Household "miracles"

from Barbara O'Neal:

Hi, Tarts.  Please help me welcome our guest today. Megan Chance is the critically acclaimed, award-winning author of several novels of historical fiction. Her latest, City of Ash, (which garnered extraordinarily good reviews, including a starred review from PW)  is set during the Great Seattle fire of 1889, and features two very different women who must join together to change their fate–and neither one of them does housework. 

She's also one of my very favorite historical authors, with a unique and powerful voice. If you haven'tWelcome, Megan!  

 

by Megan Chance

I am a twenty-first century girl. Although I’m a historical novelist who loves the past, I do NOT
believe I’ve been born into the wrong century. I love technology. I love my Ipod, my Iphone, and my laptop. I love my desktop computer. I love food processors and KitchenAid mixers and convection ovens. There is, in fact, only one thing I hate about technology: 

How much “easier” it makes housework. 

Now, that’s not to say I don’t think washing machines and electric ovens and microwaves have in fact made housework easier. But I also study the 19^th century, and so I see the extreme irony in the fact that some household “miracles” have actually made things harder.

Take the vacuum cleaner, for example. It used to be that rugs were taken up once (or perhaps twice) a year, beaten vigorously, then put down again. I realize that beating a rug seems a lot of work, but what I like most about this idea is that you only have to do it ONCE a year. And everyone’s rugs looked the same, so it’s not as if anyone actually noticed if your rugs were dirty, because they had dirty carpets too. Another plus: how can a task that requires a big stick and a lot of thrashing be bad? It might save us all money on therapy. And, though I haven’t done the math, I’m pretty sure that beating rugs once a year takes less time and work than vacuuming once a day, or four times a week, or even once a week. So the vacuum has not actually saved any work, but created it, because those who vacuum once a day make those of us who don’t feel guilty, which means I have to do it far more often than I’m naturally inclined. 

While I’m all for a washing machine–I’m pretty sure I would hate laundry more than I do now if I had to stand over a steaming kettle stirring clothes and breathing lye fumes–I can’t help but notice that, because doing laundry is so much “easier,” we have more clothes. More to wash, more to dry, more to fold–and that’s not even including the bugaboo of my existence: Ironing. After twelve years of working for a commercial photographer, where one of my jobs was to iron the clothes the models would be wearing, I do not iron anything. Ever.

And don’t even get me started on that Mr. Clean Magic Eraser–really? I really have to spend my time cleaning my walls now?

I hate housework. I persist in believing that the Powers that Be could not possibly have meant for me to clean bathrooms. Of course, the obvious solution to this is to turn my children into obedient little slaves. I’ve tried, believe me. They are curiously immune to this–which I originally thought must be a genetic predisposition to hating housework, but which I’ve since realized is only that  they’re sixteen and fourteen, and young enough to still believe that their future includes marriage to Darren Criss or Ian Sommerhalder, and maids to do all their housework. Why learn to do it now?

Who am I to spoil such innocent, lovely dreams?

Sometimes I think: yeah, carry me back to that old prairie. Give me a sod house with newspaper-covered walls and a dirt floor and no one looking askance at my dirty carpets. But then ... well, as I said, I’m a twenty-first century girl. I suppose vacuuming is a small price to pay for the REAL miracle of technology: my computer.

So which side of the fence are you on? Are you in the “I find housework to be a sublime Zen experience?” or are you “I’m with you–where’s my Rosie the Maid Robot, and how can I harness the energy of my children to perform odious tasks?” What’s your favorite bit of new household technology, and what do you wish was never invented?

(One small side note: the only time I don’t mind cleaning the house is so that I can over decorate it for Christmas. Even the dog does his part. Doesn’t he look happy?) 

 

Comments

[Judith Bandsma]

I'm with you, I'll do just about anything to get out of housework. Luckily, when it comes to laundry, my husband does it all. Thirty some odd years ago the latch on our dryer broke. Drying clothes meant propping a board against the door to hold it closed.

At the time, the part to fix it was about $3 and would have taken about 5 minutes. He just never got around to it so I refused to do any more laundry until he did. He's still doing it, even though we've gone through a couple more dryers since then. When we bought the first new one, I thought I'd have to start again but he told me, in no uncertain terms, that that was HIS and I was to keep my hands off.

I can live with that. Now, If I could just get him to fix the dishwasher....

[Storyteller Mary]

**BTW, there is no title for today's blog. unless you are going to use Megan's name as the title?
Welcome, Megan -- I'll have to check out your books. I like historical fiction (so much more fun than history class ever was).
Ironing? What is this ironing whereof you speak? I do have an iron in the closet in "the room of requirement," but I personally haven't used it in years. I did lend it to my friend to iron table cloths at the Y (since my house is so close, I could get it for her in mere minutes). The ironing board is now my stand-up desk for when I have sat too long at the computer . . .
Laundry is so easy that I don't mind it. Vacuuming is done when I can see the need for it (though I should make it a more regular event, dust allergies and all). Before I had the in-wall system and cork floors (instead of carpet), I had a cleaning person every two weeks. It was lovely to come home from a long teaching day to a clean house -- less convenient finding stuff to do away from home to allow hours for the dust to settle from the air and the toxic cleaning supplies to dissipate. There is now a company that uses only green products, and I am thinking that a once-a-year professional cleaning might be a good thing . . . someday.
* I'm awake so early partly to have more Advil for the troubled tooth, and partly because Eragon is in such trouble (and the library wants its book back soon).
Good morning!

[Karen in Ohio]

Megan, you are a girl after my own heart. Not about the cleaning; I was raised by a mother who made us vacuum EVERY. DAY. when we were home in the summer. She worked, so she couldn't do it, but someone had to. So I can't live in a mess. And I made my girls clean, beginning when they were young enough that maid fantasies weren't in their purview. (They also began doing their own laundry when they were each six. I'm cruel. But they knew how to take care of their own clothes when they went to college.)

No, where we are in perfect harmony is that it is not easier today, when you're talking about cleaning. Have you ever noticed old houses have very small closets? Sometimes with just hooks? People simply did not have that many clothes back in the day. Sure, that dress or shirt may have needed ironing, but it wasn't one of 20 in the closet. Unless one was Jay Gatsby, the Oprah Winfrey of the early years.

No one had wall-to-wall carpeting, vacuuming of which is a major time suck. Refrigerators had tiny freezers, so no one spent hours every year (okay, every couple of years) clearing out and tossing old, unused stuff. The only thing that fit in those little guys was a half-gallon of ice cream (before they were reduced to 3/4 of that size) and a couple ice cube trays. What's to clean out? Maybe defrost it once or twice year.

A fellow backblogger just spent a lot of time and money having her closets reorganized. That industry would never have existed before the last 30 or so years; it wouldn't have been necessary.

[Alan P.]

As the only cook and bottle washer, I would just like someone to share the duties with. After 25 years of cleaning restaurants, cleaning a house is easy. I just wish I could get some help. A few months ago I went "on strike." The washing machine only washed male clothes for ten days. Baskets of clean clothes sat on the floor next to an increasing pile of dirty ones. After about ten days, I gave up.

Karen one of the Princesses had a school assignment to count hangers in the house. Princess One and Two broke 200. Did I mention I can do serious damage in the pink department at the mall?

[Nancy Martin]

Wait a minute. At our summer cottage, there's no Hoover, so my mother insisted we take the carpets out and beat them TWICE A WEEK. She didn't get that once a year memo,I guess. Hmmmmmmmm.

Thanks for being our guest, Megan! City of Ash looks great!

[xena]

I have wood floors and a couple of rugs at the doors. I sweep stuff into little piles once in a while and put them in a dust pan. The spiders eat the mosquitoes so they stay in the corners.
Just coaxed a teenage possum into the kitchen trash bin. He now lives next to the canal by the railroad.
Laundry? Once a month.
Iron? When I'm going to wear it.
Sorting and picking up stuff? When someone is coming over. One room at a time.
Thanks for joining us today!

[Edie]

When my mom went to college, she had two dresses...one to wash and one to wear. I don't know if she had to iron it or not. I myself do not mind ironing, except for having to stand while you do it, and I have a spouse who vacuums and does the dishes. I do the washing and ironing and other cleaning and the cooking. It's a pretty good life. And I really love my computer and the iPad, the Sirius, my cell phone and my sewing machines...and my relatively clean carpets!

[Storyteller Mary]

Alan, maybe you need to get Karen to help motivate some help for you in your house . . . Karen, can you take on some apprentices?
My mom was of the "it's easier to do it myself" mentality. Dad would take a stand periodically to enforce sharing of the workload. It all worked out . . .

[marie]

Welcome, Megan!!
Some days I feel like am robotically programmed to do chores.
It begins with a trip to the washing machine, to the dishwasher to the baby, and then to the computer.
I say baby because I watch my little grandson two days a week. There is no robot but myself to change diapers and walk him in the stroller. My reward is his sweet face looking up at me as I tend to him.
Sometimes, it's soothing to perform household tasks..sometimes not.
But at the end of the day there is a sense of order and accomplishment and then I escape to read, watch TV and relax until it starts all over again.

[stuckinmypedals]

Last year I received the best Christmas present ever: a housekeeper every other week. She is lovely and spends a couple of hours making everything sparkle. My husband is tickled because this is the gift I want every year. No more Christmas shopping for him. No more mopping for me. Perfect.

[The gold digger]

I clean my house only because I don't like living in a dirty house. But for day to day, I just take off my glasses. It's a lot harder to see dirt without glasses.

When I had my outside the house money job, I had a cleaning lady once every three weeks. She was mostly good until the day that her little girl scribbled with a pen all over my newly-reupholstered white sofa (the one that made my mom say, "I'm never going to be a grandmother, am I?")

But at least she never cleaned my toilet with the vegetable brush, as my cleaning lady in Chile did: http://diaryofagolddigger.blogspot.com/2011/07/in-which-my-cleaning-lady-uses.html

[The gold digger]

Judith, my washer and dryer broke on the same day. I had asked my long-distance boyfriend for a hiatus, but when I wrote on my blog about the tragedy of the machines, he flew from Milwaukee to Memphis to repair them. It is one of the most romantic things anyone has ever done for me and it made me realize he might be a keeper. (Which he was.)

The story is here: http://diaryofagolddigger.blogspot.com/2010/03/in-which-primo-slays-dragon-for-me.html

[Doc In CA]

I do most of the cooking, dog washing, clothes washing, vacuuming, mopping and bathroom cleaning around our house. Oh, and all of the gardening.

My wife does everything else, including fixing any computer problems, wemistressing my website and paying the bills.

I reckon it's an even trade.

[Fran]

I so loathe housework it's astonishing. It might even fall into the realm of deep psychosis.

And yet. . .I don't mind doing laundry, although I don't iron. Much. We keep the dishwasher loaded and the dirty dishes out of the sink. Lillian does the vacuuming, as well as all the household repairs (yay for the newly improved front bathroom!).

I try to think "a place for everything and everything in its place" but realisitically? It takes company coming over before anything gets done, so no spur of the moment dropping by, if you please!

[Megan Chance]

I love reading all of your comments--it does my little heart good to know I'm not the only one. I've bought my children and my husband lots of underwear, so I only have to do laundry about every two weeks. And I have managed to get those little demons of mine to fold clothes. As for the vacuum--I decided recently to change the belt on it, which hadn't been changed in ... oh, probably two years. It was amazing! The thing sucked up like it never had before. It reduced my usual vacuuming from 1 hour to a 1/2 hour ... and it burned up the roller, which hadn't been cleaned in about the same amount of time, just melting the plastic parts together. Luckily the vacuum repair guy had a used one, so it only cost me $50. And a lot of time and swearing. :)
Doc, you sound like a keeper, and I am in love with the boyfriend who flew out to fix the washer and dryer. Send him my way!

[Judi]

As a senior home ec student in college I spent 6 weeks living in the Home Management house. Every week we were assigned a different special cleaning project - mine was to wash down the bathroom walls. Really? When supposedly they had just been washed down 6 weeks ago? Not this girl. To me, if I can't see dirt, it's not dirty. Oh certainly, clean around wall switches, etc., if you are expecting important company. Or, get lower wattage lights!

[Nancy Pickard]

Hi, Megan, and welcome. You make very good points here! I like the way you think of historical justifications for me to avoid housecleaning.

[Doc In CA]

If I might give a dishwashing hint from my bachelor days: wash 'em in the shower when you wash yourself. This can also work for bathing dogs, provided the dog is not too big or jumpy.

Mind you, when I was unmarried, I never had more than 4-5 dirty dishes at a time, since I usually ate out of the pot I cooked the food in. Also: paper plates!

[gaylin in Vancouver]

Hi Megan, welcome to the tribe.

Last week I bought a salted caramel chocolate bar to bribe myself to clean the bathtub. The chocolate is still in the cupboard, the tub still dirty.

My mom was very clean when we were kids, she would say her house was a mess when the newspaper was on the hearth instead of in its own basket . . .

Who else's mother had house dresses to wear at home and 'good' clothes to wear out of the house! Big cotton house dresses that someone made for her.

I love my Swiffer. I hate vacuuming so it only happens once a month. The only problem with sunny days is that it highlights the dirty windows and the dust on the furniture!

We had to make our beds every day when at home, now I only make the bed when I change the sheets.

I really want to eat the chocolate bar, I may clean the tub today.

[Megan Chance]

I actually don't remember the last time I cleaned my windows. Maybe last Christmas, so we could put up the window stickers? I've NEVER washed the outside of them, and we've lived here ten years. Really, it's gross to think of it. I love it when I walk into a friend's house only to find it's as filled with clutter as mine is, because my sisters' (I have three of them)homes are so hopelessly clean that it depresses me. So it's nice to see other people aren't so obsessive about it. But it does mean I have to do a really do a good job of cleaning twice a year: Christmas and Easter, when they all come to my house.

[gaylin in Vancouver]

Megan, I did manage to clean the outside of my windows last spring, first time in 5 1/2 years. I am on the third floor of my building so it took some ingenuity to get this done. Now I can clearly see the mountains!

I have a rule, the first time someone visits my house I get it all nice and clean for their visit. After that I hope that the first impression holds because I only tidy up for subsequent visits.

[Deb]

Oh, Megan, you have clutter? You are welcome in my home any time! (We must be soul sisters!)

I like to have a clean home. Due to spinal fusion surgeries and ongoing problems, I'm not supposed to do housework or laundry. I cannot afford a cleaning person, so I sort of muddle along. I can't remember the last time I vacuumed so it must have been at least six weeks ago - it's too painful an activity for me to forget right away. I do the laundry weekly but I alternate "light" weeks with "heavy" weeks. My home is clean enough that the health dept won't be coming around anytime soon.

I know I'm in trouble when I start fantasizing about cleaning; before long, I find myself wandering through the cleaning product aisles at the stores and wanting to buy products that I cannot safely use! I remind myself that I can choose to have a clean home and a lot of pain - or I can have a not so clean home and a lesser degree of pain. Dust tends to win nearly every time! But I DO feel self-conscious about the clutter and I rarely invite people over anymore, unless it's someone who knew me before all the back problems.

Megan,I am willing to make an exception for you!

[Linda Rodriguez]

Megan, great post! We are definitely soul sisters. I've been known to pick up one of Laura Wilder's books to justify my house--where the dust bunnies have all been eaten by the dust gorillas--to myself.

Deb, I hear you on the housework or pain front. I've had spinal fusion surgery, have lupus and fibromyalgia. I can have a clean house and spend the weeks until the next cleaning spree in bed unable to write or do anything else, or I can do bits here and there to make things more livable and ignore the rest. I used to have people over a lot, but not in recent years. I love my old house, but if I'd known I would have all these physical problems, I'd have bought something new and single-level that's easier to clean and doesn't fill with dust overnight.

Mary Catherine Bateson, Margaret Mead's daughter, once told me, "Men are so ridiculous. Look at their war on poverty. It's like declaring a war on dust! Any woman knows you can't defeat dust or dirt. The best you can do is a holding action."

[Judith Bandsma]

Somebody mentioned the Health department? I figure clean enough to be healthy, dirty enough to be happy is what counts.

[Sandra Ludwig]

I strongly agree with Gaylin's idea. We have to make sure every corner of the house is clean when a relative or a visitor is coming. But come to think of it, why do we only clean our house when somebody's coming, when we can clean it more often? That's so hilarious!