Watson and the Snake Charmer

By Diane Chamberlain

When I posted about being a quasi-groupie back in the day, it made me want to reconnect with my old friend Marilyn, with whom I'd shared that adventure. Marilyn and I lost touch in our late teens and I don't know her married name, so although I've searched the Internet, I haven't been able to track her down. (Marilyn Butchko from Bayonne, New Jersey: if you're out there, please get in touch!) The experience prompted me to ask my Facebook friends if they'd been able to find people from their past through the 'net and I heard many heartwarming stories, but this is one of my favorites.

In 1964, I was a young teen growing up in Plainfield, New Jersey. Plainfield was a small ethnically diverse city on the cusp of huge upheaval brought about by the civil rights movement. To me, it was an exciting place and an exciting time to be alive. I particularly loved downtown Plainfield on Thursday nights, when the stores stayed open late and (it seemed to me) the teens took over the streets. One of those teens was a guy named Snake. Snake was a few years older than me and he was uber-cool. Well, probably the jocks and cheerleaders didn't even think of him that way, but kids like me--the mostly innocent pre-hippie, pre-folkie, pre-druggie ilk--all knew who Snake was. He was suspended for his long hair before the rest of the boys even thought of growing their locks. He was the quintessential bad boy--the guy you knew deep in your gut was really a lot safer than he looked, even if your parents didn't quite agree.  

Anyhow, fast forwarding a few decades: Snake is a now a Facebook friend of mine and when I asked my question about finding old friends via the Internet, he responded with his "reconnection story" with a girl he used to know. I asked him if I could interview the two of them about their relationship, so without further ado, here is their story. Snake's real name is Watson Garman, and even though he'll always be Snake to me, I'll break down and call him Watson here.

Diane: How did you two first meet?

WATSON: Late on a Thursday night in 1964,I was sitting at the Conca-Dorro Pizza Parlor in Plainfield. I had just enough money for one slice and a Coke. Two girls at another table invited me to join them and help them finish their pie. I wasn't used to getting a lot of attention from girls, so I was surprised, but naturallly, I accepted. We talked a bit and then one of them, Sandy, invited me to a party at her house for that Saturday. I never got invited to parties, so again I was surprised and again I accepted.

That Saturday night, I stood outside the house. I was a bit nervous about going in. On Friday night I'd been beaten up by some jocks from North Plainfield for being a "long haired faggotty freak" and I wondered what I was walking into. Plus, a friend's father had recently slammed his door in my face, saying he didn't want his son hanging around with any 'long haired creeps'. I wasn't excited about having another door slammed in my face or running into more guys who wanted to kick my ass. Eventually, though, I got up the nerve to knock on the door.

Sandy answered, gave me a big hug and thanked me for coming. She told me the party was downstairs. I asked to use her bathroom first. I was still nervous and wanted to comb my hair. Then I walked down the stairs real slow, scanning the room, checking everyone out. A guy and a girl sat on one end of a couch. The girl just  mesmerized me--dark hair, dark eyes, wow! Suddenly I noticed she was staring back at me and we both looked embarrassed and turned away quickly. I had just gotten my first glimpse of Carole.

CAROLE: Sandy told me she invited this guy she met downtown to her party. He was called Snake and he was really cool and he had long hair.  I was definitely intrigued to meet someone called Snake--the first guy to have long hair in Plainfield.  I was watching intently as he came down the basement stairs.  Halfway down the stairs he stopped to look around the room.  Our eyes met briefly and then we both looked away.  For me it was out of embarrassment because I didn't want him to think I was interested.  But I couldn't keep my eyes off him.  I never imagined he might be checking me out too.  

WATSON: Sandy led me around the room, introducing me to everyone. I was hoping the guy sitting next to Carole wasn't her boyfriend. When we got to them, Sandy said 'this is my friend Carole.' I took her hand and looked into her eyes and said 'I'm very happy to meet you.' She looked at me and said 'pleased to meet you too'. Reluctantly, I let go of her hand as Sandy introduced me to the guy sitting next to her. I tried to hide my elation when she didn't say he was Carole's boyfriend. Then I had to formulate a plan: How could I get her away from the guy on the couch?

I noticed their sodas were almost gone so I sat on the floor between them and where Sandy had the drinks. I figured if he went for the drinks, I'd go for the couch. If she went for them, I'd intercept her before she got back to the couch. If they went together, I'd have to come up with another plan.

CAROLE: He took a seat on the floor, and I sat there wondering if he would even talk to me.  You know the angst of a 15 yr old girl, right?  After about 15 minutes when he didn't come over I decided to try something to get him to notice me.  So, I got up from the couch and walked close by him to get a soda.  I purposely walked back by him and he suddenly reached for my hand and said something like, "Would like to join me on the floor?" Without hesitation I replied "I'd love to".  

WATSON: I was stunned when she said yes. Still holding her hand, I guided her down so she sat facing me and with her back to the guy on the couch. VICTORY!

CAROLE: Yes,  he wouldn't just let me plop down where I was standing.  In a gallant gesture, he led me by the hand, circling him until I was on the opposite side.  Then he gestured for me to sit.  At that point I was pretty much gone.  He tells me now he purposely placed me on the opposite side so that I couldn't see the guy I had been sitting next to on the couch.   To this day I can't remember that guy.  Once our eyes locked on that staircase, Snake was all I saw. 

WATSON: We talked for a long time about music, movies, school. All the topics that seem important when you're young.

CAROLE: We spent the rest of the party talking and having so much fun. I found out we both had passions for great literature and all the new and old rock and folk music which is what really connected us at first.  I remember thinking there probably were many people in town that just dismissed him because they thought that with a name like Snake, how intelligent could this guy be?  But as we talked and got to know each other more it was clear to me this guy was not only great looking and a charmer, but very smart too.  I was having the time of my life. I was still not sure how he felt, but obviously I was hooked. 

WATSON: I didn't want to push my luck, so after about an hour I told her, "your friend on the couch is shooting me dirty looks. If you want to go back to the couch, I understand." She looked and me and said, "I'm having a wonderful time right here." WOW! I couldn't believe it. She actually wanted to stay with me. I was flying.

CAROLE: I stayed there the rest of the night, oblivious to anyone else in the room.  

WATSON: When I noticed people were starting to leave I leaned over and asked her, "May I kiss you?"

CAROLE: I told him that most guys don't ask.  He just said "I'm not like most guys." (such an understatement!).  I said yes. 

WATSON: We then shared the first truly romantic kiss of my life and then we spent the next few seconds in silence, just looking at each other.

CAROLE: We kissed again, this time a little longer.  We kissed a few more times before he left but I never got over that first kiss with him.

WATSON: I asked her if I could walk her home, but she said she was spending the night at Sandy's with another friend.  

CAROLE: He took my phone number and said he would call.  I wasn't sure if I should believe him but I hoped he would.

WATSON: I left the party and started to walk down the street. After half a block, I turned and walked back. I leaned up against a tree and just looked the house. An upstairs light went on and I knew that must be where the girls were staying. I thought they must be talking about me and wondered what they were saying to Carole. Were they thinking it was cool that we hooked up or were they warning her to watch out for me? After awhile, I headed home singing out loud a song that had been playing on the radio earlier that day: Herman's Hermits I'm Into Something Good.

DIANE: -What was your relationship like back then? Why did it end?

CAROLE; It was a week before he called.  I was miserable that week, figuring he never would call.  But he did.  And we met across from the diner on Saturday.  He grabbed my hand and led me to Woolworth's, telling me "Let's go get our picture made!"  I thought that was a little strange but exciting too.  

 

 WATSON:  I thought of her as my girl friend and there was a lot of holding hands and kissing. I liked showing her the places I hung out.  It was a sweet and innocent relationship.

CAROLE: It was only 2-3 months before my Dad transferred to Oklahoma City and I had to move.  We never told each other how we felt about each other.  You know--as kids you just didn't put your heart out there like that. 

DIANE: -Did you think about each other over the years?

WATSON:   I often thought about Carole and wondered where she was. I even got an Oklahoma City phone book and tried calling all the people with her surname in there. I figured she was probably married and had a new name but I thought I might at least find her family. I just wanted to know that she was happy. Once I was doing a photo shoot on top of one of the largest buidings in Los Angeles. Somehow people started talking about old boyfriends/girlfriends we'd like to see again. Just before we left the building I went over to edge, faced east and yelled out loud, "Carole, where are you?"

CAROLE: I moved on. I married a wonderful guy and had a great life with him for a very long time, but I never forgot about Snake.  I just couldn't get rid of his letters and pictures after I married like they say you should, so I kept them hidden away. I'd occasionally get them out and wonder what had happened to him. 

DIANE:Who started looking for the other first?

CAROLE: I got amicably divorced in 1996.  In 2000 a couple of Plainfield friends I kept in touch with told me they thought Snake was dead, killed in Vietnam.  For some weird reason I didn't believe it.  Something told me he was still alive somewhere.  When I found Classmates.com, I decided to put a message on the Plainfield High School site to see if anyone knew what had happened to him.  I got lots of responses.  Finally someone said they thought he was living in California with his wife and daughter.  I was happy to know he was alive.  Eventually I gave up my Classmates membership and never looked at that message string again. 

DIANE: How did you find each other again?

WATSON: Eventually, I saw the thread about me on the Classmates.com site and I sent her a message. Two weeks went by without a reply, so I decided to give it one more try.

CAROLE: I had moved to Houston in 2001 and had a new email address with my new Internet access, but I never looked at it.  One night I decided to go to that account and delete all the accumulated junk mail, you know?  There were about 500-600 emails and I was just quickly checking them for deletion.  Suddenly, one of them got my attention.  The last name was Garman. I had already checked it for deletion but luckily had not yet deleted it.  It took me about 5 minutes to get the nerve up to open it.   I don’t know why I was scared but I knew that once I opened that email I would be either very excited or very disappointed.  Either way I just knew my life would be forever impacted by it.  It read, “I don’t know if you remember me but we dated in Plainfield.  I just wanted you to know you were always very special to me and I kept your pictures in my wallet for 20 years.”  To this day I think about how close we came to missing each other.  I would never have known how much he cared for me all those years ago. 

 DIANE: When did you know you wanted to make a go of your relationship?

WATSON: After we started e-mailing, our notes got flirtatious in very short order.

 CAROLE: Yes, within a couple of emails we were flirting again and we quickly changed from emails to phone calls. He was in the middle of getting a divorce, I was divorced.  He happened to be living just a two-hour flight from me. Within a couple of months I knew I was getting hung up on him all over again.  I knew we had to see each other at least one time.  So 2 months after that first email, he came to Dallas.  Of course we were both nervous and scared.  Neither one of us looked the same as we did 42 years ago.   What would happen when we actually saw each other again?   He told me I would know him because he would be the guy wearing a black cowboy hat.  I told him "you’re coming to Dallas…that won’t exactly set you apart from the crowd at the airport, you know."  

WATSON: I was scared shitless! I was no longer that 17-year-old kid she met at that party. I knew either way it was going to be a life changing event. Either the magic would still be there or she would take one look at me and say "what the hell was I thinking?"

That walk from the plane to the baggage area, where I knew she was waiting, was one of the longest walks of my life.

CAROLE: The airport is called Love Field.  Isn’t that crazy?

WATSON: We saw each other and rushed into each other's arms like a scene in some old film on Turner Classic Movies, and I felt that things just might work out. It only took a matter of hours for us to know that something was happening.

CAROLE: We  had a wonderful weekend. 

WATSON: It really hit me when it came time for me to go back to Albuquerque that I didn't want to get on that plane.
 
CAROLE: We were both so sad when he had to leave on Sunday.  He came back every 2 months for the next year.  Within a couple of visits we knew he was going to eventually come here after his divorce was final.  Almost 1 year to the day of that email, he moved here and we have been having the time of our lives ever since! 

 

What more is there to say? Thank you, Snake and Carole, for sharing your story and your wonderful pictures. I love it!

So how about the rest of you? Who have you reconnected with on the Internet?

Comments

[vibram five fingers]

The last name was Garman. I had already checked it for deletion but luckily had not yet deleted it.

[Josh]

Well, other than Sarah, and mine is much more pedestrian than the story you told. With Sarah, I'm more like a bad penny at this point.

I had just moved to Bethlehem at the beginning of 9th grade, and I knew one person in my school, other than my sister, who was in the special ed class. On the first day, I was sitting in homeroom, and a girl walked in in a cheerleader outfit. She was the absolutely most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my life, jaw-droppingly gorgeous, long brunette hair, terrific body, pretty face, just awe-inspiring. She and I became minor acquaintances in the way that people in homeroom for four years are, sort of hallway "hi's," never anything more than that. I was always struck dumb when I was near her and never ran with the same crowd, so it wasn't as if we could ever have a relationship. Come 2008 or 2009, I got a friend request on FaceBook from her. I accepted and told the story that I told above, more or less, and she wrote back, told me that she was surprised that I even remembered her given our limited relationship and what she deemed as my popularity (ha!), and that it was the nicest email she had ever gotten. We have stayed FaceBook friends for the last few years, probably no closer than we were from 1976 to 1980, but it is a warm feeling for me to tell the story that the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my entire life (in 9th grade) friended me. She's told me that she only has one or two FB friends from high school, which is really the same with me. But if we do end up meeting some time, I think I would be able to talk to her now.

[William]

THIS is one for the ages! And it just proves, once again, if you want something special to happen, you have to come to TEXAS!

Diane, thanks for telling this. Snake and Carole, if y'all are reading this, Good For You!

I recently ran across a girl I met in Junior High. She was a Senior, beautiful, with a singing voice that was stunning. I was a Baby Freshman, and could teach someone how to play chess and compare and contrast the scientific errors in STAR TREK vs. the "Captain Future" novels by Edmond Hamilton...:) We didn't come from 'different worlds', there were universes between us.

BUT.... to this day, I have an incredibly vivid memory of her singing The Turtle's HAPPY TOGETHER at an assembly. Somehow, someway, our eyes met for a moment or two, and it was as if she was singing only to me.

Needless to say, I had a major MAJOR crush from that moment. If I saw her across the Quad, my day was made. She went on to high school, I spent another two years in Jr. High, and ended up going to a different high school. We went to the same university, but I never ran into her again.

Recently learned she's carved out a nice career as a lounge singer in Los Angeles. Found her website, ordered her CD's, sent an email. Got a kind reply, but she didn't remember me (I'd have been more surprised if she had), but it was a nice flashback to a more innocent time....:)

[Judith Bandsma]

I found my favorite ex-husband's next wife after me on Facebook. We're still friends. When I asked her for her recipe for mayonnaise cake she told me that she still had my recipe cards from 40 years ago and would be glad to send them back to me...and did.

[Reine, Revenger of Inhumane Negatives]

Diane, that is a beautiful story. And I love the photos.

I've reconnected with a number of friends from childhood and highschool. Two were serious boyfriends that were also good friends in other ways, so I didn't feel uncomfortable about contacting them.

Shell and I shared a lot, as he had also become quadriplegic since we'd last seen each other in Marblehead. He died recently, and I am connecting with his family. We had lived very close and had no idea. His wife looks a lot like me, and my husband looks a lot like him.

My dear Scott became a boat builder and moved to Maine. We talk frequently, and we sometimes meet in Boston for coffee. He sends me books and tells me about his boats. Sometimes we ride around in his ancient car. He tries to get me to be more "spiritual." I guess getting going to seminary an MDiv isn't spiritual. Ah Scott.

My favorite reconnect, though, has been with my childhood babysitter, Bunny. I was going through the Internet version of our old town newspaper and saw her picture. She was getting an award at a sports banquet for her basketball playing - something her school didn't do for girls when she was on the team. They had reconnected with as many of the girl athletes they could find and held a sports banquet for them, the beginning of new standard at the school.

At the time I happened upon her photo, Bunny wasn't on Facebook, but I found her email address on the free Yahoo People Finder. She emailed back immediately. We picked right up, even though the last time I saw her, I was only 13 years old. We talk on the phone and email frequently.

One of the nicest things about getting back in touch with Bunny is that I have been able to email her very old photos of her and her sisters, and their dog. These are photos that my mother had taken of them. Beautiful pictures they never knew existed. Bunny was the oldest of the three girls, and she was only 10-12 years old at the time most were taken.

For me it was especially nice finding the photos, because they document a period of time when things were good with my mother. Some were taken at the cottage in the woods and by the lake, and others were by the ocean in Salem and Marblehead. Very sweet. And good to think about.

[Margaret Maron]

Charming, Diane. (PS - we're still missing YOU!)

[Deb]

Diane, it sounds like a fairy tale! I hope they live happily ever after!

(NORTH Plainfield NJ is where I spend Easters. Weird, huh? One of my sisters, to whom I am very close, lives there; how I wish she lived somewhere like the Carolinas!)

I am not honestly sure if I want to reconnect with anyone from my teen years. I hated my high school and couldn't wait to go on to college. In my senior year of high school I joined a regional youth group and made the kinds of friends I wish I had had all throughout high school. Now, perhaps I might want to look up a couple of them some day. There was this one really sweet guy...

[Rod Pennington]

Having played the role of “Snake” in summer stock in Ohio in the second half of the 1960, this story really hits home. Thanks to FaceBook about a year ago I reconnected to with the “Bathtub Boys.” Our friend Stu Levy (now an MD and photographer in Portland, OR) took the picture of these long haired freaks when at the time the average male on campus when to class with a crew cut. The “rebels” left their sports coats and ties in the car.

http://rodpennington.net/1969.jpg

Bill Spears is in front, is now a feng shui master and runs “FortunateBlessings.org” that does counseling for children after disasters. He is currently in Japan.

Next is me.

Then Michael Blackman, he is a freelance writer who had to abandon New Orleans after Katrina and now lives in Charlotte, NC

Last is Jeff Meschel. He has lived in Israel for four decades but still writes a kick ass music blog. http://www.jmeshel.com/?p=1979 Jeff was my wingman for 3 years of covering the Rock scene. He wrote, I took the pictures. I have some on my Facebook fan page.

Without FaceBook I doubt we would have ever have caught up. Having these guys back in my life is amazing.

Of course, I have the recurring FaceBook nightmare. A 45 year old who I’ve seen before will knock on my door and say “Hello, daddy.” Brrrrr.

[Harley]

I can't even think of any stories of my own because I'm crying over Carole and Snake. I just love this story. (sob.)

[Diane Chamberlain]

Lol, Rod!

[Sandi]

Fifteen years ago, my brother was engaged to be married, but some issues cropped up stemming from her history of abuse at the hands of an uncle. Nikki ended the engagement then discovered she was pregnant. They tried to make it work, but she was increasingly mistrustful of Bob, and left him before the baby was born. It wasn't pretty - she tried to hide the baby's birth from him, and when they went to court she wanted him to pay child support without allowing him to see his daughter. That didn't fly with the judge, but after two years she moved to another state and essentially disappeared. Although my brother tried to locate her through the child support system, they would not give him any information. He continued to pay child support but didn't get to participate in Lilly's life. (I'll be fair, here - he could have searched much harder.) About a year ago, he was on Facebook and on a whim he searched for his daughter's name - and found her. Nikki was also on Facebook, and my brother contacted them. Apparently she had also tried to find Bob through the child support system and was also denied. With Nikki's permission, Bob and Lilly talked daily through Facebook, email and on the phone. They invited him up to visit last summer, and Lilly spent Christmas Eve with us. Her stepfather is her dad, but Lilly calls my brother Pop.

[Diane Chamberlain]

Sandi, that puts tears in my eyes!

[Hank Phillippi Ryan]

OH, my goodness. Lovely, wonderful, perfect.

The photos. Bring tears to my eyes.

thank you!

[Diane Chamberlain]

I know, Hank. I'm so grateful to Carole and Snake for sharing those photos!

[marie]

Diane, this is such a lovely story. You told it so well and I have only best wishes for the wonderful reunited couple.
I don't have any similar stories but I think that people that we knew early on affect us deeply and memories give us a sense of being grounded in our roots.
I think that I am still the same person that I was in my teens and early twenties and feel happy and carefree in my mind as I did then. I am happy to have come this far in life and grateful for all the memories and now feel blessed for all the people that I know now.

[watson garman]

thank you all for the kind words and thank you diane for finding our story interesting enough to put on your blog.
As I sit here I can look over my shoulder and see Carole and realize how lucky I am.

thanks again, Snake

[Lora in Florida]

What a beautiful story, Snake and Carole! I am so happy for you.

I have found some wonderful friends from high school with whom I had lost contact. I love being able to catch up on their lives...and my favorite part of FB is keeping up with those who move out of your life for whatever reason. Some good friends have moved, and I am able to keep up with their daily lives with FB.

[Laura (in PA)]

What an amazing story. Thanks to Snake and Carole (and Diane) for sharing it with us.

I had a boy I liked in high school, but we were both shy. When we were Freshman, in the high school way, my friend asked his friend if he like me, etc. etc. This went on for months. It was finally determined that he was going to "ask me out" during some event - a game? a dance? - on February 9. He did, and we were "going out" for a while. As we went through high school, we moved on to dating others, but stayed friends the whole time. When we were asked to write about memories or significant dates under our yearbook picture, both of us listed "Feb 9", though neither of us realized it until it was published.

He went off to college, I went to a local 2-year college, and we lost touch. He ended up becoming a dentist and moving to Buffalo, I married, had a kid, divorced, married again, and moved to PA. Life went on. We didn't speak or see each other for over 15 years.

Then, one day in 1998, on February 9, I came home to a dozen red roses and a card that said, Happy 20th Anniversary of February 9th. I was floored. We got back in touch, email back and forth rather sporadically, talk on the phone occasionally, and are now friends on Facebook too. We still haven't seen each other in person since about 1984, but I still get roses every Feb. 9.

[Alan P.]

I took the opportunity to look through my Fb friends. There is the other girl I sent a Valentine's flower to and a couple I had a crush on. I have never sent a friend request to any ex girlfriends, although I did find pictures of one. If she hadn't been standing with her brothers, I would not have recognized her. Probably better that way anyway.

Next week about 15 or so of us from high school will get together. One of "the gang" is making his semi-annual treks to St. Louis, and we will have a day with our kids at the park.

Now there was this girl I went out with once or twice in high school who had a boyfriend and all that. We started going out about eight years after high school and have been ever since. But that was all with regular phones, not email.

[Josh]

Laura, that is a great story.

[gaylin in vancouver]

Such lovely stories! Thank you all for a great start to the day.

I haven't got any old beaus I want to get in touch with but I recently did find a girl that I went to school with who was one of the only ones in my school that I admired. In a school with over 1,500 students she was the only one who, to me, seemed like a grown up. She was one of the cool kids but not a snob or mean girl. It was great to find her and we message every now and then and intend to get together for a visit if we both happen to end up in our hometown at the same time.

[Diane Chamberlain]

Laura, I love that story! So sweet.

[Elaine Viets]

Snake and Carole, what a sweet story. Diane, thanks for telling it to us.
I reconnected with an old boyfriend. We had both married other people after we broke up -- and we're still happily married.
We decided breaking up was the right thing for us to do, though we remember each other fondly.

[Karen in Ohio]

Rub-a-dub-dub, Rod. Four men in a tub! All these years I thought Carrie looked like Jan. Now I see how much she resembles you!

Snake and Carole, may you have many more years together. What a lovely story you shared with us.

I reconnected with old boyfriends twice, and both times were unmitigated disasters. All the experiences did were to make me glad we broke up. But I have no fewer than five friends/acquaintances who have found again the loves of their lives, usually at high school reunions. Two of those friends left their spouses for the old/new love.

[Deb]

Harley,
A belated "congratulations" to you! (I meant to say something earlier.)I look forward to reading your story. I have always enjoyed your books.

Laura, your story is so sweet! Thanks for sharing it.

[mothrababe]

What a wonderful story...and it did actually end 'happily ever after'. Happy for Sandi and 'Snake'. :-D

My husband has spent 40 years or so in his home town so I have come up against his old girlfriends now and then. However, recently, I've reconnected with two special people from my airforce days: an old boyfriend who was special to me and who is still an unmarried free spirit, and one of my pals I used to go clubbing with. From school, I've reconnected with a lovely lady who was in the same grade as me and who was as equally, if not more, picked on as me. I treasure those reconnections as it feels like I have roots somewhere. With all of the moving around and then moving here to the USA a lot of friendship bridges fell behind me...since then, I've been rebuilding a few. :-D

Wonderful, wonderful blog post. Thank you so much.
Marianne

[Kimmie_Sue]

What a wonderful story! I hope 'Snake' and Carole continue to be blissfully happy together.

[Las Vegas periodontist]

Hey Laura, your story is absolutely good. I hope many will read this. Please don't get tired of sharing this. Thank you.