Mother (Nature) Knows What She's Doing

By Elaine Viets

 
　

I’m not posting this photo of Daniel Craig because he is drool-worthy. I am a married woman, too mature to admire a man solely for his physical attributes. (Though I admit if Daniel was hustling beer at the local Hooters, I’d be winging my way there.)

Daniel is purely a scientific illustration. I read an article about sexual selection in The Economist.

"Masculine features – a big jaw, say, or a prominent brow – tend to reflect physical and behavioral traits, such as strength and aggression," the magazine said. "They are also closely linked to physiological ones, like virility and a sturdy immune system."

Daniel’s immune system looks sturdy to me.

The magazine says, "Sexual prowess ensures plenty of progeny, but it often goes hand in hand with promiscuity and a tendency to shirk parental duties or leave e  the mothers altogether."

 

Take Mel Gibson – and you can have that anti-Semitic drunk. The man may look like superb warrior material, but few women would delude themselves into believing Mel will help change diapers.

Knights in shining armor tend to lose their luster once they’re out of their 20s. Mother Nature intended them to fight hard and die young.

"So whenever a modern woman has to choose a mate," The Economist said, "she must decide whether to place a premium on the hunk’s choicer genes or the wimp’s love and care. Lisa DeBruine, of the University of Aberdeen, believes that today’s women still face this dilemma and that their choices are affected by unconscious factors."

In disease-ridden countries, women will choose Mel Gibson types: " . . . giving birth to healthy offspring trumps having a man stick around long enough to help care for it. In more salubrious climes, therefore, wimps are in with a chance."

Another study "suggests it is not health-related factors, but rather competition and violence among men that best explains a woman’s penchant for manliness." That one was led by a man, Robert Brooks of the University of New South Wales. The magazine doesn’t mention if he’s a warrior or a wimp.

    

Both studies are intriguing. I’d like to offer my own non-scientific theory. In the rich world, we women are more able to defend ourselves and provide for our offspring.

 
 
 We don’t have to hop into bed with either Mel Gibson or sensitive types like Robert Redford. We can have both. 

 

A woman might decide Daniel Craig would be good for short term fun, but she wouldn’t want him rattling around the house for the rest of her life.

She might also decide sensitivity has its place, but become bored with constant cosseting. Rich world women have the luxury of independence. We may prefer to simply remember good times and look at the photos of former mates.

We know a picture is worth a thousand words – and never leaves the lid up on the toilet seat.

 
 

            

Comments

[marie]

In our society economics still plays a crucial part in creating a monogamous lifestyle.
Men suppress the inherent warrior trait after spending time in the gym to enhance their manliness.
Then back to the grindstone to deal with numbers, clients and competition in a civilized manner.
Women tone down their assets to exude brain power.
After hours, Brawn meets Beauty and then the comingle crisis begins.
A reversal of roles takes place at various stages of life. The virile male becomes a nurturer while the female beauty becomes a warrior protecting her offspring.

Beauty and brawn are fleeting so it is a wise woman who can make the right choice when she picks her soulmate. And the male is inherently attracted to beauty and has unknowingly been programmed to pick the right choice in many cases.

[Alan P.]

The generation line. A friend of my fathers says with pride that he never changed a diaper. The princess would tell you with pride that "Daddy does the best diapers." The wild men I went to school with are caring dads who cook and take care of kids. Many of them would love to be stay at home dads, I would.

Hot 20-something can be a 40 fat soon enough. Good with children is a keeper.

BTW I had a co-worker whose wife was a model. Have you ever seen "Tootsie?" All I need to say about her with/without make up.

[Alan P.]

Somehow I seem to have moved to the Eastern Time Zone. We have 6" of snow. Daddy may be taking the princesses sledding. Their call.

[Ramona]

"A woman might decide Daniel Craig would be good for short term fun, but she wouldn’t want him rattling around the house for the rest of her life."

I'd be happy to give it whirl. Purely for research purposes, of course.

[Laura (in PA)]

Many thanks for the eye c... er, scientific illustrations. I feel smarter already.

I agree that we have more choices since we are more independent. Which is a Very Good Thing. However, I wouldn't mind the chance to become bored with constant coddling. I can't say I've run into that problem before.

Alan, feel free to keep the snow to the west. We in the Eastern Time Zone would be happy to see the last of it.

[William]

So many things about these 'studies' made me laugh out loud this morning....:)

[Kathy Reschini Sweeney]

I will be sure to remind my teenagers that what they really need to be looking for is a sturdy immune system.

In related news, my baby boy is now officially 6 feet tall, and at 15, is not done growing. Mother Nature is very gracious.

[Rod Pennington]

“Hello, my name is Rod and I’m a stay at home dad.”
“Hello Rod,” answered a ragtag group of men most with baby throw up stains on the shoulders of their shirts.
“Despite keeping a spotless house, preparing gourmet meals, doing all the laundry and adding more to the bankbook each month then her, lately I’m getting mixed signals. First I noticed “Magnum PI” in the instant queue of Netflix. Then it was an ad for Rogaine on my pillow. Frankly, I’m confused.”
A murmur ripples through the group of men as all their heads nod in agreement.
“Sure, the hair is a bit thinner and the waist is a bit thicker but come on. Between carpooling, helping with homework, PTA, my responsibilities as a “Class Mother” and everything else who has time for the gym?”
“Amen!” shouts a young man with deep shadows under his eyes from lack of sleep. As he jumps to his feet a package of baby wipes falls out of his pocket.
“You tell ‘em brother!” Another man adds as he raises his diaper bag above his head in a show of solidarity.
“What does Daniel Craig have that I don’t have? I mean besides pecs that don’t sag, a 32 inch waistline and less than 8% body fat? What could she see in him?”
The room grew quiet and the mood darkened.
Sensing I was losing them, I plowed on. “After all this is a guy who knows more about hair products than how to cure diaper rash. His idea of a long term commitment is a weekend instead of a one night stand. Who could possibly prefer a wild night of sweaty primal sex with a gorgeous hunk over cooking and cleaning and….” I stopped and my eyes lost their focus.
After nearly an awkward minute of silence one of the support group finally asked. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m wondering how Diane Lane would look in a black teddy.”

[Ramona]

Daniel Craig has a daughter, who was a teenager during Bond mania and whom he kept out of the limelight. To my knowledge, she's never been to rehab or jail, they've appeared in a couple of premiere photos together, and she hasn't cashed in on her dad's name. So, there is no evidence whatsoever that Daniel Craig has been anything but a good father.

[Kerry]

Do not get me started on attempts by otherwise reputable scientists to apply sexual selection theory to humans. Do. Not. Get. Me. Started. I took a grad class from a guy who was at the forefront of this endeavor and, and, and. . . Do. Not. Get. Me. Started.

Natalie Angier has a great essay about this in "Woman, An Intimate Geography." I encourage any and all to read it.

Here's just one little tidbit to chew on. Recent studies show that even women who make lots of money state preferences for men who earn more than they do. This, it is claimed, is evidence that women select mates on the basis of their ability to provide for offspring. Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!

[Karen in Ohio]

Being a good dad and being a hunk are not mutually exclusive, I can attest to that firsthand.

My first husband had the cutest brown puppy dog eyes and was a macho cop, but never changed a single diaper. In fact, he probably would not have been able to figure out how to do it on his own, and still may have never done so, 40 years later. I made sure the second time around that I ended up with both sides. Hey, we Libras like things balanced, ya know?

As for Blond Bond--hubba, hubba. That's my kind of research, baby.

Is Harley sitting in front of her computer someplace, stuck at the first photo? I'm stunned she hasn't commented yet!

[nancy martin]

I applaud Ramona's selflessness when it comes to furthering science. Me, I'm still looking at that Raphael tennis player guy.

Kerry, I'm thinking the man with the big--uh--income is the one who can buy me jewelery. Oooooh! Sparkly!

[nancy martin]

WONDERFULLY hilarious stupid criminal story that surely has a Mother Nature element: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20110119/od_nm/us_ashes_odd

[Elaine Viets]

I am impressed by the scientific minds of the women of TLC. Kerry, as for social research done by men at universities -- they seem to have their heads up their . . .clipboards.

[Avery Aames]

OK, I'm a very strong female who can take care of myself. I'm married to a wonderful man who can take care of himself...

However...I'm with Ramona and Nancy. I'll be selfless and give it a go with Daniel Craig. Especially if evidence proves out that he's a good father, to boot.

Truly, he's on my list of 5. You know, the 5 people your husband would say OK, you can leave me for him. My husband has a list of 5, as well. We continually beat out the competition, though, because true love conquers all. (Sound cue: Awww.)

Note: I do like the pictures you posted, though. Fantasy is always fun.

Avery
AveryAames.com

[Kaye Barley]

Aside from the warrior thing - anyone ever see a study about women who prefer a man who can make her laugh? Is it unusual that I treasure that trait above (well, almost . . . ) all else? But oh yes, as Avery says - "fantasy is always fun." My fantasies always include a lot of laughter. Should I be seeking professional help about this??

[Karen in Ohio]

Oh, no, Kaye, not unusual at all.

One of my all-time favorite men is Gene Wilder. I consider him sexy as hell, largely because of how darned funny he is.

[Brunonia Barry]

I'm with Kaye. My husband used to do stand up, and his ability to make me laugh is what sustains us. That said, it was the blue eyes that first got me. And the bod. The income earning potential? Never even crossed my mind.

[Maryann Mercer]

Thank the lord you've all fixated on Blond Bond and left me Colin Firth :o)I somehow get the feeling he'd be good for the long haul, y'know?

In real life, though, I'm not ready to say looks do or don't make the man...I've known handsome guys who are fantastic and those who are self-involved...and not so attractive guys (I'm talking Steve Carrell types not Quasimodo here) who are hilarious, caring, and sexy. However, there does need to be something...like Brunonia's husband's blue eyes...to get us interested in the first place. After that? Who knows.

[Elaine Viets]

Fair enough, Avery. I've heard about those lists of 5. Johnny Depp is on mine, but it's a fantasy five.
And Kaye and Brunonia, laughter got us through 40 years. That and blue eyes and very cute ears.

[Harley]

What Ramona said.

What a morning I picked to sleep in. Goodness, Elaine! Goodness!

[Doc In CA]

I strongly suspect that if a guy is willing to help out with chores and child rearing, can cook, is pretty good in the sack, isn't stupid and can make a woman laugh, he will be forgiven for not being a warrior hunk. I also suspect that his wife will hang on to him because she knows other women would snap him up.

Rod: Diane Lane in a black teddy? You have just lowered the productivity of my day.

[gaylin in vancouver]

In the pursuit of intelligence, does anyone else watch Haven? I watch it because I can feel my intelligence climbing every time Eric Balfour takes his shirt off. Um, maybe that is my temperature rising . . .

[Deb]

Give me an intelligent, reliable, responsible guy who doesn't take himself seriously and isn't LOUD (can't stand that in a guy!)I don't particularly care what he looks like - except that I don't think I could go for the Blond Bond type. (I'm willing to give it a try!)

Interestingly, earlier in the week I was thinking how I've become more and more attracted to quieter and quieter men over the years! Don't know what that means...

[Elaine Viets]

Doc wrote, "I strongly suspect that if a guy is willing to help out with chores and child rearing, can cook, is pretty good in the sack, isn't stupid and can make a woman laugh, he will be forgiven for not being a warrior hunk. I also suspect that his wife will hang on to him because she knows other women would snap him up."
Well said, Doc. And much better than those "Is he the right man for you?" quizzes in women's magazines.

Gaylin, must watch "Haven." Strictly research.

[Nancy Pickard]

Some friends and I happen to love a particular singer who has a big jaw and a huge forehead and a terrible immune system!

Elaine, I love this post. You made me smile clear through it.

[Diana in STL]

Nice eye candy on a snowy winter's day. We have at least a foot in my neighborhood. My wonderful next door neighbor and I just finished shoveling the street and driveway. Hopefully the plows won't pack more in front of the driveway.

[Ramona]

Harley, remember that video I sent you long ago, the mini-movie with Daniel? I think today's a day to watch it again. And again.

[Elaine Viets]

Diana, glad to engender warm thoughts on a cold day. Take care in the cold, back bloggers. Snow shoveling is risky business.

[Deb]

I hate shoveling snow! If I could just get some big, muscular guy to do it for me...Not looking forward to the morning. So, I'm adding "quick to shovel snow - and to remove it from my car" to what I would consider to be the ideal man.

[Kate Gallison]

Young girls are attracted to "dangerous" guys, rock stars, dope fiends, fellows who require saving. Not till they grow up do they appreciate the charms of reliable men who can fix toilets, put food on the table, and display ordinary kindness. This is why the mothers of adolescent daughters have gray hair. In case you ever wondered.

[marie]

Just learned that my daughter will be delivery a little warrior in June.
Cannot wait to see the new little tyke.

[Elaine Viets]

Congratulations, Marie. What wonderful news.
Kate, all those men who chased women when they were young? They get daughters, so they can sit up nights and worry their girls are dating someone just like dear old dad.

[storyteller Mary]

Hurrah, Marie!! Spoil the little warrior rotten!

BTW, the wife of a former boss explained how she convinced her southern gent to change diapers. . . very sweetly said, "Oh, I'm sorry dear. You see, I don't enjoy diapers either, but I do it for our daughter because I love her and want her to be happy and healthy. I thought you loved her as much as I do, but if you don't, that's alright . . . " She didn't say if she batted her eyelashes, but I'd be willing to bet she did . . .

[Cinema Dave]

Next week, can you put up a picture of Raquel Welch?

[marie]

Thanks for the congrats, Elaine and storyteller Mary.
I have hopes form him becoming a sensitive hunk who will do dishes, wash windows and yes, must love dogs.

[Doc In CA]

Ummm, you ladies are aware that Mr, Craig will be starring in "Cowboys & Aliens" this July, right?

[Reine]

One of our daughters found an article about the attractiveness of nerds. It had a questionnaire to put your guy to the nerd test. She said she was really upset, because Steve hit "... super nerd level," and Dad is not a nerd!" She wanted me to go over the items with her.
Occupation: rocket scientist.
Loves to play with slide rule even though obsolete: Yes.
Keeps an abacus on his desk: yes.
Wears a pocket protector: Yes.
It's plastic: Yes.
It is split across the bottom: yes.
Has ink stains in his pants pocket: yes.