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December 18, 2010

In which I am really a boring blogger...

By Cornelia Read

Hola, chiquitas, mwah mwah... I suddenly find that I have to drive about eight hours today to get to a second cousin's funeral in New Jersey. She was really lovely, so I'm happy to go, but not really feeling the blog thing right now--please excuse me. (Especially since I got a ticket last night for driving 92 in a 65, so I guess I'm going the speed limit the whole way down to Cape May. Ho hum. Cute cop, though.)


What would you all like for Xmas, did you get for Chanukah, or Solstice-y stuff? Did you have latkes? Do you have a good cookie recipe? What should my resolution for 2011 be? What will yours be?

And my daughter got into Barnard, early decision. Plus we got awesome financial aid. Excellent time to be a broke single mom with a deadbeat wusband....

Merry everything to all, and to all a good night,






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Cornelia, I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin... more important to be there than here.

Congratulations to your daughter. Barnard + Awesome Financial Aid = FANTASTIC!

Your New Year resolution: More nookie.
My New Year resolution: Lots more nookie.

IB: P. 168

PS: I did that Lacoste alligator thing to my leg braces a few years ago. :)

So sorry for your loss. Safe journey.

Thanks so much for posting two of my favorite holiday songs!

Cornelia, here's a holiday video for you: "Centraal Station Antwerpen gaat uit zijn dak!"

Soooo, am I reading correctly between the lines that maybe you'd like the cute cop for Christmas?

Ramona, if she married while her daughter was in Barnard, the financial aid would be jeopardized. So she doesn't want to *marry* the cute cop. Finding one in her stocking wouldn't be turned down, I suspect. Or one simply *wearing* a stocking, perhaps . . . .

Where is that picture of Slash wearing nothing but a sock when you need it??

Did I say anything about "marry" up in there? No, I did not. But now you have me thinking about a cute cop wearing a holiday stocking.

I miss Rita. You know she would fly in here and say something hilarious right about now.

No cute cops for me thank you, although I do know a few.

My house has four new Barbies, a new American Girl doll and a new robe and two new books for Daddy. Alas, neither book is by a TLC author. DIRTY SEXY POLITICS and BONK.

Sorry for your loss.

Cornelia, I thought you'd still be lying on the wharf, flopping helplessly around like an exhausted carp and gasping after finishing your book. But no, you're pedal to the metal! Way to recover, girl. Way to catch a cop! I see a mystery series coming out of this in which our hilarious horny heroine meets men in each new book: Catch a Cop, Catch a Fireman, Catch a Time-Warner Rep. . .

My darling baby boy turned 27 last week and he caught a jacket, a sweater, and a gift certificate to a salad bar. A salad bar? Boys have changed.

Boy, they have, Nancy! lol

Cornelia, safe travels, and WOOT!! for your daughter's educational coup!!

Your 2011 resolution should definitely be no more moving violations, since it will make your car insurance soar, especially with young drivers on the policy.

I'm still working on mine. Maybe stop giving so much advice? :-)

We've all been there, Cornelia. Too much to do, not enough time and then life -- or in this case, death -- gets in the way and everything stops. I'm sorry about your cousin, but maybe you'll get to see some favorite relatives you otherwise might not have during the holidays. (Weddings and funerals.) Do drive carefully.

Yes, drive carefully, Cornelia!

All I want for Christmas -- and I'm sorry to sound sappy -- is the serenity to really enjoy my kids, even when there is Bad Behavior At The Mall, and to stop and smell the gingerbread/eggnog/gløg/Christmas calamari and to sit down and actually watch the Grinch movie and to read every single card sent me by people I haven't seen in decades and to even enjoy wrapping the unwieldy, the unwrappable, the Needs Assembly.

As opposed to running around like a chicken with her head cut off, screaming, "how can there be only one week until Christmas?!?!?"

And if a good-looking cop shows up in my life (without a traffic ticket in his hand, please) I plan to jump him.

Congrats on the college!
And, yes, it's whatever for the season!

Go for it, Harley. Including the cop-jumping. :-)

Harley! And everybody else who has to wrap gifts! Have you seen this amazing vid of a Japanese gift-wrapping technique? One piece of tape!


Twenty-five seconds!! I think I like that method!!
Cornelia, such a mixture of good and sad news . . you seem to be balancing and surviving . . do take care! Speeding tickets are so easy to fall into; I blame the smooth, quiet engines and suspensions -- it just doesn't feel all that fast.
I'll see family Christmas Eve, teach aqua-aerobics MWF, and . . . whatever else I feel like, I guess. Wishing you all much happiness, however you decide to pursue it.

Sorry to hear of your loss, Cornelia, but the Barnard + rockin' financial aid is great news.

What do I want for Xmas? The same thing I always want: an extremely large pile of hundred dollar bills bound up in 10K bundles, plus all of the villainous scumbags on Earth sent to Mars (where they would provide valuable resources for later terraforming operations).

Drive safely Cornelia, crazy out there. I'm sorry for your loss.

At the top of my Christmas list is a finished first draft. If Santa can help with that, I have cookies and plan to bake more.

Awesome news about Barnard - you must be very proud!

Dear Santa,
1 cute policeman for Harley
1 cute policeman or detective for Cornelia
and lord give me enough red ribbon to tie them up in, er wrap them in and ship them... And cookies! WANT COOKIES!!!


Sorry for your loss, Miss C. Your cousin sounded lovely. And wonderful news about Barnard and the funds to send superdaughter to school of her dreams. She will go far...

PS: Santa please supply a lump of coal or a smack upside the head for Cornelia's ex...

Cornelia, sorry for your loss.
The Barnard news is sensational.
I already have enough but for Christmas one of those Princess Diana knock off sapphire engagement rings from QVC would be nice..o.k. so I am cheesy but happy.
Godspeed and do not speed.
Happy Christmas and Happy Holidays.

Awww, Cornelia: the cop who stole Christmas! I got a $231 ticket ($288 if I attend traffic school, not counting the cost of traffic school--WTF?) for rolling slowly through a stop sign after a long series of cars in front of me stopped, one by one, so firmly, so precisely, and for so long, that I was about to tear my hair out as I was late for a day-after-Thanksgiving dinner. There are words for scheming, devious, nefarious, unprincipled, ambushing, quota-meeting, heartless, Christmas-money-stealing law enforcement officers, but none printable come to mind just now. Rita knew a few, I'm sure.

Having said that, 92 is a wee bit swift in a 65 zone, but it happens all the time in SoCal, so who am I to cast stones. Be safe on your drive.

I'm sorry for your loss, but proud of your girl. As for the wusband (great word!), maybe this will be the year that some holiday miracle clunks him on the head and he steps up to take his responsibilities going forward. Here's hoping.

Harley: if that handsome, principled, happy cop shows up on your front porch, serve him some eggnog and call me--I'll babysit, and it will only take me about 45 min. to get over there, I think.

Oh, and yes, Cornelia, we love you, so do please slow down. I got stopped once for going 90mph down Cajon Pass. But I didn't get a ticket so it doesn't count. I was young cute and really stupid. So was the cop, apparently.

Nancy, great gift-wrapping video... just in time! Thanks :)

Please take care, sorry for the loss of your aunt, and so happy for your daughter. That's quite an achievement. Drive safe, and go to a Policeman's ball or something.
Nancy-now I'm going to experiment with that wrapping method. Ha! I see a crumpled blob in my future.
Happy holidays, everyone.

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