Resolving to Resolve

 
 
HAPPY NEW YEAR! (First notice.) But never too soon to start planning your resolutions. So today the three-H's-- Harley, Hank and Heather-- are delighted to get you thinking about what you might be thinking about resolving as the fireworks start on New Year's Eve.

We decided to pick topics that might apply to all of us! So:

 

 **NO MORE:

Harley: Substandard chocolate.

 Hank: Shoe sprees. What can I say. And no more obsessive email checking. Ah, wait. I may save that resolution for next year.

 Heather: No more yeses until I check what I've already said yes to! Double-booked one time too many this year; yes must become, Sounds great, just let me check . . . . 

 

**OUT OUT OUT:

 Harley:  All the baking stuff (Star of David springform pans, e.g.) for items I will never get around to baking in this lifetime. I may even toss out the sewing machine that I was so misguided as to buy 2 years ago and HAVE NEVER ONCE USED.

Hank: Yes, I promise, I'm going upstairs to the third floor closet, and gather all those clothes that I never never wear, and never will since the shoulder pads are bigger than Tom Brady's, and give them to, uh, some place. (Although who would actually want them? Maybe if I procrastinate longer, they'll turn into vintage, and I'll be rich. Hmmmm.)

Heather: Out . . . the T-shirts etc on the laundry room floor. As soon as I usually try to get rid of them, one of the kids will come over and say, oh, but that's my favorite shirt. Somehow, it migrates back to the laundry room floor. How does that happen? Anytime something was wrong, none of the five did it--so we blamed it on the invisible jerk. The kids grew up and moved out. The invisible jerk is still in residence. (That's really okay--need to blame someone when the remote control disappears and I was the only one in the room!)

 

**GUILT FREE!

 Hank: I'm terrible about the telephone. Terrible. I really hate to talk on the phone. And now with caller ID, (we just got it,) it's even easier to avoid it. I always feel terrible about ignoring it. But this year--hey. I'm not gonna feel terrible about it. Why should I talk to someone at the time THEY want to talk? Especially fund-raising calls. Nope. Leave a message.

     Harley:Hank, I'm stealing yours. Phone-o-phobes, unite!

Heather: Doing things. Whatever. I'm all grown up; if I want to go--I'm going! No excuses to anyone. Hey, I always ask if others want to go to. But if they don't . . . . 

 

**FAMILY OBLIGATIONS

 Harley: I will let my children bake (see above, Star of David springform pan, e.g.) and cook and set the table with the "fancy stuff" and dress themselves in whatever get-up they like, unless it's a wedding or a funeral or they look like junior hookers. Full self-expression for everyone, even though it is very time-consuming.

 Hank: I love my Mom. I love my Dad. Okay, I don't talk with them enough. Okay. this year, I will. (Even if I have to do it on the phone.)

Heather: Oh, Hank! Wish I could talk to my mom or dad! I adore my family. They make everything in the world worthwhile. I am going to move forward with my work on ignoring Dennis when he's being a pain. How's that? 

 

**GOSSIP GIRL

 Hank: Gossip is sooo tempting. And yes, it's interesting. And sometimes, even instructive. But is it really ever valuable? Well, argh. Sometimes, I guess. But I'll try to resist. And try to be kind first.

 Harley: Gossip is okay if you're gossiping about someone whose politics you deplore. This is a little-known fact, but absolutely true. Check with your spiritual advisor.

Heather: Some gossip is good. Between friends. I want to believe I'm kind. But, sometimes, you can't help it. There's something that just drives you insane. (Okay, or someone!) Then, I think, it's better to gossip with a good friend then blow up at the person. You just have to be careful. Think high school. Gossip can be really cruel. So only good gossip!

 

**GUILTY PLEASURES

 Hank: Well, this is supposed to about giving up stuff. But I've got to tell you, I don't think I have enough guilty pleasures. I'm just saying. I'm going to scout for some, and go for it this year. That's my resolution.

Harley: Cookies for breakfast!

 Heather: I'm all into guilty pleasures!

 

** CLEANING UP!

Hank: The refrigerator. Why is it beyond me? And what is the gunk that gets in there, anyway?

Harley: The compost bin. I think I'm supposed to be raking it or shoveling it or something, but I'm terrified of it. Also the fish tanks. Can't they clean up after themselves? Or use the bathroom like the rest of us?

Heather: The entire house. I just don't have the talent. It is a talent. I clean, and it looks worse.

 

**MIND EXPANDING

 Hank: What if I watched something actually educational and mind-expanding on TV instead of Project Runway? How about that, huh? Or at least, in addition to Project Runway. 

 Harley: I have documentaries on DVD for research purposes. Do I watch them? No. It's as if the act of ordering them fufills some academic ambition. I'd be so brilliant if only I could catch up on my DVDs.

 Heather: A musical instrument. (I don't watch Project Runway, but I do watch really bad SciFi movies!) I own two pianos. Maybe I could learn to play one of them.

 

**FRIENDS

 Heather:  Cherish them.

 Harley: . . . are all you guys, and you make my day on a daily basis.

 Hank:  Ditto and ditto. Counting blessings, and you all are they. Them.  (Whichever it is, you are.)

 

**PLANNING AHEAD

 Heather: Yes, I'm planning to do so.

 Harley: Yes, I plan. For all the good it does me.

 Hank: Oh, yes, planning. I love planning. Very good at planning. It's the DOING that gets sticky. Do I need ANOTHER calendar? Maybe that's a good idea. Or maybe I should resolve to get an iphone.

 

**FOOD

 Heather: Eat fish. I've never seen a cow eat a cow--fish are cannibals! Horrible little creatures despite the charming crab in Little Mermaid. Nobody eat us? Oh, hell, yeah! the weak are gonners in two seconds!

Harley: Is anyone else living on caffeine and chocolate these days, or is it just me?

Hank: For it. I'm kind of a compulsively healthy eater (good news and bad news). Since Jonathan's heart thing (he's fine) my reslution is to make him compulsive, too. In the nicest of ways. Salmon, brown rice, salad. See, I love those things. And raspberries. Avocados. Real peanut butter. Apples.  
 Martinis. Just the healthy stuff.

 

**COFFEE OR TEA?

 Heather: No, no, no. Coffee and tea. Yes. People always want to know which you drink. I'm supposed to make a choice? I don't think so! I will continue to imbibe both with sheer pleasure. My dad was Scottish, my mother Irish; therefore, I honor tea! I am as American as apple pie--which really goes great with a cup of coffee. There will be no more expectation that you only drink one or the other.

 Harley: Coffee, coffee and coffee.

 Hank: Coffee. Lattes, almost every day, I fear. (Okay, that's a guilty pleasure!) And tea. Chamomile, every night. My resolution is to keep up the tradition.

 And Champagne for EVERYONE! Happy New Year (first notice) dear TLC'ers.

 SO--Pick a topic--and let us know your plans.  

((And who wants to read DRIVE TIME? I'll pick three commenters at random to get a free copy sent to you from Mystery Lovers Bookstore! (cf. the "friends" category.))

Comments

[Judith Bandsma]

Everybody seems to forget that the phone is there for YOUR convenience...not that of the person dialing your number.

I no longer make resolutions. That was my last one. I'm impossible at even trying to keep them so then I feel guilty. That's a waste of time so in 1978 I made the resolution for 1979 that I would make no resolutions.

That one I've kept. And am very proud of myself for doing so.

[Judith Bandsma]

Oh, and yes, I'd love to read Drive Time.

[William]

As Harley says, Coffee, Coffee, and More Coffee. Coffee is a Food Group for crissakes. Tea is good in an emergency, but I really never developed a taste for it. (Sorry, Heather).

Hank, your list of Healthy Eating included Martinis. Nothing more needs to be said....:)

[Cornelia Read]

Ah, healthy martinis. And not talking on the phone. I LOVE you guys! And coffee. I drink mine in a form which has been called "light sweet crude." Happy new year!

[Ramona]

Y'all are joking about this, right? If I start planning resolutions now, what the hell am I supposed to do between 11 o'clock and Midnight on New Year's Eve?

I guess Planning should be my topic, since you don't have Procrastination as an option.

Coffee all the way. Martinis, too. And I must be some kind of weirdo, because I love talking on the phone. I mean, is there any other thrill that matches getting a call and on the other end is a boy you like?

Not that boys call me anymore, LOL.

[Jerry House]

Coffee is a habit that I've tried to kick, but it keeps kicking back. I think I'd better resolve to quit something else that's bad for me, like poverty.

[nancy martin]

Oh, the phone. I so dislike the phone now. (Unless it's Ramona, and then I sit in my favorite chair with a big smile on my face.) It's a bad sign, though, I think. We're becoming more isolated, more anti-social. And yet I dread the phone. Maybe because I so rarely talk to people who make me smile?

A resolution? Who has time for that?? I guess my resolution must be to be more careful with my time.

[Hank Phillippi Ryan]

And the thing is, everyone has phones now. Sometimes, two or three. Landline, cellphone, iphone, skype thing or whatever. We phone-o-phobes are clearly in the monority--because now everyone walking down the street is talking on their phone. It kills me, because what did they do before they had a phone? Do THAT, I suggest.

Ramona, calls from boys. Sigh. I hardly got any. But later in life, there's nothing more hilarious (In retrospect) than the reasons you could make up why someone DIDN'T call. (YOur phone was broken, their phone was broken, they were sick, they were in a car accident, they were grounded, your line was busy...)

[Deb]

Like Judith, I don't make resolutions. I don't even remember if I ever did make resolutions. If I ever DO make a resolution, it would be to avoid people who tell me that I should make a resolution to do or not do something - but then that wouldn't even make any sense, would it? I'll stick with my custom of not making resolutions!

And I would LOVE to read Drive Time!!

[judy merrill larsen]

Coffee all morning, tea in the afternoon. Then, wine. I'm like a tri-athlete.

I'll also call my folks more often, not feel guilty about saying "no," and enjoy the friends and try to ignore the jerks (and if I can't then I'll gossip about the ones whose politics are deplorable. I love that, Harley!).

I also want to try to "unplug" more often--maybe take Sundays off . . .

[hank phllippi ryan]

Tri-athlete. Good one, Judy! That's an athletic regimen I can handle.

[Ramona]

Hank, I called my mom a while back and, instead of ringing, I heard this horrible beeping sound. WTF? It took me a second to realize it was a busy signal! I'd forgotten what that sounded like.

You forgot one excuse: My dog ate my phone. Happened to one of my son's friends.

I would like to change my statement to, I like to chat on my land line, in the privacy of my house. Not in the QVC on a ear thingee while I inflict the public with the boring details of my life.

[judy merrill larsen]

Oh, yeah, I'd love to read DRIVE TIME, too.

And Ramona, yes, that's a great excuse. My dog has eaten two cell phone. So far.

[Paulina]

No coffee but tea, I’m even drinking one while writing this. I drink also Coke to get awake. And chocolate, ALWAYS. Cannot help myself.

I like to have a phone, not necessary a fancy one. I feel like naked without a phone and a watch.

But I don’t like to be woken up by the phone, I always switch off the mobile and have a stationary quite far from my bed-room to be sure not to hear it ringing. Although sometimes it can be useful. Last Saturday we had our piano delivered. Actually the delivery was supposed to take place on Tuesday but the store mixed up the days and sent us the delivery guys by 7.30 a.m!
As my girls had friends who stayed over, my husband and I moved to the guest room and from there we heard the phone which does the intercom at the same time (maybe I should take a better care of my guests…). If the phone had not been there, I wonder what the piano guys would have said about us.

[KarinNH]

I love, love, love making resolutions.

Several years ago, I had a co-worker who could suck the joy out of everything. One day, she was talking about her resolutions, all dreary and self-punishing. Blergh!

In a contrarian mood, I made two: eat more chocolate and buy more shoes. It was a glorious year.

Now, resolutions have to add something to my life, not subtract--no more it needs to be painful to be good attitude. I can't wait to make them!

[Kathy Reschini Sweeney]

You guys are killing me! I haven't even wrapped one present yet - I cannot possibly be expected to resolve anything!

If I had superpowers, I would zap every person who is on the phone while driving. Half these dolts are also using their other hand for coffee, radio, make-up or whatnot.

[Harley]

Kathy, your comment has given me an idea. I wonder if it's possible to wrap presents while driving? This could be the answer to several of my holiday problems this week!

[Nancy Pickard]

You guys are pretty adorable. Or, pretty AND adorable. I love you.

Jerry House, lol.

KarinNH, I love your system, hence:
Be it resolved: caramel apples covered with peanut chips are my favorite dessert and I will eat them as guiltlessly as fish eat fish.

Be it resolved: it takes me two years to write these novels I'm writing, so I will relax and spread out and take the two damn years (just like Brunonia does, Mom!) without worrying (as much) about it. (Note to self: do try to remember Jerry's point about poverty.)

Be it resolved: Somebody has to be the scientific control group that doesn't exercise--to test the efficacy of exercise. I'll do it. I wonder if I can get paid for this.

Be it resolved: I love downloading ebooks. Will buy ebooks like Karin buys shoes. (Note to self: PLEASE remember Jerry's point about poverty.)

This is fun. I could go on.

[Karen in Ohio]

Hank, I'm detecting a little ambivalence with some of your resolutions, lol.

For many years I made resolutions, and mostly broke them within a few days; some within a few minutes. Sigh. Until this year. On January 3rd, 2010, Sarah's blog was on resolutions, and during the blog discussion several of us decided to start eating healthier, exercising more, and corresponding daily to support one another. I've lost 13 pounds, but some of the group have lost way more. And even better, we are still corresponding daily with one another, and have all gotten to be great off-blog pals.

No need to add me to the Drive Time list, since I've not only read it, but I have had two copies! (Gave one to my mother, who is now also a fan.)

Judy, I may also be a triathlete. Who knew you could be one and not even know it? LOL

[Karen in Ohio]

Harley, don't get rid of the sewing machine! You have two daughters, right? And a son who is intellectually curious? Sewing is a very fun activity for kids, and they might even learn a useful life skill. Teach them to use it, and let them make stuff to their hearts' content.

I taught sewing for a number of years, so if you need any tips, let me know. Kids LOVE to sew, especially on machines.

[Alan P.]

I put some down last week for family, but there are a few more.

Clear the clutter. There are boxes from the '90s that need to go. There are baby toys that need new babies (not from me, two is my limit.) There is a large stack of large pants that need to go.

A new bicycle for me. I miss riding. I may have to see if the new lighter Al can push the gears on my current ride or if it is time to go with an 18 speed.

Give a shot at nanowrimo. A few people have suggested I write some of my stories, that would be the chance. It may be cheating, but the outline is starting now.

Read TLC every morning. That one should be easy.

[Hank Phillippi Ryan]

I resolve to take the money I save by getting a manicure and pedicure at the same time and use that for shoes. Hence, FREE SHOES!

Oh, plus the money I save on free checking. (Huh? YOu mean there's no real free checking?)

[Hank Phillippi Ryan]

KarinNH, yeah, the whole: "I was bad and now I'll be better" resolutions leave a lot to be desired.

May we all resolve to have more fun. That's a good thing, right? I mean, if not now, when?

[marie]

So many things to work on..I would love to expand my cooking skills. The Food Network and Martha Stewart make it look so easy.
Rearranging my room of books, knitting supplies is done twice a year.
I have to agree with coffee, coffee, coffee.
I resolve to be more grateful and put my money where my mouth is so to speak. I must act on my dreams not just think about accomplishments.
Thanks to the three "H"'s. I love this blog.

[Doc In CA]

I don't make resolutions because I wouldn't keep them anyway. Much better to take the resolution making time and use it to drink some Guinness.

In the Coffee VS Tea debate, I have to say I cannot stand the taste of coffee, but I loves me my tea. I drink my tea very strong. How strong? Well, if it was any stronger it would have green skin, be wearing purple pants and yelling "Hulk SMASH!"

Oy, I am such a geek.

[Hank Phillippi Ryan]

AlanP--starting Nanowrimo early is NOT cheating. Writing is good.

And I think it's hilarious that so far, we're hardly even talking about writing-as-resolution. Maybe we've already resolved. I sure have.

[storyteller Mary]

Must . . . have . . . COFFEE and chocolate. I'm not such a nice person without them. I did survive for the few years when I could have no caffeine at all, but I'm not sure I would call it living. My sewing machine stays. It doesn't get used that often, but when it does, it's important. (When there was nowhere to buy latex-free underwear, it was essential!)
I share the aversion to phones. I have a few friends and one niece to whom I will speak at length at their convenience because I really want to hear from them. OTOH, calls that defy the Missouri "No Call" list may receive a response from the less-nice side of my personality, especially if they pretend not to understand the no-call concept . . .
Alan, congratulations on the "too big" clothes -- an achievement to be admired and perhaps emulated.
Want a copy of DRIVE TIME?? well, of course!!!!

[marie]

Can coffee and tea lovers coexist in the same household. Oh, yes they can.
DH is a tea drinker..I mean umpteen cups a day.
Of course, I love my coffee.
If we accidentally pick up the wrong beverage we spit it out and curse the other.
Opposites attract, n'est pas?

[Phyllis in Champaign]

What an enjoyable beginning to my day!

Resolved: to become as good a tri-athlete as Judy. I already love coffee, tea, and wine, so all I really need to do is better organize my daily "practice" for imbibing each.

Resolved: to stop feeling guilty about gossiping about my super-conservative, vindictive, super-religious sister-in-law--per Harley's advice.

Resolved: to better appreciate good friends, whether online, on the phone, or in person--and tell them so.

[Kellee]

This coming year my goal will include vacationing more. I want to see more of the United States. Last year was Wyoming. This year was Neveda and Lake Tahoe. Next year, maybe Arkansas? Or Washington? I know I work hard and I have decided I am not waiting until "someday" anymore.
And Drive Time was wonderful. How wonderful of you to share it it with others this holiday season.

[marie]

My super duper sewing machine awaits me each day.
I pay homage to it because it beckons me to be more computer savy and create wonderful textile quilts and clothing. If you believe this I have a piece of the Brooklyn Bridge that I can offer at a very cheap price.

[Phyllis in Champaign]

Kellee,

As a former Arkansan, I highly recommend Arkansas for a vacation trip. Check out Blanchard Springs Caves, Hot Springs National Park, and the city of Eureka Springs.

Don't take my word for these recommendations: google them.

[marie]

Now when I go to my old ruled notebooks which state the date, the resolution to eat better and exercise more I sometimes feel that my life is "A Boulevard of Broken Dreams."
However, I have hope because now my ruled notebooks have the promise of writing the great American novel.
I resolve to fill these pages with the greatest words put on paper.
At least it gets me off the health kick resolutions.
Life can only get better.

[Deb]

So, earlier today I said I don't make New Year's resolutions. However, I DO make resolutions on and off throughout the year as different situations arise. Others here have mentioned New Year's resolutions to have more fun. That is something that I tell myself every couple of months: you MUST try to set aside time/money for just plain "fun". It's very difficult for me to carry out, though - the CT Yankee in me worries that resolving to have fun just might be a bit too frivolous! I'm making a little bit of headway with that, though: I now put aside a few dollars a week in my "fun" account, and I try not to let it accumulate too much. If it does, it means I'm not taking time for fun!

[lil Gluckstern]

The only resolutions I keep are the ones where I promise to do things I'm already doing, and clean out years of stuff, read all my books on my tbr bookcase, (never happen), continue to enjoy you all every morning-Alan said that. Happy dash to the finish line. I already have Drive Time.

[peach]

2011 Resolutions/Goals:
1. Be more patient with my mother.
2. Ride my new bicycle (had it since May and have only been on it around 10 times.
3. Go on a diet (and not the seefood diet)

We already have two copies of Drive Time, but if I win I will give it to my local library.

[Harley]

Oh, yes, Karen, the Family Fun on the Sewing Machine is a wonderful thing until you hit the (forgive me) snag -- and then the kids realize it's harder than it looks, it's more work to rip out stitches than to stitch them in the first place, and that cleaning up is really no fun, but neither is stepping on pins if you opt not to clean up.

A word of advice for any aspiring actors: Do not tell anyone you can sew. You'll never get cast in a show, you'll get stuck in the Costume Shop, because actors are a dime a dozen, but accomplished seamstresses are worth their weight in gold. I discovered this early on, and it's possibly the most meaningful lesson I ever learned about show business.

[Karen in Ohio]

Harley, give them easy projects, don't expect their skills to equal yours (and maybe rip stitches for them for awhile, if THEY decide it doesn't look all that great), and for heaven's sake buy a magnetic pincushion. (Kids LOVE those.)

Dancers who sew have the same problem, I understand.

[gaylin in vancouver]

I love having a sewing machine. Being kind of frugal and being able to repair or alter clothing is wonderful.

I have about 3 coffees a year . . . I love coffee, my heart rate does NOT like caffeine. I don't drink black or green tea for the same reason. I do like hot chocolate. I am really happy that dark chocolate does not have enough caffeine in it to cause me problems!!

I don't do resolutions, I think they are like planning to feel guilty.

[Hank Phillippi Ryan]

I love to sew! ANd I wish I had a sewing machine. But Harley, you waould not want me to make costumes, unless everyone is dressing up as pillow cases.

[Hank Phillippi Ryan]

Kellee! Thank you!! xoxo

[Reine]

Kellee and Phyllis, I loved Eureka Springs. My favorite English professor always had wonderful stories about growing up in Eureka Springs. One year I was planning the family cross-country road trip and decided to go there. It was so beautiful! We all had a fantastic time seeing a part of the country we'd never been before.

[Rochelle Staab]

This was fun. I love resolutions!
At the top of my list for 2011 is FOCUS (not the Ford. Mental focus.) No more afternoon Internet distractions (like e-mail breaks) while I'm writing.
More guilty pleasures, please. Decaf mochas daily!
And read more books.
Laugh more. Please!
Travel more.

No need to put me on the DRIVE TIME list, Hank - read it, loved it, kept it, recommend it!!!!

[Phyllis in Champaign]

Deb--your dollars for fun account reminded me of what my psychologist told me back in the mid-1990s when I was recovering from depression. He told me that in the future, I had a choice to keep paying him my $20 copayment per week OR just start doing things that made me happy. He suggested I look at bouquets of flowers, or chocolate, or books, or theater tickets, or whatever, and instead of saying to myself, "No, I can't afford it, don't deserve it." Ask, "Do this for me or continue to see Dr. Smith?" Smart man!

[Heather Graham]

How in God's name did we forget procrastination? Or, how did I forget it?

My lord, there is nothing that I'm better at!

[Heather Graham]

On the strong tea, my grandmother's comment was always my favorite--I'll be havin' me tea strong enoug to pick itself and walk to me, straight across the table!"

[Diana in STL]

My plan is to continue to clear out "stuff". I had to start the process so the plumber & electrician would have room to work on my summer basement renovation/new bath project - now if I can just keep it going and not lapse back into long-held packrat habits.

Fun stuff - I plan to catch up on my TBR pile (which includes Drive Time)and build a new TV/storage cabinet for the spare bedroom and a bookcase for the basement.

I dusted off my sewing machine to make cushion covers to use in the above mentioned basement reno project (3 down 3 to go). Now I remember why I quit sewing, I'm a better carpenter/furniture builder than seamstress. At least I didn't swallow any pins or run a needle through my finger.

[storyteller Mary]

Harley, I've been having the "sewing/actress" experience, only it's "newsletter, email mavin/storyteller" for me. I'm stepping away from the "nice girl who emails information for us" role for a while as the storytelling is the part I love . . .

[Kaye Barley]

Oh, this is too fun! I'm loving this post and all the comments.

I love to make resolutions. And I adore breaking them.

Coffee & Chocolate. My resolution is to drink more coffee, eat more chocolate and not feel guilty.

The Phone. My resolution is to continue hating the phone and refusing to answer it as often as I can get away with. And to King Fu Chop Chop the next person who bumps their grocery cart into me while they're talking on their cell phone in the damned grocery store. WTF is that all about?!

Hank's closet. My resolution is to drive up there and take all those clothes off her hands. Bless my heart!

This is fun!

[gaylin in vancouver]

I think I will resolve to show appreciation where and when it is due.

[Hank Phillippi Ryan]

Kaye!Perfect! (Really, you are such a good pal...) Come on over--love to see you!

[Reine]

I wanted to change careers. Since I was unqualified to do anything different from counseling/psychotherapy I developed a program in medical education and practical theology. Shortly thereafter I acquired an additional disability - mine are legion, if not legendary - and had to take leave, most likely permanent, until I reach my employer's conditions for retirement. I suppose that sounds ugly, and maybe it was for awhile. But! I've come out of it all pretty well, and I am really happy. I have my Steve, my service dog Kendall, family everywhere, and P-Wog close by. I have online friends. I read, write, and I never have to do SAS programming ever again. What more could a girl want?

[Reine]

Well, apparently this girl could want the ability to post her fucking comment on the right blog! Well... one little side effects of one of my disabilities.