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May 06, 2010

Nana's Wake-up Call

Nana's Wake-up Call

by Nancy Go to fullsize image

Last weekend, I went to my grandson's swimming class. It was an education in a way I totally didn't expect.

But first: Years ago, I was making dinner in the kitchen while my very young daughters played a game of jumping from the staircase to the entry hall below.  They were two and four, respectively, and they were jumping from the second step.  Nothing too dangerous, right? But as I put the macaroni on to boil, I heard a thump and a shriek of pain. I went to discover my younger daughter writhing in agony and my older daughter looking guilty.

A trip to the hospital showed no damage, but little Sarah wept for two days--including the hour of swim class at the Y, which she usually loved.  Usually, she was a little fish--diving underwater and splashing around so adorably that other parents videotaped her antics. But after the class where she did nothing but cry I finally decided we'd better go back to the hospital for more X-rays, which showed that she had, indeed, broken her leg.  The leg I'd insisted she walk on for two days. 

Bad Mommy.

During my grandson Bobby's swim class, I sat in the bleachers with other doting grandparents and the partners of the moms and dads who were splashing in the pool with children.  A few pictures were snapped, of course. That's what you do at swim class if you're not soaking wet.--You take photos.

But I witnessed what I gather is a New Thing.

The manager of the pool came storming over and demanded that everyone STOP TAKING PICTURES IMMEDIATELY.  And the nice lady who was filming a video was tossed out of the pool area entirely.

Why?  I asked my daughter Cassie (the one who had looked guilty, because she felt she had been instigating the jumping-off-the-stairs game) who was sitting calmly beside me, unsurprised by the incident.

Turns out, the pool management fears that photos are taken of kids in bathing suits for the nefarious purpose of. . . I can barely type this . . . child pornography.

Does this seem overly suspicious to you?  Or is it life in the new century?  I was appalled, but apparently pictures of pre-teens in bathing suits are a hot commodity in the kiddie porn market, which is so sick that---okay, nevermind. I could rant for hours, but you feel the same way, I'm pretty sure, so I'll skip the screaming.

(Does the term "kiddie porn" make it sound less horrible?  Maybe so. If that's the case, I retract the phrase.)

After swim class, my daughter's wise and witty young friend Sasha joined us for a Derby party, and she pointed out some little baby socks designed to look as if the infant is wearing high heels. Have you seen these?

Go to fullsize image

It's Sasha's observation that even mothers are sexualizing their own kids. Bathing suits for little girls, in particular, are practically out of the Victoria's Secret catalog. This one? I don't think you're going to get a Huggies diaper under it.

Cassie says  that a lot of products sold for babies these days--high chairs, car seats, strollers, etc--use the advertising ploy that your child will die if you don't buy their particular product.

By extension, Sasha asked, "When are parents going to realize that they're making their kid into a target for pedophiles when they put those skimpy bikinis on little Ashley?"

Which totally creeped me out.

I have been warned to stop posting pictures of Bobby here and on Facebook for fear an evildoer might stalk him.

Which is so disappointing, because I'm a completely ga-ga grandmother.

DSC00659

Do you think this photo could possibly be construed as pornographic?

Or don't I want to know the answer?

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First of all, there is no way in you-know- where (out of consideration for Bobby's tiny ears) that your grandson is pornographic. Second, child pornography is indeed big business, but unfortunately the children photographed are in most cases either captive, drugged, abused or all three. I say in most cases because we have this great pic of Cath in the tub, posing with bubbles in her tiny hand...cute! Instead of prohibiting photos of kids taking swimming lessons, perhaps the pool could screen the people attending, you know, like relatives only. Little ones have enough going on, and they like to see pictures of themselves too!
It occurs to me we send the wrong messages about some things, good messages about others, and no messages about things we need to. Case in point: our music seller Sweeney was outside having a cigarette on her break. A girl of no more than 6 or 7 walked up to her and said " You should quit smoking. It's bad for you." Sweeney replied, "You shouldn't talk to strangers." The little looked at her and said "Why?" Sweeney again: "Because it's dangerous. I could be a kidnapper."
Little girl: "You don't look like a kidnapper."
Sweeney told me she was tempted to say "Kidnappers don't look like kidnappers" but wasn't sure the girl would understand what she meant. Now THAT is something scary.
I hope this makes sense...I'm tired and ready to call it a night :o)

It occurs to me that most parents have bath tub pictures of their kids, certainly not porn. I must have gotten too much chlorine in my system at the pool!

Nancy, its not usually the clothing or the pose of the child in the picture...its simply that it is a child. Could be in a furry, heavy winter coat. As long as that sweet face is visible, the pervs are off and running.

I have a picture of Dear Hubby & Dear Daughter (age 3) laying on the couch in their tighty whities. We were poor & didn't have the a/c running on a really hot summer evening and we all were in our underwear trying to stay cool. It was such a cute picture of the two of them, but I have been told that it is pornography.

I took it out of the album, but I can't bear to destroy it. Its just a brief moment that I loved.

Bunch of damn perverts.

Oh, Nancy, your story of your daughter's injury and the initial misdiagnosis and her resultant pain just is so REAL--how many parents have stories very similar, including my own parents who ruefully expressed gratitude that we survived our childhood adventures and their occasional miscomprehension of injuries, complaints, or wants/needs.
The adorable Bobby? Porn? Not hardly. I'm sad that we can't just share everything that occurs to us as freely as we wish, wherever we wish; but meanwhile, I'm worried that my sweet niece is posting not only photos of her brand new daughter on FB, but has also revealed her full address and phone number on the same page--yikes!
We can hold young adults responsible for the way that they do or don't advertise their own sexuality and availability in the world, but for the toddlers and pre-teens of the world, their parents and adult community gotta look out for them. Just sayin'.

Pam, I agree, the content of the photo isn't the porn when it comes to little ones, but the eye of the beholder. There's a really ordinary photo of me at age 10 or 11, standing proudly next to my new bicycle in my new (and quite ordinarily conservative) school clothes--I'm guessing that 99% of viewers would say it was just a photo of a kid on the first day of school. But, some years later, I discovered that for one twisted individual, it was a sexy turn on. Ickh. But, I think we need to spend more time and energy on actually caring for and educating our children so that they are healthy and safe in the world than we spend on NOT taking photos of them. The bike/new clothes photo is one of the only ones I have of myself at that age, and I'm glad I have it, regardless of how creepy the creep who porn-ified it was.

Since anything you can imagine (and a whole lot of stuff you wouldn't want to imagine) will get somebody hot & bothered, it's pretty pointless to worry about that picture of little Sally in the kiddie pool or Dad and the kids in their underwear or little Jimmy at age 2 in a bubble bath or Cousin Elmo naked on a donkey while holding a duck. Ok, maybe that last one is cause for alarm.

What I mean is, somewhere out there is a person spanking their monkey looking at a picture of Richard Nixon, because for every perv, there is an object of lust. You just have to hope you never find out who might be using your picture.

As for the sexualizing of little kids by the fashion industry, well, that's just plain sick. But then, the whole fashion industry is prety damned strange anyway.

And Bobby is not porn. He does, however, look like a happy little rascal.

I have two FaceBook pages; one is open to the public and the other has pictures of my grandkids.

If you really want to scare the heck out of yourself go to one of those places that list registered sex offenders and see how many are within walking distance. The number was approaching three digits in my grandchildren’s zip code.

Bobby is adorable, and I think it's a shame we can no longer humiliate our children by displaying the classic baby lying on bed with naked butt in the air photo on the family piano.

However. Please allow me to climb upon the soapbox for a few.

One of the most heinous cases of child abuse in American history broke in Delaware a few months ago. A small town pediatrician is charged with 529 counts of raping or sexually abusing more than 103 children over an 11 year period. He videotaped the abuse in the basement of his medical clinic. Some victims were as young as three months. How, you wonder, did he have the time and opportunity to abuse so many children, and so young? He would tell his patients' parents that he needed to do a private exam, or he wanted to give the child candy for being good. So parents let him take their child to another room, alone. Because he was the doctor, a person in a position of trust.

That's only half the story. At the same time, a writer friend of mine entered a local fiction contest. The prize was publication in a regional magazine. His story was about a young girl in foster care, and the foster dad was a creep. It focused on a day at the beach, and the 12-year-old girl innocently running around in a swimsuit. It was subtle, but the reader knew that this child's life was in imminent danger from this foster parent, a person in a position of trust.

It was an excellent story, but after the pedophile story broke, the magazine refused to run it without some changes. Why? Because IT WOULD BE WRONG TO UPSET READERS WITH THIS KIND OF STORY.

This made/makes me furious. What is the purpose of art, of writing and having a voice, if you can't use it to address the horrors of life as well as the joys?

I could hold forth on THIS one for the rest of the month, but I'm going to behave myself. More or less.

The scenario Nancy describes does happen, but odds are similar to one being struck by lightning; it happens, but not as often as people think. Unfortunately, the manager of the swim class is most likely afraid of being sued if there was an issue. (I'd rather believe that one than consider the concept of prohibiting pictures = Warrior on CP. It's making me very nervous how many self-styled warriors are out there these days.)

Vigilantism in any form scares me, and scares me badly. Cyber-Vigilantes are quite frightening, and Real Life "Enforcers" terrify me.

HRH Bobby has that "Make My Day" Look in his eyes already, Nancy....:)

Caution is a good thing, but the world seems to be sliding into abject paranoia these days, and that's not so good....

William, I thought about you as I wrote this and didn't want to upset. As usual, you come out with kindly worded caution. You're my hero.

As for the doctor and the short story, Ramona--I wonder if the Bible ought to be edited now, so as not to disturb readers with the tale?

Doc--I love the word "rascal." Yes, indeed!

Maryann, your friend Sweeney is a model fo self-restraint.

Pam---don't get rid of that picture. I'm with you.--It's a treasured memory.

And Laraine? Your bikes tory jsut gave me an idea for a short story. Wow.

Here I am, hijacking my own blog, but have you all seen this story of the richest mothers in the world?
http://finance.yahoo.com/career-work/article/109462/worlds-richest-moms?mod=career-leadership

Nancy: Number one that list is one of the nicest people you would ever want to meet. She still lives out in Jackson Hole where her husband died in an ultra light plane crash a few years ago. Drives a beat up old truck and wears blue jeans more often than designer stuff.

My son posts pictures of his kid on his Facebook page, but restricts access. Although I think MY grandson is the cutest kid, I wouldn't put pictures of him up anywhere. Not because they might be used for porn (never thought of that, and he's barely 2), but for privacy.

I remember playing dress-up, but there weren't any 'grownup' type clothes for kids when I was young. Kids grow up too fast as it is.

There are some things you cannot stop. Pedophiles will find images that they enjoy. It is a need. Consider that last month a 97 year old pedophile for violating his parole.

There other thing you cannot stop is "do gooders" who see the minuscule evil as a universal threat. Parent magazines are the worst offenders. I use the lightning therory. Lightning kills more than 1500 people in the US each year. Do you: turn off and unplug appliances in storms; not use the telephone or cell phone; stay indoors and away from windows? Me neither. Venetian blind cords kill less than 3 children a year. They are BANNNED. Sweat shirt drawstrings killed less than 2 children a year. BANNED.

At the Y where princess one has taken lessons since she was 18 months old and princess two since 6 months old, allows pictures. No one has ever said boo. Do I worry about my daughters, hell yes.

Ah, Pros-ti-tot wear. Besides the two different stores selling scratch and sniff underwear for the under ten crowd (I am not making it up. One store became the star of an Elaine Viets article) and the size 4 french cut green lame panties at JC Penny's, Mr. TypePad would explode with the examples. And no, I don't think the "The hell with the milk, where is the beer?" shirts on little boys are any better.

Rather than fill 45 pages with a rant, I will say this: CP is an abomination, and what makes it worse is that, in most cases, there are no 'strangers' involved. So not taking photos of your own kids won't make a damn bit of difference - the evil that stalks kids usually has many opportunities to see them in person.

Also - and this has become my standard response when dealing with kid jep, kids growing up, kids leaving home, etc.: I don't want to talk about it.

I'm a longtime lurker here, and we have a 14 month-old daughter and will have another baby in a mere 7 weeks (that sounded better on paper, by the way...yikes!).

We were "older" first time parents, not so caught up in the facebook, YouTube, "must post my life in all its gaudy glory" thing, and there has been ridiculous pressure to post pictures of our daughter on various plaaces on Internet "because it would be so much eeeeeeeasier..." for other people.

We don't have facebook accounts (or even a restricted photo site on Shutterfly...) because we really don't want her out in the Internet ether (I hadn't thought about it in a pornography way -though now I will; yeesh!- but just for privacy's sake).

I mail (actual mail!) pictures (actual pictures!) to relatives and email a few now and again to selected friends. (Now, of course, I'm hoping no one is spanking their monkey -as Doc so eloquently put it- while checking out my infant daughter. Double yeesh!)

As far as clothing and high heeled baby socks which, fyi, don't look any easier to walk or crawl around in than the real things, it has been a challenge to keep our daughter in clothes that I feel are appropriate as opposed to looking like a hoochie mama. She's a year old!! She doesn't need a halter top!!

So she wears a lot of jeans and T-shirts and people think my "little boy" is adorable. (Really?! Even with the pink hat?!) Ah well, it's still better than the skinny jeans -what baby has skinny legs?!- and fringed midriff shirt.

Ahem. Stepping off of my soapbox and slinking away now... :0)

Geez Louise, what is the world coming to? This sexing up of little girls, by the way, harks back to our conversation of yesterday, I think. When your own mother puts you into slinky and revealing garments when you're little, you then think nothing of showing off your body the rest of your life. In fact, it becomes a large part of how you present yourself, and you are either incapable of doing otherwise, or have to experience something truly traumatic to change your viewpoint.

Alan, my oldest daughter is a nurse who worked in emergency rooms for six years. (And happy Nurse's Week to all our nurse friends!) She says that when a patient in the ER is known to have been in the same room with a bat, whether or not they exhibit symptoms, and whether or not they had any perception of being bitten, they are given rabies shots. Never mind that the incidence of rabies in bats is extremely low, the shots are expensive, and they are also painful.

Common sense is decidedly lacking in our culture, I think.

Bobby is adorable, Nancy. Too bad your enjoyment of his swim lesson was curtailed.

Paula, we especially love longtime lurkers who pop out to rant! Go, you! 7 weeks, huh? You all ready?

Prosti-tot. Alan, I'm going to use that.

Those socks are disturbing.

So, when I was 2, my mom took a picture of me wearing my rain boots. Just my boots.

When my daughter was 2, there she was in her snow boots. Just her boots. So I took her picture. I thought it would be so cute to have like mother, like daughter photos side-by-side.

Bad move.

The guy at Walgreen's thought that my sweet 2-year-old, in nothing but her boots, might be a victim of child porn. How could he look at my little girl and think of sex? He's the one with the problem, not me snapping the pic.

So the police came and now there's an evidence folder with my naked kid's picture in it. Gross.

I'll rant about this forever.

May I just say that Bobby is absolutely gorgeous?

As for the rest, what everyone else said.

Oh, Amy, that's ridiculous. And frighening.

And yet.....if we want kids ot be protected, we've got to put up with a few evidence folders?

Like--if we want banks and public places to be under constant video surveillance, we need to accept the fact that those cameras are going to catch a few things we'd rather they not?

I would say enjoy your time with your grandson Bobby. He is adorable.
Outings with family make great memories and should not be clouded with paranoia.
Being a ga-ga grandma myself I am cautious with the young ones but I do not want to transfer too much fear to them. Their mom has taught them well and they have done alright.
I am not aware of making kid mini-me clothing but I find that ridiculous.
Buying high end strollers is a status thing and I have never been into status seeking so I can't relate.
Enjoy the day and give Bobbby a hug.

Heavy duty blogging today -- privacy, porn, high heels for infants?
A friend in Minneapolis used to keep the phone numbers of counseling agencies near her phone to refer obscene phone callers to find help. Meanwhile, protecting the vulnerable makes sense.
My niece and her mother told me how hard it was to find cute clothing for her that was still modest -- so many tops with plunging necklines. Enforcing the 7-B's rule at our high school was an ongoing struggle (no breasts, bottoms, bellies, backs, bra straps, boxers, or bedroom wear) -- one mother was upset that I had undercut her efforts to dress her daughter "more feminine" by telling her the neckline was inappropriate for school. "After all, it's only cleavage. We all have it." (My inner filter kicked in to stop me from pointing out something all the boys have that we also don't need to see in school).
"My" Y also disallows photos -- I had wanted to take some when I told stories to the camp program. Schools also don't allow photos of students by outsiders, though sometimes if it's just the back of their heads and mostly focused on the teller, it's ok.

When my daughter wanted to play dress up, we went to the Goodwill & bought high heels and old prom dresses (really tacky ones, too) for her to wear. I almost always wore pants to work and what fun is dressing up in pants? I was always very protective of my daughter when it came to her clothing as a child. She is now 25, but I wouldn't even let her wear the belly showing tshirts to high school.

I HATED the Bratz dolls. #1-I just thought they were flat out ugly. #2-They were too sexualized for the target demographic...prepubescent girls. My stepdaughter didn't think anything of them until her daughter, in Kindergarten, needed a birthday present for a classmate. The little girl wanted a Bratz doll. When they went to the store, the Divine Miss Em (as we call my grandaughter, Emma) just swooned over how pretty they were and how she wanted one. My stepdaughter was in shock. She didn't buy one for the classmate and told Em that she would never get one. They had a discussion on the whys over the next two years. And she stood firm. Emma got a couple as birthday presents and back to the store they went and she got something else she liked.

It goes back to yesterday's topic, I guess. I explained it to my daughter as best I could. If you want to be treated with respect, there are certain ways to behave & dress. If you want to use your body to get ahead, ok...thats your choice. But be prepared to live with the consequences. Once you go down that road, its expected. There are ways to express yourself, without going all out, buck-ass nekid. And there is a time and place for being sexy and alluring.

Although the prosti-tot clothing is more than a little disturbing, a pedophile is going to find a target no matter what they wear. It is sad that protecting children can also be so restrictive to their freedom.
I agree with Mary, the 7-B rule is a great idea. Not being able to take funny nekid pictures of a toddler, is sad. I mean if you don't have those photos, what will you embarrass them with when they are teenagers?

In the interests of lightening the mood just a bit...:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_u611rzlbpw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avU2aarQUiU

Now, please excuse me while I tilt my Fedora, loosen my tie, light a cigar, and settle back with three inches of 40 year old Scotch....:)

This little story falls into the category of the good old days.
After reading e-mails updating his family my husband began reminiscing..something that he does not do very often.
His grandparents ran a lighthouse for many years after World War II.
Duty boats came and went to the island and forts abounded.
My husband, as a child used to be allowed to go on his uncle's little tour boat alone and visit his grandparents at the lighthouse.
But that was not the real reason that he visited the island.
There were circus horses owned by a local who set them free on the island between shows and my husband used to approach the horses trying to catch one and maybe ride on the willing horse..no such luck. The horses would be elusive.
Then my husband turned to me and reflected that his parents let him go on this jaunt and were not concerned.
This speaks of another time. A time of adventure with no texting, hardly any communication but faith that their son would indeed make it home for supper.
Lurkers did exist but I suppose they would be taken care of by their own.
A Mark Twain adventure for sure but memories for a very sweet guy..DH.

Gotta love Dino. Thanks, William.

It's a bit early in the day for the Scotch, isn't William (although I suppose it is 5 PM somewhere).

Yesterday and today's discussions fit right in with the hassle that Elizabeth Hasselbeck created by saying Erin Andrews was asking for the stalking in light of the costumes she wears on DWTS; …as opposed to what other female contestants wear?

William, 'tis a wee bit early here for scotch
but a virtual clink of my glass of juice.
Here's to the good things in life!!

Well, truth to tell, I quit drinking over 20 years ago, but one has to have the image....:)

(See, a good cigar and some fine scotch and Rat Pack keep me from going off on people like Elizabeth Hasselbeck....)

Once again another thought provoking, enlightening, and frustrating blog topic. There are always little bits and pieces of information that I can store away and bring out at the right time.

Thanks to all who are willing to share on these topics because the world is crazy and knowing you aren't alone is comforting.

I don't share pictures on the WWW and am a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad mother (according to my snarky s-i-l (DH's sis) for not letting Lolly (15 year old daughter) have a FB page. Don't think her 13 yo should have one either, but that's her choice. As I told Lolly, it's my computer, my house, and my internet connection, and if I find out you've set one up, I will ground you until you move out.

I've also told both DD's that they really need to listen to their gut when they aren't sure about something and to go ahead and blame their dad and I if there is something they don't want to do.

Now I just found out a schoolmate of Lolly hung herself over the weekend. Not a lot of details have been released of course due to privacy, but I'm really hoping it wasn't the result of bullying. Lolly recognized the girl (she was a year ahead), but neither of us can place where we might have know her from).

I try to use all these things as touchstone teaching moments and hope against hope they stick.

OH, dear, DebraSue! I should have picked a funny topic today, but this one was on my mind. We mix it up here, right?

Elizabeth Hasselbeck has always come off as shrill but I cannot get the image of SNL's
Kristin Wiigs' parody of her out of my head.
Kristin keeps repeating a la Hasselbeck that her theories must be true because she read online, in the paper..take your pick.
Kristin was spot on.

I'm most impressed with the sheer hedonism of having three INCHES of 40-year old Scotch, William, even if it's a virtual portion.

Love your choices, too.

DebbraSue, my heart goes out to you. Even though this is just an acquaintance of your daughter's it will still freak her out. Good luck dealing with her fears.

DebraSue, Condolences and prayers go out to your family and your daughter's acquaintance's family also.

Did I miss something with the stalking and Erin Andrews? Didn't that occur BEFORE she agreed to perform on DWTS? Hasselbeck needs to get a firm grip on reality.

She must not watch DWTS very often either, because the costumes that she and Pamela Anderson (what a surprise she was, in a good way) wore were beautiful and in good taste IMHO. The red garbage bag ruffles that Nicole wore a couple of weeks ago is another story.

Thanks for the support Karen and everyone -- I've tried to keep all the doors of communication open and I believe she knows she can come to me with any questions or concerns she has. I know that I never could have talked to my own mother about this sort of thing and I feel I'm doing a pretty darn good job ;)

OH, the socks. Why are those so weird?

DId you see Suri Cruise in her kitten-high heels? What is she, three?

YEs, it's all creepy. Because it's perception. And it's impossible to imagine what someone else might think of something. The same thing could be cute, or prosti-tot.

And now I'm going back to covering the bomb scare.

xoxo

By the way, DebbraSue, my brother used to call me the "TV Nazi" because I didn't allow my girls to watch the tube during the week when they were kids. My kids did just fine in high school, and in college.

His 17-year old son, however, got a 40 in English last semester. Just sayin'.

PS Those "heels" for babies look alarmingly like the "golden lotus" feet of the Chinese women of old. Yuck.

Hank, is Boston still boiling water? Honestly, it's so crazy right now. My mother is watching the Greek riots and saying it's the end of the world.

A new movie "Babies" is out this week in theatres. It chronicles a year in the life of four babies across the world.
Previews look charming and adorable.

Nancy - No. Nope. Nuh-uh. We are not ready at all. We have all the "stuff," but it's not in the right spots yet. I keep thinking that 7 weeks to go means 6 weekends to "get things done," but I thought that way at 20 weeks to go, too, and not much has changed...

When people ask me when the baby is due I say, "June 20th" because that somehow seems to be farther away... Poor kid! :0)

Unfortunately, it is a reality. It used to be that dance competitions didn't want us videoing and photographing in case we were stealing choreography. Now the reason they post is the same concern that the swim coach expressed. It's sad, but it's the world we live in now.

How many of us have bare baby bottom pictures of ourselves taken by our parents that were processed at the photomat. I don't think you could do that these days.

Regarding the practicality of rabies shots after bat exposure, even if the person doesn't think they've been bitten - per this website:
http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/968262-overview

"The reported incubation period in human beings has ranged from as short as 5 days to as long as 7 years; average incubation is 1-3 months prior to onset of symptoms. In rare cases, human rabies with an extended incubation period (2-7 y) has been reported... Rabies is 100% fatal if postexposure treatment is not administered. A single survivor who was treated with an intensive care protocol to induce a controlled coma has been reported in the United States. Since then, others have tried to repeat use of this intervention without success."

Per another page on that site, when the symptoms of rabies show up, it's already too late. The shots have to be administered before there are any symptoms. Rabies is a horrible death. That's why they don't take any chances.

Just my two cents:

I attend weekly meetings concerning child sex cases (I work for the PD) and sometimes we have to review cases to determine whether or not it involves child pornography.

1. (and this also pertains to child sex abuse) a friend or family member is MORE likely to be the offender of child porn. Not a stranger. Most parent's are not aware of that. This is due to the media only reporting cases where it is a stranger that commits the crime.

2. Alot of the photos we see that deal with child pornography, the child is not smiling. It is real easy to tell whether or not the child is unhappy and uncomfortable its simply a photo taken by a loving parent.

3. Because of #1, I never post pictures of children on my social networking sites. I don't have kids of my own, but I have friends that do. I let the parents decide whether or not they want to post the pics.

We have spent decades warning children, "Don't talk to strangers!" We potray all strangers as bad (and that is OK and some are), but then when a family/friend is the bad guy, children are afraid to tell because they have not been told, "If anyone does something bad, its ok to tell me."

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