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March 22, 2010

Ms. Grumpy

Ms. Grumpy

by Harley

I had a grumpy week.

Grumpiness: it doesn’t rise to the level of Outrage, which leads to Revolution, and it doesn’t sink to Despair, which leads to the writing of redemptive novels (or blogs). Grumpy is the shlubby cousin of true emotion, wearing a once-favorite shirt now stained with salad dressing. Grumpy is not a descent into the Heart of Darkness, a Long Day’s Journey into Night, it’s a stay at Motel 6, lit by low-watt desk lamps.

Grumpy is not cancer; it’s a cold sore. Not a plane crash, but a middle seat between people who have a spotty relationship with personal hygiene. Not hell, just a hot flash.

Here are the highlights of my week in Grumpyville:

DSCN0053   · Tuesday, four a.m., a 4.4 earthquake. The only reason I woke up (4.4 is very mild) is that if you’ve lived through a real earthquake, your body remembers and quivers every time a garbage truck rumbles by. Unfortunately, my dog Jinn also woke up. And threw up. Loudly.

· A bird in the house. The temperature hit 90 degrees and I left the doors opened.  Ducks in the pool, fine—but birds in the house fly into windows and freak out the dogs. If anyone knows an effective Bird Eviction technique, please share.

· The Chirp of Doom. The sound produced by a smoke alarm with a dying battery. The Chirp of Doom happens (by law) in the middle of the night, and if not dealt with in a timely manner, will grow into the Screech of Madness, which requires evacuation and/or a shotgun. Jinn, convinced the End was Near, decided her best chance of survival was to burrow into my hair and whine. I contemplated dragging an extension ladder from the backyard into the house and climbing sixteen feet to dismantle the smoke alarm, but ended up under the covers with Jinn.

· GEP ATL. This is some company or other that my tax person tells me I need a W-2 from.  I can’t figure out who they are, what they do, or why they paid me money. One of life’s mysteries that the IRS will execute me for leaving unsolved. I did try Google. The closest I came was a non-available phone number and a business classification of “Unclassified.”

· Half-days of school, due to parent-teacher conferences. I love my kids. But I need to shower occasionally. And clean the kitchen. And write novels. And even though these were half days, I still had to pack lunches.

· Diary of a Wimpy Kid, the movie. In my zeal to fill those half-days (see above) I took my kids to this. Within ten minutes I wanted to ditch the movie in favor of the book in my purse—BLACKWATER: The Rise of the World’s Most Powerful Mercenary Army--which had far more charm.

· Bird #2 loose in house.DSCN0110

· Disneyland. An occupational hazard of parenting in Southern California and the reason that at least 3 friends remain childless. A 12-hour expedition, including traffic. Was it crowded? To quote the parking attendant, “I won’t sugarcoat it.” (Aren’t they trained to sugarcoat it?)

But wait! Against all odds, Disneyland seduced me. The crowds were beautiful, multi-cultural, poly-lingual. The children—everyone’s—were delightful. Their parents visibly adored them. The weather was perfection. The lines moved at a good clip. Employees smiled. Flowers bloomed. Lovers smooched. Fireworks boomed. A crescent moon beamed. Stars got wished upon. It felt like—seriously—The Happiest Place On Earth. It’s never happened to me before and it may not happen again, but it happened this weekend.

Now spring has sprung, and I’ve cheered up, but for future reference I’d like to know what gets you grumpy and more importantly, what gets you through it.

The formerly grumpy,



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Your dog, Jinn, reminds me of our dog, Lucy...or as we refer to her, Drama Dog. everything is a big scary deal to her. By contrast, Winker (who has too many nicknames to list) only gets excited when her food dish is being filled.

While I see the great good in smoke detectors, I've had a running battle with them for years. One went though batteries too fast, one went off every time a cop helicopter flew over (a weekly event) and another would just give the Chirp of Doom for no reason at all.

As a Native Californian, it takes at least a 5.5 quake to wake me up. And if it's a boring shake, I get pissed off that it woke me up.

For birds in the house, about all you can do is try to shoo them out a door or window, unless you have some sort of net to cath them with.

Humbug. Talk about grumpy. I went to bed 59 and woke up 60. Your grump is a bug on the windshield of life while mine is a head on collision with mortality. So you gal darn young whippersnappers quit your belly aching. When I was your age….

Happy Birthday Rod. I too am a March child and gained another year a couple of days ago.

Having DH gently wake me long before my alarm goes off or I awaken on my own makes me very grumpy.
Having him startle me awake makes me grumpier.

Harley, if you can get the bird into one room (preferably a small room) and can darken the room, the bird might settle down enough for you throw a towel over it to catch it.

My cat who last night could penetrate to my daughter’s room and scratched her while she was asleep made me really grumpy.

Continuous public transportation strikes in France drive me nuts. Personally I get easily through that because I walk to my office but I know that many of my friends who take transport or cars, cannot cheer up so easily.

I do get grumpy every week-end when my children get up at 7 o’clock and come over to ask what we are going to do. But by 9 o’clock I feel perfect again.
I was grumpy yesterday when I could hardly squeeze myself in a skirt. Surprisingly I felt better after having baked a chocolate cake and chocolate truffles.

I got grumpy last week when I discovered that we'd forgotten to renew our passports in time and even grumpier when I heard how long it would take to get the new ones, so we we will not travel where we wanted for the coming spring break. I didn't recover from this yet.

Bird evacuation: Open all doors and windows & wait. Which sometimes results in more birds, but there you go.

I have been feeling grumpy, too, but it's spring now!

Fingers crossed for Jinn.

Yes, Nancy, that's my trick too. I even remove screens from windows. I think that's how I spent half of last week. And then I take the dogs on walks to let the bird calm down enough to wander back out.

Paulina, c'est dommage! I remember being in Paris and hearing that all the time, "La Greve" -- do I have that right? I'd ask what the problem was, and the answer was "parce que la greve." The French are wonderful at cooking and baking and going on strikes.

Paulina, we should all be decidedly less grumpy thinking of your chocolate therapy!

Rod, I know this won't cheer you up, but you've actually been in your 60th year since last year this time. And it's better than the alternative!

Truthfully, all is right with my world today, and I'm so thankful for many blessings that I can't work up a good grump. Saturday night we were part of a group of friends of my husband who meet at least twice a year, men he went to high school with (he's been 60 for months, Rod!) and their wives. Neither of us were looking forward to this event because last year it was kind of a bust. But we ended up having the best time, ever, complete with the kind of crazy laughter that doubles for an abdominal workout.

Then yesterday, in the company of a dear friend who is visiting from New Orleans, I spent the day at our farm, walking in soft spring breezes and just enjoying the hell out of nature. We came home and my darling hubby made us a delicious dinner. I'm thinking that was the perfect antidote to the grumps!

And birthday congratulations -- or condolences! -- to Rod and Peg. Funny -- my 9-year old just turned 10 and had no grumpiness at all. Are you sure you people ate enough cake?

Oh, yeah, and we finally have a health care bill. Historic moment, even if it isn't quite perfect. Yet.

Oh, I'm so sorry about Jinn. As Nancy says, fingers crossed. It's such a helpless feeling when our animal friends are sick.

Harley, at least you got your grumpiness quotient out of the way for a year. It's always the little things, right? Like someone pinching you for no reason.

But I'd like to point out that in the midst of all this grumpiness Harley managed to write a beautiful, personalized, encouraging condolence note. She might have been grumpy, but she still has Grace.

Thank you, honey!

Harley, yes, exactly « la grève » is a magic word, it explains everything. Tomorrow we have a public transportation and elementary school teachers ones (our teacher doesn’t go on strike, I wonder if she is OK).
I think your daughter won’t be grumpy about her birthday for many years yet. I started being grumpy about this when I turned 22. When I turned 21 I was very proud because I was in the US the day of my birthday and they officially served me a drink in the restaurant!

Fingers crossed for your dog.

Poor doggy. Mine's a barfer, too, so you have my sympathy.

Bird in the house? I usually run after it waving a towel. Does no good to get the bird back out, but the exercise is good. Endorphin rush makes you less grumpy.

HOWEVER, if anyone know how to get those #$!ing stink bugs out of my house, I will share Blond Bond's fax number with you. I wonder if Laura in PA is having an infestation, too? I understand the #$%!ing things are eating up the East Coast.

P.S. Oh yeah, and when you are finished reading that BLACKWATER book, may I borrow it? Sounds sexy!

Do not get me started on Blackwater, Ramona. Not even Blond Bond playing Erik Prince in the movie could redeem that man.

I'm very excited about the health care bill -- was even phoning congresspeople yesterday, something I've never done before.

Sarah, you are very welcome.

For me, art is a mood lifter. I live near great museums and went to look a the oil paintings last week. "Gypsy Woman with Baby" made me want to hug the other museum goers, the guards and all the paintings.

Happy Birthday, Rod!
And to quote the songstress Lee Ann Womack..I hope you dance...

Oh Happy Happy Birthday Grumpy...er Rod! If I was Snow White I'd kiss you on the forehead!
Don't we win something for being the first 60 people to wish you happy birthday?
Don't make me grumpy. (smile)
Harley you made me smile too. I thought I was the only one that had a churp alert alarm hassel. It also goes off for the shower steam or a day that starts out cool enough to have the windows closed and then heats up to 110 inside when you return. Then you crank down the air conditioner to have a romantic fire in the fireplace and Churp Churp Churp it goes off like the shower scene in Psycho music. So much for the mood.
Weed wackers, leaf blowers and lawn mowers move over. I'm supposing the northern equivalent are snow plows. Nothing makes anyone grumpier than a smoke detector on a rampage!

Yes, Barbara, yes!

Let's all hug a museum guard today.

Why would anyone install a battery-operated smoke alarm that high in the first place?

Clearly, someone with zero foresight made that decision. Sigh.

What gets me grumpy? Eating too much and spending too much in reaction to the other things that make me grumpy, domestic chaos, overscheduled children, illness (particularly vomit).

Doesn't anyone in California have a screen door?

We just finished dealing with the Chirp of Doom - to the tune of about $100 because neither of us remembered where the battery lives (in the closet with the water heater).

What makes me grumpy? Students who take up my time with questions to which the answers are readily available in standard course documents. Having my karate training time wasted by lazy training partners (fortunately, that doesn't happen often). Not having enough time to do important stuff that I both want and need to do. Not being able to eat like a 20-year-old anymore.

What cures it? Well, this morning I hit a new personal best and bench-pressed 160 pounds. That helped a a lot :) Then I got to hang out with y'all. That helped even more!

Yes, Kerry -- me too on the physical exercise. And yes, Amy, I have screen doors, but I leave them open for the dogs (because they're getting just a bit old and I hate having to make them squeeze through the doggie door) and the birds consider that their invitation to come in and make themselves at home.

And sugar always helps until the next morning, when I wake up crabby for having eaten too much sugar.

My grumpy quotient is usually pretty low.
I attribute this quality to probably being a little shallow and not letting things get to me too often.
But the biggest reason is that my kids and husband expect me to be sunny. It seems that I am their mood barometer.
I guess that I am lucky that usually I get through the day in a reasonably happy mood.
I am grateful if I can wake up and get going on my routine and read TLC to make me connected to the world.
Harley I hope that Jinn gets well soon.
My daughter and her husband have season passes to Disneyland..lucky them.
She calls me and gives up evening updates when they go for dinner and rides over there.
I could get jealous and grumpy but I don't!!
Really, I don't! LOL

Kerry--160 pounds?? You rock!

Happy Birthday, Rod and Peg. I like to remind people about conception. So if you think you feel grumpy, remember that your parents loved each other enough to have sex in June, 1949.

That will either cheer you up or make you so sick that the grumpiness takes a back seat. Just saying.

Karen in Ohio - you install battery operated smoke alarms as close to the ceiling as is practical because smoke fills a room from the top down. The higher the smoke alarm, the more warning you get and the longer you have to evacuate.

Happy Birthday Peg and Rod!
I got the grumps this morning when the power went out. Every other state I've lived, the power goes out in high wind, rain or snow. It is a beautiful 60 degree sunny morning, and the power was out. For only a minute, but then I had to go around and set the clocks again (usually I don't remember how, but Daylight Savings Time has given me recent practice -- analog was easier).

The grumps have passed. I just got back from the gym for my annual birthday bench press challenge. I was able to press my body weight plus one pound for each year. I managed one clean rep of 290 followed by a set of 8 with 230. If I keep this up I might be able to take Xena or Me Margie in arm wrestling. Naw. What am I thinking?

Maybe so, Cathy, but changing a battery annually at that height sounds as though it could be almost as dangerous as the potential for a few seconds delay in smoke warning.

I would think a hard-wired alarm would be more sensible than a battery-operated one, in such a case.

"Chirp of Doom." Love it.

The Chirp is what trained me, finally, to do what all the life experts on the Today Show tell you: Change the batteries every New Year's Day.

Main benefit: sleep.

Extra benefit: deluding yourself into thinking you have done something important with your day while in the throes of a champagne hangover.

I'm an even keel type of person, so I don't get grumpy very often. Though I'd admit to indulge in self pity now and then. Chocolate cures. Really good dark chocolate cures best.

Paulina - Thanks for mentioning your passport. It reminded me that mine might be close to expiring, found it & it had expired. Though no plans to use it soon, but you never know if someone wants to whisk you off to Paris. It could happen. Not likely, but must be prepared.

I have a hard-wired smoke detector in my apartment, when the power goes out it likes to let me know the power is out . . . by screeching like a dying bird at about 90 decibels!

Grumpy is having my best friend call from Magic Mountain yesterday just before he got to go on Colossus and of course to let me know that he will be in Disneyland all day today. Me, I am at work.

Happy Birthday Rod & Peg!
Benchpressing is something is I miss a lot. Darn health problems make me grumpy.
Birthdays don't make me grumpy, turning 50 in November and having my sister give me second hand garbage wrapped in a christmas box with christmas wrapping - that made me grumpy.

This post reminds me that I didn't see the usual slew of PSAs about changing your batteries when the time changes. Karen, the hardwired detectors have a battery back-up, so they still chirp.

I get a lot of birds in the house, too. Better them than rodents, so long as I see them before the dogs do. I open all the doors and windows and use a broom to gently direct traffic.

I have hard- wired smoke alarms, but they still have batteries, and the chirp of doom, as back-up in the case of an electrical fire. Mine are only 8 feet off the ground, though. :)

Speaking of which, my normally very happy-go-lucky dog is terrified of the smoke alarm. If the downstairs one goes off (I blame the stove burners, not my cooking), he tears up the stairs and hides under the bed. Same goes if I turn on the stove exhaust fan, drop a heavy item, or my husband yells loudly at whatever game is on TV. Not the bravest dog in the world.

Sometimes I'm grumpy and I don't know why. Those are the worst, because I don't know how to fix it. But I usually start with chocolate.

Happy birthday, Rod. Your books make me ungrumpy -- as do the tarts' books!
I second the use of chocolate for therapeutic purposes -- sometimes sherry or port -- but walks are wonderful, too, especially right at sunset because it's so pretty. Back in the dark ages of dating, if a guy didn't call, I'd take a walk. With no answering machine, I'd have no idea if he ever called or not . . .
Right now, off to aqua-aerobics!!

Oh, and Ramona, I've found three stinkbugs in the house so far. Not exactly an infestation, but three more than is welcome. I really hate those suckers!

Have to tell you, it would make me seriously grumpy to have the Chirp of Doom from 16 feet off the floor!

There must be a better way, she grumbled.

Peg, add my birthday greetings to the mix. And many happy returns of the day.

Happy Birthday to Peg and Rod!

And Disneyland cures everything. Maybe the Government should spend a week there, get their minds back in the game....

Karen, I agree with you..there has to be a better way. An inventor is probably out there pondering this as we speak.
BTW, my grandson was with me during the weekend and I asked him if he missed fighting with his brother. He said, yes he did.
We came up with an an idea for a pseudo electronic invention that would mimic his brother so that they could resume their fighting antics. We may have away too much time on our hands.
Rod, since I would never be a candidate for an arm wrestling contest I am thinking that maybe I could qualify for a mental calisthenics contest...Maybe Not!

I just finished OUR LADY OF IMMACULATE DECEPTION, and can honestly recommend it as a grump-buster.

Yes, Tom, yes.

And PJ? You're the first person I've ever met who changes their batteries on New Year's Day. You are an inspiration to this blog.

I think we should begin a virtual arm-wrestling tournament. Who's in? What d'ya got?

Grumpy -- having to pay taxes on April 15; a 21 year old who sideswiped the van and didn't fess up to it; a MIL who only preaches about what everyone in the world is doing wrong and can never just have a pleasant conversation.

Semi-grumpy -- having just turned 50 on the 19th, but am over that since I am relatively healthy, have a home, can read, read, read (which is why I don't mind taking the bus)

Content -- still employed; found this blog and make it a priority; 15 year old who wears zebra splishy-splashy boots to dinner and doesn't care what anyone else thinks; husband who honored my wishes for no surprise party; the will power to not buy pastry this AM.

oops -- forgot Happy -- the snow in Mpls has melted, the grass is greening up, and it is officially SPRING

Grumpy is seasonal allergies. Loud sneezes . . .

Happy is having my income taxes done, mailed in and the return should get deposited any day now! (Canada's tax deadline day is April 30th)

Happy Birthday to Rod, Peg & Debbrasue!!!

I'm grumpy when I pay more for a meal than I think it's worth, am around rude people (especially people who leave grocery carts in the middle of a parking space because they're too lazy to take them back), and am bombarded with too much noise.

Oh, and it doesn't matter what time of the day or night I wake up, I'm grumpy for a little while. I could never understand how my dad could wake up ready to jump out of bed. He would whistle and sing to wake us in the mornings before school, and I would just groan and pull the covers over my head. Now I do the same thing when the alarm goes off. Some things just never change...

To everyone who has a birthday --

Youth is the gift of nature, but age is the work of art.

I found this on a caringbridge site of a young man who just turned 16 on the 20th and who is now battling cancer that was caused by the treatment for his first cancer. His name is Sinjin Andrukates and if you go to Caringbridge.org and type in his name (no space between first and second) you can read about his journey.

Hoppy Birdie to ewe, Peg.
. . . as for the bird in the house, one of our science teachers used to have a net, like a big butterfly net, to help get them out of our school humanely.
Our aqua-aerobics class cures my "grumpiness" very well.

The idiots who are invoking Bible verses as a "code" to cheer on the assassination of our President are making me a helluva lot more than grumpy.

Wait just a cotton pickin' second Rod...me and Me, Margie? At the same time? >WHEW<
Whatever are you suggesting sugar?
(Margie get in the supply closet and bulk up now! We've been challenged sister!)
And just where would this "challenge" be held Big Birthday Boy?
I've been wench pressed at the Renaissance Festival before you were my knight in shining armor of choice.
We'll talk.
(Margie...we'll win!)

Not being able to connect to the internet this weekend made me grumpy. Gray cloudy day -AGAIN - isn't helping today.

Xena: So far it has been impossible to get any bets on me verse Me Margie. The bookie says no matter the odds no one is willing to bet on me. He also strongly suggested I wear a cup.

To commemorate this personal landmark we’re giving away the audio version of The Fourth Awakening to everyone on our email list. CJ Critt did the reading and I have to tell you it is unnerving to hear someone else reading out loud something you’ve written.


details here http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Fourth-Awakening/94034703279

What makes me grumpy is looking for the next Wollie Shelley book and not finding it printed yet. Quit blogging and get back to writing. spw

Grumpy? Well, not to sound ungrateful because most things are pretty wonderful...
but bad lunch. A bad lunch is so depressing, because you have that one chance to have lunch every day, you know? SO I'm sitting at my desk, taking the 5 minutes to myself, and if the grilled chicken is gristly or Grade D, or the lettuce is a little, I don't know, wilty. Or the cheese is just off..it's frustrating, because you can't make up for it until the next day.

Oh, even writing about it, I feel better.

And Happy Birthday, Rod! Here's your present: I'm older than you are!

Oh, Kathy, that's lovely. I mean, really, it is.

Sending hugs to Jinn...Jinn's relying on you now..

Harley, I know this is asking the impossible in a house with dogs and kids, but if you are the only person in a quiet room, the bird will focus its full attention on you, and if you think in pictures: open window, bird flying out, etc., the bird will read your visual thoughts and get the message. Yesterday I went into the university's parking garage to open the door to the street for the day, and there was a lonely bird that had accidentally spent the night in the garage--it followed me to the door and flew out immediately, reading my thoughts.
Seriously: I'm neither crazy nor gifted with any unusual/paranormal/weird talents, this just works.
Grumpy--I think I'm most prone to being grumpy when students (we're talking grad students--from age 23 to 60)are rude or disrespectful, particularly to faculty (of which I am one), and, in my classroom. It is just so unnecessary to be rude!!

To feel better: a conversation with a dear old friend. Solves everything. As does the occasional excellent cup of great coffee.

Happy Birthday, Rod and Peg! Way to share birthday gifts, Rod! May your generosity come back to you tenfold.

Harley, the mind-pictures thing also works with wasps and bees. I tried it on the preying mantis that lived in my kitchen for a while last summer, but I couldn't tell whether it was just on high-alert or actually responding, because I didn't want it to leave, so I was just showing it a little water bowl . . . .

Laraine, I totally believe you, and since I'm currently reading The 4th Awakening, I'm willing to bet that Rod "wench press" Pennington believes you too.

The only question is, does this mind thing always work, with everyone, or could it be that you are particularly gifted in Winged Creature Speak?

Actually, there was a bee in my car the other day, and I encouraged it to leave, and it did. So either I am also gifted in WGS, or everyone can do it.

Or it's possible that some of us are just more highly (or lowly, considered the winged species involved) evolved than others.

Wench Press Pennington. Love it!

Wench Press? Isn't that one of the Tarts publishers?

Hank, you can't be older than Wench Press Rod (aka Wench Press Pennington)! And Rod can't be that age either. According to my birth year, I'm going to reach that auspicious milestone in about five years, and I've decided I might not claim it when I reach it...

Harley, did you see Sandee's post? She may have a point. Please tell us that a new Wollie book will be released this year. Please? But please keep writing the blog too.

and here I thought Wench Press was one of me,Margie's positions!

I was beyond grumpy, so I spent a much needed few days in Disneyworld in 2006. I sat in the Adventurers Club. Samantha Sterling touched my bicep and asked me to introduce her. I did. I went back for two years and the grumps were exorcised.

Now that the Adventurers Club is closed, I get grumpy. I have yet to return to Disneyworld since the closing of the Adventurers Club. I can only hold on to my memories of Samantha Sterling touching my bicep.

1. eat chocolate
2. dig in the dirt, plant flowers or a tree
3. watch an episode of 30Rock
4. paint something
5. call a friend
6. take dog for a walk
7. hug somebody who will hug back
8. write a letter or send a card or email someone you haven't heard from in a long time.
9. bake cookies
10. eat cookies or pie or something yummy...see chocolate suggestion.
11. dance around the house to great music
12. cry at a sappy movie or laugh at a stupid one
13. make to do lists then tear it up and toss in trash
14. do something you've never done before
15. tell someone you love them or do a secret favor for someone or...yourself.
16. buy a box of fortune cookies and open all of them
17. go to the beach, lake or somewhere gorgeous and take photos
18. grant a wish
19. sing
20. take a bubble bath

-- 15 year old who wears zebra splishy-splashy boots to dinner --
would be great friends with my great-niece and her friend, who plan to wear their rainboots to prom, and are making dresses to coordinate.
Not sure that climbing ladders after drinking the previous night would be in my game plan. I refused vaulted ceilings because I couldn't see myself climbing that high. As it was, I still had to buy a 6' ladder for the 9' ceilings . . .
. . . and oddly enough, my electricity also went out, with no storm, no apparent reason, just long enough to make me reset electronic appliance timers . .

Hee, hee, I'm older that Rod also, so if he were single, and I could beat Xena to him, would I then be a cougar?? . . hmm, already cheered up.

**older THAN
I know better, even if my fingers don't . . . or maybe the keyboard is wearing out??

You guys all crack me up. It's the best thing when I've got the grumps, listening to the snappy, or sappy banter here. Now I've got 'wench press' stuck in my mind . . . when or how it will come out again is debatable.

Harley, I think you have the WCS skills, really I do--Karen in Ohio and I can't be the only ones. But, as I mentioned, sometimes kids, dogs, radios or other distractions keep the winged ones from paying close enough attention to calm down and obey.
The Sunday morning thing was perfect: early morning, completely quiet parking garage, the bird all but walked behind me to the door. If there had been other people in the garage, or noisy distractions, birdy might have stayed in the rafters, freaked out.

My friend Kim deals with birds by actually cuddling them in her hands and carrying them outside. But she's a real minister, which is probably why. It's part of the course work.

I'll explain the next Wollie book in my next blog -- how's that?

I find that whistling, humming, singing, or picking up an instrument will banish grumpiness like a champagne bubble pops.

The juxtaposition of Disney and the bird and bee whispering has burned this indelible image in my mind of Laraine and Karen dancing with the woodland creatures.

Yay, Harley! Happy dancing with the woodland creatures over a new Wollie!

Once R chased a bird-in-house to the basement and back to the first floor with a basket to capture it and followed by Alison at 6YO and two cats. By the time they hit the kitchen, bird hit the window and we could not figure out where it went........search and found in a pickle jar on it's head.....R took it outside ang tossed to the wind!

Also.........why no hand sanitizer in all of Disneyland when it is in every parking garage in the east?

Because, Mary Alice, Disneyland is filled with the Mouse clan, and everyone knows that rodents are the cleanest creatures on earth.

Harley wrote:
I'll explain the next Wollie book in my next blog -- how's that?

Dave replies;
Cool, that's a scoop!

Let me sound a note of joy...no room for grumpiness at the moment because I have just finished your fourth book, fast on the heels of numbers 1, 2 and 3 (twice!!). They are incredibly entertaining and I recommend them whenever I can. Cannot wait for #5!

Keep up the great work...from a fellow novelist yearning to be published. I'll let you know when I do.

Thank you for Wollie and Joey and Simon, etc.

Unfortunately, a bird flew into our patio window shattering it - the bird survived. Can't decide if that's better or worse than a bird in the house . . . .

When we lived in West Hollywood we had a smoke detector that Howard 9significant pain in the butt) called the snore alarm. If the humidity or smog or whatever got too high and set it off - it was always JUST as we were going to sleep!

Happy spring grumpies!

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