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December 07, 2009

I Didn't Get the Memo

I Didn’t Get the Memo

By Harley

Last week I was sweating through my Power Punch class—at the gym, not the Adult Beverage Institute—and I noticed a strange thing. Everyone was wearing those little socks that disappear into their shoes. Everyone. I started counting feet. It’s a crowded class and each woman, including one who looks like my grandmother would look if she hadn’t died in 1966, was wearing these socks. Except for yours truly. I was wearing plain old sweat socks, the kind that covers the ankle. One man in the class also wore the full coverage socks, pulled halfway up his calf, but as he resembled Winston Churchill, his isn't the fashion club I want to inhabit. (Although he gets points for surviving Power Punch.)

We used to call those half-coverage socks Peds (not to be confused with PEDS, or Performance Enhancing Drugs, also in evidence at my gym). Are they still called Peds? I never liked them, because my feet are large, and tiny socks tend to slip down into my shoes. The point is, one day a memo went out announcing that sweat socks are déclassé and the only acceptable footwear for gym people is Peds.

Only I didn't get the memo.

Here’s another memo I didn’t get: My friend Patty called one day to say, “I’m running late for carpool, I’m getting my eyebrows done.” The next week my friend Yara asked me, “who does your eyebrows?” I went into a salon for a haircut and was offered a New Client Eyebrow Discount. Good God! Are mine the only eyebrows in America muddling through life without a stylist?

It gets better. I was at a “Goodbye, Guiding Light” cast party in August and some lovely soap star I’d just met was contemplating retirement. “I’m tired,” she said. “I’d kind of like to let myself go. Stop waxing the facial hair, sleep in past five a.m. . . .” Wait. What? Exorcise facial hair? I mean, I did soaps, but it never occurred to me to wax my face for my art.

And it’s not just fashion. At Starbucks, I buy a hot chocolate, I’m waiting to sign the receipt, only there’s no receipt to sign, but I keep standing like a slug at the front of the line. Then, I’m at the airport, I buy Sun Chips, same deal. I realize, okay, we no longer sign receipts. So I buy mints, I say thanks, walk away, pop one into my mouth, and hear, “Ma’am! Ma’am, you need to sign your receipt for those Tic-Tacs!” So what’s the rule here? Do you sign or do you not? Because I didn’t get the memo.

It took me 2 years to figure out that people were text messaging me, and another year to figure out how to text them in return. Other memos I didn’t get:

  1. e-vites. Yes, it’s easy to RSVP, but also stressful. It’s like the party’s already started online, and I worry that my response isn’t entertaining enough.
  2. The Swiffer. I don’t understand it. Call me Cinderella, but I’d rather just scrub my floor.
  3. Gingerbread Houses, my personal Do Not Try This At Home nightmare. Yes, Michele Martinez is a gingerbread advocate, but Michele went to Harvard and Stanford. I wouldn't make the Army Corps of Engineers. It took half an hour for my walls and roofs to collapse; it will be Easter before I’ve scraped the glue off the floor and retrieved the gumballs from under the furniture.
  4. Dogs Who Live in Handbags.
  5. Why Bunnies Are Good Pets.

How about you? It’s Confess Your Ignorance Day at TLC!



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Omigosh, this had me laughing like a loon at 2 AM, Harley.

Durn, don't you just hate it when that happens? It didn't dawn on me that more than one acquaintance had storebought boobs until my friend told me they did. And it wasn't until a couple of years ago that I realized that practically every woman I know dyes her hair.

And don't even get me started on the "hardwood floors" of waxing the privates. What the? It's all way too much maintenance for me, I'm afraid.

And psst, I'm in the same club when it comes to gingerbread houses. Some of us have the knack, and then there's me, sticking to everything because of that dadratted royal icing.

Harley, I'm horrified to discover that those darned socks are back in vogue . . . I was just contemplating mine with a certain amount of dislike the other day and thinking of getting rid of them, since I seldom bring myself to wear them. The Green Life on Main Street carries such a great line of amazingly comfortable organic cotton socks (real socks that don't slide into your shoes when you exercise), pleeeeezzze don't ask me to go back to the others.
Peds: I remember Peds. I remember asking about them at Nordstrom about 8 years ago and having the saleswoman look at me as if I were a poor old, bent-backed, arthritic, half-blind soul from the start of the previous century, as she kindly explained she had never heard of them. Nobody carried them then, and the only thing I found like them was the little disposable nylon thingies they had for trying on shoes at the late, lamented Shoe Pavillion on Wilshire.
Designer eyebrows?? No.
Private waxing? You must be kidding. Not on this planet.
Gingerbread Houses? Never again until I have money for a therapist to sort out why it is so important to me to spend precious time getting the icing just right when the whole thing I've assembled looks so darned crappy anyway.
Bunnies? Awww, they're so cute and sweet when they're babies, and I'm sure MY bunny will be different than all others and be sweet and sociable and lovable when it grows up, instead of just getting cranky and long-clawed and long-toothed and wanting to get the hell away from humans. Yeah, I fell for that once. ONCE.
Great post, Harley. Karen, go to bed, for Pete's sakes.

Sending nudes on your cell phone to your paramour. Rihanna said, "if you don't send naked pictures to your boyfriend, then I feel sorry for him," or words to that effect.

I didn't get that memo. (But I kinda wish that people whom I would like to see naked would get it and think that it applied to me.)

Harley, you just listed many of the reasons I stay securely Back When, with turntables, actual books, B&W movies, Dean and Frank, holding doors for a lady, standing up when a woman enters the room, etc. I can't figure it out anymore, so I quit trying....

My daughter has about 6 pair of those little socks - she wears them all the time. The other day she was complaining that they were falling in to her shoes, because she had run out of fashion tape (she also has large feet). Yikes.

They're a pain in the laundry too - tiny scraps of fabric that you have to find mates to.

I've encountered the Starbucks/receipt signing thing too. There are other stores that do the same, and then the ones that don't, so I'm standing uncertainly waiting to be handed a slip, half in the checkout and half on my way to the door.

Man, it must have been awesome to go to the Guiding Light Goodbye Party. I hope you hugged Robert Newman for me.

My husband wears those "Peds" (and that's what I've always called them). Not me. I live in Western NY and this is WINTER for crissakes!

I don't get designer shoes and handbags. People talk about them with first and last names and I always think they're talking about a friend or something. Fashion? I'm clueless. (And quite happily so.) Waxing? Who has time? Eyebrown maintainence? Okay, I'll pluck once a year or so (used to be more when I was dating).

I feel better knowing there's at least one TLC author and (probably) lots of TLC readers just like me! (I'm staying tuned to today's comments to find out.)

Hate to say it but I didn't get the Twitter memo and still don't quite understand the point. Facebook either, though I'm ON facebook...a

Harley, you're even more behind the times if you haven't started getting your eyebrows "threaded." It's a big deal here. Me, I'm losing my eyebrows, so it's not an issue. But the eyebrow hair has turned into facial fur. Erg.

Me, I confess I never realized that everybody but me got a regular pedicure. I was behind on that one. Now that I'm back swimming at the gym, I realize I need to get my toes done ASAP or risk shunning.

Twitter! That's another one I don't get. Along with multiple fingernail/toenail colors. We went to a garden party last summer and no fewer than three of the guests had the same kind of multicolor toenails. I felt like shoving my boring single-colored toes in the dirt.

Laraine, thank you for your concern about my sleep. I am just getting over a bad cold, and without drugs my poor body just wasn't able to settle down last night. But I feel much better today.

eyebrows - My mom has had her eyebrows "done" as long as I can remember. No me. Memo must have stopped with mom.

Peds - have some. The new ones do great. The older ones I have to dig out of my shoes as I walk. Love/hate relationship.

I didn't get the memo for The Big Bang Theory nor Buffy. If anyone sends me a memo about these TV shows, can you please include an explanation because I don't get them.

My list:

1. Remote-control system for switching the lamps on.
I agree that it's marvellous if you need to switch your outside lights on (BTW, Harley, what about your outside lights? are they Ok now?) or if you live in a castle and you need to walk for a half an hour before reaching the right room.
But what the heck do you need this bloody system in the apartment when you have electric switches at every step? But your “cher et tendre” is all the way excited about this system and obliges you to use the remote control (if you remember where you have placed it) to turn the lights on in your bed-room but normally you get confused amid numerous buttons and get instead the lights on in your kid’s room who is asleep.
Happy to say now that after a month of fight I could get rid of the remote control system for the lights I constantly use. My hubby left anyway some lamps connected for his personal use and satisfaction.

2. Large male pants that drop off the butt. Cannot understand that 13-15 years after this weird vogue has started, some people are still wearing them.

3. People who wear shorts when it’s snowing

4. Twitter (we have Face-book and equivalent, blogs etc. Twitter what for?)

5. Don’t get the message about the age for Botox. My mother never did it and looks 15 years younger but a friend of mine eggs me on Botox, my preconceived notions about it and how she looks wonderful with no wrinkles at all and the like.

See, I have an eight year old to keep me current. Socks CANNOT COVER YOUR ANKLE, Dad. She of course, promptly taught her sister the same thing.

After seeing someone getting their eyebrows threaded, all I can say is the dumpster of said mall was cleaner than the procedure. How could you? Germ-X (a St. Louis based hand sanitizer company) had their best year ever in 2009 and I am watching someone have thread from an industrial spool sewn in to their face by a tech who is using her teeth as a third hand for the braid. I may need to clean the keyboard after typing this.

I don't tweet, but Facebook I am enjoying.

Oh, where to begin?

I'm with you all on Tweeting. How could I forget my forays into that Dark Forest? Yes, and oversized Gangland Pants for boys, and the girl version, which includes high-rise thong. THAT was a fave!

And I don't do cell phone pictures at all, except by accident, but if I accidentally take any nude ones of me, Josh, you'll be the first to see them.

Oh, yes, Botox! Here's another thing I do not understand--why do otherwise sane women want to look like someone else entirely, instead of themselves? You can pick out the idiots who've had work done instantly, and most of them do NOT look better. They just look weird. What ever happened to looking like an individual? I am mystified by this incessant need for what is perceived as perfection, to the point where everyone looks identical. That's just crazy.

Simple enough for me.

Ever evolving Handshakes and hello kisses.
(Quick think…..Where is she from again? ….Brazil....I think…......kiss air, kiss air!…..but how many times?.....”)

“Miley Cyrus is Miley Stewart as Hanna Montana”. This simply confused me.

I actually like - sometimes - the no-show socks. Depends upon the shoes & the overall outfit. :-)

Stuff I don't get:
- Vampires. OK, call me stodgy and old, but the whole Twilight thing is lost on me.
- Twitter. I admit I sometimes check out other people's tweets (no that does not make me a stalker!) but I don't think I am interesting or funny enough to post anything myself.
- Designer handbags, the over-logo'ed, vinyl-coated cloth kind (you know who you are, LV & D&B!) Buy a decent leather bag and save the other couple-hundred dollars for shoes!! :-D

I don't even know what eyebrow threading is, so I clearly missed that memo. I got the memo that Twitter exists, but not the one explaining who on earth would care what I'm thinking or doing every second of my day.

I totally missed the memo on designer shoes and purses, and also the one warning me of the revolution in college clothing (i.e., students coming to class in their pajamas). I've also completely lost track of where we are vis-a-vis spandex. Still OK for workout wear, as long as it's combined with high-tech moisture-wicking capability?

As far as the peds, I admit that I've worn them for working out for years. I get the fancy runners' kind that keep my feet cooler and drier than regular socks, and I find them way more comfortable than anything else.

William, I like you more and more :)

I have large feet and don't like the peds either. My daughter and her friends (who are in middle school) don't wear matching socks. It drives me nuts. But apparently this is the new thing. I even saw a brand of socks on QVC called Little MisMatch...they're a set of 6 socks that have similar colors but different patterns and no two exactly match. Go figure.

Great topic. Goes along with 'Mom jeans'...

I don't know what eyebrow threading is, and I think I don't want to know.

I remember having the same revelation about the little socks a long time ago. Keep your current socks, Harley, they will be coming back around sometime. They don't call them peds now, but they do come in different 'heights' - low, ultra low, higher, etc. I have big feet too, and I know you just have to keep trying them to see which ones fit.

Bunnies can be good pets, depending on what you are looking for, but they really aren't great for kids. For bunnies to have a shot at being a good pet, then need to be spayed/neutered, litter trained, and able to be let loose in a bunny-proofed home.


How about the memo on how to use the tv remote control? LOL. I eventually had to call Comcast and have the guy walk me through how to tape shows on my dvr... took over an hour for me to get it right (the poor man was very patient). Let's just say I'm not technically inclined, okay? But I certainly can't be the only one who's lost when it comes to the remote control.???

And I'm glad Kerry mentioned she didn't know what threaded eyebrows are because I was going to ask the same thing. HUH? Threaded eyebrows?

I've never twittered or tweetered... perhaps I'm a twit.

Anyway, great article Harley!

And I've seen kids wearing different shoes. I don't think my feet would like that.

I did get the Hannah Montana memo and the Buffy the Vampire Slayer memo, so if I can find them in my files, I'll send them.

Dan, every time I visit another part of the country, I get mixed up on the Hugs and Kisses thing. Here in L.A., we hug. In New York - or maybe it's Nebraska -- people kiss. I used to live in both those places, so I have this brain freeze when I go to greet people, terrified that I'm hugging when I should be kissing. I end up in weird clutching scenarios, with someone smashing lipstick into my ear.

Ciao Bellas!

Rocco here, checking in on my day off. More to come this Friday in the Mancini Cousins Gift Guide, but here is my standard warning for any salon procedure - especially one dealing with eyes or parts normally covered by underwear. (Cousins, when I say this, you must assume one is wearing underwear):

Hygiene and cleanliness is the first requirement!

If someone is doing a procedure and using their teeth (that just gives me a seizure at the mere thought) you do not want to be a part of it. Gloves, always. All equipment and supplies must be sanitized. Always. Check the ceiling of your salon - if there are cobwebs or enough dust on the ceiling fans to make a blanket, just get out.

That said, eyelash and eyebrow threading may be new to you, but they have been around for ages in other cultures. Unless you have very strong eyelashes, don't try the threading unless you are in India and find someone who has been doing it for decades. Otherwise, chances are that your lashes will all break off. Which, my lovelies, is not a pretty picture. The same can apply to eyebrows, but as they are normally heavier, and get less friction, the odds are better. Try a brow pencil and brush first.

See you Friday!

Harley, if you didn't get the memo, maybe it was texted to you.

How about the memo encouraging people to do something horribly tacky or obnoxious or dangerous or illegal for the sole purpose of grabbing a reality TV show? That memo zipped right by me.

ArkansasCyndi, the memo about Big Bang Theory is that uber nerds are the new black.

My 14 yo daughter doesn't even really like to wear socks, but in Minnesota this time of year it's a necessity. She doesn't wear matching ones either and it drives her dad absolutely nuts! My take on it is slightly less obsessive -- as long as she isn't getting frostbite, I don't care. There are much bigger and scarier things to worry about than whether or not socks match. On the plus side, I never match hers up -- she has a bin in her closet and they all get dumped in there.

As for the PEDs, I also have large, wide, flat feet. I found the Danskin brand with the arch support come in the larger foot size. They stay on my feet and feel good too.

Side note -- come on people, why do all the cute socks some in the standard small size!! The one size fits all mentality should be banished.

I also don't understand the need for a handbag that costs more than a car payment. The same 14 yo mentioned above has finally gotten the message -- you can have one semi-designer (think Kohl's) bag OR go to a thrift store and get more and then share with your best friend.

Camis with shelf bras: you're still required to wear a bra or wear another cami or other shirt. See, if I'm wearing a cami and showing off my shoulders and chest, it means it's hot outside. I don't want another shirt on because two shirts are too hot and restricting and uncomfortable. I don't want to wear a bra because the cami came with a bra, and even though it's not particularly supportive or possibly even large enough, a bra is a bra and one is enough, thank you very much. But as I looked around all summer long, and my mother said, "Well!" when I only wore a cami with my too-long shorts (that's another one), I realized I was being too intimate in this age of showing it all. But I kept doing it because, damn it, it's comfortable.

Peds: hate 'em. They slide down into my shoe and bunch around my sizable arch.

So funny! I had to Google eyebrow threading -- must be a popular search because I only had to type five letters and it popped up as a choice. My skin doesn't like even tweezing, so I'll skip that, along with hot wax and other instruments of torture.
I finally got into FB, and it's as big of a time-consumer as I feared, but now I communicate with great-nieces, so that's good. Only tweets I want are the birds outside, and I hate the shorthand people have adopted that now spills over into all their writing. When teaching, I finally promised to take off extra points for spelling "you" with only one letter.
My memo to self -- do/wear what's comfortable -- I've earned the right!

Good news: My neighbor has Lifetime -- we're planning a party to watch "Lying to Be Perfect" on Jan. 30!! I think I'll make brownies . . .

Amy, if you only had the good sense to have plastic breasts, you wouldn't need the extra bra under that cami-with-shelf-bra, because your breasts would be perfectly supported on their own.

Rocco, you have gotten every memo known to mankind, since the beginning of time, haven't you?

With a latex allergy, I am happy to find any socks without latex. I gave all the cute socks away years ago . . .
I did used to make gingerbread houses with my niece, and my brother the tool & die man taught me to put cans inside to stabilize the walls until the icing set. The last attempt, with impatient great nephews, wouldn't hold, so we finally declared it a disaster area, didn't call FEMA, and ate the evidence . . .

We were just talking about Peds the other day. My son said, "Peds? What are those?" as he slipped into his...Peds.
The first adult I saw wearing those with black clogs was my super cool brother in law. Kept thinking....Emperor's New Clothes.

I've worn two different shoes, but not on purpose.

Laura? Ditto. Glad I'm in good company!

I never got the memo on anything that involves going to a spa. I must be missing a gene, I don't like going to the spa at all. I have tried it, ugh. And NO ONE touches my feet but me. Try and I will hurt you. And really, I can and do pluck my own eyebrows. The whole concept of facial waxing is a total shudder.

I have one pair of Peds, they are emergency socks in case all the others are in the wash.

I carry a $15 backpack everywhere I go, who needs a designer purse! And it is bright orange and yellow with reflector strips, I am so cool and hip . . .

I did get the memo on Swiffer, love it.

I haven't worn a bra for over 7 months due to a shoulder injury, it took some creative dressing to get through the summer without any wardrobe malfunctions.

Gasp, I don't have a cell phone. I think I am the last person in Vancouver without some form of hand held annoyance.

I agree with Harley, what is with the miniature dogs in a purse? I have called them rats on a leash for years. But it does make me laugh seeing some big burly guy waiting patiently for is 3 pounds dog to go poo so he can then pick up the tiny worm of poo and throw it away.

Gaylin, surely I am the last person in CALIFORNIA!!! without a cell phone, but we don't get reception in our canyon and I'm home all the time anyway.
I've tried tweeting. I still don't get it. I like FB.

See, Gaylin, that's what we love about Canada. People pick up after their dogs, even when the amount is so small as to be nearly invisible to the naked eye.

And no cell phone? Why, you RADICAL!

Harley and all the others - you happy people! Because can buy such socks what you want. And when you buy these socks you precisely know that receive that want. In my country when I buy pair of socks there is no guarantee that they will be the identical size. And I should not give one of them to the child. One year ago I have bought a jacket of the of 4 yo daughters (in not cheap shop). When my daughter has dressed it, it has appeared that one sleeve is wider and longer than another. One sleeve was more than another for two sizes (it is made in China). Really they have such children?

Yeah--someone mentioned above. We (it wouldn't have been me) didn't get the memo about it's being acceptable for your bra straps to show. Wear a strapless bra, or a shirt with thick enough whatevers on your shoulders so that I don't have to see your bra strap. I think the same may go for thong straps. I'm not getting inside them, even if I might want to, so don't show them to me.

Now see, Tweeting I get. FB drives me a bit mad because I feel too obligated to read everything and then I feel guilty because I can't keep up with everyone's updates. Tweeting is like hanging out at the water cooler and chatting briefly with anyone else who happens to be there at that moment, having a laugh and then moving on.

What I did not get the memo for:

well, hell, the threaded eyebrow thing sort of blew my mind, so there's that.

The peds thing just confuses me. Are they socks? Or footie stockings? Socks should just be socks.

I didn't get the memo that I'm supposed to decorate as if my house came from the Pottery Barn. Where do other people shove all their stuff? My stuff is happily lying about, thank you. [I had someone criticize my shelves because I had an entire collection of antique cameras on the shelves, and she said I should just choose one per shelf, to showcase it. Um, right. I have a collection 'cuz I want to actually see them. duh.]

This was a very funny post. Unfortunately, I was stuck at the beginning. I didn't get any memos about Power Punch Classes, I have no clue what that is. Maybe if I looked more like Winston Churchill I would go to a gym. For me, it's rusty old barbells in the (20 degrees this morning) garage.

Oh, as per kisses.
I always have to keep in memory that in Paris people kiss twice, in some French provinces too, in Burgundy it's four times, with our neighbours in Burgundy who are Americans we kiss four times because they kind of adopted local traditions, with their daughter who lives in London we kiss twice because she used to live in Paris, with a friend of mine who comes from Russia to Paris twice a year it's one kiss, with the descendance of the Russian aristocracy in Paris it's three times, with my famly and close friends I don't know - it's depends the person you kiss. So the main thing for me is not to lose count.

Paulina, that just makes my head hurt.

It's too cold right now to not wear socks that cover your ankles but what really bugs me about socks? If I don't buy socks with reinforced heels and toes they get holes far too quickly than they used to! They're too expensive to wear out so quickly.
So okay, it's true I have big toes but I do keep the nails trimmed. What gives?
The peds are for warmer weather but if you work in the yard, the mosquitos will bite those exposed ankles! YOW!
As for memos re. trends...sigh...I rarely get them and I still don't text.

Poor Harley...and poor me too when it comes to it. They don't make Peds to fit people with my shoe size...or cheap socks either. I have to pony up for the 'extended size' which always "only" happen to be available in black. Like large feet don't like color? Geez. I just spent the morning signing and not signing receipts depending on where I was and how much I was spending. No two stores do the same thing. And then you don't sign paper, just a plastic screen that makes your handwriting look like something on the Rosetta Stone.
And I don't text...which is why I'm clinging to the same cell I've have for four years. Hey...it does what I ask, so why not?
And Cathy? You and I should be friends...I can't twitter OR tweet :o) Facebook is techy enough for me these days! Technology and I are always feuding, probably the one reason I'm not sure I want nook...although I did see one today and it LOOKS easy enough for me. I want to practice first :o)
Harley, you are not alone...

I have learned as a car passenger not to talk when the GPS is giving the driver directions. I have learned not to disspute the GPS directions. I have educated myself to divulge very little info on Facebook which makes me seem like the Rain Man where he speaks in very short and clipped sentences. I will not Tweet because I cannot convince myself that anyone is interested in my lunch findings. I long for human contact and will trade my laptop at times for hugs and kisses.

Holy cow, Paulina. I'm exhausted just reading that. I think the whole world should adopt the fist bump as the international greeting.

I've missed the shoes-that-cost-more-than-$50 memo, and the everyone-must-drive-an-SUV memo.

I want to move to Paris and spend my entire day counting how many times I've just kissed someone.

Paulina? Get my room ready.

Problem with Paris, which I would like to visit, at least (1997 trip cancelled on day of, due to flu and too-recent major surgery; now, my erstwhile traveling companion is traveling a different route.), is that I would think I had to drive like DeNiro in "Ronin."

Peds on guys? Oh hell no!

Twitter? I don't get it. Why would I want an update every time you eat or take a leak or whatever?

Face waxing? WTF?

Dogs carried in handbags? I wonder how often they pee in them as revenge.

Bunnies as good pets? Ok, this I can see. quieter & cheaper than dogs & cats...easier to feed...poop doesn't stink as much. BUT, having tried a house rabbit as a pet, I can tell you that you need to secure anything that looks like a wire or cord VERY well or they'll chew it up. Me? I'll stick with Basset Hounds.

Harley, ça y est, you've got a permanent reservation. The room is ready. Welcome!!

Storyteller Mary, sorry for the mistakes, especially those that are due to some lack of attentiveness.

Bunnies v. Bassett Hounds: no contest.

Doc in CA, you should come to my gym. Truly, you'd be amazed at how many manly men are wandering around in Peds.

Augh, Men in Peds, so not right.

Somehow I manage to live not only without a cellphone, I also have never had a microwave or dishwasher.

My sister (years ago) lived in Tahiti, it was a total shocker to her to see women on the beach with a mirror in the sand, up on one elbow plucking out their armpit hair. Gee, I wonder why they don't offer that in spas - the screaming might be distracting to the other patrons!

Doc and Harley - I will stick with dust bunnies, they only move when you vacuum them.

What are these memoes of which you speak? I've never received one in my entire life.

Oh? You could tell?

Peds, huh? When they come in 15s, do let me know.

Okay, I have a confession: I have, on occasion, in the "privacy" of my car, flossed (my teeth, not my eyebrows). But I draw the line at plucking my underarm hair in public. I have standards. They are low standards, but they are mine.

Paulina, no apologies, my dear -- you are doing beautifully!! My criticism was of my own students, speaking and writing their native tongue, using texting abbreviations like "u" you "you" in finished copies of essays.
Now I'll admit to having no idea what this means," I'm not sure I want nook..."
Didn't even have a clue . . .no memo to me . . .

Mary, nook = one version of an electronic reader, a la Kindle. It's Barnes & Noble's new doohickey, if I remember correctly (could be Borders).

The first time I went to Paris, in 2001, I asked my editor at Threads what to look out for, because he had been there several times. He said everywhere you chose to look there would be something wonderful, not to worry. He also found out I would be seeing a favorite mutual acquaintance, another of his authors, and he asked me to give her "some of those French kisses" from him. That still cracks us both up.

Biggest one of the year for me......"Japanese herbivores". Wow.

Dan, that one was new to me also . . . Strange new world . . .

Dan! What the heck is a Japanese herbivore?

It sounds intriguing, but not as intriguing as those French kisses.

Midriffs and cleavage. This is PRIVATE stuff. But today my intern's tummy was showing. I say: no.

And cleavage is for weekends, not for the office.

I never remember who air kisses, or how many times, or whether they actually touch cheeks or lips to cheek, or kiss on the mouth. This means I'm in a continual haze of offering my cheek to the air while semi-embracing whoever, and hoping this is the right combo. Paulina, I'm in awe.
Missed the Japanese herbivore memo.
Guys in short socks sounds ok for summer--but no Peds for guys. No. Not unless it is also ok for them to wear soft-leather gold flats with pointed toes, in which case I'm exploring where I'd like to move to get away from that . . . .

Um, kiss on the mouth in the chaste, familial gesture . . . . I don't have any problem keeping track of who I kiss on the mouth in the romantic sense, nor how many times to do so.

Ah. Laraine . . . you're giving me romance flashbacks.

What the heck is fashion tape?

And then one day my niece Facebooked that her iron went bad, and I told her about my nice, cheap, heavy one. Then I realized she meant her HAIR straightening iron. I don't think she has a "real" iron.

Hey William,
I did not get the memo about holding the door open for a woman either.

Diva Beauty forthreading while in Vegas. Very interesting keep it up.

"Harley, you just listed many of the reasons I stay securely Back When, with turntables, actual books, B&W movies, Dean and Frank, holding doors for a lady, standing up when a woman enters the room, etc. I can't figure it out anymore, so I quit trying...."
I agree with wiliam

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