OPTIMISM VERSUS PESSIMISM

Optimism versus Pessimism

By Lisa Earle McLeod 

TLC is delighted to welcome guest author Lisa Earle McLeod.

The sunny-side-uppers claim that a positive attitude is the secret to success. If only all the Eeyores of the world would start thinking more positively, we could cure disease, create world peace, and line our pockets with riches.

Yet the self-proclaimed realists assert that they're the only ones are willing to face the facts. Leave life to the Pollyannas, and they'll skip us off the edge of a cliff, clutching copies of "The Secret" to their chests, passionately chanting, "I believe I can fly, I believe I can fly."

But which side is right?

The answer is both. Or neither, depending on whether you prefer your glass half-full or half-empty.

Any cynic will tell you, ill-informed optimism deludes people into ignoring reality. Yet doom and gloom pessimism sucks people into depression and inaction, neither of which are very helpful in bad situations.

The pessimism versus optimism debate is actually a false choice. It's an either/or myth, perpetuated by people who are completely exasperated that the clueless optimists/pessimists on the other side won't see the truth.

However, the real duality we need to embrace is facts AND faith.

As in, the facts may be pretty awful AND having faith that you will ultimately prevail is one of the best ways to insure that you do.

Originally cited by Jim Collins in the classic best-seller "Good to Great," the ability to simultaneously face the brutal facts of your current situation AND hold onto the faith that you will prevail is one of the hallmarks of a great leader, and it's the secret to surviving adversity.

The nuanced differences between the facts and faith duality, and pessimism vs. optimism debate, are important.

Facts are just that, facts. However, pessimism is a negative emotion that you attach to facts. Yes, your business might be going broke, or your disease might only have a 2 percent survival rate, or your 401(k) may be worth less than it was when you were 20. But those facts don't have to dictate your response. The ability to look clear-eyed at a situation doesn't mean succumbing to despair.

That's where faith comes in.

While optimism is usually connected to certain outcomes: I'll meet Mr. Right, I'll find a new job next week, I won't have to do any more chemo, faith is less scripted.

It can be faith in God, faith in yourself or just a general feeling that the world tilts toward the greater good. It's a belief that things eventually work out OK, even if the process is messy and you don't know what OK is going to look like.

I explore the facts and faith duality in my new book, "The Triangle of Truth," which comes out in January.

One of the things I uncovered in my research is that the ability to tolerate uncertainty is what separates the people who can survive difficult situations from those who are flattened by them.

Optimism and pessimism are both based on assumptions that things will play out in certain ways. Yet people who are able to tolerate the ambiguity of uncertain outcomes are able to assimilate facts AND faith at the same time.

Embracing ambiguity is hard for us humans. The optimists and the pessimists may seem sure of their perspectives, but the truth is, nobody knows for sure how life will play out.

We never did and we never will.

Lisa Earle McLeod is a syndicated columnist, author, and keynote speaker.  Her new book The Triangle of Truth:  The Surprisingly Simple Secret to Resolving Conflicts Large and Small will be released in January  - Learn more about Lisa at - www.TriangleofTruth.com

Side note from Kathy Sweeney:  Want to help some families facing the bad economic reality with some good old fashioned generosity?  If you've been following TLC, you know about Rachel Rothenberg and her victory in the Jeopardy Teen Tournament.  Rachel is donating 20% of her winnings to charity, and we at Team Rachel are helping raise more money for our local food bank by taking orders - this week only - for the shirts we designed to celebrate our champion. For details, please e-mail me at [email protected] or check out Kathy Reschini Sweeney on Facebook.  THANKS!  (And thanks to Lisa for sharing this space today!)

Comments

[Josh]

Since everything is always about me, is this whole posting about me, or is everyone else is such rotten shape, and I've been too absorbed in my own drama to notice?

Hmm. Another item on the list for therapy. There just aren't enough hours in the day.

[William]

The glass is indeed half full. Or half empty. The wonderful thing about Life is the occasional free refill....:)

[Lisa Daily]

I'm all for the free refills....

Kathy-- such a great idea!!! Go Team Rachel!

Lisa

[nancy martin]

I'm a big believer in getting what you want by hard work, not rose-colored glasses. Call me a drudge. Or a Presbyterian!

That said, I have been incredibly lucky. I win stuff all the time. Good things happen when I don't expect them. I get those free refills without asking! I'm afraid to play the lottery for fear I'll jinx my good fortune.

[Karen in Ohio]

In my 28-year marriage we've had lots of conversations on this topic. I've a "glass half full" person, and my husband is the opposite, always full of doom and gloom. In fact, he was actually diagnosed with something called a "floating anxiety", which kind of covers every contingency.

I feel as though we make our own luck. You can't win if you don't enter, and nothing ventured nothing gained in every other aspect of life. A still single friend used to bemoan her lack of a husband, but she never left her apartment. She simply did not get the connection there.

Nancy, you get free refills because you have a lot of positive energy around you. It's obvious even to those of us who have never seen you in person, so I can easily see how you could radiate that same energy to those around you. That's a powerful ability.

[Holly Gault]

Karen, I'm a half full person with you (some would say half-assed, but I'm not talking to them right now). I try to bend rather than break in a difficult situation. I wouldn't have reconnected with Steve if I hadn't picked up the phone after forty years -- that's worked out really well. And every time I succeed at a venture, I feel that I have acquired new skills and abilities to reach for a new goal.

Yeah, I could say that I'm an optimist.

[Harley]

Lisa, I love this stuff. Your book looks great!

A certain anonymous program talks about the ability to tolerate uncertainty and that's always been a hard one for me to swallow, but really, I think it's the whole ballgame.

I love the phrase "just a general feeling that the world tilts toward the greater good." Put me down as a yes on that one.

[Rita Scott]

I try to keep an upbeat out look (is that proof that I'm crazy, Elaine? LOL)But it seems like whenever things take a turn for the better, I get screwed without getting kissed!
I figure God put me here for a reason, just wish he'd give me the good times before I'm too old to enjoy them!

[Kerry]

Great post! I, too, believe that the "world tilts toward the greater good," in large part because human beings - the vast majority of the good and decent people - tip it that way through their positive actions large and small. Call me a believer in positive karma or something.

I've always hated the "will it and it will be so" school of positive thinking, as it seems to be just another version of victim-blaming. Nonetheless, my husband and I work hard to at least find some humor in our daily lives and to cope with the very unavoidable uncertainty that seems so terribly prevalent these days. It sure ain't easy, though!

Here's one thing to think positively about: my daughter killed the metaphorical rabbit on Friday, so I'm hoping to be a grandmother by the end of the summer!!!!!

[Kerry]

Ack - that should read "the vast majority of THEM good and decent people . . ."

Guess I'm really excited :)

[Karen in Ohio]

Kerry!!!! That's so cool! I am sending the very healthiest of wishes for your daughter's health and a happy pregnancy.

[Marie]

When I think of optimism I think of the lyrics in the song "Cockeyed Optimist" by Rodgers and Hammerstein. "I hear the human race is falling on its face and hasn't very far to go, but every whippoorwill is selling me a bill and telling me it just ain't so." This song encompasses faith, reality and blind optimism. I love it!! A little gratitude thrown in never hurt me because I feel blessed even when the sun hasn't always shone.

[nancy martin]

Kerry! Many, many congrats! The whole grandmother gig is incredibly fun! And you will definitely be the Cool Gramma!

[Peg H]

I believe that any day I wake up is a good day.

Never let it be said that I'm a half full or half empty glass person--I want my glass topped off at all times!

[Kerry]

Thanks, Karen & Nancy! I definitely plan on being at least *a* cool Gramma -- I'll certainly be the only one with tattoos and black belts :)

[Bryn]

I'm an optimistic cynic--I hope for the best, but I know it's not terribly likely. Reality, to use a somewhat over-used expression, is what it is. Pessimism or optimism are merely two possible ways of anticipating reality. Optimist: "I just know that the doctor wouldn't fib to me when I get a shot. It'll feel like sunshine and rainbows and dancing unicorns!" Pessimist: "The shot is going to hurt so badly that I'll scream and then I'll wind up with a headache from all the screaming." Reality is the shot hurts or it doesn't depending on the size of the needle, your pain threshold and the skill of the person administering it.

What happens, happens and while one can plan to the nth degree for any contingency, the one you don't plan for can still happen. That's okay by me because reality really is a lovely place to inhabit.

[storyteller Mary]

I always try to hope and work for good . . . with occasional setbacks (and writing a mystery or two for catharsis). I've started a list of quotes to perk myself up as needed:
Mother Teresa -- I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much.
Shakespeare In Love . . . on Theater -- insurmountable obstacles on the road to immanent disaster
It all turns out well. How? I don't know, it's a mystery . . .

Life is good!!

[Marie]

I have read all the posts today over and over and I am struck by Bryn's philosophy..."what happens happens." My recollection of my late father-in-law tackling all the problems facing him is truly his legacy to me. I would see him roll up his sleeves and fix whatever needed fixing. To me that was proof of optimism. He passed this quality on to his seven children. He never whined about what was facing him..he worked to fix it. I miss him! I also miss my own father who also possessed this trait.