Onion Sandwiches: Your Answer to H1N1

By Sarah

Before we get started talking about this H1N1 business, we gotta do something about the name. I'm sorry, but any virus that is already threatening to infect millions and kill hundreds - perhaps more - needs a better moniker. Have lawyers been involved? (Lawyers for the pig industry, I'm guessing.) Because H1N1 smacks of a cease and desist letter. Like when we as reporters used to get threatening memos from the Rollerblade people cautioning that unless the sports equipment was specifically marked ROLLERBLADE on the side, we were "strongly advised" not to go calling any roller skate a Rollerblade. As if any reader cared.

But I digress.

The real point of this blog is to move beyond the fear - of both the virus and the vaccine - and get to those homegrown solutions, wive's tales if you will, that are both cheap and weird and, I believe, often effective in fighting the plague. Which this is, in case you haven't noticed. And, no, I don't want to be hearing from the "Plague People" that unless the virus is classified as "bubonic" I am incorrect in calling it the plague. Because in this world, I'm betting even those viruses have representation. 

Okay, let's start with what we know. The H1N1 is a virus, like a cold or, well, the plague. Viruses are like teeny tiny hypodermic needles. Their key to survival is being able to live outside the body and then, when being picked up on doorknobs or through handshakes or being inhaled after someone sneezes, invading the host, injecting its DNA and replicating more little hypodermic needles with a goal of taking over your body. Your body reacts. Sometimes it wins, like in 10 days for the cold, sometimes it loses, like when you're a sickly child in Africa suffering from AIDS, untreated. Fortunately, the HIV virus does a crappy job of living on doorknobs. Thank goodness for small things.

This means we can fight the H1N1 virus in two ways: a) not coming in contact with it  - difficult b) responding effectively when we do. In the last case, the vaccine helps, though it takes a while (six weeks?) to build antibodies. Some people are suspicious of the vaccine partly because quasi news outlets like AOL news publish stories from England or Swaziland about people receiving vaccines and dying on the spot. But from what I understand the vaccine is produced from two other old, tried and true flu vaccines, so its death rate is really quite low. (Now, I expect, I'll be hearing from AOL.)

Since the vaccine's not readily available right now, that leave us home remedies. Washing hands frequently, of course, is a no brainer. Ever since I went on book tours and had to live in airports for two weeks, I've become an OC hand washer. Sneezing into the crook of your arm (and, by the way, how come it took so long for us to figure out THAT one) is another. Also, staying home and keeping your kids home with the slightest symptoms. Unfortunately, until young working parents have understanding bosses and support, that won't happen. Not in this economy.

Those are normal things to do. Now here are some abnormal things -

1) Onion Sandwiches

Growing up, I had a babysitter, Mrs. Sandt, perhaps I've told you about her. Mrs. Sandt was one of those old Pennsylvania Dutchwomen, not alot of fun, wore a lot of black with clodhopper shoes, but amazing when it came to living on watercress and dirt. She raised 13 kids, or something like that, none of whom ever got sick. How? Friday night raw onion sandwiches. Disgusting, right? She swore up and down that raw onion sandwiches - served on Friday to spare fellow school children the next day - did something miraculous that drove viruses away. I'm not sure Mrs. Sandt even knew what a virus was, but those sandwiches worked.

2) Gargling with Salt Water

This was one of my grandmother's favorite remedies - and she lived to be 107. The concept here is to gargle with salt water at the least little tickle in the back of the throat, though, in the winter, she would do it every night. My grandmother, a full blooded German, was very much into discipline and salt water, refusing to swim in fresh water ponds. That had something to do with polio, I forget. She loved the ocean, however, and she loved salt water gargles. If I had to guess, I'd say that the throat is probably a vulnerable entry point for viruses with all that delicate tissue. Therefore, the salt either kills or prevents viruses from infecting. I don't know, I'm no doctor. Just do it. Alternatively, I gargle with Peroxyl at the least little tickle of a sore throat and that works really well.

3) Garlic, Garlic, Garlic.

Again, we're working on the same principle as the onion sandwiches. Is it that the garlic and onion keep other (infected) people at bay? Or is it that these two wonder vegetables pack a punch? When my kids get sick with some flu or cold thing that lingers, I give them roasted garlic soup. Yes, it has grated parmesan cheese and cream and a bit of sherry, but it also has 40 cloves of garlic and a few onions, too. It's also incredibly delicious with crusty bread and a crisp salad. You can find the recipe here.

So those are my wacky ideas. Got some of your own? Post 'em here. Maybe, together, we can fight this H1N1 virus (I call it the Virus Formerly Known as Swine, though that might be risking legal action from Prince). Apart, we can do even better.

Stay well!

Sarah

Comments

[Kathy Sweeney]

Thanks Sarah, for covering me.

I was supposed to blog today, but guess what? I'm sick. Every fiber in my body hurts.

I thought I'd get up and blog during the night but apparently enough pain killers will trump even insomnia.

Great blog, Sarah, and thanks again! I'll be back later with suggestions.

Tomorrow on the blog - Fall TV Roundup.

[Kerry]

Dear Ms. Strohmeyer:
In your recent post to "The Lipstick Chronicles", you wrote the following:

"The H1N1 is a virus, like a cold or, well, the plague."

With all due respect for your undoubtedly well-meaning intentions, we must point out while H1N1 is, as you say, a virus, it is neither like a cold nor like the plague. H1N1 belongs to the influenza viruses; the common cold belongs to the more, well, common group of rhinoviruses. As for the plague, it is caused by a bacterium, Yersinia pestis to be specific.

We can understand why you would not wish to be bothered by those ridiculous Plague People about using the term "plague" to refer to diseases other than those caused by Y. pestis. What a waste of time! What a classic example of a litigious society run amuck! Have they no lives, that they must prowl the blogosphere in search of any excuse to raise a fuss? Ridiculous.

Ahem.

We must strongly object, however, to the inclusion of the common cold in the company of H1N1 and the plague (bubonic or otherwise). Such comparisons invite fear on the part of anyone who sneezes and potential violence, born of ignorance, against same. Would you have an innocent child, nose tickled by pollen born on a soft spring breeze, or by the gentle brush of a kitten's tail, brutally attacked and savaged by his or her play date? Would you have riots in elevators? Mayhem on the streets??? Chaos everywhere, and the collapse of civilization as we know it?!?

Ahem.

For these reasons, unless the disease in question is actually caused by a rhinovirus, you are strongly advised against equating it, in any way, shape, or form, with the common cold.

Thank you for your attention.
The Cold People

[Kerry]

I'm a big fan of hot salt-water gargles (their actual benefit is that they reduce inflamation by drawing out excess fluid). My Mom always relied on Campbell's chicken soup. I understand that some families use cream of tomato. Why is that, I wonder?

My personal weapon against most anything is a good stack of books if I'm not too out of it, and/or a good stack of videos if I am. Then, if I'm not too uncomfortable, I try to be grateful for the excuse to be at home instead of at work :)

[judy merrill larsen]

Thanks for the soup recipe--Yum! I'm not even going to wait for somebody to get sick around here to make it.

My grandmother (lived to 103) swore by mustard plasters--apparently it involved mustard powder or seeds, cooked up with warm water (I think), made into a paste of some sort and applied to one's chest to loosen up the pfleghm. My father and all his brothers claim that's why none of them had chest hair as adults. My father never inflicted that upon us but was a big believer in the miracles of Mentholatum. That plus keeping the house cold in the winter to keep germs from festering or whatever. (Of course, if none of that worked he'd tell us to "walk it off." Which didn't work so well when my mother had fallen and broken her ankle. When she passed out after taking one step, he rushed her to the hospital. They were newlyweds and this year celebrated their 58th anniversary. She's a good woman.)

Stay well, everybody!

[William Simon]

Robitussin was my grandmother's antidote for everything. If I'd broken my arm, she'd have poured Robitussin on it. I have to admit, even today, it's pretty miraculous stuff. Robitussin and aspirin will cure damn near anything....

[Sarah]

The Cold People -

You'll be hearing from my lawyers. Ahem.

The plague was a bacterium? Really? Who says you don't learn anything from blogs.

Thanks, Kerry!

[Charles]

Dear Mr. or Ms. Cold Person:

I saw My Big Fat Greek Wedding and want to know whether Windex is the only glass cleaner effective against colds, virus and bacterium; can I use generic brands, or do I do so at my own risk?

Sincerely,

Ms. Strohmeyer's lawyer

[kris]

At my son's college, they call it Pig AIDS.

[Lorraine Bartlett]

Our family cough syrup is as follows: cut up one large onion, sprinkle with a lot of brown sugar and leave out until it developes a disgusting-tasting brown syrup (about 5-6 hours). Take a tablespoon or two as needed. You'll stop coughing. And it works every time.

[nancy martin]

White lightning cures everything.

Kerry, we love you!

Kathy, get well soon. And stay on your side of town, okay?

[Karen in Ohio]

Who knew the flu could be so damned funny? Only on TLC.

When anyone in our family gets an upset tummy we have peppermint tea; when we get a cold I make a hot toddy with bourbon, lemon and honey, and a little hot water. It works, and you get a good night's sleep. If I get chest congestion a carbonated soft drink helps to break it up.

Since I discovered echinacea and astragalus ( a Chinese herb) I have hardly been sick, and that's been for the last 15 years. I used to get two-week colds all winter, including every freaking Christmas, which ticked me off. Not any more. Eating lots of garlic must help, too, since that is one of my "drugs of choice", along with basil and dark chocolate.

[Karen in Ohio]

Oh, and Kathy, I wish you a speedy recovery. Sick on the weekend? Either good planning or poor, depending on your viewpoint.

[ArkansasCyndi]

Poor Kathy. Sick AND sick on the weekend.

Saltwater gargles. Yep. Cured anything (particularly complaining that you had a sore throat)

Cough medicine: a drop of honey mixed with booze, preferably white lightning. Seriously. I guess the booze cut the thick secretions.

Vicks Favor Rub - smeared on the chest at the mention of a cold. Also good for toe nail infections and a variety of other common ailments.

LOVE Pig Aids. BRAWAHAHAHA

Being in the home of the ARKANSAS RAZORBACKS (Go Hogs!), there is a shirt here that says on the front "I don't have swine flu" and on the back "I have hog fever" HAHA

[Kathy Sweeney]

Dear Cold People:

Perhaps if you minded your own business and found something that actually WORKS to cure colds, you would have some credibility.

Sincerely,
Sarah's Lawyer Friend who will be filing an Amicus Brief.

Love ya Kerry!

Thanks for the good wishes. My family is gone and my house is blissfully quiet. I am listening to the Lullaby Mix I made for new babies and going back to bed. No fever - or any other yuck symptoms. Just feel like I was hit by a truck. You don't think that can actually happen and not remember it, do you? I KNOW I wasn't in a fight because there are no marks on my hands or other defensive marks.

Maybe it was watching Sons of Anarchy for the first time.

[marie]

Yea, Judy I remember pleading "Noooo! not the mustard plaster!! That concoction probably slowed down my onset of puberty. It certainly affected my boob size. And who could forget Musterole slathered liberally on one's chest while trying to cower under the covers. Oh, what tortures we endured int the name of health. Oh, and lastly the daily dose of Castor Oil to ensure that Vitamin D would replace sunshine on the shorter days of winter.

[hollygee]

Did the mustard plaster augment or deflate the boobs -- I'm thinking that there's a market for either result.h

[Marie]

Mmmm. Good question Hollygee! Considering that the Boobs in question were fried egg size early on and only became omeltette size much later when pregnancy hormones kicked in I woould have to say that if I could go back I would decline the mustard plaster remedy if given a choice. At least the remedy didn't render me sterile!!!! However now that I think of it who knows what's in those new aids that make you excited to see hubby come through the bedroom door.

[Peg H]

Mustard plasters, Vicks vapor rub, milk toast, cinnamon toast cut into magical strips, and Grandma at the ready to amuse us. Life in our house when we were sick. My mother hated dealing with sick kids but since her mother lived with us, she didn't have to anyway.

[Harley]

I'm going for the garlic. Killing germs and discouraging vampires, in one fell swoop.

[Kerry]

Yes, plague is caused by a bacterium, transmitted by fleas that ride around on rodents. It is actually endemic in the American Southwest, where biologists studying prairie dogs are known to wear T-shirts proudly proclaiming, "New Mexico: Land of the Flea and Home of the Plague."

Windex? Phooey. Just mix up ammonia and water; it's basically the same thing. I don't know that it kills germs, but make it strong enough and it will pretty much take off several layers of skin (outside and inside if you breathe it). That's gotta help, right?

I'd forgotten about VapoRub and Mentholatum. I actually prefer (white) Tiger Balm when I have a chest cold, accompanied by many mugs of Bengal Spice tea. Mom used to dose us with whiskey, honey and lemon, now that I think about it . . .

[Laura (in PA)]

Aww, Kathy - sorry you're sick. Hope it's not Pig AIDS.

My mother raised nine kids, and we all remember (not so) fondly the remedies for certain ills. Musterole on the chest with a dish towel over it - not sure if that was to keep it off the pajamas, or to hold in the heat. Gargling with salt water for a sore throat. Yuck. Honey and lemon on a spoon for coughs. That was kind of yummy. Terpin Hydrate, if the honey and lemon didn't take care of it. It was about 150 proof, and burned all the way down, yet sold over the counter. I think the main ingredient was moonshine. A cool cloth on my forehead for fever. Ginger ale for upset stomachs.

We took Vitamin C every morning year round. I don't think I ever saw an antibiotic until I was in my 20s. Nowadays, kids get them 5 times a year.

Even in the dead of winter (in Central NY yet - the land of lake-effect snow), she brought babies outside, warmly wrapped, for a little while each day. They needed fresh air.

But God Forbid you ever go outside when it's cold with a wet head.

All of that stuff has proven to have real science behind it. People weren't so dumb in the old days.

[storyteller Mary]

A college friend had her frozen hair break off when she went outside after swimming -- scarves are more than just accessories.

I swear by Airborne -- have some when I start feeling at all sniffly . . .

[Laurie Moore]

Not really a remedy, but when I lived in Austin, we had a rapist who used Ben Gay on his penis. The newspapers/cops called him the Ben Gay rapist.

I do not like the name pig flu, so when I got it in April (I deal with mental patients who often live on the streets and pick up some pretty scary illnesses), I decided to call it "the other white" flu. Didn't make it go away any faster (spent 5 weeks in self-quarantine rather than go to the hospital) and I've never been so sick in my whole life. Pray you don't die one minute; pray for death the next. The stack of books is a good suggestion, normally, but my efforts were spent on actual breathing. It is an insidious disease, let me tell you.

I have no idea where I picked it up. I only go 3 places: court, mental hospitals or out to eat, and I never heard of anybody else having it at the places I frequent. I also get a flu shot every year, and pneumonia shots every 5 years.

Now I understand there's a strain of "the other white" flu that combines avian flu. And I heard this week that there's a dog flu. When will it all end?

Kathy Sweeney: "filing an Amicus Brief" against the Cold People. Hysterical funny.

Loved the column, Sarah. But onion sandwiches? As a lifelong hater of onions, I once fantasized as a child what would happen if an evil-doer ever broke into our house and threatened to do away with my family unless I ate an onion. But I formed a back-up plan in case I became an orphan so it all worked out.

[generic viagra]

Who doesn't like onions ?

[breastfeeding mastitis]

Onions are rich in minerals and trace elements: calcium, magnesium, chlorine, cobalt, copper, iron, phosphorus, iodine, nickel and potassium, silicon, zinc, sulfur, bromine ... Also abundant vitamins A, B, C and E.