Yeah, it's Monday

Yeah, it's Monday

By Me, Margie, filling in, as usual because who else does any work around here?  No one.

Does anyone out there actually like Mondays?  I mean, there is a restaurant chain named for how much people adore Fridays, and tons of songs about Saturday night.  Sunday used to be a quiet day, where the biggest job after church was to start the gravy that would last for a couple of days, but now all the stores are open.  Wednesday is hump day, which means, y'know different things to different people.  Me, I like to -- well, I know you OCHFTS, so I think ya know.

I think it's time we gave Monday a re-do.  It's not Monday's fault it comes right after the weekend.  I blame whatever Julian worked up the calendar.  Oops, that was Julius Caesar, wasn't it?  I know this because I watched Rome on HBO.  Julius was pretty much of a shit, so that explains it.  No credit to Pope Greg either, because he had a chance to make all kinda changes and just left Monday out there hanging.

Monday is named for the Moon, which is a very cool thing, right?  And everybody kept the name Monday even when some other days were changed.  Maybe we should just start calling it Moonday.  That would be a start.  Then people could, like, design cool shirts.  As long as nobody started flashing the moon in traffic.  Then it would just be even worse than it is now.

Maybe every Monday should start with something really fun.  Like fireworks or blow jobs.  Hey, feel free to pick your own fun stuff.  I can't do everything here.

I'm just here keeping you company before the real blog pops up.  Kinda like blog foreplay.  Yet another specialty I can add to my resume, right?

So give a girl some help here - how would take the crappola vibe outta Mondays?

Wait a minute - look at what those Brits are up to!  http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/education/article6689953.ece

They have this new leaflet and the slogan is "An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away" - I think I blogged about that a while ago - nice to see someone was paying attention.  

Do we have our solution for Monday?  It can be O-day.  The slang writes itself - Comeday, Moanday, I mean, this is gold!

Comments

[Cousin Rita]

Margie! I keep telling you, if you keep on doing all the work, you will never get that raise you want.

You need to learn about holding out sometimes. Trust me on this. Next time nobody else shows up on Monday morning, get yourself some blue flu, cuz.

About this moon stuff, weren't the Moonies those dudes that married, like, 6,000 people in one big shindig. That's like a whole Naval battalion getting hitched all at once. Heh. Except, I don't remember any cakes at the Moonie weddings. I think no cake means it's not legally binding. In Cousin Rita Law, it would.

[Me, Margie]

Hey, cuz - check out what they're doing now in the UK! Time for some international diplomacy, I think, right?

The Queen's Navy, I mean, the Royal Navy, with this new O-directive? Fugheddaboudit!

Plus you are totally right about the cake. Why you and me aren't running everything is a real fuckin' mystery, huh?

[Azcat59]

One of my favorite songs, by the Boomtown Rats is "I don't Like Mondays"--however I'm not sure that THAT is the correct message to send to today's public (look it up if you don't know it, it's based on a true story).

OK, I've been reading but not responding and I have to know what the heck OCHFTS stand for?

[Laura (in PA)]

The Mamas And The Papas said it best:

Every other day, every other day,
Every other day of the week is fine, yeah
But whenever Monday comes, but whenever Monday comes
You can find me cryin' all of the time

I hate Mondays. This is no exception.

Azcat59 - OCHFTS stands for: Only come here for the sex. Because some people do.

[Me, Margie]

Hi Azcat (cool tag) -

It stands for I Only Come Here For The Sex. Can't remember who made it up, but it's like a TLC bumper sticker.

Not that, like, we only talk about sex. Because some people who I won't name but they totally know who they are don't want to admit they think about sex all the time.

Some other people who I also won't name don't care about sex, which I guess is cool if you like are ready to keel over dead or have too many kids or something.

Glad to see you posting! Be sure to come back especially when I'm here not that I'm the best one here or anything even though some people say I totally am just saying.

[Azcat59]

Well Margie, why do you think they leave you in charge? They know who's bringing in the readers, right?

[Iam138]

A blow job would be nice. Getting. I have no experience giving, and probably wouldn't be good at it.

True story: On the first day of every semester, I would tell my wife that we needed to have sex to get the semester off to a good start, to relax her, etc., etc.

[ArkansasCyndi]

hey lam138 - good luck with that lame excuse to the wife. Like that'd ever work.

The only reason I love Mondays is for The Closer!

[Clea Simon]

Bit of rock & roll & Monday trivia: The mass murderer who gave as her excuse "I don't like Mondays" (as immortalized by the Boomtown Rats) actually did her killing on a Thursday. So that should let Mondays off the hook, shouldn't it?

Well, if not, I'll take the orgasm, please. With an extra cup of coffee to get me started.

[Harley]

Me, Margie, I'm so sorry. I don't know whose turn it is today, but since we all write/have written detective novels, I'm sure someone will figure it out. Perhaps we should plant bugs in the office? Or pipe in that truth serum gas (sodium pentathol? is that right?) along with the Muzak.

I love Mondays. The kids are back in school/camp and I can get some writing done and/or nap.

[gaylin in vancouver]

I think the workday on Mondays should start at 10 or 11 in the morning, you know, kind of ease the way into the work week.

I also like the idea of Monday morning orgasms or Sunday night orgasms or gee, sex any time at all . . . can you tell I am single at the moment and NOT getting any.

[Doc in CA]

Hold the damned phone there, Margie! Are you saying there are people who DON'T start their Mondays with an orgasm/blowjob/early morning wake up sex? WTF?!?!

I vote for Moanday. Followed by Tonguesday...Bedsday...Thrillsday...Fuckday and Sexerday.:)

Sunday, we could leave as is, since all anybody would do is sleep:)

[xena]

Soooo....everyone has their own reason to not want to get out of bed on Monday. I personally try to think of it as New Years Day only instead of once a year it's once a week. So the fireworks is right on track Me, Margie. How about sparklers in the cake for breakfast Rita?
So what if you wake up with a champagne hangover next to someone you kissed at midnight Sunday? Life is short. Okay skip the cake if it makes it a legal thing and worst case scenario...pray the man next to you is not the Pastor.
Every Monday I wake up with all the resolutions I didn't get to the week before. Like "Get a job." or "Sell yourself on E-Bay." or "Clean the house." That last one is always on the list.
It used to be "Drag yourself to work." every Monday but now it's almost like a challenge. No work? No need to drag.
And that working your ass off for someone else like I did for 22 years so they can have a maid and a Jaguar sucks. If anyone is going to do the sucking it is going to be for me from now on!!! Not that that is how it is at TLC I hope, Margie.
The ball has dropped! Pop my cork day!
Just saying.

[Me, Margie]

Doc, you might be perfect. Are you single? And my cousin Rita wants to know if you were ever in Navy or could find a uniform (I added the uniform part - don't tell her but I really don't think she'll check creds).

Are you really a doctor? Because the problem there is those beepers can go off right when something else is about to, and then they have to leave. Yeah, I know, saving lives blah blah blah but seriously? I really don't like being left on the edge like that seriously.

[Doc in CA]

Margie,

I am married. Coming up on 13 years with my Sweet Angel.

I was, in fact, in the Navy from 1972 to 1976, but even if I still had the uniforms, they would not fit.

I'm not really a doctor. Doc is just a nickname.

And yes, I am perfect:)

[Cousin Rita]

Hey, Doc, the guys said to tell you "Ex Scientia Tridens."

I hope that isn't dirty.

[gaylin in vancouver]

Ex Scientia Tridens

from knowledge, seapower

don't ya love google

[Rocco]

Ciao Bellas!

Well, I guess I know who took the Trident from my Neptune Halloween Costume. And no, I do NOT want it back now, cuz.

I happen to adore Mondays because that is one of my only days off. My Salon is still closed Sunday and Monday. Some of these places are now open 7 days and that is just not right.

Cousin Rita - when you set up those laws, be sure to put that in - Thou shalt not force thy Stylist to work on Sunday or Monday.

Back to work on my tan!

Rocco

[Pam aka SisterZip]

I HATE MONDAYS!!!!!!!!

Rainy Days & Mondays always get me down.

I have been depressed as hell for days now.

[Fran]

I love Mondays, but then my work week is Tuesday through Saturday, so while the rest of the world is out being productive, I'm at home, reading and playing on the computer and generally resting up.

Well, except when I get emails from the shop asking questions. If I see an email from Seattle Mystery Bookshop, it's 50/50 whether there's something going on that no one can understand, or a new signing's been set up.

But I'm at home, and sometimes I don't "see" those emails for hours! I'm awful, I know.

I do, however, sometimes play "Just Another Manic Monday", just to smile because, for me, it isn't.

[Alan P.]

Tori Amos has an excellent version of "I Don't Like Mondays".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Don't_Like_Mondays

Don't think many guys would be against Monday morning BJs, unless their wives catch them getting one.

[Doc in CA]

Alan P, the wives would look forward to giving the Monday BJ, as long as their husbands gave them a bit of the old quid pro quo:)

Am I right, ladies? :)

[Harley]

Another reason not to like Mondays (not that anyone asked) is that a lot of really good restaurants are closed. And theatres are dark.

Unless you're a stage actor or a chef, in which case, Mondays are heaven.

[-V-]

So, DH would be all for Blow Job Mondays....I get through my Mondays best when I am on shift work and my Monday is actually my Friday and I'm off for four days.

[Kathryn Ashley]

I am so glad to now know what OCHFTS means! So i have never posted on here before and am a new TLC junkie and i love Mondays! I am a full time college student who babysits her 3 nieces on the weekends so, by Monday i am glad to be around adults again!

[storyteller Mary]

Kathryn, good to have you here (though not quite sure we qualify as adults . . . see yesterday's posts ;-)

[Avis]

Doc in CA, my old friend, the days of the week will never be the same for me again!

I can't remember, did you tell me the Doc came from Doc Savage?

Avis in NH

[storyteller Mary]

SisterZip, sorry you are bummed. We could meet for coffee and/or mayhem if that would help . . .

[Doc in CA]

Avis in NH, I've told so many lies about how I got the nickname, I can't recall what I told you. Probably the truth.