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April 07, 2009

When Adults Act Worse Than Kids....

When Adults Act Worse Than Kids....

By Sarah

Honestly, what has happened to all the grownups?

Baby huey Last week, I wrote about the a**holes emerging with the warmer temperatures and a few days later two parents took top prize at our school when they busted into a classroom in the middle of the day and proceeded to beat up a sixteen year old student and her teacher.

The best anyone can say about this situation is thank god they didn't have guns.

The trigger was a dispute over a stolen iPod. This resulted in some accusations being hurled back and forth among students, one of whom was the said child of these two geniuses. Rumor has it, she texted her parents in class and they got right on the stick to defend their child's honor by throwing punches. Brilliant, no?

Let me ask you something. At one point on the ride over the high school, wouldn't they have stopped and discussed whether this was the most reasonable course of action?

In their defense - and, trust me, I'm stretching to find a defense - they're not the only ones to act like kids lately. A few years back, a couple of parents threw high school parties where they mixed the drinks Disney princesses and hung out with the kids. Having just hosted an alcohol-free pretty princess eighteenth birthday party - no easy feat that - I'm here to testify that the last thing kids want are adults hanging around.

So what's the root cause of this reversal of behavior. Why are more adults acting like kids instead of kids aspiring to act like adults?

I have a few theories:

a) Lots of kids aspire to act like adults. They study, work hard, plan their future, even deny their wants. The problem is as they grow older they see that people who don't study, work hard, plan their futures or deny their wants often end up just as happy - or happier - with bigger houses, fancier cars and better tans. Where's the incentive?

b) A weird sense of privilege.

c) General stupidity.

d) Being an adult is an undervalued achievement these days. Hey, no one's trying to look older - unless they're underage. I have yet to meet a plastic surgeon who advertises his skill at adding crows feet and frown lines. Everyone wans to be young. So the message is.....

Adult e) Being an adult is hard. (See above.) Who wants to work, study, plan and save when the opposite is so much fun? Also, the step after adulthood is death. Better pretend to be young and die in a fiery crash going wayyy above the speed limit.

Lastly, here's another question I have....Anyone got a great trick for cleaning a burned pan? We're talking black, ground-in burnt sugar. So far, I've heard baking soda, dishwasher detergent, hydrogen peroxide, Bon Ami and oven cleaner. If you've tried those and they worked, please let me know! I wouldn't be exaggerating to say it's a matter of life or death.

Thanks for listening,




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I'm not believing this one. We could go on and on about sense of entitlement, about short fuses, about stress today, etc. but I cannot even find the words.

As far as your pan goes, Sarah, I've no idea if there's a shoreline nearby, but dry sand would knock that right out. Layer an inch or so of sand in the pan, heat for two minutes, scour the sand out, and it'll be perfect. (Old Boy Scout trick).

I am speechless. I think of my high school days (and yes, I can remember that far back!) and NEVER would any parent of any child I knew begin to act in such a fashion. I'm appalled.

Don't know about William's suggestion, but can't hurt to try, huh?

Another suggestion I found...
Any sheet of fabric softener works every time. Add hot water first, toss the sheet in and let it sit for a few hours or overnight. No stinky smell either.

put about 1" of water in the pan, dissolved 1 scoop of Oxyclean and about 2 Tbs of baking soda, then baked the pan until the water simmered for about 30 minutes. Fifty-year old roasting pan looks new and is not scratched!

The thing with the baking soda mixture seems to be that you have to heat it (either on top of stove or in oven)

Good luck. Let us know what worked!

I've seen too much childish behavior in adults lately and most of them are from the 'ME' generation. The world revolves around them or so they think, or rather, they don't really think at all.

I was taught to think before I act. Respect of people, their property, and elders was a given. Please and thank you were golden words, words I seldom hear today and I find that sad.

Once you get your pan semi-clean use some Bar Keepers Friend non abrasive cleanser on it to get it nice and shiny again.

My hubs works in law enforcement and there's seems to be a rash of idiotitis going on in the mean streets. I live in a rural community, so if my streets are mean, city dwellers, look out.

The parents that threw the drinking party and hung out like kids are a**holes! What fools gives a teenager a beer, mixed drink, or any type of alcoholic beverage knowing these children have had their licenses but a few tender years and their lives could be destroyed, gone, dead. I don't even like to be responsible for adult drinking! Even if they only get stopped, they could lose their licensing forever, ever try to find and keep a job if you can't drive? Who does that stupidity! Pull your heads out of your a** and grow up! This type of thing just burns my butt! I have my own children out there and I'd like them to come home safely to me. Phew! Glad I got that out of my system! Maybe there should be mandatory parenting classes? You know, as a college credit...How Not To Beat Up Teenagers In Your Kid's Class 101, When To Have A Party And Who Gets Alcohol 102. Do we need to have it spelled out?

As for the pan, heating it with baking soda and water has always worked and it would probably work better with the Oxyclean included, that stuff works on just about everything. I've also heard of William's solution, sons in boy scout, who knew I would learn something.

I want to be a cool parent, but I can't bring myself to do it. But then, I never was cool.

As for the pan, I can be an adult about that. I would buy a new one.

Then again, Josh's Pan Solution is not without merit....

For the pan.....try using Kosher Salt...make a paste of it and scub away. I also using boiling hot water...it make take a while, but it has done the trick for me..
as far as parents...with 4 kids ranging in age from 12 to 22....people in general have been behaving badly. They feel entitled, and self important...and don't understand the importance of raising their kids right. It's a difficult job, that never ends...good kids have gone the way of a strong family...insert heavy sigh....


Everyone, Tarts included, need to run out and grab a copy of Paul Levine's newest, ILLEGAL. Not as funny as his Solomon and Lord series, Jimmy 'Royal' Payne is our kind of Good Guy; he'd be a Man of the Blog without question.

Grab it. Read it. Trust me....

Ooh - I always love the books William suggests. Love the Royal Payne name.

Sarah, have you heard about the wonderful father in, um, Bethlehem, who had a stripper pole in his basement and let his son have drinking parties with cheerleaders?



As for the pan, I had a similar problem just a week or so ago, and boiled straight vinegar in it for a few minutes, let it sit a couple hours, and the burn ick came right out.

But I'm liking Josh's suggestion too.

Wow! Everybody's up early today! Me, too, waiting for Harley to arrive by taxi from the airport. (If you're in Pittsburgh, you'd better be at Mystery Lovers tonight!)

Sarah, I think some people truly believe high school was the peak of their lives. Beating up some kid in algebra class might have given them a brief, shining moment they never had back in the day.

As for the pan, I'm with Josh.

I LOVE that Bethlehem father/stripper pole story, although it's a bummer for him and his son that those Freedom cheerleaders didn't actually strip. I bet the Liberty girls would have. People who attend(ed) Freedom are just so darn unreliable.

I was sort-of planning to come out to Mystery Lovers, but I realized that I have a dentist appointment late this afternoon, scheduled six months ago.

And, last, I am glad to get some agreement on my pan cleaning method.

I've done the baking-soda-with-water and let it simmer for for a while. It works!

I'd love to try the sand, though!

Thumbs up on the baking soda trick. It's a keeper.

When my sister was in elementary school, there was a kid who was notorious for being an obnoxious bully. (That school went up to eighth grade, and I think this kid was at the top of the heap when this incident happened.) He and the Mr. Dougherty, the principal, saw an awful lot of each other. And this wasn't a "ha ha, you're a troublemaker but I know the deep down you're a good kid" kind of thing. This kid was plain mean. So was the rest of the family (though there was a younger sister who was actually supposed to be nice.)

The issue came to a head one day when the kid came to school wearing a shirt that said DOUGHERTY SUCKS. The principal, of course, was furious. I believe the kid was going to Get The Strap (yeah, I'm old). School called home, dad came to school, and walked in wearing - you guessed it - his very own DOUGHERTY SUCKS shirt.

Almost enough to make you feel sorry for the kid.

Kim and Aggie (on England's HOW CLEAN IS YOUR HOUSE) say to boil Cola in the pan for about five minutes and -- voila! Clean! (It worked on TV.)

I have no words for the parents unbelievable actions.

If the pan is stainless, straight bleach left over night. Black all gone, no work. Not great for the environment, but special circumstances?

Sarah, add softener sheets to water, boil, let stand overnight and then boil again. Keep at it for three or four days. That's my favorite recipe for wounded Calphalon.
I don't get this "my kid is always right" routine. I guess the jerky parents were brought up to believe they were always right.

Wow, I'm speechless about those idiot parents. In fact, they don't deserve the term parent. Good grief, what a life example to set for your kid. Conflict resolution? Beat the living hell out of all participants. Never mind that it's illegal, and it won't solve anything.

When my middle daughter was in high school, from sophomore year on, she went to a friend's house a lot to hang out. Sometimes a whole crew of kids ended up sleeping there, girls and boys, although I was assured that they were sleeping in different parts of the house. I had suspicions about what was going on, so one time I called to talk to the mom (husband is a doctor, by the way), and she refused to speak to me! In fact, she sounded very odd and practically hung up on me, despite the fact that my daughter was at her house. I later--much later--discovered that this couple, pillars of the community, were serving alcohol to their kids and to their kids' friends, as long as the friends stayed overnight. I was livid. The decision as to whether or not my daughter was allowed to drink (she was not) was taken away from me, her parent, by someone not even related. That was 8 years ago and I'm still steamed at this couple. Can you tell?

My parents would have gone to the principal about the stolen iPod, then punished me for taking it to school in the first place. They wouldn't have sued the school because I was stupid enough to take it to school.

I think I would have probably done the same thing...just not punished her. The "No iPod" would be enough punishment.

I see it everyday. Parents who think that their kid is the only kid in the school and deserve our undivided attention. Their needs trump everyone else's needs. We must talk to the kids. They are 18 and it is THEIR education. We actually had a mother grab one of our clerks by the chin and to redirect the attention back to her. "You will talk to ME!" The clerk replied that because of privacy laws and the student being 18, we must talk to them. If the student wanted to confer with his/her parent, that was fine. Should have seen her face!

Hmmm. What would a creative defense attorney say about this?

Maybe the crazy parents can't be held responsible for their actions because they were suffering from:

1) eating too many Twinkies?

2) a whacked-out case of Seasonal Affective Disorder?

3) an overdose of Ambien -- they thought were actually dreaming the whole thing. First, they got up in the middle of the night and wallpapered the garage, then they made some chocolate crepes, and finally they cruised down to the local high school to beat the tar out of one of the students. When they wake up, they won't remember a thing.

Or maybe something terrible happened to them that morning, so the ipod thing just sent them over the edge.

I once broke down crying in a mattress store. (I know you're thinking, "Mattresses? What's to cry about?")

I arrived a la rental truck to pick up the bed I'd ordered and paid for, and they were out of stock. It was two hours after I'd found out my brother had been killed in an accident. I was moving that day, and had to hurry up and unload the rental truck and dump all my stuff in my new apartment two hours away so I could catch a plane to the funeral.

So maybe, the crazy parents were on their way home from the mattress store when they stopped by the school.

Just a thought.


I'm so sorry, Lisa. That mattress story is....ugh. Very sad.

No. That's not the story of the crazy parents....Trust me.

> visitors can't enter the school without being "buzzed in," a greater >level of security
Someone was just telling me last week that locked doors with intercoms and buzzers are becoming more common in schools. It makes sense.

I'm all in favor of giving people the benefit of the doubt--see Lisa's mattress story--but sometimes an asshole is an asshole.

I used to work at a bank. Adults turn into toddlers when their money is involved. I have had check cards thrown at me, lemonade, too.

Baking soda and water works to clean the black stuff on my flat stovetop. It leaves a white residue, so you may have clean your pan again with regular soap. My dad, the science geek, says that the baking soda breaks up the carbon. That's what the black stuff is.


Good to see you back!

I would go the cola route for cleaning the pan. When I was being moved here at work, I discovered that somehow a container of syrup opened, spilled and dried to the bottom of one of the drawers. Ugh. I popped a can of diet coke and poured some on...let it fizzle...and when it is just like tan water, wipe it up. Repeat as necessary as the carbonation is what makes it work. And it did!!!

As for those parents? Ugh. But my dad almost did something like that at a school dance he was chaperoning...but only because I was on crutches and these bullies started to get physical.

Entitlement...so many kids nowadays think that they are entitled to whatever they want, regardless of whether or not they need it or the parents can afford it.

Mary and Cyndi, we missed you!

Lisa, I don't care what happened before they got to the school. To burst into a classroom and beat up a teacher? No excuse for such behavior, none whatsoever. I'm 100% sure that you did not resort to violence just because you were grieving and stressed. It's all about character.

Sarah, try simmering some cream of tartar in that pan. I don't know why it works, but it does.

Am I the only one who wants to hear about the pretty princess 18th birthday party?

And when I hear about those a-hole parents, it almost makes me nostalgic for our dopey former governor who thought it might be a good idea to let teachers have guns in school. My fellow teachers and I did think they could come in handy at parent conferences . . .


The Vermont Legislature overrode Governor Douglas's veto of the State's Same Sex Marriage Bill. The bill will now become law, making Vermont the first state in the Union to legalize same sex marriage via legislative act!

the pan--- if it is just burnt sugar, it will come out just simmering soapy water or fabric softener sheet. If there was any butter or grease involved it's more difficult. I've used Cameo stainless cleaner or Bar Keepers Friend. Cover the bottom with an inch or two of water, bring to a boil,then put the pan in the sink & sprinkle in a bunch of the powder & let sit overnight. pour the water out & use a scrubby sponge.
My daughter came home from school her freshman year with cuts on her hand. An a**hole on the bus had been slashing an exacto knife around, they were defensive wounds! The principal didn't seem too concerned or see the need to kick the kid off the bus till I told him I would ride the bus with my daughter ( with my mag lite & handcuffs), make a citizens arrest & have the bus deliver the little sucker to the PD where I would press charges!
The kid was off the bus the rest of the year. He only gave my daughter trouble once at school after that. She just laughed at him & told him "My mama can kick your ass!"

About the pan - try boiling a can of tomatoes in it. I don't know if this works ever time, but it did work the one time I tried it. Must be the acid. Alternatively soak vinegar in it. Also acid.

Good luck!

Do not do the tomato thing if it's an aluminum pan, FYI. Acid and aluminum react against one another and the pan will discolor.

Rita, you rock!

Then why do they call me a bitch, instead of an assertive, concerned parent?bwahahaha!
What is it with principals tho? They used to call the PD to do locker checks but when we found 1/2 lb of dope, THEY wanted to handle it when we should have made an arrest!
Guess you can't teach common sense!

It's me, Harley, here at Nancy's, and BTW terrified of her ergonomic keyboard. Sarah, horrible story. Lisa, dreadful mattress story. Condolences.

Is the pan some kind of lifetime warranty material? If so, send it to Calphalon or whomever, with a nice chatty letter and chances are good they'll send you a new one.

Yay, Vermont!


Look at our troops swarming our president when he paid them a surprise visit:


Ya gotta love this guy!

Karen, thanks for the hijack--what an amazing photo (I could probably see it more clearly if not for the tears in my eyes).

Oh...My....God. What a photo!

Thank you Karen!

YAY Vermont. Way to take a stand.

Short hi-jack
I'm giving away an ARC of NO LIMITS by Alison Kent. It's a BRAVA, so it's sexy, but very good. If you want a chance to win, go to my blog (Cynthiadalba.blogspot.com)

Now, back to bad parents and burnt pans!

I made the photo my desktop image, I'm so happy about it!

Pam, thanks. Texas was terrific (warm, cold, warm -- great stories!) and Cape Girardeau on Saturday was lovely . . . and more great stories.

AND, there's an offer on the condo, now my counter-offer, and I hope we find grounds for agreement, because I'm tired of owning two homes . . .

Oh, Mary, I'll keep my fingers (and toes) crossed for you!

I wonder whether the parents who are acting immature now are the same ones who were in a rush to grow up when they were teenagers -- maybe they're trying to find out what they missed.

I listened to _Nineteen Minutes_ en route to and from Texas. My FHN book club will be discussing it soon -- many issues about (ir)responsible behaviors in schools. A friend has it on her anti-bullying bibliography.

Thanks, Karen. My eco-broker says they have until 7 tomorrow to respond to my (very reasonable) counter-offer.

Adults in the modern day are under tremendous stress. The U.S. economy stinks, their backs are being broken financially by the Federal Reserve System and its counterfeiting and money laundering operations, which have literally destroyed the value of the U.S. Dollar.

Under the bogus war on terror, Americans are being subjected to the most egregious violations of their privacy as a result of the domestic satellite spying and predation being conducted within the military industrial intelligence complex in this country.

So is it any wonder why they'd like to take a swing at anyone who gets in their face?

The point here is that when you start behaving worse than your teenager, it's time to evaluate why you are doing so, and take steps to remedy the situation.

These people are simply overwhelmed by the total destruction of their right to be left alone.

This often results in their regressing to the point of adolescence. However, when the leadership in the United States behaves in the same vein, and in efforts to obscure their own criminality,

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