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February 13, 2009

This. Is. TLC. Jeopardy!

This. Is. TLC. Jeopardy!

By Kathy Sweeney

Blog Jeopardy Teen I hardly ever watch Jeopardy any more - unless someone clues me in that it's the Teen Tournament, which I love.  Makes me feel smart.  Online tryouts, by the way, are February 24th, if you know a teen.  And no, the fact that you ACT like a 13-year-old does not mean you qualify.  Gentlemen, I think you know who I'm talking to here.

Got to thinking - what would be my perfect Jeopardy categories?  I think there was an episode of "Cheers" like this - where Cliff Claven hit the motherload of Jeopardy choices.

My Jeopardy Categories would look something like this:

Blog caddyshack Oreos
Christmas Music 
Mystery Novels With No KidJep
Your 1971 Pittsburgh Pirates (no drugs, just studs)
Katie Scarlett O'Hara

Then, there's Double Jeopardy, where the scores can really change:

Romance Novels of the early 21st Century
Weird Stuff they taught in 1970s RC Catechism (P.S.  Did you know Indulgences are making a come-back?)
Potent Potables in Copper Mugs
Halloween Music
Substitutes for Curse Words (P.S.  Lent starts next week and I plan to make my annual attempt to quit swearing)
Would That Be Murder? (Based on a game developed in my first BusLaw 1 Class)

And what if we had a TLC Jeopardy Game?  The Categories might include:

Bumper Stickers
Blog Topics that Got Sarah in Trouble, and Why We Love Her
Josh's Favorite Search Terms
Best Bond

Get the idea?  Let's turn our luck around this Friday the 13th - please share your personal Jeopardy dream list and help add to our TLC Topic List.

And for those of you having winter doldrums, take heart!  Ladies and Gentlemen, today pitchers and catchers report for Spring Training!  Yippee!

This weekend on TLC:
The 2009 VDCD
Dancing With the (cough) Stars 2009


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Margie's 10 Commandments
Animal House
Things Dear Hubby couldn't put away if it bit him in the ass
Excuses Dear Daughter uses not to work on thesis

Will think of more later...

Kathy, did you mean cough or couch?

Hmmm...my categories would be...

Things Guys Do That Piss Women Off
Stubborn Basset Hounds
Book Collecting Addiction
Female Breasts & Butts
Obscure Science Fiction & Horror Movies
Creative Uses Of Common Curse Words

I think I could ace all of those:)

That's the spirit!

Got one via e-mail:

People Who Should Never Be Allowed on TV Again

I'm proud to claim Jeopardy level expertise in:

Walt Disney World
Things Pastors do to Avoid Sermon Writing.
Moody Folk Music
Childhood Illnesses.
Pasta Shapes.
70's Soap Operas
Cooking Shows (pre-Food Network)
Cary Grant Movies
Presbyterian Polity

Great blog, Ms. Kathy.

Philadelphia Eagles' Draft Busts 1980-2008
(a.k.a. Kenny Jackson instead of Louis Lipps?

Excuses students give for not having homework
Cheap wine
Green Bay Packers (Brett Favre Era)
60s pop song lyrics
Irritating habits of ex-husbands (I only have one but he's a classic)
Bullshit detector (teen age version)

Sexual positions that sound good but don't work

The Thin Man Trivia

Reasons Daniel Craig is the best Bond

I'll check back for more!

Contractor Delusions
Big Corporate Language Translation
(going forward, we will interface...)
Stupid Things Other Drivers Do
Why Kids Rock
Creative Recession Cutbacks
NCLB Implementation Stupidities

And for real?? Indulgences?? Tell me you're joking. Guess I'll remain a heretic. I keep hoping they'll improve and I can return...

Happy Friday!

Kathy, one of the categories on last night's Jeopardy was "Gone With the Wind - The Book"! Kinda spooky that you put "Katie Scarlett O'Hara" as one of your categories. By the by, the contestants avoided that column like the plague and the timer ran out before they could finish the category -- I was extremely disappointed, and the contestants all looked relieved.

Topics I would kick butt in, aside from "Gone With the Wind - The Book" include:

- Baby Poop Consistency
- Shedding Labradors
- Spotting Misuse of the Word "Literally"
- Fretting about Cleaning the Bathroom Without Actually Doing It
- NPR Programming Schedule

I can only come up with one this morning, since I'm doing everything except writing:

Ways to Procrastinate

I'll take Blogs Worth Reading for 500.00, Alex

Strange Women Allowed to have 14 Babies
Bartlett vs. Obama: Myth vs. Reality
Nora, Jennifer, Laura, and Maddie

Books by Agatha Christie
Camp Songs
Magnum P.I.
Southern Slang
Barry Mannilow Songs

I defer to smr33 on Presbyterian Polity, although I might try the Book of Church Order for $500, Alex...

Kung Fu Editing

To the Wire Writing

Book Promotion Trips

Book Conferences

Author Awards

Moving from Mid-list to Bestsellerdom


Here is another set I got via e-mail for the TLC Jeopardy Game. (Apparently, some people can't post at work, which I think may be Unconstitutional):

Ralph and Elaine
Ramona and Craig
Michele and Clive
(Insert any male TLC Member) and Mrs. Peel

If we ever do have another TLC get-together, we have to play this.

My brain won't come up with catchy categories, but I have to say I treasure Cliff's answer to Final Jeopardy on the Cheers show.

Answer: What do X, Y and Z (sorry, I forget the names of famous people cited) have in common?

Cliff's Question: Who are three people who have never been in my kitchen?

They wouldn't give him credit for that answer, even though it was true.

I would also do well on Barry Manilow songs
Tourist Sites in Portland Oregon
Mystery Writers Past & Present
Things a Cross-Dresser wears
Music of the '60s

Great topic...I'd think of more, but I have to tackle writing a synopsis and my brain cells are tired :o(

Anything about Sewing, for $1000, and pray for the Daily Double
Marketing 101
Honda Models, 1976 to present
Nuns & Priests in the 50's and 60's
Computer operating systems, 1983 to present
Kitchen Design Facts

And to steal unabashedly from Catherine: Fretting about Exercising Without Actually Doing It

TLC-only variety:

Other Jobs of Tarts
TLC Cocktails (thanks to Cyndi!)
List, Midlist & Backlist Titles

Gone With The Wind
Highlander: The Series
Highlander: The Movies
Patrick Dennis books

How could I forget The Scarlet Pimpernel?!

Sink me!

I'd give William a run for his money on his last category. Which of us has the fastest buzzer thumb??? Huh? Huh?

Cats we love to hate
Correct uses of me and I
Things to do in airports while waiting for a flight

TLC Authors
Stalking ...in a good way

I agree with the Highlanders, GWTW, and anything music related...

SusanB? Big Corporate Language Translation
(going forward, we will interface...) LOL! I was thinking more on the line of:
Decifering Corporate Bullsh*t

Why Vista Sucks
Why Do Insane People Appear on Letterman?
Marie Antoinette Never Said, "Let Them Eat Cake!" and other Misquoted Quotes
Blagojevich's World Tour of Shame

I would actually like to know Josh's favorite search terms. Is there a fee for this?

People that Never should have been on TV in the first place.

Nancy Drew
Blues Greats
The Lucy Show
Car trips with Kids

Who are the meanest cousins in the world?
Answer: Margie and Rocco

I watched Jeopardy one time. It made my head hurt.

Ramona, most of those are bookmarked, no need to search. Plus, there's autofill in my browser, so I can type the term, say, "Miss South Carolina," into my url box, or whatever it's called, and get the infamous YouTube video, such as.

An Offer You Can't Refuse (Godfather Trivia)
I Did Not Have Sexual Relations With that Woman (Bill Clinton trivia)
Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc (West Wing trivia)
I'm Not a Lawyer but I Play One on TV

Ohio's native plants
Star Wars
LEGO trivia

Catherine - just you wait, you'll have that last one, too. It's just a matter of time.

Xena (and, by extension, Gabrielle)

Babylon 5


Don't Try This At Home: Strange and Wonderful Sex Habits of Non-Human Animals

Charles Darwin (200 years old yesterday!)

gotta have

TLC bumper stickers

Ask Me, Margie
How guys get 'tennis' elbow
TV crime dramas
It isn't brain surgery (for Elaine LOL)
Dead end jobs

Ohhhh, news flash! Michael Jackson is in the hosp, getting IV antibiotics for an infection after cosmetic surgery on HIS NOSE!!!
There's another catagory!
Black or White (what color was MJ when he did these songs!)

I thought he didn't have a nose anymore.

I used to love to watch Jeopardy, but I haven't in a few years. Here's a couple of mine:

When Does Its have an Apostrophe
How to Drive in Snow
Seeking and Cleaning Dog Accidents in Your House
Country Music Singers and Songs
Imaginative Ways to Store Books

Laura and I would probably have a strong competition on the Country Music Singers and Songs category.

I'd also ace: Useless Starlets who Should Be Wearing Underwear

Stars You've Never Heard of and Who They're Dating

3 billion ways to be prepared for a hurricane or other natural disaster, like your family

7 trillion excuses kids give to not get up for school.

How to Annoy Homeland Security

Godfathers (I and II only)
tricks for memorizing lines
lesser-known roles played by D. Craig
how to find & remove ticks on large furry dogs
Star Trek (TV, original Kirk/Spock version only)

Apostrophes should have their own category.

Yow, for MJ and his "nose". He can get lumped into the category of Residents of Crazytown, like the octuplet mom, Joaquin Phoenix, and some of those starlets without drillies.

And how about: Famous People who Have Had WAY too Much Plastic Surgery

Diets we have tried, and failed
What's that sound coming from my car? (Audio daily double.)
Teenage TV crushes
The Check's in the Mail (Famous lies)
The Smell in Margie's Desk.

Great blog!

Most Inconvenient Times for Headcolds

HGTV programming schedule

Buffy Trivia

Jane Austen Trivia (juvenalia excepted)

Reasons why TLC can't fire Her, Margie, and I'm not talking about her collection of blackmail photos.

Barbie is 50! (OMFG!)
Ways to avoid working for 8 hours
Stephen King trivia
Quotable Movies

Next Friday you should pick catagory out and let us come up with as many questions & answers possible.

All the above are so funny, especially Sarah's audio daily double! Okay, here are mine:

- Borrowing one of SisterZip's - Excuses my friends and I made for not doing our theses (or when do you actually CHOOSE to clean your house)
- What is that growing in my refrigerator
- How to kill houseplants 101
- Cozy mysteries from 1998 to present
- Neighborhoods in DC
- Businesses in Annapolis MD - new and closing
- Things I can't find in my closet
- Famous redheads

Ooooooh! For all of you St. Louis Cardinal fans, in honor of the pitchers & catchers reporting to spring training tomorrow....

Broken down Pitchers
Free agents allowed to get away
Excuses for not spending money.


thanks for the reminder Pam! I have to get the baseball bedspread & Cardinals pillowcases I made on the bed.

(Courtesy of DH)
Southern Rock
Why NFL Referees Suck
Male Emissions
Where did rock'n'roll go?

Movies Where Daniel Craig Appeared Nude

(Can that be a Video question? Please?)

Soooo.... you all have pretty much covered any topics I'd be able to answer. A mind is a terrible thing to waste.
I liked the beachfla Barry Manilow category. When I go to Karaoke we all know all the songs...well because he wrote all the songs that make the whole world sing.
Any questions on sewing, knitting, crocheting and handwork. Natch.
And Kerry so what do you know about being the Princess Warrior...eh?
I don't know if any of you know the Frick & Frack of auto shows from Chicago but Car Talk is one of my faves Sarah.
I'd do well with:
Dance Talk
Broadway Musicals
Movie Musicals
Lost in Space Trivia (Penny was the best!)
Dialogue from Star Wars and Indiana Jones
"Snakes...why did it have to be snakes?"
(I'm saying that currently with the Medusa headpiece BTW)
And Anita Bryant
Woah! do I know a lot about her since costuming 1000 Homos!
Just saying.

Guns and Ammo
X-Files Trivia
Buffy Trivia
80s Heavy Metal Bands
80s Slasher Flicks

I second Pam’s idea of choosing a category and letting us come up with questions and answers.

And could we add Ramona’s suggestion of a video question?

Things Josh Admits

Things Josh Denies (But Sarah Saw)

Things She, Margie Denies (But Rocco or Rita Saw)

Etc., Etc.

Nesting Materials of the Blackbird Sisters

Self-Sufficiency and the Unemployed Greeting Card Designer

Sweet/Sour Love

In Missouri or in Florida?

I Object (Things that will or won't block your opponent in court)!!

Agent Inquiries and Cover Letter Crimes

Manuscript Crimes and Misdemeanors

Unconventional Convention Conventions

Will 'Dance Talk' include an answer about dancing penis's? (penii?)

Frogs or Princes would be a good catagory

I've recorded the frog, and the Apple geniuses taught me how to make it into an mp3. I can now e-mail photos and sound files of my frog, Prince!

Wellll....I suppose it's what you would ask them to do Rita. The Peni I mean. A Tour Jete? I'd like to see that happen. There was this late night show on the TV (where the TARTS are banned in hotels I believe) in Chicago on one of the trade shows I worked where men were making all kind of "things" out of their penis. I wouldn't call that actual Dance Talk but it was amusing. If you have nothing to do with your penis but art forms. (pay attention Me, Margie) Kind of like balloon sculptures actually. Amazing.
Men are always so creative. I'll wait for the prince.
Just saying.

Ooh, can I second the
"Why NFL Referees Suck" category?

(And what are they sucking btw? Cannot they at least digest their sucking stuff while at, say, a party instead of while at a sporting match?)

Sorry - it's the two beers I had tonight. No tolerance.

I'd add "Go O's!" to the baseball spring theme, but even I don't believe in that pipe dream (pun intended)

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

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