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February 15, 2009

Dancing With the (Cough) Stars 2009

Dancing With the (cough) Stars 2009

Blog DWTS Calendar Cover By Kathy Sweeney

Okay, I have to confess -  I watch this show.  It's the closest thing to Reality TV I can handle, except maybe I'm halfway hooked on "Top Chef" (thanks, Susan) and I never miss a "Food Network Challenge". Of course, there was that period where I was loving "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" but it's not on any more, except the repeats on FLN, and I've seen them all.

But back to Dancing With The (cough) Stars.  This week, they announced the 2009 Line Up:

  •  Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson
  •   Country singer Chuck Wicks (who is dating and will dance with pro Julianne Hough)
  •   Model/actor Gilles Marini (Samantha's hot neighbor from the Sex and the City Movie) 
  •   Denise Richards (were I her partner, I'd wear gloves just saying - I mean, does anyone REALLYwant to share, uh, space with Charlie Sheen?)
  •   Apple Co-Founder Steve (the "Woz") Wozniak (my pick for the first one out, unless Lil'Kim's implants cause her to fall repeatedly, she violates parole, or LT blows a gasket) 
  •   80s pop star Belinda Carlisle, 
  •   Rodeo star (and Man of the Square Table) Ty Murray and his wife, 
  •   Jewel (she's a singer)
  •   Comedian David Alan Grier (LOVE him and Chocolate News)
  •   Rapper Lil Kim (the first ex-con to compete, perhaps?  Will the officials be checking her implants for the new musical iTit technology?)
  •   Lawrence ("L.T.") Taylor, former linebacker for the New York Giants
  •  Jackass star Steve-O (that's their description, not mine, and he may be the second felon to make the show) and 
  •   Access Hollywood correspondent Nancy O’Dell.  
Blog karina-and-maksim-engaged Plus, two of the pros - Karina and Maxim - are engaged!! For real!  It happened on New Years' Eve already - try to keep up, people.  Guess she's over Mario, NTS.  That wedding is going to be better than a Bollywood musical.  Wonder if they will tango down the aisle?

Sooo - lots of intrigue with the couples competing against or with eachother.

Some questions are obvious:
What the devil happened to Donny Osmond?  I was promised Donny Osmond, and ever since Michael Jackson started jumping from car to car on the crazy train, Donny is really the only childhood crush we have left.   Does Marie know?
After the fiasco with Misty May, one would think the USA Olympic Committee would make this show a banned substance.  What's up with that? Does Bela know?
Someone from the 'Jackass' show?  Does Joe Lieberman know?

I, for one, am disappointed with the lineup. How about you? Who would YOU like to see dancing?

How about a Saturday Night Live Alumni show? Who wouldn't love to see Will Farrell and Cheri Oteri share a stage again? (Side note - forget the Cheerleaders bits - it's the Morning Latte skits that slay me).

An all-Ice line-up. Can we get Dick "That sit-spin was simply Luscious" Button? Tonya ("If I can't skate, I'll box") Harding and Nancy Kerrigan rematch? Then add Wayne Gretzky and Mario Lemiuex. Really desperate? I'll bet Vanilla Ice has got a pretty open schedule. (See what I did there?)

Blog Dance Gere Or, you can suggest any individual. How about Ray Romano or Brad Garrett - you know DWTS loves a goofball. Richard Gere (hel-loh? That scene in "Shall We Dance" is enfuego.) Sally ("Sr. Bertrille") Fields?

Put on your dancin' shoes, TLC, and tell us which "stars" you'd like to dance with.


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Another guilty secret....don't think I'll catch this one. Too strange.

Only one more day for the www.mysterylovers.com free shipping week-end.........come on folks....make mine sweet!

All right, let's get some of the givens onto the record. Clive. Daniel. Pierce. Sir Sean. No, no, happy to save your electrons.

As for others . . . Claudia Black. She has rhythm and musicality as well as a good sense of humor. She studies yoga, so she's got stretch.

From 'Leverage (now between production orders so they should be available),' Christian Kane and Gina Bellman. Chris is a musician and martial artist; the boy can move his feet! And Gina . . . well. Can there be any doubt?

Scott Bakula danced well in 'Leap' once or thrice. I do believe he spent his early years in the Muni chorus in STL.

Myself, I still think Stacy Keebler was misjudged and mis-scored. It cost her the Fabulous Disco Ball Trophy (assuming the size of Drew's posse was insignificant in the phone voting). What, watch the show much? Why, no. Hardly at all. Why do you ask?

I'd have to go with John Travolta. He's every good girl's dream of a bad boy. Yum.

Could have a Scientologists season. Travolta. Cruise (underwear, dress shirt, and socks, only, please). Zombie Katie. There's lots of others, but those are the ones that come to mind. Juliette Lewis? Danny whathisname from That '70's Show? Kirstie Alley?

Kathy, two blogs, back-to-back? The Tarts are lucky to have you take the heat off this weekend, and we backbloggers are happy to have you, period. I hope everyone had a good VD. I drank WAY too much good wine. There's a reason to stay in practice.

I heart Dancing with the (well-placed cough) Stars, and make my husband watch it with me every season. But most of the time I have zero clue who those so-called stars are until their bios have been pounded into my brain, over and over again. One phenomenon I've noticed is that we can pretty much predict the winner on Day One. It's usually close up til the end, but almost every time we've been right about who would take home the disco ball.

So many people have said they want to be on that show. It's sort of amazing that they still have to scrape the bottom of the celebrity barrel. I guess it comes down to whose publicist offers the best bribes, er, I mean package. That show has revived some totally flat careers, after all. Marie Osmond comes springing to mind.

I don't watch this show, but I'm wondering how Ty Murray can possibly dance after getting thrown, stomped and otherwise mulitated by bucking bulls. (My alltime favorite: Little Yellow Jacket. See below.) I mean, I've seen the way Ty drags himself up out of the sawdust. I may have to tune in!


Ummm....Pierce Brosnan. Even though he's shorter than I am. Even though he can't sing worth a damn. Still...Pierce Brosnan is my eye candy. Met him at an airport once while we were both waiting for luggage. Haven't washed that hand yet. So, maybe I should have said "YUMmmmmmmmm...Pierce Brosnan.

Stephen Colbert
Alan Shore and Denny Crane
A West Wing season

All the James Bonds, with their choice of Bond Girls for partners.

THAT would be an event!

My new personal motto: "Some Age.... Others Mature...."


I love these suggestions. I'd watch Christian Kane do anything.

I am a bit disappointed by this season's stars (I, too, heard Donny Osmond), but I do know and like some of them (Jewel, Chuck Wicks), so I'm looking forward to it. And the couples with and against each other thing should provide some interest.

Hmm, I'll take any of the ones mentioned above, but who can I add...

Tom Selleck (I'd watch him do anything too)
A Star Trek season
A Friday Night Lights season (Man, some eye candy there, on both sides)

Yum, Tom Selleck! .. .maturing quite well . . .

Hmmm Jon Stewart, Pauley Perrette from NCIS, Brian Urlacher (da bears),Harley Jane Kozak (because I think she could kick some serious butt)Timothy Hutton(I just got hooked on Leverage on TNT)and Helen Mirren
Of course my dream team would be Me, Margie and Maks!

Mary Alice, I bought my books on Friday and they are on their way. Christian Kane, he would definitely be a treat to watch and then there is Tom Selleck, ahhhh. How about French Stewart, "Gary doesn't Lie" from the Closer, and from Third Rock from the Sun. Did anyone ever see him dance on that show. What moves.

Off-topic, sorry - Mary Alice, is there a coupon code for the free shipping weekend? I put in my order and it comes up with regular shipping costs.

Also, I'd like to heartily second the Helen Mirren idea. That would be SO much better than the Cloris Leachman debacle.

I love the choices. This season I will catch up on my reading and my sleep. YAWN. Hey---how about the Lipstick Chronicles ladies? Now THAT would help to make a season!!!!!

If Kathy would do it, I'd do it. No, on second thought, it's all of us or none of us.

Tom Selleck and Pierce Brosnan would be yummy picks. I also thought Donny Osmond was going to be on this season, promises not kept.

For my personal yum fest, I would choose Timothy Dalton, love the bond guys including Sean Connery, but not so much Roger Moore.

I would love to see a Star Trek or a CSI season...too cool.

Book Tarts get ready, I sure the producers will be contacting you.

Oh, put me in the camp who would love to watch Christian Kane. Sigh... :) Donny Osmond has said that if he does "Dancing," it would be the season in the fall, not the one starting next month, so there's still hope. I don't watch the show but would watch for Donny.

Oh, I forgot to mention Simon Baker of the Mentalist...yummy too.

Ladies and Gents, as I catch up on a week's worth of TLC (brilliant, as always), I'm a bit astonished that none have put their own names up for Dancing . . . although I second the Book Tarts, for sure, there's a tiny part of my not-altogether-dance-ready self that would love to spend weeks of six hours a day dancing and receive the benefit (great new body, renewed cardiovascular system!) thereupon. Not to mention, of course, the satisfaction of winning . . . . The partner, though . . . hmm. He'd have to be available, so that cuts out Bon Jovi, Pierce B., Sting . . . hmmm. Further thought required.

I wasn't aware there was a fall season of this till Donny wasn't listed. then a friend told me.

Scott Bakula, last I heard, was in the middle of three episodes of Chuck
was he in the chorus, or was it just that time he did Man of La Mancha. I'm not always clear on the long ago details.

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