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May 20, 2007

Not a Blog About Paris Hilton

No, really, this blog isn't about Paris Hilton.  Go to fullsize image

It's about you, dear reader, and your creative mind.

See, we hear that Paris is "distraught" Go to fullsize image  over being sentenced to jail for driving without a license despite numerous attempts to tell her such driving is Bad. She even signed a statement saying that she understood a police officer's warning about this Bad Behavior.  But still, she continued to drive and---yep, now she's going to jail.

Not for the originally scheduled 40-some days, but a reduced sentence of 21 days.  This sentence, in case you've been living under a rock, was reduced for her Good Behavior.

Now, we here at the offices of TLC have confidence that our regulars can come up with an appropriate punishment for Miss Hilton.  (Or her relatives.--Feel free to pick one.)  For whichever of her crimes you think is most punishable.    Go to fullsize image

                    Go to fullsize image

C'mon, we want to hear you at your most devious.


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Make her do without the makeup and hairstylist for a Whole month? Make her actually work in the kitchen of the jail while she is there? I like the I think it was the Gov. of Arizona who offered to let her do her time in his prison tent city. His prisons are so overcrowded that he has tent cities going at some of his prisons. That'll teach ya to drive around without a license.

Make her live anonymously for one month.

Force feed her McDonalds for a year until she blimps up to 300 pounds, then place a pillow over her face until she quits breathing. She's using up more and more precious oxygen every day with her uselessness. Failing that, she should have to Iraq--or some other war/disease-torn area--as a nurse. I think it's going to take something dramatic like that to turn her into a useful compassionate human being.

Here is my devious plan for Paris Hilton. Ready?....... Make her serve her full punishment for the crime she commited !!! I dont want to smother her, I dont care if she wears makeup, or even if she cant take her stupid dog with her. She is just like everyone else who breaks the law! Besides what makes her so special? Her family has money? What makes her be able to drive drunk, put all the not so wealth people in danger? Is the justice system saying if you have money you dont have to pay the price of being stupid like everyone else? WAIT !! Why am I asking stupid questions? Of course if you have money you dont!!!! I think history has proven that one. Just look at Chappaquiddick. Geez, I shouldnt get this upset at 5:30am. NOT GOOD GRRRRR

See you in church SusanCo!

So many choices...first and foremost, Amen SusanCo.

But all in fun:

1. Put her in a Cleveland Browns jersey and make her clean the restrooms at Heinz Field for a full season of Steeler games.

2. Shave her head and make her go all natural - hair, makeup, everything.

3. Put her in a real minimum wage job (night shift maintenance at a hospital, perhaps) and force her to live only on her wages.

The right roomie in prison would be a just punishment. I can think of a few women I prosecuted who would deliver appropriate comeuppance.

make her serve her full sentence with no make-up or designer clothes like the normal people. and then when she is out of jail make her walk everywhere she wants to go or take public transportaion to get there. No limos or personal cars. make her realise what its like to be normal.

ok, its not like she can't afford a limo driver, so why was she driving if she didn't have a valid license??? Stoopid!

Have her graduate from high school--------------she's the real poster child for the perils of being a high school dropout!

What if she had to become completely "normal" - no mentions in the press, on television, on blogs, nothing. Not heard from for, oh, let's say six months. That would be a punishment for her, and, a huge relief for the rest of us.

I believe being in a freeway cleaning crew for several weeks would be just. Sorry Pookie but you are not above the law. I also think think her parents need to go to a parenting with tough love bootcamp.

Everyone already took mine.

One really nice punishment is that all the proceeds from her increased fame, and the reality show that's likely to result from it ("Celebrity Jail!") have to benefit all the victims of drunk drivers.

Good one, Harley.

I'll paraphrase that guy from Stratford - "The fault lies not in our celebrities, but in ourselves and those damn managing editors who pander to our envy."

Harley, excellent idea. It's fair, appropriate and even falls within current law.

It's been said, but I think she should be forced to perform some mind-bendingly boring job for a year and live on the lowly proceeds in some crappy apartment with clothes from Sears and a haircut from Supercuts and once every six months a $10 manicure from the Koreans.

Unfortunately the single most unbelievably boring job I've ever had doesn't exist anymore--I spent a whole summer TYPING insurance policies--complete with a dozen carbons! We got 1/2 hour for lunch and two 15 minute breaks and they kept track of how often you went to the bathroom! It would be perfect, but computers have made it obsolete!

i like this part of the blog:".

Not for the originally scheduled 40-some days, but a reduced sentence of 21 days. This sentence, in case you've been living under a rock, was reduced for her Good Behavior." is very good

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