Here Comes the Judge

Here Comes the Judge

By Rebecca the Bookseller

Let's face it - most people are schmucks. Present company excluded, of course. I'm talking about the rest of the people. People are bound to disappoint us, in every way imaginable. Why is that? Do we set our expectations too high? Is it just a counterbalance to the rampant cynicism that surrounds us?

How should I know? I'm asking you.

I think a big part of the problem is our human tendency to pass judgment. No one is better (which means worse, in the global sense) at this than the overtly religious types. Some of them will even start out with "You know I don't judge people..." Look out. That means they are going to tear somebody to shreds. Taken to the extreme, these are the same people who start wars based on allegedly religious reasons. I am no world religions scholar, but other than some of the multi-diety schools of thought, which actually have gods of war, I don't know of a divine being that encourages murder.

And don't try hiding behind political labels or banners either - this is not about any particular person or any particular party. Killing people is bad. See, I'm passing judgment right there. In point of fact, if someone hurt one of mine, especially my children, I wouldn't be able to kill them fast enough to suit my sense of justice.

And don't pull the religious denomination lever either - this crosses all lines. I don't care what building you enter to worship, or whether you do it in the woods, or under water or wherever or never. Most people are moral people, or at least they try to be. That's not what I'm talking about.

This is about people presuming to tell the rest of us how we should behave. This is about people who hold themselves out as the gold standard of humanity and exhort the balance of us to shape up. This is about, for example, people who condemn homosexuality, or condemn people who believe in a different god than they do, or discard as worthless people who 'don't smoke the same cigarettes as me'. The way it breaks down, if you don't agree with these people, you're damned - metaphorically or otherwise.

Many of these people are charming and seductive. They attract many followers who are eager to do their bidding, and buy their books, or their protein drinks, or whatever. Which leads to more judging from the non-followers, who then conclude that the whole pack of them are nuts.

So now we're all in a big judgemental cluster you-know-what. It makes me tired and sad. Or maybe it's just these days of long shadows that make me feel discouraged.

The other thing is that this is THE Season. Such great expections of tidings and comfort and joy and so forth, where every scene has the ending of a Lifetime made-for-TV special. For people who are lonely, or depressed or otherwise unhappy, this is the toughest time of the year. For people who feel obligated to spend time with their families, regardless of how painful that might be, it's downright brutal. And for families separated by time and distance and other barriers, it's beyond bittersweet.

Which brings me back to the whole disappointment conundrum. And being simple creatures at our core, we're all looking for a way to feel better. Reading good books makes me feel better. Whether they make me laugh or smile or sizzle or puzzle or cry, they make me feel hopeful. Good writing will do that - no matter what form it takes - movies, TV, newspapers, magazines, plays, songs - it's all about the words. Words can be the most powerful tool we have for building hope. And heaven knows we need more hope up in this place these days.

So what books - or what else - give you hope?

Comments

[William Simon]

Jean Shepherd. (No matter what, Family is Everything)

William Shakespeare. (Say what you will, the man had a facility for language that has never been equalled)

Robert Crais. (Early novels felt like pastiches of Robert B. Parker, but Crais turned his attention to the Human Condition disguised as a PI novel, and has consistently knocked me out of my chair with his past four novels)

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. ('Nuff said)

Charles Dickens. (Cliched, but nothing says Hope Is Good like Tiny Tim in A CHRISTMAS CAROL.)

[JJ]

I'm glad you said it, Rebecca. This time of year is like a race that goes on too long. People get all stressed out trying to have too good a time and end up miserable.

I am looking forward to snow and XC skiing - it is quiet and calm and it keeps me going through the rest of the artificial things.

Other than that, I read The Onion or Dave Barry or you.

[Josh]

That my shrink will allow me to increase my dosages of Xanax and Paxil--and that my insurance will pay for it.

[Sue L]

Forget two chickens in every pot. I'm with Josh - a script of Xanax in every stocking.

Great post and so true.

[Nancy]

OMG, I'm reading Richard III right now, and it's still so meaningful--especially in these current times. But hope? I dunno. Those who don't read history----or Shakespeare's interpretation of it---are doomed to repeat it?

[sarahS]

Rebecca - Let's get you one of those "sunlight" lamps to read a book under. That might spike your melatonin. But, ultimately, you're right. As always. People LOVE telling other people what to do. Fortunately, everyone (George Clooney excepted) is human and we all have to battle our human desires. (Rev. Ted Haggard.)

As for books that cheer me up, whenever I get down or can't sleep, I pull out James Thurber. I dunno. I just like him. Sophie Kinsella always, always cheers me up. Louise Rennison does the same for my daughter. We both like well-meaning, VERY flawed female protagonists who are doing the best they can and who fall flat nevertheless. So much more fun than a character with whom God is pleased.

Great post as usual!

[Harley]

P.G. Wodehouse. THe plays of Tom Stoppard, esp. ARCADIA. And all my blog sisters.

[beachfla]

Well put, Rebecca. I guess I shouldn't rant about Bush's appointment of someone who is against birth control and sexuality education as head of family planning for our nation under the "morality police" heading, eh? Okay. Okay. Books that uplift. "Traveling Mercies" by Anne Lamott. Anything written by Eudora Welty.

[Nancy]

Harley, I love ARCADIA! I felt as if I understood the math--until I walked out of the theater, of course. But a wonderful play.

BTW, there's a cute and inspirational writer's blog over at Working Stiffs today: http://www.workingstiffs.blogspot.com/

[ramona]

Nancy Mitford! Nancy Mitford! Nancy Mitford!

[michele]

Very intense blog, Rebecca. You said everything I've been feeling lately but you said it better than I ever could.

When I think about hope, I think about the future, and I think about my kids. It gives me hope that young people are reading. The books they are choosing to read also give me hope. For example -- the Lemony Snicket series, because it assumes that language is important. For a younger audience, the series by Mary Calhoun about Henry the Cat. Henry is musinderstood, a loner, an iconoclast, but he's really smart and capable. He always triumphs in the end, never quite gets the recognition he deserves, but he finds that the work is its own reward.

Also, I agree with Harley. My blog sisters give me hope.

[sarahS]

Hear, hear to the blog sisters - and that includes all our witty and charming commenters as well. (Ramona - are you done ducking?)

But, Harley - PG Wodehouse? I never would have imagined you and Bertie and Jeeves...

[Buzz]

"Riding high in April.
Shot down in May.
That's Life."

[Nancy]

Oh, Buzz, you may have been a pauper, a pirate, a poet and a pawn, but you can be a king right here.

Has anybody else heard the Patrick Stewart audio of A Christmas Carol? He does all the voices, and it's a tour de force. Just right for the season---Dickens via Captain Picard.

[ramona]

Un-ducking now, Sarah, thank you. I had the blog love going, too, but then there was the Blond Bond/GPS incident. I'm still a little sore about that.

[Cheryl]

William- thanks for reminding me about Jean Shepherd, his books have a place of honor on the book shelf.

For me, the Rosalind Russell version of Auntie Mame does the trick every time. Between the fashion and attitude, it's magic. As Mame said, "Live, live, live... Life is a banquet and most suckers are starving to death".

In fact, that is on my agenda for tonight (with a beautiful martini) after this day. We had an ice storm last night, which lead to a power outage (talk about nippy in the house), which lead to a snow day. Which ultimately lead to a great big dose of perspective.

[Kimmy]

I know exactly what you mean. People generally make me sick.

I'd say more but I don't want some jerk telling our boss we don't do any work around here.

As if our numbers don't speak for themselves.

[Kerry, the Martial Tart]

Rebecca, that penultimate paragraph is a gem. Thank you for it.

Joy this time of year -- that's pretty easy. Music, lots of different kinds of books (Heyer's Frederica and The Grand Sophy being sure-fire remedies for what ails me), riding my horse (and watching beautiful sunsets while I do it). Family and friends.

Hope, though, now that's another story. I take hope from my students -- the ones who aren't complacent and rude, but who, instead, are willing to be excited about learning and who want to do good in the world. And from small courtesies, granted by strangers to other strangers, that let me know that the Golden Rule is still alive in many hearts. And from chocolate, but that's a given :)

[Sue]

What gives me hope? My 16 year old's sunny face (unless he's being a butthead), Christmas carols, sunsets, sunrises, and the other night, rain, a cup of hot tea, a leather couch, and Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged." Who indeed, is John Galt and will he come out of hiding?

[Annette]

Reading or listening to Charlotte's Web with my daughter gives me hope. But the ultimate don't give up, people are wonderful is watching Jimmy Stewart in It's a Wonderful Life.

[ramona]

Sue, don't know who John Gault will be, but Angelina Jolie has been cast as Dagny. Guh.

[ramona]

Sue, an Atlas Update: Angelina as Dagny, rumors of Brad Pitt as John Galt, better rumors of DANIEL CRAIG as Reardon.

Now, it tis the season.

[Sue]

Ramona! Are you f'ing kidding me? AJ?

First off, I didn't even know a movie was in the works.

Secondly, justice cannot be done to the book, no matter how hard anyone tries. There's too much thinking one must do as one reads - the book in no way lends itself to the screen.

Third, AJ? No way! Joan Crawford, maybe, just maybe, but AJ?

Someone needs to be shot for this.

[Sue]

And they'll probably have Antonio Banderas as Frisco. Talk about trying to ruin a damned good book. *This* is why I haven't been to the movies in years.

[ramona]

Sue, According to IMDB, AJ's been cast. The other rumors I lifted from Wikipedia and various other indisputable Internet sources so, you know, watch out for grains of salt.

Here's the killer, though: Screenplay by Randall Wallace. Who wrote screenplays of Braveheart AND Pearl Harbor. In the same lifetime.

[Sue]

When Ayn Rand died, the rights to screenplay approval should have gone to the grave with her.

I still have (and obviously read every other year or so) the Signet paperback #W3170, which shows a list price of $1.50. On the back it tells me that the hardbound edition is available from Random House for $6.95. Wonder if they would still sell it to me for that? LOL

Books rule!

[Janice]

I have never read Ayn Rand so I'm not sure why you are all so upset?

When I need comfort, such as when my son was dying(11 yrs ago), I read the series of Little House books by Laura Ingalls Wilder. It centers me.

[Cheryl]

Oh, this Atlas Shrugged news is most disturbing. I have a personal policy (only broken for Harry Potter) that if I love the book, I never see the movie. I just don't want someone else's impressions of the book.

[ramona]

It's just so hard to be Objective about Atlas Shrugged.

He.

[Nancy]

Wait a minute. Wasn't there an Atlas Shrugged with Gary Cooper? And Patricia Neal, maybe? Filmed in black and white with great shadows--kinda Leni Riefenstahl-like? No, I"m starting to think that was The Fountainhead. Nevermind. It's Friday.

Has anybody seen Stranger Than Fiction? My daughter--the offspring of a writer, obviously--found it hilarious in the details. I'm not a Will Farrell fan, so is it worth putting up with him for 2 hours?

[ramona]

Nancy, I saw it on Thanksgiving Day with my M-I-L. It was great, even in my stuffed turkey/Mimosa/wounded hand haze. Plus, IRL, Maggie G. named her baby girl Ramona. Gotta love her for that.

Gary Cooper was Howard Roark. Who is, truly, The Man.

[Kathy Sweeney]

Snap out of it, Rebecca. Of course most people are jackasses. We have known this for years now. It is not going to change.

You know what it means to continue engaging in the same behaviour and expecting a different result. Have a glass of ice wine, watch some soothing Lewis Black DVDs and move on.

All you can do is avoid people who are toxic to you and ignore the rest.

Are you eating enough chocolate?

[Maryann Mercer]

Having two flights cancelled out from under me due to Illinois weather, I missed one whole day with the two people who give me hope, my daughter and son-in-law. I'm outta here at 6AM tomorrow to see them. When I look at the wonder of little kids, I hope. Silent Night gives me hope. Knowing the real reason for the season is NOT commercial but spritual gives me hope and peace. Reading Richard Bach's "Illusions" and then reading a wonderfully crafted mystery...hope and joy :o)
Have a great weekend everyone!

[Nancy]

Maryann---Enjoy those kids of yours!

[Steve B]

Rebecca, why worry about jerks. They will be with us always. When one goes away there's always a replacement waiting.

As for the holidays, reevaluate great expectations and replace them with pretty good expectations. It lowers the stress level (as will Kathy's suggestion of ice wine).

What gives me hope: * my 3 week old, 3 lb., 2 oz. niece's grasp of my fingertip * my 9 yr old nephew dancing on 1st base after going without a hit for 5 games * an orchid blooming despite my efforts to care for it * the quiet after a snowfall * The Polar Express * Keb Mo's "The Door" CD (try to listen to it and not smile)

[Rebecca the Bookseller]

Thanks for the wonderful comments - I am putting them on brightly colored index cards (have you seen the new Post-It Index Cards? Fabulous.) and putting them on my desk.

Steve - thanks for posting - you should do it more often. Always a pleasure to have another Man of the Blog.

Hope everyone travels safe and dry this weekend.

[easy beer bread]

I've just been letting everything wash over me. I just don't have much to say right now, but what can I say? I can't be bothered with anything these days. Such is life. I haven't been up to much lately.

[beer humor poster]

Genetic testing on unborn children is, is not ethical

[cat suit pic]

I can't be bothered with anything recently. I've just been sitting around doing nothing. Today was a loss. I just don't have much to say. Nothing seems worth thinking about.

[ford detroit locker]

We are killing the rainforest

[archive florida lottery]

Blame the parents of a murderer parents for the crime

[casino gambling guide]

Children in ... fill in the nation of your choice ... are living better

[malebreastreductiontoronto]

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[fetishpass]

The quality of education is, is not lower than 15 years ago

[sun]

The quality of education is, is not lower than 15 years ago

[Steve]

Today was a complete loss, but oh well. I don't care. So it goes. Nothing going on , but shrug. Not much on my mind these days. Such is life.

[Sandra]

Teachers must be paid based on performance

[lawyer]

We are killing the rainforest

[microsoft]

We are killing the rainforest