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October 27, 2006

Halloween Costumes

Halloween Costumes

By Rebecca the Bookseller, Halloween Junkie

I love Halloween.  What's not to love?  Candy all over the place and the chance to dress up in costumes and walk around outside at night.

The thing is, I dress up as something like Minnie Mouse, or Professor McGonigle.  Basic, family friendly costumes.  And when I walk around at night, it's in my neighborhood, with other families.  No shots (OK, the occasional harried Dad will ask for a beer, but other than that, not really) no money changing hands, no quick trips to the parking lot or the car, if you follow me, and if you read Elaine's blog on Wednesday, I think you do.

Costume_nurse According to national surveys, I'm in the minority.  Most women who dress up on Halloween  choose costumes that are, well, trampy.  I don't mean they dress up as Hobos; I mean sluts.  If you go out tonight or tomorrow night, take a look around and you'll see what I mean.  The guys, according to the survey, view this trend as a miraculous sign that society is evolving,  They look forward to Halloween almost as much as the Super Bowl.  "Who is that hot chick at the end of the bar wearing less fabric than Lil' Kim at a bail hearing?  Holy shit, it's the town librarian.  I didn't know she was also a nurse.  God bless her.  Let's buy her some shooters."

Exhibit A: Fredericks of Hollywood.  The Madam of the great House of Sexy Outfits was almost out Halloween_sexy_costume_1_1 of business when they were selling only indoor apparel.  They are now bursting with business thanks to a re-focus on Halloween Costumes.  They're not just for October any more either, but that's a different blog.  A quick trip to the website, and you will be blown away by the selection of  Halloween Costumes . One is trashier than the next.  Any normal costume can be magically transformed into something you could lend to Demi Moore if she every does a sequel to Striptease.  By the by, Burt is not getting any younger, so I'd greenlight that project if I were them.  Otherwise, it's just another 'Stripper With the Heart of Gold and the Old Rich Guy" story, and really, haven't we seen enough of those already on The Disney Channel?

It's not just the women either.  Granted, the best sexy male costumes are in Greenwich Village during Angel_aug_2004_1 the annual Halloween Parade, but I wouldn't mind seeing something like this a little more often.

Let me make it clear that the people who dress up like this once a year are not jezebels in real life.  They just play one at the party once a year.  Somehow, a nice pagan tradition related to warding off soul-sucking demons has become carte blanche to dress as a ho with no long-term consequences.  Viva America.

On the off chance that you missed the shipping date for Fredericks, here are the other most popular costumes this year:

For Men:  Number One, hands down: The Crocodile Hunter - yes, complete with partially embedded sting ray. 

For Women: Pirates and wenches, cleavage dependent, obviously.

So what's your costume?  While you're thinking, here are a couple of Halloween Links to keep you busy.  Unlike the photos, both are family friendly:

Carve Your Own Pumpkin

Pumpkin Bowling

Have fun - and remember kids, play it safe this Halloween: check you candy and no glove, no love.


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Man, I really needed a laugh this morning. Thanks for the laugh and my own personal angel, which is now my screensaver.

This Halloween, I'll be going, once again, as a hard-drinking Irish woman. No costume required.

The models in the naughty nurse and vampire vixen costumes were sexy.

it has been my experience that most of the females who wear such outfits at Halloween nightclubs are the rejects from the "Bridezilla" or "Jerry Springer" show. Individuals who think that a dragon tatoo is a good way to hide cellulite.

I hear Godzilla roar...

This year, I'm Van Helsing, the Peter Cushing version. No irony there, huh?

I'm old school. I dress in costume to freighten Christian children into believing in hell and demons. This year, I'm Dick Cheney, again.

My son was hit by a car three weeks ago, hit-and-run, and although he amazingly has no broken bones and will be fine, he has to wear a soft cervical collar for the next six weeks. I told him that he should go out as a plaintiff--all he needs is a file folder, legal size, and we've got oodles of those. We could probably write him up some pleadings, just for fun, to serve on people who bother him too much. On the other hand, maybe he could go as a patient, and his sweet, virginal girlfriend could go as a slut-nurse. Maybe I'll pitch that to him.

I'm the trick-or-treating parent, and I don't dress up. I was thinking, though, of waiting until the 1st and going to get my wife a French maid outfit for fun. She won't wear the "trussed like a turkey" outfit I got some years ago, so maybe some vinyl trampiness would be productive. I mean, make her happy.

Just call me Angel in the Morning, baby. That photo is evidence of divine design, I'll tell you.

I have noticed the costumes becoming skimpier every year, although I've never seen a loincloth like that one. Obviously, I've been going to the wrong parties.

This year, I'm going as one of the Blues Brothers - gotta work on my mid-west accent for the "We're on a mission from Gahd" speech.

Lord, send me an angel for Halloween this year. Please. Please. Please.

Me? I'm going as a Goth Fairy. My teenage son? A banana. Go figure.

One of my grad school classes got me a personalized set of Steeler Scrubs (has my name and J.D. instead of M.D. - pretty clever, huh?) so I'm going as a Doc this year. I have a stethascope and everything.

First order of business: that poor angel needs a full physical. He could catch a cold dressed like that in October in New York.

One memorable year long, long ago, I was Evita. But since I rented the costume from a Greenwich Village dive, Evita had a . . . well, okay, a penis attached to her belt. I got pretty wacky on mushrooms and ended up at my own party hiding under the table.

Now I'm a mom of small children, aka Costume Coordinator and Too Much Candy Censor. My costume consists of a small tasteful tiara that spells "bitch."

That bowling game is totally addictive - the brain trust around me is already staging a tournament.

Big first - the guys had already checked out the TLC Blog today before I even got here. I know this because someone printed out the nurse and the coffin cutie and put them on my desk as 'suggestions' for tomorrow night. As if.

More later, but in between frames of pumkin bowling, I heard about these costume plans:

Tefon Don, Jr. (apparently they are not going to re-try Gotti, Jr.)

Sienna Miller's Pimp (she bad-mouthed Pittsburgh and this town will never forgive her)

The McDoctors from Grey's Anatomy (let's hope it's more than a towel - it's not like any of these guys look like that angel up there)

An annual favorite: Free Mammogram Man

Wham! (Yes, it's true - they are re-uniting for a tour).

Harley - that must've been some party. To say nothing of the 'shrooms. Good times.

Thanks for all the great suggestions - it's especially nice to hear from the Men of the Blog on Fridays.

Kimmie - I want to go to your party!

My son is going as Agent Smith from The Matrix. I think he just wanted an excuse to get the cool sunglasses.

For some good laughs, check out the SNL Halloween DVD. Some classics in there - Irwin Maimway is one of my all-time favorites.

So glad everyone is enjoying my angel.

Thanks for great commentary on this unfortunate trend, Rebecca. Our au pair from permissive Germany went out looking for a Halloween costume and came back absolutely shocked. "Nothing covers you!" she said. (To all the guys out there who were hoping to see the cute German girl in one of those get-ups -- tough luck, she didn't buy anything).

For me, I'm with Harley. A simple head dress is costume enough. I vary between cat ears and a witch's hat. This year it's the witch.

Every year I make costumes for my kids. I am not good at sewing but I can use a glue gun and if need be ruffly sew it to hold for a night. I have made many things some much more challenging. Batman.a clown, alightning bug (tail really gowed)a mermaid.

My daughter will dress up many times during the month for diffrent things (Holloween is her favorate time) So last year she had to be "What's Her Name" from a music video. That was by far a challenge since I had not seen the video. We did it though and a handful of others acctually knew who she was. Shocked me.

Now I have to make a Nightwing costume (he is a superhero) for my 18 year old and Anti Supergirl. I had thought once gone to college I would be off the hook but not. I am now wondering when I will be.

I also dress up and trick or treat with the kids. I tend to be a sorceress every year. I did goe as a viking one yeaar with a long blond braids.

This year there is talk of dressing up the dog too.

I've always wanted to be Xena, Warrior Princess. My husband told me price is no object if I find that costume!

Rebecca, you are a woman after my own heart. Halloween is one of the greatest holidays, even if you're immersed in a book project and have forgotten what day it is. Not that I'm complaining.

This year, I have to make my son a - I can't spell or pronounce the dinosaur's name but it sounds like this - my-ass-is-sore-us costume. We got the alligator head. I have the foam and the material. Now all I have to do is cut out, glue and sew a body-long fin + tail. Pray for me in my hour of darkness.

My daughter, meanwhile, is going as a vampire slayer in a totally sexy outfit to a party tonight. Pray for me in my hour of darkness.

And me? I'm going as an author with her butt on her chair writing a book that is supposed to be "The best book possible."

Did anyone read that story about vampire statistics?

Where's your daughter's party? I mean, they might need chaperones, or something.

Hey, it beats trying my luck in teen chat rooms.

Josh....All I can say is I'm glad you got a legal background.

And, Sarah, that I live something like five states away.

Denise! Whats-her-name from Homestarruner?!

How on earth did you do it? I am really jealous. I mean, Cheerleader or the Ugly One maybe, but Whatsherface? You must be the coolest Mom.

We tried Strong Bad a couple of years ago when my son was little, but he kept taking off the head. Kept the boxing gloves, which became a whole other issue.

Uh -- Michele - you might want to look out for Josh. At least your Au Pair would be legal.

Years ago I dressed up as a prostitute for Halloween and a close friend went as my pimp. We "solicited" candy in the heart of Old Town, Alexandria, much to the amusement of most of the males we approached and the annoyance of their dates. We thought we were very, very funny.
Then I became the mom of a 9-year-old girl who thinks the sexy witch, the sexy cheerleader and the sexy vampire are the best costumes ever (they make junior models). I'm frightened for the future. Very frightened. Is that a ghost whispering "Karma"?

My favorite costume I wore one year was to be Mary Jo Kopechne, i wore a Chappaquidick t-shirt, got my hair all wet with gell and put fake seaweed in it.

it definitely separated the smart from the dumb in the crowd, took a while for some people to figure it out.

now i live in West Hollywood and all i do is go down and watch the show, especially men with breasts.

Slutty is not just for Halloween (or the bedroom) anymore. Renaissance Faires are another excuse for women to go "respectably topless."

Just a couple of years ago I went to huge party at a hotel just outside Chicago dressed as a vampire's slut – complete with a bleeding rose tattoo, black lipstick, numerous bloody hickies and, of course, an almost see-through long black negligee with a red-feather boa. I felt very comfortable in my attire until I had to go out into the hotel lobby and found myself face to face with several families with young children. I hope I didn't scar them for life.

OMG Rosemary! I love sick sh!t like that - Mary Jo Kepechne. Hysterical. A couple of years ago my husband and I went as Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain - after the suicide. Gunshot wound to the head. Yikes. It was a hit. I could get blitzed and everyone thought it was part of the act! But to the point I guess Courtney was still slutty.

Tonight I sent my daughter off to a halloween party dressed as Marilyn Monroe. She looked stunning. She's going to be the Paper Bag Princess on Halloween (you cannot expect her to wear the same costume to two parties...)

My son is going as a Patriots fan and has a crazy red and blue mask. Easy.. he owns a Brady jersey and practice pants from football.

My four year old is torn between the Little Mermaid and the Cat in the Hat. She has both costumes because...

she really really really wanted to be the Little Mermaid. So I bought her the costume. Then at the beginning of this week, I was making halloween costumes for the dogs (they had a halloween party at dog school) and they were going as Thing 1 and Thing 2, I got the bright idea to dress up as the Cat in the Hat. Which I did. And I bought a costume for the little one as well.

I've also been papier mache-ing a large lochness monster costume for days (endlessly it seems) because my son's teacher assigned them a "monster" project where they have to research a well-known monster (Bigfoot, etc.) and present a paper, dressed as the monster. Clearly, this woman does not have kids.

..then again Lauren...you could always take a drive to Salem and pay homage to the Samatha Stevens statue!

I think the Tarts need to have a shopping website. I now want Harley's tiara as well as Sarah's "Bitch Slap Cancer" bumpersticker...OOPS, not to mention all of your books (but I get/order those from Mystery Lovers Bookshop.)

Okay, Ladies...SPILL, I have the daunting task of creating 4 lightning bugs for a second grade class play and I searched lightning bugs and saw lightning bug with a butt that really glowed....LET ME HAVE IT I GOTTA KNOW HOW THIS WAS DONE!!!! I'm desperate.....

well, I must say reading many of these replies tells me that it's not only men excited about evovling. The Angel was the topic of many replies.
I rarely see anyone who pulls off a good costume, most peoplejust don't have what it takes to pull off slinky alphets. But you know what,their spouse loves it, and it puts sparks back into a relationship. To me, that is what is wonderful. There is time to let the children trick or treat, but after midnight it is time for the naughty vixens to come out and play.

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