Rain, Rain

By Sarah

So, supposedly the scientists at, ahem, the Bible Archaeology Seach and Exploration Institute, have found what they optimistically suspect are the remains of Noah's Ark on top of a 13,000-foot mountain in Iran - further proof, they say, that God exists. Also, that Noah had no freaking sense of direction if he sailed a boat to the top of a mountain in Iran.

There's also the other Noah's Ark on top of Turkey's Mt. Ararat (where it belongs, thank you very much) and where you can take summer tours, though the Turkish government supposedly bans all scientific research like that conducted by the esteemed Bible Archaeology Search and Exploration Institute. It only costs $1,500 and, according to the tour's website, "you can literally stand and smell the history around you in your nostrils."

I'm so glad you're allowed to stand, not to mention smell history in your nostrils, since smelling it in your ears is really, really hard.

I remember all this from the classic movie Chariot of the Gods (1969) which was based on a theory (also, a book) that aliens came to Earth, mated with humans and, when they were done with that, handed us a bunch of handy tips, like how to build pyramids and use keystones, land arks on top of mountains and accumulate interest. Well, maybe not interest, but something like it. Perhaps escrow.

The first time I saw this movie was during the horrible rainy summer of 1972, the summer of Hurricane Agnes when Wilkes-Barre, PA (near my hometown of Bethlehem) filled up like a bowl. It rained non stop for a month, right when school got out. I remember mopping up our basement floor and saving a nest of rabbits that had been abandoned by their mother in our front lawn, placing them in a box of shredded newspaper and keeping them warm under a heat lamp. All died.

It just so happened that I was in Pennsylvania on a book tour for THE CINDERELLA PACT last week when Wilkes-Barre filled up again. The town survived thanks to newly fortified levees. Still, it was Agnes redux and I had deja vu driving down the swamped streets of my childhood, seeing the familiar pictures of Easton, PA, practically afloat, on the front page of the local newspapers.

Only this time, I wasn't a kid. I was doing the driving. Driving in a torrential downpour that got worse and worse the farther we got on I-76. At first there were the dark clouds and drizzle, then the rain. Rain like I've never seen before. It was as if Someone From Above was dumping bucket-loads of water onto my windshield. I was blinded. People commonly referred to as a'holes passed me on the left and went off the road. A tree went down in front of us. Wipers were useless. A car on my right snaked through a tunnel of water.I was glad for my large, heavy Honda Pilot, which is the source of all teasing and ridicule here in hippy dippy Vermont. It saved my ass.

It was touch and go whether we could return to Vermont. All the East-West highways in New York State were closed. I called my husband for help but, seeing as he was in a canyon out west with our son, I could barely hear him on our cell. My daughter, Anna, and I proceeded to sign books at every bookstore we could find, scanning the weather reports, the traffic websites and having long discussions about global warming vs. natural weather cycles and whether we were all doomed.

And in the midst of it all surfaced news reports about Noah's Ark. Coincidence? I don't believe in coincidence, actually. There should be a word for an event that's halfway between Fate and Coincidence. A fateincidence, maybe, because that's what this renewed interest in Noah's Ark is, I think. We're all wondering, calculating our strategies, buying more flood insurance and rexamining our home sites. If this kind of wacky weather keeps up, can we make it? Or should we start looking at property on top of Mt. Ararat. I understand there's a place where you can stand and actually smell history in your nostrils and also see a view with your eyes.

Happy Fourth of July and THANK YOU, THANK YOU to everyone who ran out and bought THE CINDERELLA PACT!! The sales have been great, far better than ever (knock on wood). And if you're looking for more "motivation" please check out our weight loss support group. Free tiaras - while they last - to anyone who bought a copy of THE CINDERELLA PACT....just email me at [email protected].

Sarah

Comments

[annette]

Sarah girl, I can't believe you were driving in all that rain. Reminds me of my parents, from down the bayou, who did NOT leave for Hurricane Katrina.
My sister read the Cinderella Pact and enjoyed it very much. I am looking forward to reading soon.

[Kathy Sweeney]

If I recall correctly, Noah filled his ark with animals, and there was no on-ship plumbing. I for one do not want to smell that kind of history in my nostrils or any where else.

The women in my favorite salon have all started Weight Watchers together and are reading The Cinderella Pact. Everyone LOVES it. Even if you've never struggled with weight issues, you'll love this book.

I wonder if Tiaras at the weekly weigh-ins would be in bad taste? heh.

[Josh]

Glad you made it home okay, but you probably should have stopped. I was afraid that I would get electrocuted in my Prius commuting in Philadelphia last week. (On the other hand, I averaged 48.3 mpg on my rainless 1,093-mile drive yesterday.)

[Josh]

Oh, and my wonderful traveling partner, Violet, ate my pink tiara last week.

[Kerry, the Martial Tart]

Sarah, I'm glad you made it safely!

[Laura]

1st of all, I'm glad you made it through the rain. (EEK - I just gave myself an American Idol flashback.) It was quite dicey around here. I drove yesterday up the PA Tnpk NE Extension/Rt 81 to Syracuse, and could see the ravages in both the Wilkes-Barre area and Binghamton (NY). It was bad.

2nd, I'm almost finished with The Cinderella Pact and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it. So glad sales are going well.

Last, but definitely not least, does anyone have a picture of Josh in his pink tiara? (Before the evidence was destroyed) I may actually be willing to pay money to see it. Mine is still in my car, for those days when I need to remind the world of my princess status.

[Josh]

Pictures were taken. Who has them, I do not know. It was at Chester County Books and Music, a much nicer place than I had imagined in my 6 years of commuting right past it.

[Mary Alice Gorman]

Sounds like a delghtful trip. Glad you are all dry and safe and sound. Sales are still brisk for the Cinderella Pact. The weekly email newletter brought in many sales too at our 15% discount. Keep up the good work. Can't wait for the Holiday Bubbles!

Mary Alice--back on South Beach after the California vacation

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