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January 06, 2006

Your Resolutions?

Margie here!  Let the good times roll!  Go to fullsize image

If you're a regular reader of The Lipstick Chronicles, you know that Fridays are sacred. 

It's the day I do my nails and maybe run the Swiffer around the bookshelves if I need to look busy.  I check out my stash in the mini fridge and I pretty much ignore the phone except if Randy calls to finalize our plans for tonight. (The man looks better in jeans than anybody on the planet except maybe Jon Bon Jovi, you know what I mean? I'm looking forward to his Tim McGraw imitation this evening---it's Karaoke Night!) We're thinking of hitting happy hour this afternoon over at the Dew Drop Inn to get a head start on the weekend.

Friday is also the day when the Tarts lock their office doors and bang out pages of their books because they've been hanging around the water cooler all week instead of getting their quotas done.  Today they're all working like there's no tomorrow except one--ahem!--who hasn't come in yet.  (Wonder why she's sleeping late today??)

Anyway, if you've stopped by on a Friday looking for entertainment, I'm guessing you, dear reader, are a coinnoisseur of good procrastination techniques. Go to fullsize image

For your convenience, today I'm supplying you with an entirely worthless link that should fit your procrastination needs for a few more minutes.  Report back, will you?

If you're too lazy to come up with your own New Year's Resolution like me, go here:


Oops, phone's ringing----and I think it's Randy!


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Margie, we may be working behind closed doors, but we can year you howling out there in reception! Hang up the phone and get some filing done!

Okay, my randomly selected resolution was to learn to shear sheep this year.

Nancy, not procrastinating. It's re-filling the creative well.

You're not coming in Monday, right? Payday was yesterday so I wouldn't think so.
BTW you don't even want to know who I saw Randy with at the Bowl and Brew last Sunday. (I was bowling, not brewing, thank you very much.)

A boyfriend named "Randy?" That's too delicious for words.

I've resolved to eat my weight in grilled cheese sandwiches. I think I can do that.


I'm supposed to tip a cow. Tip one for what? Standing around chewing its cud? Or ambling around making cow pies? And what is the going rate for cow-tipping these days? 20%? 20% of what?

(Yeah, I know there's another meaning there . . . you can take the girl -- kicking and screaming -- out of the west, but you can't take the west out of the girl)

Speaking of tips, I, too, have some for the parents of that idiot who took himself to Iraq . . .

Happy Friday, everyone. Margie, I want to hear all about Randy, asap :)

It's Friday? I'm in the middle of revisions, so time is a little out of whack for me.

Unfortunately, Friday has come to soon. The clock is ticking....

Oh, my. According to that site, my resolution for 2006 is to have at least one orgasm per hour. I'm wondering if it confused me with Margie, otherwise I'm going to have a tricky time writing books and promoting...but obviously a really good time.

Susan, I say go for it. Books Shmooks. Promotion Shlomotion.

Well, the first one I got was to "Frag more n00bs [sic.]" And since I happen to prefer my n00bs unfragged, thank you very much, I hit the button again and came up with "Take a shower," which means I'm already done. 2007, here I come!

I wrote resolutions this year which I know I will keep. I think you all might enjoy them (I don't usually pimp my blog):


Adapt at will!

Daisy, I fragged some n00bs recently, and it stung like hell. So you're really smart to shower instead. Or buy shoes.

I want Susan's resolution! I have a twenty right here in my pocket, too, Susan. What d'you say??

The link tells me that my resolution is to:

Learn to Eat Fire.

Interesting. I have eaten fire in the past - it was masquerading as Thai food.

Margie - for gawd's sake, if this is the same Randy who's on your Probation Officer's Watch List, don't let anyone take any more photos of the two of you.

On the other hand, if it's not the same Randy, and he's going to sing "Real Good Man" tonight, I'll see you at the Carousel around 10 pm. Everyone knows the really good karaoke doesn't start until after 10. Why don't you both wear black in case you decide to do "Ring of Fire". I love that one.

Ouch. Wait. Margie just stole my twenty.

I'd say "pinched" is a better word, Ms. Nancy.

Susan, if you need any help with that resolution...

...I've got a friend I could hook you up with.

Hey mine is that I resolve to "get high on life." I'll tell Randy since he seems to be of a different opinion.

OMIGAWD, I just got a peek at Randy. Margie's right.--He looks great in those jeans, even with the snuff can circle on his butt. Makes up for that shirt.

Rob, doesn't that guy work at Heidi Fleiss' new place in Nevada? If he doesn't, he certainly could.

Susan- You mean like these?

Or these?

Or possibly these?

p.s. Hey Margie, I bet Randy would love you in these:
You might need to ask for that raise, though.

Rob, how, um, very generous of you. But I am well taken care of, thanks mucho. (Josh, are you going to HeidiWorld after LegoLand and Studland? That sounds like an interesting trifecta.)

Daisy, yes, yes, yes, on those Roberto Cavalli shoes. Oolala!

No, no. I am going to Legoland. I was suggesting Studland for someone else. Heidiworld is supposed to be for women, or maybe men who prefer men, which I don't. She would probably make money just having guys listen to women for 15 minutes straight and forget the sex part.

The Cavalis are indeed wonderful, but I'm leaning toward the Marc Jacobs shoes right now- more practical, since I only have so much Christmas money to spend. Sigh.

OMG, my resolution was to start smoking!!! Interesting site.

Rats. I went back hoping to get the orgasm one and ended up with:

Start smuggling contraband in baby diapers.

Well, it's better than smuggling it in adult diapers.

Woo hoo! If I keep my resolution, I'll be selling myself on ebay this year! I'll keep y'all posted. . . .

My resolution - to be a bitch. Heck, I thought I already was one.

Margery but NOT Margie

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