What Hookers Can Teach Us About Bookselling

By Sarah

In the good ole days, before Rudy Giuliani cleaned up New York City by putting a cop on every corner, you couldn't make it to the Lincoln Tunnel on a Saturday night without a hooker throwing herself across the hood of your car. This is what they mean by working when they call them working girls. Man, do you know what how much it hurts to throw yourself across the hood of a car?

I've been thinking a lot about hookers since coming home from my Midwest book tour for Secret Lives.There are many lessons hookers can teach us about how to reach readers and how, a few exceptions aside, the publishing industry is doing it all wrong. Some observations:

Go to your audience, don't make your audience go to you - Let's go back to our turn off to the Lincoln Tunnel. It's cold. It might be raining. But still the hookers are there. Why? Because they know that the New Jersey businessman weaving home after a Saturday night on the town is looking for his last chance at fun. All night he's held off and, well, there's the tunnel and there She is and the wife's asleep back in Morrisville so...what the hell. Does the hooker insist that her Johns show up at a Borders on Tuesday night at 7 p.m., right when our New Jersey businessman is either supposed to be shepharding his kids home from soccer or saying grace at the dinner table? Of course not.

Likewise, we should go to our readers with the promise of "a little fun." In Houston, thanks to a marketing company that had pestered for my appearance down there, I signed at an upscale grocery store (where I saw character after character step out of the pages of Secret Lives - excuse me, but do YOU shop for coffee and Tide in high heels and Seven jeans?) on a Saturday at 1. I also signed at a five-star restaurant, Ouisie's Table, where readers were served canapes and cosmopolitans as I read and chatted. One group turned it into a birthday event.  Books were provided by Murder By the Book (which always does a great job of bringing in readers.) We had a blast. This, I thought, is the future of book signings, or should be.

One place that throws great events is Mystery Lovers in Oakmont, PA. Their Saturday brunch with the author series has always been one of my best events. Standing room only. My readers are women, often married with kids. Tuesday night at 7 doesn't work for them. Saturday at 10 does. Which brings me to...

Do you prefer a neighborhood bordello or online dating - When it comes to hooking, I think we're all agreed that we would prefer a bordello where everyone knows our name (and our preferences - white, black, Asian?) as opposed to a cold online service somewhere in Taiwan that computes our stats and tells us what we want, instead of the opposite. Ipso facto, we need to support our local independents and not Amazon.

Following this logic, Independent bookstores should be the only places we sign when we sign at bookstores. Yes, there are some exceptions. I can think of one or two Barnes and Nobles where the CRM (community relations manager) has an excellent relationship with his or her readers. For example, outside Chicago I sell through at a particular store thanks to one bookseller who loves my books. And I would in a heartbeat go to a Barnes and Noble in Virginia where I have loyal, undying fans, also thanks to a bookseller. Unfortunately, though, too many chain bookstores are staffed by employees who had to choose between working there or Urban Outfitters. They might as well be selling Cuisinart coffee makers.

Finally, give each reader the impression that he or she is your only one - Hookers in it for the long haul know the value of cultivating and keeping Johns. After all, there's always a newer, younger, fresher girl on the corner. What a more experienced woman has to offer is a relationship, including trusted, reliable satisfaction time and time again. And she does this, in part, by assuring him that he is the only one.

Ditto for us, the authors. Aside from working our hardest to write books that will satisfy time and time again - and ideally be better with each "experience" - we need to create personal relationships with our precious readers. There are fewer and fewer readers each day so let's celebrate and get to know the ones we have. Readers tend to talk to readers. Everyone benefits.

By the way, as one escort pointed out to me, emailing readers is counter intuitive to the reading process as the Internet detracts from time spent with books. Better to snail mail fans about your latest book, etc. I'm not sure I agree with him, but I'm willing to debate it.

And those are my final lessons from the road. Now onto creating a better experience each time....

Thanks for reading,

Sarah

Comments

[Karen]

It's interesting to see an author's views about being on the road. And while there are pros and cons to a "tour," you're still getting out there to places where maybe someone hasn't heard of you yet but will now buy your books. I'm restricted to my geographical region because of my day job and lack of time off :)

[sarah S]

Exactly my point, Karen. So let me ask you...how do We reach You? In this case, maybe the Internet is the best medium, despite what my escort friend claims. And, yes, you're right about touring. At each event there were new readers...now whether they'll continue to be readers of my stuff really depends on whether my stuff is worth it.

[Josh]

Other rules:

Know the boundaries that you won't cross to close a deal.

Be prepared for those boundaries to be tested.

[PK the Bookeemonster]

Further, since the Internet may be your medium due to other constraints, you would still be able to go to your audience by having an opt-in newsletter or announcement email directly to their email rather than make them check the website.

[sarah S]

Uh...are we talking about hooking here, Josh, or promoting books. Or is there no difference in your mind.

[Melanie Lynne Hauser]

Sara, I have a question. I've been concentrating my efforts on Internet marketing (because that's where my husband has a great deal of experience, from his real life job). But you mentioned snail mailing readers - how would you do this? It's so easy to have people sign up for an internet newsletter - and it's also easy (although time consuming) to find email addresses for readers on the Internet, if you know what you're doing. But regular addresses? How would one find these? (Other than, you know, using the PTA directory for your own marketing purposes. Which I do not condone. Usually.)

[sarah S]

Melanie - This is where touring and conferences come in. You know, bring a empty book and have people sign it when they buy your book. It's better than emailing randomly because these people have purchased you in the past and might purchase you in the future.
Now...does anyone know a reasonbly priced mailing label program. Filewrite Pro was recommended to me - looks a wee bit too advanced. I've been doing my mailing labels of AOL!!

[Karen]

As far as Internet marketing, this blog is a great idea. You've got a lot of traffic, a lot of links on a lot of other sites. You're reaching a lot of folks this way. And it was enough to influence me and three other mystery writers to form a group blog about first time author experiences called First Offenders (http://firstoffenders.typepad.com) and we hope this can help us like it's helping you. (We did link to you!)

As for mailing labels, I'm just using my Word program for that. If there's an easier way, I'd love to hear about it, too!

[Melanie Lynne Hauser]

Right - I've done that, the book thing. Problem is, though, since I'm a new author, the number of people at my signings who I don't already know is kinda small. So I was thinking more in terms of reaching people who haven't read the book yet - or who aren't already on my Christmas card list!

[Kathy Sweeney]

It's so true - all of it.

As a reader and someone who buys hardcover, I can tell you that everything you said works for me and mine.

And I echo your homage to the Mystery Lovers Bookshop in Oakmont, PA -- I order all of my books (and increasingly, holiday gifts) from them, mysteries or not.

As a matter of fact, that's where I met both you and Nancy, and I think my single order of "Dating Dead Men" (have to admit, it was the old Santa Barbara connection that caught my eye in a magazine review) brought Harley to their attention. You guys in turn recommended Susan. See - the more people who follow your advice, the better the system works for everyone.

Keep up the great work!

xo

P.S. The fact that hookers still make a living at the world's oldest profession ought to tell us something!

Plus - you just don't see as many hair colors not found in nature anywhere else.

[Jan]

Okay, this is totally off topic but you said "hooker" and that forces me to tell my hooker story (feel free to ignore it...it's just this emotional need I have to unload it on others.)

Near the end of second grade, my family was watching a cop show and one character caught my eye because I found her clothing interesting -- lots of sparklies and very high heels and (I think) a feather boa (which is just a kid magnet as far as clothing goes.) So I paid a bit more attention and I found out this young woman was a hooker. Now, I had no idea what a hooker was but obviously they dressed well. I asked my mom -- a fount of disinformation if ever there was one -- what is a hooker?

Mom told me it was a woman who sleeps with men for money. I was dazzled. What an excellent job! You got paid for sleeping -- how cool is that? Plus, you had your days free. And you clearly wore nifty clothes. And -- best of all -- you didn't have to sleep alone (I was horribly afraid of the dark at that time and the idea of a constant -- though ever changing -- bed companion was very appealing.)

So, I nursed my career ambition in private UNTIL the day of our first "essay" in school. It was supposed to be a full PARAGRAPH on "What You Want To Be When You Grow Up!" So, I outlined my career plan to be a hooker. I'm sure the essay was brilliant. It also netted me a trip to the office (honestly, they should NOT ask little children to read these things aloud without vetting them first. After all, my essay may have been the catalyst that shaped the future of some of the Lincoln Tunnel car flingers).

[sarah S]

Verrry funny. Though, hey, in this day and age of tolerance I think the schools would applaud such a diverse career choice.

[Josh]

To answer your question, both, actually. As with everything in life, it's all a matter of degree.

Off topic, my wife is helping my son with his Latin I homework, and I am stunned with how much I must have forgotten, or maybe never knew. Past agricola, aqua, and puella, which I think we learned the first day with Miss Fay, I am lost. Ablative? I'm lucky to use nominative and accusative properly. The priest teaching the class admitted to me that we could save money by using our grandparents' Latin I texts. I wonder how different church Latin is to what I was supposed to have been learning between 1976 and 1979. With my memory, I guess I'll never know.

[Carstairs38]

I'm certainly going to second your comments about when you schedule signings. My "local" independent bookstores are 45 minutes to an hour away, so I can really only do Saturday signings. Certainly not weekday afternoon signings.

Of course, that needs to be balance with authors coming through an area where they don't live. But it was my frustration last March when an author I love was only doing signings in the area on weekdays because her publisher had her out every weekend signing.

Mark

[Mary]

I love the hooker analogy.

As for events, I love the ones in independent bookstores. I hadn't been to one at a big chain until earlier this year. Sarah Weinman and I went to see Elmore Leonard at Barnes and Noble. It was very weird not to know anyone at the signing. That never happens at the independent stores. And at the very good ones, the owners introduce you (the reader, not just the writer) to other cool people. Bonnie and Joe at Black Orchid are excellent at this.

Events in other locations are great as well. Ken Bruen and his pals have done great readings in bars. Charlie Stella had his most recent book launch in one as well. But I think Duane Swierczynski has one of the best ideas recently. He'll come to your house and do a signing. He's already got one scheduled for Dave White's basement in New Jersey. Talk about brining yourself to the people.

[Robert Gregory Browne]

From one first offender to another, one thing you have to make sure you do is provide a link that works... :)

Looks like a fun blog you've got there.

[Robert Gregory Browne]

By the way, is there a difference between a hooker and a whore, because I'm definitely a whore. In terms of writing, that is. I used to work in Hollywood.

[sarah S]

well, you must be doing something right 'cause you got yerself a big ass agent! Whore is poetic. Hooker is functional. I'm definitely the latter.

[PK the Bookeemonster]

To offer a solution to how to get snail mail addresses other than signing in a book: offer through your website a drawing for your book, and have them please include snail mail addresses so it can be shipped. You're building a database of people specifically interested in your work.

[Mqry Alice Gorman]

Thanks for the plug to both Sarah and Kathy.......Mystery Lovers works hard to get new and many mystery books into the hands and homes of readers.

I must second the idea of unusual locations........we held the pub party for our Nancy Martin's Cross Your Heart and Hope to Die at The Pussycat, Pgh's foremost store for bras!!!

Mary Alice

[Ann Marie]

Sarah,
I remember your dad had a Saturday book signing for his Steel book at Hess's Westgate. It was packed with shoppers who then stood in line to buy the book.
I'm not sure if Hess's Westgate sold the book or if he just brought his own stock. Ask him.
Why do book signings have to be at a book store? Sounds like you are on the right track. I'm sure grocery stores, clothing stores, restaurants etc. would like to offer their customers the added pleasure of an author signing books. It's fun and different and I bet they will include you in their print advertisments.
I mean the one's printed in a newspaper.For example, The Moravian Book Shop does not advertise in the newspaper ever so no one except those who frequent the place knows who will be there signing books.
Same goes for Barns and Noble and the chains, I've yet to see a print ad for their bookstores.
The only way your readers know you are coming to town is because The Call usually does a story on you and your books. Otherwise your audience would be very very small.

[daisy]

Re: writing/whoring:
"You'd better find out if you're any good before you start charging for it."

[Kerry]

I disagree to some extent with your escort; I don't find that the Internet detracts from my reading time (or at least, not very often). Yes, I absorb content from the Internet by reading (d'uh!), but I consider browsing a different activity from reading for pleasure (just as reading for pleasure is a different activity from reading for work). Time spent on one is not necessarily time taken away from the other; each has its place and its allotted time.

I can't help but think that the Internet is also a great way to reach readers. Certainly I've found more new authors to read (including all 4 of the Tarts!) via writers' blogs than I ever did by browsing book shelves. And I enjoy the feeling that, rather than my purchases supporting an entity known only from a jacket bio and professional photo, they support someone I know at least a little bit about "in person" as it were.

Just my $0.02.

[Kerry]

P.S. -- my nearest independent is a 30 minute drive, which really doesn't work within my regular schedule; if it weren't for the local big chain store, I'd be out of luck! Any time any of y'all want to come sign here in the Tidewater region of Virgina, I'll be there :)

[Kimberly]

Kerry,

I agree with you about the internet being a great place to discover new authors. In the last few months there have been three authors who've come to my area. Unfortunately, in all three cases I stumbled across the info on the internet and not from announcements from the hosting bookstore. I've probably read four new authors who've been mentioned or guest blogged here at TLC.

Kimberly