Do NOT Mess with the Tits

Do NOT Mess with the Tits

By Kathy Reschini Sweeney

The last several days have been all about the boobs - everyone is talking about them!  I think it's great and am glad that boobs are getting the respect they deserve outside of men's magazines and special movies people watch in hotels.

This whole Komen business has been encouraging - and not just because of the safety and health of tits everywhere.

Ask yourself - how much political bullshit has occurred over the past several years?  Tons.  And usually we bitch about it, or roll our eyes, or simply stop paying attention.  I happen to sign petitions, but that's about as far as it went because I am so disgusted with the whole political process that I don't feel I can make a difference.

That all changed last week, and we have boobs to thank.  And yes, I meant that as at least a double bitch slap.

Koman and the "No choice but my choice" gang took on the wrong group.  To mangle a famous movie quote:

"You may take our Congressional seats, but you'll never take our ta-tas!!"

Some things should be off-limits to political gamesmanship and women's health is one of them.  And boy, did everybody get that message loud and clear!

Planned Parenthood more than made up for the money they lost from Komen, and got a whole new batch of more enlightened donors in the process.  If you think that the shift of donations from Komen to PP was a temporary thing, guess again.

Because the other consequence is that many people - including me- took a good, hard look at an organization we have been funding and supporting for years.  Much like the sausage factory, we did not like what we saw.  Barely 20 cents from each dollar donated to the SGKF actually goes to research.  They have also defunded other research facilities - like Johns Hopkins - just because Hopkins engages in other research - promising research - that Komen finds offensive.  And don't even get me started on this campaign of harassment against small groups trying to raise money by using three common words in the English language.  

I have several three-word combinations I could suggest for the politically-driven forces at the SGKF, but I'm already skating close to everyone's spam filters by using the word tits, so I won't push it for now...

No argument that the Komen Foundation has raised awareness. They are not a bad organization. But a few people with power can poison any group, and maybe it's time for the SGKF to decide if they are about women's health or about political agendas.

Because for most of us, you can't have it both ways.

***

And now, another vignette from my adventures in Boobburgh.

When you are preparing for surgery, one of the things the docs do is provide you with informed consent - which is a summary of the risk and possible consequences from surgery.

In plain English, informed consent is a legal exercise where the docs read off a huge list of all the bad shit that could happen - like death by crossbow and the loss of an unrelated limb - so that if something does go wrong, you can't sue them because they have the legal defense of: "We told you so."

I am not blaming anyone for this, I am just telling you what goes on.

Part of the list for my informed consent was "permanent scarring of the breast".  This shows up in the list somewhere between aspiration due to bad anesthesia and one of your lungs accidentally jumping out of your chest during surgery.

But I caught it, and interrupted the PA, which also caused the med students to actually focus out of their glazed-over stances.

Here is what I said: "Scars?  On my boobs?  Does this mean I have to give up my night job as a stripper?"

Total silence.  I mean, pin drop, dead quiet. Then one student finally, after shifting nervously and looking at his colleagues in that peripheral "is she serious?!" way, says: "Wow."

I burst out laughing and said: "Are you kidding me?  The only place I could get work as a stripper is at a blind circus!"

Then they laughed - hard and loud.  Someone came in from the next room to see what was up.  

My work was done.

***

So what say you on the SGKF situation?  Was their 'apology' sufficient?  Or did the dodginess and the back-pedaling cause you more concern than relief?  Your tits could hang in the balance...

 

Comments

[Maureen]

Leave it to you, Kathy, to give the medical interns an education they'll NEVER forget. And when did you give up your job as a stripper in a blind circus (and is that a circus with blinder performers,or a blind audience, or both?). 'Cause you didn't list that in your prior blog as one of your titles. Just saying...

[Susan Eng]

Kathy;

I remember when the boys were younger that Ciege told me if we peel off the top of Yoplait and mail it in, they will give 10 cents for each to SJKF. So we did, for many years. It made me so proud that that they were so devoted to having me mail these lids in from Yoplait. And we mailed a lot of them. It saddens me now to know how little of it really goes to "The Cure". Best of luck to you to you tomorrow! Much love from myself and the boys.