Looking for Mr. Darcy

Looking for Mr. Darcy

Lisa Daily

I was re-reading one of my favorite books the other day, Confessions of a Jane Austen Addict.  The book follows the story of a contemporary woman named Courtney Stone who idolizes Jane Austen, hopes for her own Mr. Darcy, and uses the pages of Pride and Prejudice as a cure-all after every nasty breakup or disappointment.  One morning, Courtney finds herself transported back to Austen’s time.

She has an awakening, of sorts, one of those “be careful what you wish for, you just might get it” -type realizations, and it started me thinking about all the women I know who are holding out for their own Mr. Darcy, Sam Baldwin, Rhett Butler, Romeo, or Heathcliffe.  And how many of us immerse ourselves in a film or lit cocoon, overdosing on the perfect romantic heroes concocted in some writer’s imagination when real men break our hearts.

So, in the time-honored tradition of analyzing the flaws and feats of one’s boyfriends or potential boyfriends, I think it’s time to put our romantic heroes to the test:

 

Heathcliff: (Wuthering Heights)

 Heathcliff and Catherine share a passionate, all-encompassing love – she marries someone else, and Heathcliff’s obsession with her eventually destroys them and everyone around them.   His horrible cruelty is only eclipsed by the tenderness in his love for Catherine.

Why we love him:

He’s passionate, he’s a self-made man, and he goes to his grave having only loved one woman.  Plus, he’s dark and mysterious.

Why you wouldn't want to date him in real life:

He’s angry, really angry.  And cruel. Heathcliff is passionate about Catherine until he dies, but he destroys everyone around him, including the people she loves most -- sure it would be great to have someone love you so ardently, but at what cost?  Is he a lover or a stalker?

Sam Baldwin (Sleepless in Seattle)

Sam was madly in love with his wife who died of cancer, and he and his young son Jonah are so overwhelmed with grief, they’re barely making it through each day. He’s a wonderful, sensitive father, and hopelessly romantic.  Annie hears Jonah and Sam on a call-in radio program one night, and feels certain that she and Sam were meant to be together.  She writes to Sam. Jonah intercepts the letter and decides Annie should be with his father.  When the two finally meet, he takes her hand, and it’s “magic.”

Why we love him:

He’s a great old-fashioned guy who pays for dinner and holds the door open.  We know he’s a great husband and a good father, he’s handsome and he’s funny.  Most of all, his heart is an open book – and you’ve got to love a man who can articulate his feelings.

Why you wouldn't want to date him in real life:

He’s a single father, which is always a challenge, and while his first marriage was great (and happily married widows tend to have good second marriages), it would be pretty tough as the new wife competing with a perfect dead wife who will never get old and never again nag him about picking his socks up off the floor or taking out the recycling.  Do you really want to live with a ghost?

 Mr Darcy.  (Pride and Prejudice)

Mr. Darcy is unbelievably rich and quite handsome, but Lizzie finds him arrogant and insulting.  Through a series of events, Mr. Darcy falls in love with Lizzie, who believes he has not only thwarted her sister’s best chance at true love, but also treated a friend with cruelty. He later proves himself to be heroic in his love for her.

 Why we love him:

He’s rich, he’s handsome, he’s unattainable, and not only does he save Lizzie’s sister from certain scandal, he does it anonymously.  He is also revealed to be a thoroughly decent human being.  And while Austen’s novel is by far my favorite, anyone who’s seen the 2005 film adaptation can’t help but be won over when Mr. Darcy (played to perfection by Matthew Macfadyen) splutters out, “I lo..I lo..I love you.”

Laurie Viera Rigler, Jane Austen addict herself, once told me, “Ultimately what makes Mr. Darcy attractive is that he has this big moment of self-realization.”

Why you wouldn't want to date him in real life:

He’s arrogant, and frequently rude. He’s pretty full of himself with the whole “class structure” thing.

 

Rhett Butler (Gone With the Wind)

Scarlett and Rhett meet after she hurls a vase past his head at a barbeque --  talk about romantic.  He falls in love with her on the spot, and continues to carry a torch for her through a war, a few poorly chosen husbands, and her immature and dogged pursuit of a married man.

Why we love him:

What’s not to love about a dark, dashing man (Clark Gable!) who understands all of your flaws and patiently waits it out as you wade through multiple husbands, waltzes you out of widowhood and steals a horse to lead you out of a burning city?  Plus, Rhett proposes to Scarlett in the parlor opposite her second husband’s body because he couldn’t stand to wait another minute.

Why you wouldn't want to date him in real life:

Frankly, he doesn’t give a damn.  And the moment she decided she was actually in love with him was the moment he walked away. 

Lots of men love the chase, and they’re happy to pursue you , until they catch you.  The last thing you want is a guy who disappears into the mist the second you declare your true feelings.

Romeo (Romeo and Juliet)

Romeo falls in love with Juliet, despite the fact that their two families are at war, and wins her over by reciting love poems under her balcony.  They concoct an ill-fated plan to elope, which ends up with both of them dead.

Why we love him:

He’s instantly smitten, and willing to go against his family’s wishes to be with Juliet.  There’s something appealing about a man who would risk everything just to be with you.  Plus, the man does have a way with words.

Why you wouldn't want to date him in real life:

Do you really want to be with a guy who decides to take his own life at the first sign of trouble?  A more mature man would have given Juliet a shake or two, or at least tried a little CPR before he offed himself.

There you have it folks, no man is perfect.  Even the imaginary ones.

Who's your favorite go-to lit or film guy?  (or woman?)

Lisa

Comments

[William Simon]

Hmmmmm..... we're going with literary characters, not television/film, so sadly, Mrs. Emma Peel gets the short end this time.

I'll have to go with Nora Charles and/or Elise McKenna. Nora because she would genuinely make Life a party (and I have a weakness for women in tailored suits and high heels), and Elise because.... well, just because....

[Ramona]

I have never understood the love for Heathcliff. But Cathy was no prize, either, so maybe they deserve one another?

My favorite book is Jane Eyre, but Mr. Rochester was selfish and moody, and the chapter where he dressed up as the gypsy was just plain creepy. And the crazy wife in the attic doesn't help the resume.

So my perfect literary man nominee would have to be Roderick Alleyn, Ngaio Marsh's gentleman detective.

Or Atticus Finch, although I seriously don't know if I could handle his kids.

Oh, and thank you Lisa for that photo. Nice perk to a dreary morning.

[Karen in Ohio]

Seriously, what's up with Heathcliff? I never understood that one, and hated Wuthering Heights. I must be in the minority.

The husband in Rebecca sounds good until you realize he's letting his ex-sister-in-law run rampant in his house, and then it gets bizarre. I married a widower, and it's true--the departed spouse does take on a patina of sainthood, no matter what kind of a wild child he or she was (in this case, she, for real), and it is a little wearing. But we dealt with that one a couple decades ago, thank goodness. Never mind that it took a decade to get to.

My favorite book guy is Jamie Fraser. Love me some big redheaded Scot. Mm-hmm.

Lisa, I like your catalog of flawed heroes. Real life boys are usually just as flawed, as we all are.

[judy merrill larsen]

Atticus Finch. Oh, and Andrew Shephard, the President in An American President.

Hmm, maybe I have a thing for widowers.

[Kathy Sweeney]

Hmmm. I would normally start with Rhett. And I'm sticking. Because Rhett really does love her, and they do get back together, although not in the truly awful way that was the abomination "Scarlett". Plus, you really can't blame the guy for finally taking a stand. Scarlett was no prize, y'know.

But I will add a character: Nathaniel from "The Last of the Mohicans". Does it help that Daniel Day-Lewis with the long hair and the beefed up shirtless chest played him in the movie? Most certainly.

[Harley]

Yes to Daniel Day-Lewis, Kathy!

And while I adored Wuthering Heights as a tortured teen, let's not forget what Heathcliff does to Catherine's (and his own) children after her death. She's dead, for God's sake! Give up the vendetta!

I'm sorry, but it must be said: Bond. James Bond. (Blond Bond.) Okay, so he's not a great candidate for fidelity, but when that building explodes, or the pack of assassins are after you, who do you want to be with?

[Harley]

And Travis McGee.

[Harley]

Oh: when I get really old, I want to be married to Albus Dumbledore.

[judy merrill larsen]

Oh, yeah, I'd forgotten about Travis McGee. One of my very first book crushes.

[hollygee]

I did love Sam Baldwin in Sleepless in Seattle. I like a guy who can be tender and still crack wise, has a little savior-faire and sometimes a bit befuddled. Unfortunately, I think I'm thinking of mostly Cary Grant characters with an update of some of Hugh Grant's roles. And that leads us back to Tom Hanks (Sam Baldwin). Interesting that I'm choosing the actor playing the role rather than the written character. Hmmm.

[nancy martin]

I'm on a Robert Parker/Spenser re-read kick, and I must say that Spenser is *not* the guy I would pick. All that smug Keats stuff, not to mentin the mooning. Hawk, on the other hand, seems to improve upon re-reading.

I might have to go with Kathy, though. Rhett's the character who truly knows his woman and still loves her, warts and all. The other guys all seem to be in the throes of early lust, and I wonder if that might pale after a while?

I'm still mulling over Roderick Alleyn as a possibility. Sure, he's wonderful, but maybe a little too much of the monk that Ngaio Marsh mentions. (Isn't the the cross between "a monk and a Spanish grandee?" Or am I remembering wrong?) For my taste, he needs a dash of Blond Bond's animal side.

[xena]

Soooo....I'm thinking the men of imagination are well described here. Personally I think they are all still dogs and no matter who I can think of, made of paper or celluloid, they all have some deep hidden flaw that makes them not the Mr. Right they seem. Who wants to date that in real life indeed!
Superman aside...can't think of a one.
I say let's look for our heartthrob's sterling qualities and over look the things that will drive us crazy.
Kind of a mixed breed that had some of Romeo's to die for devotion and a dash of Heathcliff's pining away. A tad of Rhett's nerve to keep loving until he just didn't give a damn and Sam's puppy dog eyes. Plop on some wealth and good looks and you got a best in show!
Adopting or rescuing a man is getting harder and harder to do. My requirements have whittled down to over 60 and still breathing...hair and teeth optional. And you never get one that is brand new to train. We can't teach an old one new tricks is not just a saying. They've all been around the block at this point.
But that is in the real world. Thank the authors of the written world for the imagined ones we can fall in love with over and over and never have to get out the pooper scooper.
Just saying.

[Ramona]

Anyone up for Hubbell Gardner?

I like DD-L, but I'm more of the Age of Innocence type. Am I the only person who finds long stringy hair a la Hawkeye and Aragorn, a turnoff?

[Katie]

Michael Corleonne.
He's a NICB (Nice Italian Catholic Boy), he has a big family, he bears a striking resemblance to a young Al Pacino AND he runs his own business. (Ahem)
Plus, he can whack your old boyfriends and the girls who were mean to you in high school.

[Lisa Daily]

Fab-u-lous comments everybody.

Atticus Finch! How could I leave him off the list?

And Blonde Bond. A given, obviously.

I was never much of a Heathcliff fan myself (too mean!), but had so many friends in high school and college who thought his particular brand of passion was inspiring.

[Lisa Daily]

Also,

Thank you kind people for not giving me crap in a Saturday morning for my spelling gaffe. All fixed now :-)

XO,

Lisa

[Marie]

In my love tortured youth I had crushes on brooding, strong silent types. My heart be all aflutter whenever my newest crush would be near. Later when I chose my lifetime spouse who loves to chatter and tease and all in all charm me I reflected that all the strong silent types were silent because they had nothing to say, So I was saved from myself. Hallelujah. Let's here it for modern movie types like Jack Lemmon.
Rhett Butler was commanding but kind of intimidating to my not to shy self.

[Darlene]

I'm with Nancy--I've always had a thing for Hawk. And lately I've been smitten with Bones from Jeri Smith-Ready's vampire series.

[Karen in Ohio]

Omigod, Kathy, after my husband and I saw Last of the Mohicans on a rainy Sunday afternoon, I gave him permission to go live in California for a year without us (which he did). And then I went and got every single one of the James Fennimore Cooper books in that series, and READ THEM. Which was ridiculous, in retrospect, because there is about three pages in the entire series in common with about three minutes of that movie. Fennimore Cooper was dry as the Sahara, and his books were as exciting as watching corn grow.

But Daniel Day Lewis? Hotter than asphalt pavement on an August day in Phoenix in that movie. Whoo-hee.

[Tom]

Harriet Vane.

[Mary Eman]

So glad to read that I'm not the only one who never cared for Heathcliff or Cathy or Wuthering Heights at all!
But, Rhett Butler, there's a man.....and I don't think he left scarlett because he only liked the chase. He had reached the "Enough is enough" point with her. But I've always thought they did get back together (ignoring that truly awful "Scarlett").
Have you ever read the Sharp series by Bernard Cornwell? Richard Sharp, in the books, and as played by Sean Bean on the tube, is something else again. My heart goes pitter-patter, pitter-patter.
Another tv hero for me is Ross Poldark (the books are good too), dark, wearing tight breeches, high fitted boots, velvets and leathers, and full of angst. (My husband is as far from angst as you can get, thank goodness!)
All time favorite: Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod or Highlander:the Series. I'd follow Duncan (or Adrian Paul, the actor playing him) anywhere....I think.

[Harley]

Yes, I think the Scottish are an entire sub-genre of HOT. In fact, notice how many of these guys are British or Irish/Scottish/Welsh/Whatever?

And I'm not much for long stringy hair either, but in Last of the Mohicans you could forgive it.

[gaylin in vancouver]

Lost In Austin - BBC mini series. really good

I will get in line for Blonde Bond, I believe Harley and a few others have 'dibs' on him before me . . .

[storyteller Mary]

Harley, please leave Albus for me . . . though perhaps even he would have annoying little habits . . .yeah, probably so. I'll cast a vote for Rhett as well -- he tolerated so much before giving up, and served as a warning that sometimes one can irretrievable break a relationship, so be careful. Probably the first order of business is to be self-sufficient, ready for a relationship of equality . . . Thank goodness, we now have that option!
I just finished _Widow's War_ the McClay Library book club. Excellent book -- stirring all my feminist sentiments! (Also, this time I'll have the book finished well before the meeting ;-)

[Antigonos]

Francis Crawford of Lymond and Sevigny.
Walter Peabody Emerson ("Ramses")

[PK the Bookeemonster]

Darcy is first and foremost. However, since this is fiction, I choose both film versions of him -- if one gets tiresome for a while, they switch places.

[Hester from Atlanta]

What about Father Peter in Ballykissangel. Stephen Tomlinson is fabulous. It was a book before it made it to TV. The tortured Priest who finally makes up his mind and then the bride to be dies? Tears for days.
Hester from Atlanta

[Martina, age 25]

Seriously, you say that we would not wanna date Mr. Darcy because he is vain and rude. But it's true that girls often look for a guy that is just like their own father is. And Mr. Darcy is something I've known for ages from my home. I even find some "intelligent vanity" very, very sexy on a guy! So he would be a perfect mate for me. A dream come true. Since I am like Lizzy/Darcy myself, I'd definitely want my own Darcy. It's just... you know... WHERE TO FIND HIM? I'm gonna pray to God to send my my own Darcy I could easily recognize. And distinguish him from the crowd of the other men. This guy is special. And I'll try to do almost anything to find him.