The Destination, Not the Journey

Sometimes It's the Destination, Not the Journey

by Nancy   

I'm back from Hawaii.  It was a lovely vacation.

One big thing you're told to do when you visit Maui is to get into a car and drive the famous Road to Hana.  And it's gorgeous.  You wind through the rain forest, catching glimpses of beautiful water falls through the trees and gazing in wonder at stunning ocean vistas from high cliffs. Climb out of your car to wade in tide pools. Take a picnic and enjoy it while keeping watch for whales in the distance. Black lava beaches, sailboats, windsurfers--the scenery makes you gasp.

So does the realization that you've spent 5 agonizing hours on a twisting mountain road, dodging marijuana-smoking hitchhikers and careering minivans on one-lane bridges---and you still have to turn around and make the same damn drive in reverse.

Yeah, it's pretty.  The first hour was really lovely.  So was the second.  The third, I'm wondering if I'll ever feel my butt again.  And eventually my ankles were the size of pineapples, and the swim-up pool bar at the resort was a distant dream.  

The travel home was a bitch, too.  Complicated by the tiny tumble I took on a rocky beach.  I landed on my keister which is the thing you must sit on for fourteen hours in order to get back to Pittsburgh from Hawaii.  Let me tell you, I am ready to take a vow never to leave my neighborhood again.

Yeah, I know.  Life's a journey, and you're supposed to appreciate every small step of the way.  Smell the flowers.  Enjoy the view.

Screw that.  Sometimes you just want to get where you're going and to hell with the damn trip. Once somebody figures out that Star Trek instant transportation thing, I'll be ready for a world tour.  But, jeez, there's nothing enjoyable about travel anymore.  On our USAirways flight, we were offered cheese and crackers. For $7!  Otherwise, there was nothing to eat.  Why don't they just call themselves Cannibal Air and be honest with us?  My mother flew from New York to Paris in 1947.  The flight took 12 hours and she was offered numerous meals with white linen napkins, real silver and crystal.  She even sipped her first glass of wine on that flight!  Two years ago, my husband and I flew from Frankfurt to Washington DC, and the flight took 16 hours.  We were given something called a "sandwich" with a little jar of mustard on the side.  I have no clue what the meat was supposed to be, but it smelled like dirty socks.

                       

Hawaii was beautiful (those beaches!) and wondrous (we snorkled in Hanauma Bay!) and delicious (pineapples taste totally different over there!) and charming (the people are very chatty and friendly--even with tourists) but I doubt I'll ever see it again.  It's just too arduous to get to those magnificent islands.

We enjoyed our traveling companions enormously, by the way.  All six of us got along beautifully. (I am not sure I could have traveled 10 days with my extended family in such peace and pleasure.)  But one moment in particular made me think of the TLC community:

I was sitting on an outdoor bench while a friend purchased gifts in a shop a few feet away.  I smiled hello at a grandmother and her 19-month-old adorable granddaughter as they walked into the shop.  The baby girl toddled over to a display of small American flags and grabbed one with her chubby hands.  She looked up at her gramma with a big smile and said, "Obama!"

They love their native son over there. Made me proud to be an American.

                                    

Comments

[kris]

Ah, Hawaii. Nancy, you're making me remember the joys of our trip. Once we got there, it was wonderful. But the getting ...

We flew out in February of 2003, in two groups because we were using airmiles, & didn't have enough for us all to fly together. The night before departure, we learned of a major snowstorm that was set to impact the airport my husband & eldest son were flying through. Major last-minute scramble, but by being proactive, we were able to reroute them. That was the GOOD part of the trip.

Then it got interesting.

1. I was on the nonstop flight with 3 of the kids, ages 11, 8, and 2. We boarded the plane and DD (the 2 year old) obviously needed a diaper change. Ran to the bathroom, navigated the change "table", got her stripped down, she said "Pee" for the first time ever - then did that. Al over her clothes and the change table. With the FASTEN SEAT BELT announcements coming fast & furious.
2. She pooped over Chicago. And California. And somewhere in the middle of the frickin' ocean.
3. We tried giving her Benadryl to help her sleep. Guess who was in that small per centage of kids who gets hyper with Benadryl, as opposed to sleepy?
4. TURBULeNCE.
5. The man across the aisle had medical issues (in the middle of the turbulence) that his wife somehow expected ME to solve. The flight attendants called for any doctors on board. DOcs came, talked to the man, checked him out, found out he was passing out because he hadn't eaten because he didn't like the food on the plane. Can you say too stupid to live?
6. When we landed (AT LAST!), found that the hyperactive kiddo (who had slept for about 20 minutes of a 12 hour flight) had clawed all but one the button off my shirt. Which meant that every time I moved, I exposed myself to everyone in the airport.
7. They lost our luggage.
8. My husband's flight was late, so instead of meeting up in the airport as planned, I had to navigate myself & three wiped out kids to the hotel alone. Not a big deal when you're awake & in a place you know, but ...
9. The kids had done such a fabulous job through the flight that I promised them a special treat of room service. They were so excited. It got them through the last 4 hours. So what happened? The husband had booked us in probably the only hotel on Oahu with no room service.

But despite it all, it could have been worse. The husband & son finally arrived, our luggage showed up, all was well. And we spent the next three days watching TV stories about the huge blizzard that had shut down every airport in the Northeast, watching images of stranded travelers, and realizing we had avoided that fate by mere hours.

Oh yeah. It was a trip to remember.

[Nancy Martin]

But Hawaii was beautiful, right, right? So how come we remember the ghastly trip getting there? It's totally unfair.

[Sarah]

I've always wanted to see Hawaii and worry I won't. So I lived vicariously thru this post, Nancy.....The winding road though? I hear ya! I'd be clutching the dashboard from point A to B!

And, yes, flying is NO FUN!

[kris]

Nancy, absolutely. It was gorgeous and fabulous and breath-taking and inspiring. I'm still glad we went, even with the travel woes. in fact, we were talking about it just last night, and the child who was 8 at the time wants to go back because he barely remembers it.

I would like to return ... but I would do it leisurely the next time, and make it a true break. We're talking 6 - 8 weeks. The dream itinerary:
1. fly to Seattle. Spend a couple of days there.
2. On to Hawaii. Maybe a week.
3. New Zealand. A week.
4. Australia. A week.
5. Possibly another island - Samoa?
6. A different Hawaiin island.
7. San Francisco.
8. Home.

[Jennifer]

Hey Nancy! I'm from Pittsburgh too! I can't imagine a 14-hour flight! Hawaii is on my wish-list -- and I'm closer to it from Denver than Pittsburgh...maybe some day!

~ Jennifer
http://thetoyboxyears.blogspot.com/

[Laurie Moore]

Oh, Nancy, just think of all the book material you got from that long road to Hana. And you're right...pineapple does taste better over there.

My trip to Hawaii was when my daughter was 18 mos. It was Christmas, so everything was "Mele Kalikimaka" with fat Hawaiian Santas and Christmas lights. In 80 degree weather. Not that you can't expect 80 degree weather in Texas at Christmas. But you can expect 29 degree weather, too. That trip was absolutely wonderful once my baby and I disenfranchised ourselves from my then-husband and his parents.

Oh, sure, they got to go to the pineapple farms, and the memorials (my father-in-law had been a Commander in the Navy during WWII), but my daughter and I did what we were born to do--we got major shopping and food sampling done.

My daughter, who's getting married next May, said they were thinking of getting married in Hawaii--get this!--in order to discourage certain members of the family from attending her wedding (she knows her grandmother will appear in a long, white, formal, white, designer, white gown). When I reminded her what a burden it would be on her other guests to attend such a wedding (at their expense), and that, matter of fact, the ONLY people who could afford to travel there would be the family members she was trying to discourage from attending, she decided to have it elsewhere. And where is that?

I do not know.

What I do know is that she must be in Texas if she ever bears children, as she's an 8th generation Texan and de facto Daughter of the Republic of Texas; therefore, any offspring must be native Texans. It's a good thing that no matter where you are, you still love coming home...it's not an attitude, it's a way of life.

[Nancy Martin]

Sarah, one of the most important places to visit in Hawaii is Pearl Harbor. Mind you, the national park does a terrible job of telling the story and herding people around, but that memorial over the Arizona---where over 1700 Americans are still interred--is very moving. I was particularly touched by the number of survivors who, after their own deaths many years later, had chosen to be buried with their comrades long after the bombing.

[Laura (in PA)]

I have so often wished for that ability to beam ourselves from one place to another.

Until that time, I doubt I will see Hawaii. I'm sure it's amazing, but I'm not sure I could handle the flight. And I know my husband couldn't. I may just to back to Ireland - it's only 6 hours. The weather isn't as good, but the scenery is gorgeous.

Glad you had a nice time, Nancy, other than the there and back part. And what a sweet story about the young child and the flag!

[Book Tarts]

Welcome back,Nancy.
I'm with you. I love being in new cities -- but hate traveling there. Airplanes are no longer romantic, just big tubular busses. I'm partial to boats, though. I could take a boat tour anywhere.
Elaine Viets

[Sarah]

My father threw a fit at Pearl Harbor. He got there at closing time and instead of allowing my father - a WWII veteran - in at the last minute, they ushered in a group of Japanese tourists.

Needless to say - it was not a pretty outcome.

[Kathy Sweeney]

Welcome Back, Nancy!

I love Hawaii. Went with a group when I was 16 - including all four of my grandparents. One of the best times of my life.

They don't card there, you know, and everything is a party with fruity umbrella drinks.

My brother went recently and said he loved it because Big is Beautiful over there (there is a 12 year difference between us, but last time we were at a Pirate game, people thought we were twins. It's the fat faces.) I should retire there. Assuming I hit the lottery.

[JanetLynn13]

Loved reality you interjected in the second paragraph. I always cringe when I hear about the Road to Hana - I don't think I could enjoy the sights with such a long trek. Everyone always makes it sound so romantic. Your the first person to relate the trip with the reality of doing it.

I've always wanted Samantha Stevens ability to twitch her nose and go whereever she wanted. The journey is Not part of the fun for me.

I hope the bad memories fade and you remember the good ones!

[Pam aka SisterZip]

Dear Hubby & I hate to travel. Flying is preferable to driving, but we just can't afford the hotels in which we could be comfortable. (I am trying to work on my grammar and not end a sentence with a preposition. {{{whine}}} its hard!)

[PK the Bookeemonster]

Ah, Hawaii. Yes, hated the loooonng flight. Our trip was a convention for my husband's business. Long story short: tropical storm, all events cancelled, flooded room, water up to ankles in town, bent over palm trees and muddy surf, guy drove into the airport and set his vehicle on fire the day we were to leave so airport shut down, leaving was like the last plane out of Saigon. So no, I haven't seen what Hawaii is really like.

[gaylin in vancouver]

Seeing as how I live in Vancouver and can get non-stop flights to Hawaii, you would think I have gone there. But no when I want to be hurtling through the air in a steel tube with crappy food and tiny bathrooms, I want to end up at Disney World!
And kudos to all you brave brave people who travel with children!

[Rita Scott]

ex#1 won a trip to Hawaii, but he said that since our son was only 3 months old, he didn't think I'd want to go! (that meant that he took the money instead and ran around on me!)
For me to fly now? I would have to have a big meal first, fitted with a super Depends, then drugged to unconsiousness! Ain't gonna happen!

[kris]

I think the key to being able to endure flights is to do one that never ends, so all others seem easy in comparison. To this day my boys will say, "Seven hours on a plane? That's nothing! It took 16 hours to fly to China!"

[Nancy Martin]

This just in from Xena, who can't get Mr Typepad to cooperate. Guess we haven't clued her in to the sexual favors he demands.

Soooo....Nancy I can't believe you weren't airlifted out of there and had to endure the return trip! Beam me up Scottie! What a trouper! Well you have some memories etched in your mind or at least your gluteous maximus that you'll remember for a long time.
I have to agree with the actual traveling part sometimes ruining the trip part. Having danced all over the world I have had my share of airplane/airport disasters.
It seems like fun at first. Going to other countries...getting paid to do something you love and experiencing the culture not as a tourist but as a part of the working class. It's way cool living in a hotel. You get to know the maid who makes up your room. Your sheets and towels are always clean. The kitchen staff usually let's you in after they've closed in the middle of the night to make a grilled cheese. You can sleep until noon. I swear I saw the sun rise more than I saw the sun set. Very Cool!
But then tours like Columbia were week gigs traveling to another city on Monday. Rehearsal Tuesday afternoon and 2 shows a night until the next Monday when you did it again. Hardly enough time to unpack your trunk. I got off the plane/bus first to scope out the theatre and decide where the cast would do what. They checked in and hit the spa or the pool. I did all the costumes too so you can imagine.
We were stranded in Bogota. No visas to Argentina were being issued. I think they were waiting for a bribe but meanwhile we went down to immigrations every day and waited. No fun.
Finally, and I'm not making this up, we boarded a plane with goats and chickens. We were already a week late but I had had the for sight to ask the girls to keep their Wilkommen costumes with them in case we needed to do publicity shots when we got there. Kim couldn't fit her costume (the one with the sequin bra and hip hugger hot pants) in her luggage so she wore it underneath her clothes. She also had a big stuffed clown doll that her boyfriend had given her as a gift. Might as well have painted a bulls eye on her chest.
Buenos Aires was closed because of weather so they landed in Rosario for an unexpected layover. We get off the plane and are herded to a small but okay hotel and I realize Kim is not with us.
This is not cool as I personally promised her parents I'd make sure she wasn't sold into "white slavery". It turned out a sniff dog had her grabbed and searched and questioned. The 2 foot stuffed clown was no help (hello we were coming from Columbia) and after seeing the sequin bra and shorts well... she could have been there for quite a while. Turned out she had saved a steak from her last meal with her boyfriend in her PURSE as she didn't know when we'd eat again. Can you say stupid in Spanish?
This is the same dancer who thought they did not have Tide in third world countries and had zip lock bags of white powder on the top of her clothes in her trunk when we arrived. Estupido!
Nancy, I understand your travel pains. I'm sure the experience outweighed the uncomfortable car ride. And I bet you could still swim up to the pool bar afterward!
Just saying.

[Nancy Martin]

Did I mention we went to a luau on the beach? Complete with roasted pig and hula dancers. Including male dancers in loincloths. I must admit, I thought of our Xena. Those dancers didn't need her costuming skills.--It was all about the body, ladies. Woohee!

[michele]

Wow, Nancy, that sounds like a grueling drive! I get carsick, so I would've been very unhappy. But the rest of the trip sounds divine.

I was in Hawaii a number of years ago and loved it as an outdoor adventure destination. There's lots of great hiking. But the beaches didn't impress me. Maybe it's the islands I went to -- the Big Island and Kuaii?

[Laurie Moore]

Rita Scott: "I would have to have a big meal first, fitted with a super Depends, then drugged into unconsciousness!" Outstanding idea! Like that crazy stalker astronaut woman who wore the NASA diapers all the way to Florida to confront her astronaut boyfriend's new girlfriend. Sounds perfect. And the big meal? Go after gorging all day Thanksgiving and then you wouldn't need to be drugged. The enzymes in the turkey would have you napping for hours.

xena: "Meanwhile, we went down to immigrations every day and waited." At this point, I would've been carted off to jail. I can't stand long lines or waiting. And a steak and baggies of Tide? Now that's hysterical funny. The UK is all that's left on my bucket list in the way of travel. And I'll need to lose fifty pounds to be comfortable in the seats.

Nancy, in Colorado, there's a narrow, winding, straight-up road named appropriately, "Oh My God Road". I kid you not. It's closer and cheaper if you decide to try it.

PK the Bookeemonster: "...guy drove in to the airport and set his vehicle on fire..." I know it's not funny, but that put a stitch in my side. Thanks for that vivid, visual reminder to stay out of airports.

Sarah, that's terrible that they let Japanese tourists in but were going to turn your father away. I hope he pitched a hissy fit and got in. That's just not right...

[Harley]

Oh, I LOVE Hawaii. But the last time I went, my youngest daughter, then age 1, had a horrible time and screamed the whole way there (giving new meaning to the term "nonstop") . . . I locked myself in the relatively spacious airplane bathroom with her for a few hours, to give the other passengers a break. Her twin brother and older sister slept happily the whole way. I know, you're going to suggest Benadryl, but my daughter is that special 1 out of 100 for whom sedatives act like stimulants.

Other than that, paradise!

[storyteller Mary]

Hawaii is SO beautiful, though - that I will go back surely. The niece who joined me on my second trip had been there when she was really little.
There are some cruises that go from California -- shorter flight, longer cruise. I think that would work for me . . .

[Laraine]

I truly felt Hawaii was worth the trip: Once. I only saw Oahu, but I stayed with a kind friend who made sure that I knew what to see and how to get to it, and allowed me to rest and play on a different quiet beach every day. But, six hours in an overcrowded plane, in the won't-recline seat against a bulkhead, is an experience I don't long to repeat any time soon.
Harley, it's amazing you are still sane, if you spent hours in an airplane bathroom with a screaming baby. No wonder you know how to write of an intrepid and creative Wollie!

[ArkansasCyndi]

I will probably never make it to Hawaii. I really do not enjoy flying anymore. The seats are too small. There is no food. The person in front of me has to lay in my lap.

I'm traveling in my motorhome. We are in Asheville, NC for a week then up to Gettysburg area for 2 weeks. Wish I were going to be closer to my TLC buddies.