Every Little Bit Helps

Every Little Bit Helps

By Kathy Sweeney

Today, I'd like everyone to share a little something we can all do to help.  The only requirements are that it needs to be inexpensive (or free) and that it requires little effort, but at least enough that one pays attention.

For example, we are really trying to remember to take re-usable shopping bags to the store - grocery and otherwise.  And when we forget, we recycle the regular store bags (most grocery stores have drop boxes for this).

Earlier this week, our backblogger Alan suggested we send books to our warriors in Afghanistan.  Yes, you need to pay for shipping on this, but you could ask friends to chip in with both books and cash.  In case you missed it, check out the link in Wednesday's blog "Summer Reading List; Redux".

Getting a new cell phone?  Most phone companies have a box for you to drop off your old phone (with the accessories, please).  These phones are used for everything from sending them to our troops to providing emergency contact ability for someone who cannot afford a cell phone.

I personally love the random acts of kindness. Do you get coupons for free stuff you can't use?  Start keeping track of them and drop them off at a shelter.  When you travel, take the free toiletries and do the same.  On the 4th of July, we had free day passes to a local water park that were set to expire (the weather had been crappy and we didn't get to use them).  We took them to the park and gave them to people standing in line.  People were shocked and delighted.  My young friend and I simply asked that they pay it forward in some way.

Wash your hands - and this is no joke.  One of the best ways to keep from spreading germs is to wash your own hands.  Need to cough or sneeze?  Do it Dracula style and trap those germs in your own sleeve if you don't have a kleenex.  

Here is one that is easy, free and it shocks me that it doesn't happen more often.  If you are somewhere that is standing room only, and you are physically able, give up your seat to someone who is not.  I've seen pregnant women, people on crutches, and the elderly struggle to stand when there are a bunch of healthy young men and women sitting there, seemingly oblivious.

SMILE.  That's right.  The simple act of smiling at someone - whether it's a staff person or a stranger sitting alone, can make someone's day.  And unlike those sneezes, it's a good kind of contagious.

Since I know and love our TLC community, I am certain we can come up with many more - please share yours!

You know we're here 24/7, right?  We've got a couple of terrific Guest Blogs coming this weekend on TLC:

Karen E. Olson reveals a skin-deep secret on Saturday.

Mystery writer Neil Plakcy confesses that "Publishers Are like Boyfriends -- Which Is Why I Have Three" this Sunday.

Comments

[Laura (in PA)]

Wonderful suggestions, Kathy. I have 3 reusable grocery bags in the car, and use them for the stuff we get from the CSA farm, but rarely remember to bring them into the grocery store.

I'm a big fan of recycling, and even bring the cans and bottles home from work to put in my own recycling bin.

One of the things I try an make sure to do is let someone out in front of me in traffic. Too many people jostle for position. How much does it really matter if there's one more car in front of you?

We did the ticket thing too. I got tickets for a concert from work, and when we arrived to pick them up, we got four instead of two. This venue had inside seats and lawn seats, so we looked for a person with a child sitting on the lawn, and gave the inside seats to them (it was a rainy day).

One thing I've decided to do is carry a plastic bag with me on walks and pick up litter. I hate litter. Not only the usual things like wrappers and drink containers, but why do people who smoke consider the entire world to be their ashtray?

My personal plea is to be aware of people around you. One thing that makes me nuts is when people stop dead in the doorway of a store or the top of an escalator, and have a conversation. PLEASE move aside, people.

[SisterZip]

Kathy, you are so right. The look on someone's face when they are on the receiving end of one of those random acts is more than enough payment for me.

Have you seen the commercial (unfortunately for the company paying for the time I don't remember the company) where the guy didn't have enough cash for his coffee...a stranger paid for it. He then helped a woman who had papers knocked out of her hands. She goes on to give up her seat at the bus stop to a woman with a baby & another kid. I think there was a total of 5 or 6 RAOKs but it makes you realize that its the simple things that can brighten someone's day.

[Kathy Sweeney]

I got this one via e-mail from someone too shy to post:

Don't leave water running. If you are brushing your teeth, only turn the water on when you need it.

[Jen]

Turn your computer off when you're sleeping or not going to be around for a couple of hours. Yes, you might have to wait a minute in the morning to have it come on, BUT: We have three computers in our house, and I started making sure two of them got turned off every night last month. Today got the electric bill--$30 LESS than last month, and we've been using the air conditioner more. Those computers sure suck up a lot of power when they're not in use...

[Laura (in PA)]

Sister Zip - I love that commercial! I can't remember who it's for, either, lol.

[Harley]

Yesterday at Costco (I love Costco) a customer was berating the checkout guy for someone coupon snafu that was clearly not the checkout guy's fault and the checkout guy was calm and polite, calm and polite, even when the customer kept going on and on and on, he was just calm and polite, and as the customer took his time leaving (still grousing loudly) he said, "Sir, are you okay? Is there anything else I can do to make this better?" when any normal person would be saying, "And don't let the door hit you as you leave, buddy."

As I paid for my groceries, I said, "you handled that really well" and he said, "thanks for telling me that."

Everyone loves to be acknowledged out loud. I forget to do it quite a lot, even with my own kids.

[William Simon]

I try and remember the adage, "A man is judged by how he treats people he does not HAVE to be kind to." Always, ALWAYS, be kind to wait-staff. Slightly over-tip your hotel porter and maids. If you want exceptional service, duke the bartender at the START of the evening. My grandfather taught me "Please", "Thank you," "May I?" are powerful words, magical words.

They've served me well over the years.....

[twist]

Whenever I cross a toll bridge, I pay the toll for the car behind me. I check the rear-view mirror as I pull away, and if it's an older car, all the better. The best thing is that it's anonymous; they can never catch up to see who I am.

[Alan P.]

The RAOK circle ad is for an insurance company, but I don't remember which one. I have moved my bags to under the front seat. I never remember to get them out of the trunk until it is too late. I also use the free tote bags instead of the store bags. They hold more and are easier to carry.

Check with day care centers near you. Many recycle all sorts of things into art. Just check before you show up with stuff.

Many communities have electronic recycling programs. When it is new computer time, drop off the old one. Also, some community have e-recycling days and will take all sorts of old electronics.

While it may sound noble, chances are your local school cannot use your old computer. Check with the district's IT staff. If they start hem and hawing, it is because they cannot take it and don't want to hurt your feelings. DO NOT check with your classroom teacher or your neighbor the board member. They will say yes and then there is a headache for the IT staff when they need to deal with the ten year old Dell in the all Mac network. Sorry it is what I do and have had to deal with on many, many, many occasions.

[Nancy Martin]

I'm trying to re-train myself. When people say, "Thank you!" I am trying not to say, "No problem." Because if you say "no problem," there is clearly an impression of a problem, if not an outright problem. I'm trying to learn to say, "My pleasure." It's a lovely sentiment.

[Buff]

Pick up Trash. You don't have to be obsessive about it, but if we all pick up some of the trash some of the time, there wouldn't be so damn much.

Say Hello/Good Morning to people you pass on the street. Its the smallest thing, but can be a big lift to your (or someone else's) day.

[Elaine Viets]

Let someone get ahead of you in a long traffic line. It costs nothing and cuts down on the cussing, raised fingers and wear and tear.

[bea]

Give blood. Easy for the donor, and vital for the recipient. All it takes is a bit of time and a minor degree of planning.

[William Simon]

Precisely, Elaine! Again, to quote my grandfather, "Courtesy and manners are free.... you can be generous."

Wish that man was still alive....

[Kerry]

What a great blog, Kathy! I'm sure we all do this, but it's worth mentioning -- give your used books away to someone/someplace that can use them. Try hospitals, for example. I give mine to the University library where I work; their annual sale generates cash assistance to their student workers. Just be sure to check before you drop them off.

If you don't need the catalogs, call the companies and have them canceled. This is now a holiday tradition at my house :)

I second, third, and fourth the suggestion about being warm, kind, and polite. I try to be extra nice to folks I've seen get dumped on (like the salesguy above) and do a pretty good job of apologizing profusely when I've been impatient and out-of-sorts myself.

It's amazing how nice it is to just make eye contact with a smile . . .

[xena]

Soooo....I started doing something a while back that really isn't a big deal unless you are the one with the cardboard sign standing at the red light walking between the cars.
I always have a cliff bar or granola bar in my bag for those times when there is no time to eat or your stomach clock goes off and you need to get something in there ASAP. I also don't carry a lot of cash as the tarts have pointed out there are few times when I need it and my charge card tells me what I've spent on what. No change for tolls with the Sunpass and I don't go anywhere with off street parking that have actual meters anymore.
So there is a person who is standing in the heat and I reach in my purse for...the food and put that in their cup. I know they will have something they can eat and it cost less than a buck. I also see them smile and I smile back knowing my buck is not going up their nose or worse.
I always get paper bags when I forget my cloth one but I just got a new basket for my green Schwinne Breeze (complete with chrome bumpers and handlebar tassels) that comes off and has a shoulder strap. Perfect for those little trips to the store! I take it off fill it up and skip the store bags altogether.
When I was in Vegas our apartment manager had a door decoration contest for Christmas. The two bachelors downstairs asked me to help. They had nothing but plastic grocery bags on hand so we cut them into strips and hooked them on a circle frame to make a really impressive wreath. They won and took me to dinner! So do ask the art teachers next time if they'd like some shoe boxes before you toss or recycle them.
I also cook more than I need and take it to my parents or the neighbors. If I'm holding heavy on eggs I share. The bowl always comes back with one of their specialties. RAOK's are normal operating procedure in my little city.
And you are correct about recycle stuff becoming art Alan P. I make all kinds of costumes out of all kinds of "trash".
Just saying.

[storyteller Mary]

My P.T. Mara said she had started paying her bills "with grace," wishing blessings on the recipients. I tried it (really useful, since I have bills on two homes right now) -- it elevates the mood to think how grateful I am for whatever I'm paying for -- safe water in the pipes coming right to my home, someone to cart away my trash twice a week . . . It helps. (but I still want to sell that condo and will wish many blessings on the new owner).
At a Y in-service Sunday evening, the Metro aquatics director said that making a difference "one person at a time" is a big part of our work, and knowing that is part of the reward. So many in the aqua-aerobics class have had serious medical challenges, new hips and knees and other issues, and the fitness gained in the class is really a help.

[storyteller Mary]

--let someone out in front of me in traffic.
I do that often, and love it when they wave a thank you!
My dad taught me to make room for semis and then flash the lights to let them know (although I've heard there are now other issues with flashing lights). Dad used to flash his lights to suggest to other drivers to turn on their lights at dusk. I drove halfway home with lights off one evening, not realizing it -- now I leave the headlights on all the time (they turn off when I turn off the car).
And that reminded me of hearing of this book Berger, K. T.
_Zen Driving_, which I've just requested from the library.

[Laurie Moore]

twist: "I pay the toll for the car behind me." Well, bless your heart. You clearly don't live in the DFW metroplex...

Laura in PA: "I try to...let someone in front of me in traffic." Well, bless your heart, too, and I know you don't live in the DFW metroplex, either. A few years ago, I read that one in five Suburbans comes to Texas. Well four in five are in the DFW metroplex. And let me tell you, the people who drive them are bullies here. Only I date a guy who refuses to let them in (this is a stomach-clutching, knuckle-whitening event when riding with him) because he says he needs a new car anyway "so go ahead, hit me." It's no wonder I'm high strung. But that's inherently better than people who mouth insults in the rear view mirror.

Here's my suggestion (and it's not original because someone did it to me when I inadvertently cut them off in traffic): Instead of giving drivers a stiff middle finger (I really didn't intend to cut anyone off), the person I accidentally cut in front of locked eyes with me in my rear view mirror, let go of the wheel and clapped. Clapped! As if I'd just performed a challenging act for her benefit. Let me tell you, that made me feel worse than if she'd responded with a rude gesture. Now I do it to people who cut me off. You can see them lowering their heads, on instinct, as if they'd received a dressing down. Except it doesn't work on gang bangers. Just ignore that unless you've got your gun on the seat next to you.

Which reminds me...twenty years ago, when the Great State of Texas was searching for a license plate motto (they settled for "The Lone Star State"), they held a contest for the best submission. I still believe I should've won with "What're you lookin' at, buddy?" That's just how it is.

Harley, your story about the poor check-out guy reminded me of a similar story, only after the rude dog left the store and the check-out girl started bagging up the next customer's groceries, the patron said, "But I didn't pay for these." And the girl said, "Don't worry, I put it on that guy's tab." Muahahahahahhaha.

[Laurie Moore]

One more suggestion...not all drivers are rude. But in South Texas, it's still customary to wave at oncoming drivers when on country roads. Like saying, "Howdy, neighbor." Those are the people who would stop to help you change a tire or call for help if you were stranded. Maybe the last of the good guys...it's a dying breed.

[Kathy Sweeney]

These are wonderful!

Here are a couple more:

(This one carries some risk) In a situation like Harley's, where some rotter is treating an employee in a rude way, I try to intervene. Now that I'm older and wiser, I just use words. But saying something like "Look, man, this guy is just doing his job" can work wonders. If it doesn't, try "Look, bub, If you want to take your crap out on someone, try me." Sometimes they do, and that is really fun. But usually they at least back off.

Parking meters - we still have them in some neighborhoods. If I see a meter reader in the area and an expired meter, I stick a quarter in there. Ditto for those lots where you have to get the paper for the dashboard - if I have time left, I hand it off to an incoming car on my way out.

[Kathy Sweeney]

Nancie the Gun Tart says Phoenix is worse, but I have never seen worse driving than in Houston. Why they even have traffic signals is a mystery - no one pays any attention.

Pittsburgh is really very good that way - we tend to take our turns. We do have a local custom called the "Pittsburgh Left" - this means if you are the first car in the left turn lane and you hit it as soon as the light changes, you have an informal right-of-way against oncoming traffic. Just so you know.

We also tend to queu up nicely for the bus and to get into events. Friends from NYC were here once and were in shock.

[Marcia in OK]

I always try to let someone turn in front of me in traffic if it can be done safely.

And,in my office, cleaning is done in-house, and the gals that do it don't put out any extra frills. So, when the hand soap, paper towels, TP, kitchen supplies etc get low, I always refill.

When leaving the movie theatre, I make sure all in my party take their trash to a bin. Picking up other peoples' trash is a disgusting job, and the $ is never enough for that kind of work!

[gaylin in vancouver]

My next door neighbour is a young man whose family is in another province so when I bake I always leave a bag of treats at his door.

I pay attention for tourists taking photos of each other and always ask if they want a photo taken together.

I work at smiling at people on the street and being pleasant, though it is often difficult in downtown Vancouver when there are so many scary homeless people and drivers trying to kill pedestrians for the sake of getting across that crosswalk . . .

I have used cloth bags for 20 years, I have a grocery backpack have 2 grocery bags inside of it, that way I never forget them. But I am good at forgetting the grocery list.

When my friend Anne was in the hospital I always ended up opening things for her and the other patients whose hands weren't working quite right. Those little yogurt containers with the foil lides are hard for older hands to open. And I always washed my hands before and after.

[-V-]

~ We keep a DSW bag full of cloth bags in the back of my car for groceries. I am working on remembering to bring them into department stores.
~ Composting for my garden
~ I love smiling at people as I pass by. It's funny sometimes to see the startled look on the faces of some, but mostly I get smiles in return.
~Take care of your kids' teachers and caregivers. Do it random times, not just on holidays or end of school.
~Bring a trash bag on the walks to pick up trash along the way. I've had Lady K doing it since she could walk. Go to the park and first thing she does is look for trash to throw away in the proper receptacle.
~Please, thank you, and you're welcome are indeed magical words.
~Listening to audiobooks on my commute keeps me mellow and makes the pewp-cranium drivers around me not seem so icky. Lets me clap instead of 'finger salute' when they do something incredibly stupid.