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July 31, 2009

Bums in the News

Bums in the News

By Kathy Sweeney

The running joke in our house - like many homes which contain boys - is that all you have to do to make boys laugh is to make a joke using the word 'bum'.  In fact, during the Pre-K years, the word itself is a show stopper.

Blog bum swimsuit rip Perhaps that's why I happened to notice there were more bums than usual in this week's news.  If you missed it, during an international meet, an American swimmer split his suit down the back - right before his leg of the relay.  The relay team still won, and so did people with an eye for a fine specimen of the species. I mean, if you have to show some sculpted buns, where better than Rome, where they build museums around them?

Blog obama sarkozy bum A couple of weeks ago, our fine President appeared to be caught in the act of appreciating a fine Brazilian bum. Video shows that Obama may have been turned to help someone on the steps.  Sarkozy?  Not so much. Blantant booty check.  Hey, I'm not judging - if I still had a fine ass, I'd be parading it around too.

If you really want to see a lot of bums, watch HBO.  As a big fan of Charlaine Harris' Sookie Stackhouse books, I love seeing her characters in the series "True Blood". But if you are a book purist, you'll be disturbed - the series is very different.  One way that's true: BCPE, or Bum Count Per Episode.  Now, I'm no expert, and I don't watch all of HBO's series, but I'm willing to bet that True Blood has more BCPE than any other series, making "Entourage" look like an after-school special.  I mean, maybe "Oz" is in contention, but even with the Bada Bing and the Russian Whores, "The Sopranos" isn't even in the running. 

Not that there's anything wrong with that.  But just in case you want to watch True Blood and are offended by bums, here are some clues that a bum shot is imminent:

The Sookie and Bill music - lots of strings in this melody means at least one bum is just around the bend.

Jason Stackhouse - good for at least a couple of bum shots per episode.  I guess if I had to pick a bum for consistent BCPE, his would be a reasonable choice.  If you OCHFTS, Jason is your guy.

Shapeshifters - if you see someone ready to shift, get ready for a bum.  Applies to both men and women.

Tara - other than Sookie, the female most likely to rack up BCPE - especially when you hear - 

Blog maryann Drums - if you hear drums and/or see black irises, or this chick right here starts dancing, brace yourself. All kinds of bums.  Old, new, big, small.  Me?  I can do without seeing most of them.  

On regular network TV, the bum count is still pretty low.  People are still talking about the NYPD Blue episode that started it all - for $1.4 million in fines, I'd have liked to have a little more bum, but maybe that's just me.  But then, I don't watch much regular TV, and I don't watch any reality TV at all - that could be a bumfest for all I know.  I can tell you that I have yet to see a bum on NCIS, Castle, or The Mentalist. I'd have noticed.

Noticed any bums lately?


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Kathy, I'm forever in debt to you for that picture of the swimmer.

As far as bums, nothing to brag about. I had a wonderful view of the butt crack of one of the guys working on my porch, but, alas, it was not a sight anyone would line up to see. Let's just say I turned my head real quick - away.

The NYPD BLUE episode still stands out in memory; all that hyper, and it was David Caruso's?!?! Sheesh. What a ripoff.

Several months later, when it was Sharon Lawrence's turn in the shower, well.... I felt compelled to pay close attention to the screen....

Yeah, and when they got around to Andy's bum, well, I could have done without that.

I am currently taking physical therapy for my own bum, and let me tell you, I could take a pass on what I see regularly at the therapist's office. Thanks for the pic-me-up, Kath!

I live with 4 boys. If you include the dog. I see enough "bum". Why do these boys feel it necessary to walk around wih their bum hanging out all day. Do they forget I live here!


Too bad the suit didn't split further.....

As for Obama and Sarkozy....the expression on both their faces is amazing, but Sarkozy with his little pointed, uhm, eyebrows is priceless. If men ever give women flak for being "too emotional" to be president, then I think we have the counter argument right here. Leading with your dick....no way to run a country. Which might explain how we ended up in the state we're in!

Kathy, Oh my gosh! If there were bum shots on NCIS, Castle, or The Mentalist, I would have noticed as well! FIne looking men on all...

That swimmer picture is priceless!

For several years I've been lamenting the popularity of those damned baggy jeans. I recently realized while I like watching rodeos. Cowboys still wear tight jeans. Heh heh.

And let me add my thanks for the picture of the swimmer, Kathy.

Plenty of bum shots here in Florida, Kathy, but very few are worth viewing. The women are more likely to be toned than the guys. The men seem to lack "hindsight" when it comes to appraising themselves in mirrors. And gentlemen with hairy bums, here's a fashion tip: Skip the thongs, boys, unless you invest in Nair. Keep Florida beautiful.
Elaine Viets

During my extensive research for this blog, I found many more photos of the swimmer. I chose the tamest one where you could actually tell what happened. But for those of you who appreciated it, there are more out there. Plus, I found it a bit interesting that there were no real tan lines. Hmmmmm.

Janet - I know, right?! And now we're going to have another NCIS!

Kathy....we want links!

First of all, that's not the first suit to split. It split on an Italian woman swimmer and she was in tears. But not our Ricky Berens! (Who, may I add, has a fine down over his ass that he'll need to keep a watch on as he gets older.) HuffP has some great photos. But I like this because it shows his shoulders - I'm a sucker for shoulders - and because he seems rather, shall we say, modest.


On TV we tend to watch either FoodTV and The Disney Channel if the princesses are around or The Closer, Royal Pains, Warehouse 13 (or wierdhouse as Molly has taken to calling it.) and In Plain Sight if they are not. Watching The USA network gives you plenty of "Burn Notice" ads with whatever her name is in bikinis or some other beach wear every week.

I do enjoy my commutes across Forest Park. There are always several joggers or bicyclists to check out on the way. And there is also our favorite summer past time. Checking out the people in the free seat line at the Muny. There are not as many butts on display as cleavage, but it is always interesting.

Gee, Kathy, now that you mention it, I don't get nearly enough bum on In Plain Sight, my current fave TV show. We did get some fine ones on Battlestar Galactica. Sigh.

I've just started watching True Blood (get it from iTunes, download to iPod, watch while working out on the elliptical trainer). It's a great reward for exercising, that's for sure! And now I'll have more bum to watch for :)

Of course, if I really wanted to see bums, I could just turn on Fox News (cue rim shot . . .)

Sarah makes a good point. Obama and Sarkozy . . . rendered helpless by the Woman In Scarlet.

Kathy, you sure put the fun into Fun Friday.

The funny thing about Behrens' suit mishap is that NONE of the news agencies got a shot of his FACE that day, just his bum. HuffPo had to use a shot of his face from a news service.

When I was in Miami recently, before my daughter's cable was hooked up, we watched one episode of True Blood from the first season, via her Netflix subscription. Frankly, I don't see what all the fuss is about. And while I've read Charlaine Harris's other books, I've avoided her Stackhouse series because I'm so over vampires. It's good to know the TV show isn't as good as the books; isn't that always the way?

Kerry, you're so right. Fox has this pecksniff attitude that flaunts the very thing they purport to disapprove of. Bizarre attempt to appeal to prurient interests. Guess it works, though.

And his face is adorable, too!

I love In Plain Sight - I would not complain at all if they decided to show me Christian de la Fuente's bum. He doesn't seem to have much of a part on the show, otherwise.

I'm still going with Oz as the series with the most body parts on display. They were definitely an Equal Opportunity Gentalia Display Show (EOGDS for those into acronyms.) Pretty much everyone went full frontal, including Luke Perry.

Law and Order:SVU has never been the same with Chris Meloni, who keeps his clothes on when he's on this side of the law..

Jeffrey - I think you're right. I don't think there has been any full frontal on True Blood.

And I think Chris Meloni is a great actor - but he will always be that character from Oz to me.


Occasionaly, I get a phone call from neighbor..."Come over for coffee. He's mowing the grass!" I wander over with my cup in hand and we sit in her back yard watching our neighborhood hunk in tight shorts, tight tank style tshirt, working up a sweat with his lawn mower.

Our husbands don't mind.

That pictures of the swimmer is AWESOME!

Great blog post. So funny.

Pam isn't it great when husbands are secure enough to not care.
Speaking of bums. The best bum shot I saw all summer came in blazing blue, in that god awful movie Watchman. Even though the parts might have been digitally enhanced, it was the most interesting ass shot i'd ever seen.

My high school students were discussing _I Robot_ with me, as Asimov is a favorite author and I always would include some of his stories in my reading lists. One young lady warned me that I would see Will Smith's butt, but I thought she said blood and explained that they used a mixture of karo syrup and food coloring, which really confused the conversation. She asked what I thought she said, then clarified, "I said 'butt.'" "Oh," thought about it, then "OOOH! well that's alright then!" and totally shocked my young scholars -- "Miss Garrett!" what? I shouldn't notice?
My mom approved the viewing of the bathing scene at the beginning of "Much Ado About Nothing" for my high school students because, "they only show back views and the boys and girls aren't together." I'd explain that rationale to my Shakespeare students and say that if they felt their mothers were more strict than mine (none ever were), they should cover their eyes. ;-)

I'll confess that when I first saw the title, I thought you would be talking about homeless people . . .

Thanks for the link, Sarah. I clicked all the way to the end so that I could assure everyone that one photographer did, indeed, snap a photo of his face. You can thank me when I've recovered.

But Nancy, read the caption. It says "Ricky in Beijing (neither AP nor Getty took a photo of his face in Rome on Sunday)"

He was in Rome. Not Beijing.


Kathy, I just found NCIS this past Easter - USA reruns all day! I'm on a mission to see all the episodes - I've got about 20 more to see! I will watch the new series, but without DiNozzo and the rest of the crew, I don't think I will last long. I've got the hots for Tony!

Kathy, what a hoot! I have different opportunities to see bums in the context of my office--although even the nicest bum is usually only bared to reveal an itchy rash that the patient wants my attention to, or to demonstrate the exact point where sciatic pain originates . . . sorta keeps things real.
JanetLynn13, there was some full-body viewing opportunity going on in one of the first episodes of Mental, a few weeks back, in which the hunky shrink strips down to relate to a terrified paranoid patient--bold television, bold shrink. Since I haven't seen The Mentalist, I can't testify to any opps there.

Sort of thread hijack -- so what do y'all think of The Mentalist? Good stuff? I haven't checked it out yet . . .

Love The Mentalist. Simon Baker is adorable. Robin Tunny bugs me a little bit, but she's growing on me.

The Mentalist is one show my husband and I like to watch together. He can't stand all the gory police/CSI/doctor shows I like, and I'm horrified that I'm married to a man who likes to zone out to the ultimate lowbrow show, TMZ.

Elaine --
Hilarious! Keep Florida Beautiful...heh,heh...


Hey. what a nice post. you really hit the point to the "bum" thingy. you should check out the boys in miami! they are so funny. miami is great. you must come!

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

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