Another Marital Sex Blog
Another Marital Sex Blog
Six months ago, I wrote a blog in response to two books, one written by a Fundamentalist Christian couple - married, natch - about what happened when they committed themselves to sex for 100 days straight. In fact, for a while there, I kept a tally on the left-hand side just to keep y'all up to date on my attempt to do the same with Charlie, my husband of twenty years. I like to think it took blogging to a whole new (meaning inappropriate) level, not to mention what it did to marriage. Eventually, I removed it after someone noted our seventeen year old daughter might read the post and be grossed out. As if she's not grossed out by us already.
Sex every night was a lot more fun than I expected and it had surprising results that included better sleep, fewer fights and improved skin tone. Did we make it for 100 nights straight? No. And for that I blame, ironically, The Romance Writers of America who apparently were unaware of my vow and had the nerve to schedule a conference fifty days into our campaign. Some romance lovers they are.
I'd say we made it a little over a month, which I think is excellent, especially in light of a recent development from the Rev. Ed Young, a pastor at an evangelical church in Texas who has presented his followers (since also has a TV show) to take the Seven-Day Sex Challenge, like that's a big deal.
Seven days? Mere foreplay!
Now, I have to admit to being slightly cynical about evangelical pastors exhorting their female congregants to put out in order to keep the focus off the bad economy. I imagine a more sinister purpose. Knock her up? Keep her from reading after the kids go to bed? Keep her from taking night-school classes? But let's give the Rev. Ed Young the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he's trying to save the institution of marriage and make lives happier for millions of children.
After all, Young says, there's nothing wrong with marital sex. God invented it.
Uh...me thinks God invented lots of other sex including "a-sex" which seems to serve the intestinal protozoa quite well. But why get technical. Young's message is that after an entire adolescence being told sex is burn-in-hell-wrong, it's oookay once you say those two little words.
Unless you're gay and married. Then we're back to burn-in-hell-wrong.
Of course, regulating the sexual and procreative patterns of a people has always been the ultimate source of control. But that's me being cynical, again.
In this case, though, Young's right. It's easy to forget there's a benefit to marriage besides having someone else do the dishes for goddamn once. From a Christian perspective (and I happen to be one - Episcopalian - the polar opposite of randy Texan Christians, which might explain why we have 200, not 20,000 on Sunday), God created marriage for the mutual enjoyment and pleasure of two human beings* so they don't have to deal with the trials of existence alone.
Lately, there's been an epidemic of divorce in our town. And while it's hard to figure out which came first in these situations, I know these people were not enjoying regular sex. Was that because they felt cold toward one another and, therefore, their sex life fell off? Or was it that their sex life fell off, so they started feeling cold toward one another?
Only they can answer.
I do agree that the key benefit of regular sex no matter what, is that it gives new meaning to the old AA adage, fake it to make it. (And I don't mean faking that if you can help it.) Just as smiling when you feel down can improve your mood or being charitable makes you feel less stingy, sex for sex's sake does help things along.
And, frankly, the other thing I learned from sex every night? It's freaking weird how important sex is to men. Give them sex and you'll never have to cook another dinner or wash a sock. They will change your oil, rotate your tires, do the laundry and give back rubs. They will put the kids to bed, read them a story and sing Brahm's lullaby if they know there's a BJ in it later on. They will even change the litter box.
Just think...if women only knew, we could have already ruled the world. Maybe that's where Hillary went wrong.
If this blog's a rockin', do come a knockin'.
*Offer not available to all human beings in California, Arizona and Florida.