Bad Mommy!

by Nancy

In my own defense, my children turned out great.  But during their formative years, I had moments that weren't exactly Mother of the Year material.

                              

Like the two days I made my 18-month old daughter walk on her broken leg.  Mind you, the x-ray didn't show anything at all--nothing!--so I assumed she was just whining.  Eventually she communicated that I was an idiot, so I took her back for more x-rays, and sure enough, the leg was broken.

I also Had a temper tantrum and quit packing their school lunches when Cassie was in 4th grade and Sarah in 2nd. (Hey, if they're old enough to see the top of the kitchen counter, they can drop a few items into a paper bag, right?)  I threw another hissyfit and stopped doing their laundry before they hit junior high.

My attitude is that kids ought to recognize that Mom is a person, too, not the automatic, always-cheerful deliverer of food, fashionable clothes and boundless emotional support, especially during the tiresome teenage years. The purpose of a mother is not to bring any creature comfort the kids can't reach from their prone positions in front of the television. (Yell for some Doritos at my house, and you'd be likely to receive them crushed and poured over your head.)  A kid who recognizes that she can't boss around her own mother is a kid who grows up into a thoughtful, giving adult.

Giving your kids everything can be . . . bad.

                                    

And a mother who's a door mat is only teaching her kids a lesson that's not going to turn out well.

But then, I'm in the minority.  I know women who have devoted their lives to serving their children, and I admire them for their devotion.  No, really, I do.  They are better human beings than I am.

But I also admire my own mother who taught us independence and resilience and how to catch a fly ball, wipe the tennis court with your opponent, be a gracious loser when necessary and how to iron our damn own shirts.

                              

Some dim-witted organization gave Lindsay Lohan's mother a Mother of the Year award this year.  I'm not bothering to Google it for you, because no intelligent human being who reads People magazine would acknowledge Mrs. Lohan is a good mother. (I did read one Yahoo search item that started, "...she skipped her court date to visit Lindsay in rehab..."  'Nuff said, right?)

But I'm thinking Mrs. Lohan has time to clean up her act.  After all, we've all made mistakes as mothers.  Most of those mistakes turn out to be okay for our kids in the long run. I mean, my daughter had never let me forget the broken leg episode, and I think that's healthy.--Children should recognize that nobody's without fault. (But, really, isn't it a little strange that she's kept the cast all these years??  It's still on a shelf in the bedroom!)

For your entertainment on the day before Mother's Day, here's The Bad Mother's Club.

How about you?  Made any embarrassing motherly blunders? Do you feel a little pesticide on the apple you give your kid every day simply strengthens his immune system? (If you make your own baby food, I'll tell you right now that we're going to blackball you from the TLC Bad Mommy Club.) If your bag of tricks, do you have a heart-warming tale of blessed motherhood gone terribly wrong?

Today's your day to dish. To cleanse your soul.  We won't tell your mother, honest.

Comments

[Cheryl]

I often refer to our child rearing as "adventures in bad parenting". I was lucky enough to life guard at a community pool as a teenager. We were advised to be really tough, because if we didn't, our lives would be a living hell by the time we hit the Fourth of July. I think that it applies to kids.

Have to recommend "The Three-Martini Playdate: A Practical Guide to Happy Parenting". It is not as tongue-in-cheek as one may think.

Happy Mother's Day!

[ArkansasCyndi]

Mary Storyteller - I'm fine. I'm a great whiner and my lovely hubby has learned to tune me out. But the broken ankle was 17 years ago.. it's still a HUGE joke in our house.

[michele]

Late to the party here because I was at another party. My husband and I took 8 12-year old boys to see Iron Man and then out for Japanese food for my son's birthday. One kid got sick and had to go home, another lost his diabetes kit. Does that make me a bad mother?

I confess to letting my kids watch any movie they can handle, no matter what the content, if I think it's a good film. My kids are 8 and 12, but they've seen Saving Private Ryan and Mad Max and The Godfather and all sorts of other stuff. They've also seen West Side Story and My Fair Lady and pretty much all of Hitchcock. And oh -- Dances with Wolves. You know, that is a great movie! Next up -- Jaws.

[Mary Storyteller]

michele -- you are an amazing, brave woman!! I'm glad you survived the outing.
"Your ok, now" -- should have been "you're ok," or alternatively "your leg is ok"
This is why one always has friends proofread important and official writing.
Cyndi, my parents joked for years and years about his "beating her with a rubber hose" early in their marriage. (They were clowning around in the yard and the hose accidentally hit Mom). Then we would have the serious discussion about never staying in a relationship with anyone who would hurt us. . .good lesson.

[janetlynn13]

Kathi, I don't know if you will come back and read this, but we have much in common! I also allow my teen to use the basic swear words in my presence only, and for the very same reason! Not around other adults, though, and she knows it.