The Viets Family Recipes

By Elaine Viets

I’m still giggling over the Recipegate scandal. Cindy McCain, John McCain’s wife, has been accused of recipe theft.

What is Cindy’s heinous crime?

Three recipes supposedly lifted from the Food Network were posted as "Cindy’s Recipes" on the McCain campaign Web site. One more McCain family recipe may have been borrowed from Rachel Ray with minor changes, according to reports. The McCain campaign is now telling the press that the whole thing "is the work of an intern."

So what?

Cindy McCain is rich. The woman is every man’s dream – a beautiful blond with a beer distributorship. Do you really think Cindy ties an apron around that size two waist and whips up ahi tuna and Napa cabbage slaw in her kitchen? Or makes passion fruit mousse with her own manicured hands?

Are voters really that gullible?

Please, please say you’re not. Our nation has to elect a new leader this year.

What’s with the family recipe routine? When a man runs for his party’s presidential nomination, does that mean his wife has to cook up something for the voters?

That’s so last century. Nowadays, many men I know cook more often than their wives – and they cook better.

Cindy McCain missed the chance to be an inspiration our nation’s youth. What if a candidate’s wife said: "The only things I make for dinner are reservations. Here are the phone numbers of my five favorite carry-out restaurants."

She’d get my vote – and the vote of restauranteurs everywhere. Besides, doesn’t the White House have a chef?

My mother had four hungry kids, a husband who wanted dinner on the table at five-thirty every night, and no interest in cooking.

In the Viets family, Chef Boyardee was the culinary equal of Emeril. The man canned terrific ravioli and spaghetti, and never once said, "Bam!"

The Viets Family Recipes would include lots of Campbell’s canned mushroom soup. Tuna casserole included a can of tuna, a can of mushroom soup with crushed potato chips for crunch. For a real gourmet touch, Mom would throw in an extra can of sliced mushrooms.

Mom’s recipe for chocolate chip cookies came straight off the Hershey’s chocolate chip bag, and she never acknowledged the source. Mrs. Smith baked our pies. Our Friday fish were courtesy of Mrs. Paul. Those women didn’t get any credit, either.

I’ve inherited my mother’s interest in cooking. I like good food. I appreciate those who cook it. But I don’t have the skill.

My grandmother was a splendid southern cook of the old school. Everything was either fried, sugared, or fried and then covered with sugar. Unless she made gravy. If I cooked like her, I’d weigh 300 pounds.

Still, as a kid I watched her cook, hoping I could absorb her kitchen technique. Grandma never wrote down a recipe. She never used a measuring cup. She’d throw in a few hand fulls of this and a pinch of that and produce perfection on a plate.

Grandma’s biscuits were light, warm little pillows that could be smothered in gravy or slathered with melted butter. I struggled to reproduce her biscuits, and baked something that looked like hockey pucks.

One Sunday, I asked Grandma for the family recipe for biscuits.

She brought out a yellow box of Bisquick and said, "Use this. That’s all the family recipe you’ll need. Now, go do something important."

Cooking is important. For those who love to cook, thank you for the comfort and joy you provide. But don’t fake your love. If you can’t tell a Napa cabbage from a Beverly Hills bagel, say so. Then, as my grandma said, "Go do something important."

Better yet, do something you enjoy.

Comments

[Becky Hutchison]

Yeah! It's Elaine's day so it's early.

My mom was a great cook...me, not so much. That's why I do the Dream Dinners. They taste gourmet, and I can try something different without being stuck with a whole bag of apples, or bottle of teriyaki sauce, or whatever bulk of which I only need a little bit in a recipe.

And we could be relatives with the tuna casserole. Cream of mushroom soup...potato chips on top...lots of noodles.

But that box of Bisquick--heaven! I use it for two of the best things in the world: bisquits and pancakes. Just add butter and it's a food group. Bisquits and butter, pancakes and butter...yum.

And I like your grandmother's advice to do something important and your's to do something you enjoy, because doing something you enjoy IS important, isn't it?!

[Nancy martin]

Becky, how much time does that Dream Dinners thing take? Because I suspect it's a fabulous place to get story ideas. Oh, and food, too.

[Harley]

Elaine, it's a point well taken, since I'm the girl who used her oven to store paper bags from the grocery store (what else might it be used for?) -- until I got married. Once you have kids, there's no going back (I have hopes that my offspring will take over soon) but believe me, a return to Bisquick is one of the unexpected joys of my newly liberated state. And frozen pizza, chicken nuggets and taquitos. No more stuffed calamari.

On Mrs. McCain, however, that "I only make reservations" would go over well with the urban women, but let us recall how they pilloried Hillary for her "baking cookies" remark all those election years ago. Cindy would be much safer espousing the joys of Bisquick.

[mome]

I do enjoy cooking but - if it comes in a box and tastes better than scratch - hey more time for me to break up fights between my kids =). I get more complements for my meatballs (frozen from Bj's) with a jar of sauce tossed in the crockpot than I ever did when trying to make them from scratch. Besides that way i could do something more important - like read a book. Have a great day!

[Sue]

My granny made the world's best biscuits. They were always waiting when you went over to her house, and the entire family hung on their existence. After she retired, she moved to a retirement community in northern Arkansas, necessitating overnight trips. My first morning there, I woke up, padded out to the kitchen and caught the old fraud trying to hide the Bisquick box. I kept her secret to her grave and relish the fact the rest of the family thinks I was her favorite, because she left her biscuit recipe only to me.

[William Simon]

Bisquick is an all-purpose kitchen staple. Right up there with meatloaf, scrambled eggs, frozen pizza, cheese sticks (a big box of TGI Friday's brand of Mozzarella Sticks is always available), and A&W Root Beer. (A couple of large bottles of Mountain Dew are stashed for all-nighters.)

At a recent writers group lunch, the conversation turned to Grandmother's Recipes. One of the members mentioned her grandmother's Refried Beans in Bacon Grease. Every man at the table sighed and looked at the Heart Healthy Nonsense in front of us.

Sad to say, after all these years of fancy steak houses and gourmet resturants, my heart still belongs to IHOP. If the Big Boy Restaurants were still around, I'd have a RESERVED booth.

[janetlynn13]

Elaine, I love the "Go do something important" quote.
I don't love to cook, but sometimes when the inspiration hits I enjoy it. Unfortunately, that only happens about once a month. With my new food allergy, I am out of inspiration because I'm making all my meals at home. Sometimes just thinking about the pots and pans to be washed afterward is enough to kill any bit of inspiration. I'm REALLY tired of washing dishes... Hmmm, maybe I need to push some of that off on the teenager in my house.......

[michele]

Great blog, Elaine.

I've always enjoyed cooking, but I agree with Harley -- it's having kids that puts you in the kitchen day-in and day-out. We sit down to a family dinner almost every night and it's such an important bonding experience. Without it I don't know how I'd ever find out what's going on with my kids. I get the sense that most of my friends around here with kids at home do this too. Some people are cooking from scratch every night. Some do the prepared foods thing. And for some it's frozen pizza more often than not. Whatever -- it's the family time that counts.

[toni mcgee causey]

Love the "go do something important" quote.

I never enjoyed cooking, not once. It was always a chore and my husband loves it, so I leave it up to him. Or we go out. I have long believed that going out and not having to deal with the whole frustration of figuring out something to cook, getting exasperated when the recipe didn't work, getting upset even more when everyone finished quickly and left... well, going out is my therapy. My husband agrees it's cheaper than me cooking, because the fires in the house alone were starting to get expensive.

[Joyce Tremel]

I like to cook when I have the time. I used the crockpot a lot because I can put something in either in the morning, or when I'm home for lunch, and it's ready for dinner. I don't bake much anymore now that the kids are grown, though.

If anyone makes the "drop" style biscuits with Bisquick, try this: Add a cup of shredded cheddar cheese to the mixture. While they're baking, melt butter and add garlic powder. When the biscuits are done baking, brush with the melted butter and garlic. Yum.

[Laura (in PA)]

I like to cook, when I'm in the mood. The deadline-driven, make-something-right-now-as-soon-as-you-walk-in-the door-at-night cooking, I hate. My specialties: my mother's recipe (no measurements) for macaroni and cheese, and my meatballs, which the kids fight over. Haute cuisine is not welcome in my house. And yes, Bisquick is a staple in the pantry.

[Kerry]

Bisquick rules. I don't do much with it these days as it's not a major part of my Healthy Lifestyle Change, but every once in a while . . . Also, packaged corn bread muffin mix (add shredded cheddar and a can or two of diced green chiles . . .).

I cooked for my daughter and me when she was young and had a handful of quick and easy dinners we both liked that we rotated from day to day. That was really important when it was just the 2 of us and I was working mad hours.

Nowadays, I "cook" only for myself, which means I mostly keep a rotisserie chicken, salad fixings, and a bunch of fruits and veggies on hand. I'll fix soups and stews on the weekends, along with batches of roasted vegetables of various sorts, then just sort of mix and match things all week.

Every once in a while inspiration strikes and I'll try something new, but, since it's just me, it's never a matter of putting together an entire meal, thank heavens! I, too, would rather spend my time with a good book!

[Nancie aka Gun Tart]

Toni, my kindred spirit, I too am banished from the kitchen for fear I will burn the house down. And I have a 5 yard minimum distance I must keep from the propane grill.

[Mothrababe]

My mother hated cooking, but we always got the staples; mashed potato, meat, and usually two frozen veg. Dessert was often tinned fruit and ice cream, or a purchased merangue shell (pavlova in Australia) with thickened tinned fruit, a chopped up banana, and whipped cream if we were being fancy. Her father was a pastry chef and a market gardner. Mum inherited the gardening gene, and I got the cooking one. I used to give her cooking lessons on easy tasty stuff. :-D So I did four years of cooking in highschool as a survival skill. Donna Andrew's Meg Langslow put so right when she admitted to learning to cook as a matter of self-defence. :-D

I do cook from scratch mostly, but my mashed potatoes is invariably galicky, and chicken these days is my quick variation on 'chicken marsala', and my boiled carrots are dribbled with mint sauce and honey. I developed TASTE after I left home and found out what the rest of the world was eating. Oh, and my mac and cheese is the adult variety. I like to experiment or use up odd ends in the pantry and fridge. Making my wedding cake was an odyssey in its own right. ;-D

The best thing I learned at my grandma's knee was rissoles made the old fashioned way, and every so often, I get a hankering for them.

Cheers,
Marianne

[Kathy Reschini Sweeney]

This political season is giving me a rash.

Recipegate? It's insane. As if we don't have real issues to address.

As far as cooking - I love it several times a year, for big holidays. Otherwise, not so much. We have a service called "Wheel Deliver" that allows us to order from a bunch of different restaurants who don't normally deliver.

It's one helluva service.

[Judy Larsen]

I love to cook--as did/does my mom. But, I agree, when it becomes a chore or a "have-to" then the fun is lost. which is why we go out to eat once or twice week.

Currently, I'm on a risotto kick. Yum.

[Nancy martin]

Judy, how do I get myself invited to dinner at your house?

[Mary Storyteller]

Michele, hurrah for you. Family dinners are so effective for so many benefits, and in many homes, they've been lost. A storytelling friend had a grant to organize dinners and storytelling for families to attend to help re-institute this important bonding experience.
My ex made the best chocolate chip cookies, from an old family recipe -- I shouldn't have told him that it was exactly the same as the one on the bag (well, except for doubling the amount of chips, and I hope we all do that). I sweaar our marriage last an extra couple of years just because of those cookies.
I'm trying to cook a bit more now, for financial as well as physical health, and it is satisfying when it's a CHOICE. After years of fixing supper every night, my mom enjoyed "nuking" a Healthy Choice dinner for herself and working on the crossword puzzle instead of cooking.

[ArkansasCyndi]

I love to cook. I HATE to clean afterwards.

As far as biscuits, has anyone tried the biscuit mix you can get at Sam's? It has butter-like chips in the mix. The biscuits are better than with Bisquick. I swear!!!

And William - save me a spot in your IHOP booth. I am so there.

Side note - remember the other day when we were talking about dreams? I've been dreaming about the tv show Dexter. What does that mean??

[Karen in Ohio]

Bisquick shortcakes--the very best for strawberries in the summertime. Recipe on the box, and the only reason I keep Bisquick around. I used to use it for biscuits, too, but then discovered the frozen ones, which are far superior. Jiffy mix cornbread is the best, and fast. I often make that when we're having my mom's recipe--chili. I make a big pot of it that we used to eat for a couple days when the kids were here. Now I freeze it in batches. Other homemade soups are staples here, too, usually from Bean Cuisine. I love their soups, even though it's more of a "stone soup" kind of thing. The package includes the beans and the spices, and you provide the meat, other vegetables (usually the "aromatics": onion, celery, garlic, and/or carrots), broth, a can of tomatoes, etc.

Since I'm the only female member of the family in town, I end up doing all the family special day cooking: holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and just family get-togethers, and I've gotten good at it. Now that we have a big kitchen it's more fun, too. When we had no counter space it was just too depressing to cook. I hated being stuck in the tiny kitchen while everyone else was in the other room having a good time. Now, even if I'm the only one cooking (and usually I'm not), everyone can sit there or stand there and I am included in the conversation. That's much better.

"Recipegate"? It's a tempest in a teapot, nothing more. I'm not a fan of Mrs. McCain, but I felt the same way when Bill Clinton was running for President and Hillary got flak for her cookie remark. Most of us who are near her age have had to work really hard to get to the point where we don't HAVE to cook if we don't want to. And more power to anyone in that position.

[Rita Scott]

I love to cook and bake, but for one, it's a pain. Usually when I cook now, it's something that will freeze well in gladware. (thank God Frangelico cheesecake is one of those, can only thaw one piece when I get a craving and not eat half the cake!)
Last week I made (and froze most of it) a double batch of meatballs & sauce. Then I was too lazy to cook pasta, so I just made a meatball sub.
I haven't made Elaine's White Castle Pate' since my brothers died, they loved it! OH NO, you don't think that had anything to do with their early demise, do you?!!!!!

[Judy Larsen]

Nancy, just let me know when you're in St. Louis!

[sarahS]

I'm kinda sick of cooking dinner. When I do the math, it pretty much comes to (20X365)- (12x5x20)* = 6,100 dinners I've cooked in my marriage. Enough.

*represents the numbers of nights I don't cook per month over 20 years.

I remember giving my mother in law a cookbook once and her eyes glazed over. After four kids and 40 years of marriage, she wasn't that interested.

[xena]

My grandmother, Winnifred, was born in 1901 in Middleboro Massachusetts. Her father was a prison warden so she had extras like sugar and inmates doing the chores. Her mother made a fresh batch of fudge everyday and every time my grandmother walked through the kitchen she ate a piece. She had glasses as a child which was considered a handicap then. So she learned in-door girl stuff like sewing knitting, crocheting, tating and COOKING. She was sent off to boarding school in Maine. Married my grandfather from Connecticut and moved to a farm in Miami in 1928. She could cook for 50 people without recipes. Her pies(with piecrust made with real lard she rendered herself) were legendary. Yes biscuits too. She was an amazing woman. My mother was on cleanup. She washed all the dishes after all the fabulous dinners. She got married not knowing how to boil water. We never starved but dinner at our house was an adventure compared to the feasts at my grandmother's. As the food industry came into TV dinners and "instant" ready to eat items we were the first family on the block to have it. (giant freezer in the garage)Now I cook like my grandmother having been handed down the bread bowl crock. If you bake bread without a machine you know how important a good crock is. My mother is famous for her "Pink Stuff". A recipe she got right off the mayonaise jar featuring cherry gelitan I believe. She'd never say she made up anything and always will share her source. The spagetti sauce recipe came off the spagetti box until the jarred ones became acceptable. And...true confessions...we both use bisquick.
Is there any smell in the world better than something baking?

[Karen in Ohio]

No kidding, Sarah! My husband has traveled for business for most of his adult life, and does not "enjoy" restaurants, so he insists that we eat at home. There are days when I dread the whole topic of dinner. It gets so boring to choose what to cook, and then to provide a meal, every daggoned night. But it was worse when the kids were home. There was always someone who suddenly did not like what we were having. Oy.

I like to eat out once in a while, just for the inspiration.