We interrupt this blog to bring you an important announcement from our sponsor: Michele's new book, Notorious, hits bookstores tomorrow! Read the first two chapters here. Once you've read them, you'll have all the info you need to enter this contest to win autographed copies of Michele's first two Melanie Vargas books.
About to bring a famous rap star to trial for murder, prosecutor Melanie Vargas becomes the sole witness when a car bomb kills the rapper's lawyer. Her career and her safety are on the line, but so is her heart: Melanie's relationship with the charismatic defense lawyer was more than strictly professional. Publisher's Weekly calls Notorious "exciting" and "engaging," and Romantic Times says "Martinez is at the top of her game. Her writing sparkles in this exceptionally well-written suspense novel." Read more about Notorious in these great pieces posted at FreshFiction.com and Shades of Romance.
We now return you to our regularly scheduled programming.
The Oscars Suck and I Don't Care
by Michele
As I'm writing this, it's Sunday afternoon and I don't know yet who won the Oscars. As you're reading this, it's Monday, and I may still not know. Why? Because I'm not planning on watching the Oscars tonight. The first Indiana Jones movie just came in the mail from Netflix. Raiders of the Lost Ark -- remember that one? 1981! Nearly thirty years ago now. Now that was a good movie. And Harrison Ford, man, he was a real movie star. Tonight, I'm going to introduce my kids to Indiana Jones, and when I'm done with that, I'm going to do some laundry or get a little extra sleep. Because I just can't care about the Oscars this year.
No, I'm not one of those people who refuses to see artsy or violent films. I generally really like both artsy and violent films, and I've seen every single one of the movies nominated for Best Picture (Atonement, Juno, Michael Clayton, No Country for Old Men, and There Will Be Blood) because I see a lot of movies. But did I like them? Three of them, no, I was bored out of my mind. What I'm sick and tired of is this pose that films have taken on in recent times. You see it a lot in books, too. The idea is, people are rotten at heart, life is bleak and evil, institutions are corrupt, and violence is the only truth. Awards judges seem to think this attitude is necessary to render a movie worthy of praise, or at least, nominations. Yeah, maybe the first five hundred times you see it. It worked in The Graduate, and Serpico and The Godfather and Scarface. It worked, for me, as late as Unforgiven, which was made in 1992. But aren't we done yet? Can't we come up with something new?
(Two of the movies weren't like that. Juno and No Country for Old Men both had wicked senses of humor, and likeable characters, and ultimately believed human beings have some intrinsic worth. For that reason, they seemed fresh and original. I loved both of those movies, but will either one of them win? I'd bet against it. They aren't bleak enough.)
So I'm casting my protest vote by opting out. I need movies to have a sense of humor and some redeeming feeling that human beings have value. I need books to have those qualities, too. (I'd say I'd like to see women in roles other than that of victim or sex toy, but c'mon, let's be real.) Not only because films and books are too depressing otherwise, but because they're just boring and pretentious and done-to-death. And not credible. How many times can we watch the cliche of the divorced cop with the drinking problem who plants evidence or lies about important matters on the job? The people writing those characters have never even met a cop. They've just seen a lot of movies about divorced, drunken, lying cops, and they think that's what they're supposed to write. But cops aren't like that. Most cops are funny and decent and possessed of a moral code. Married, certainly. A good number are even nice.
So the Oscars suck this year, but here's where we get to the second part of the title of today's blog. I don't care. The Oscars have become irrelevant to me. I don't need to care, because I can watch anything I want whenever I want from Netflix, or from the free movies that I DVR. And probably sometime in the next five or ten years, all I'll have to do is Google a movie, click on the title and it'll play on my tv. If not a movie, then a tv show. In the past month, I've watched every single episode of The Office and 30 Rock, and you know what, that made me really happy. Those shows are funny, the writers seem to like people, and I don't want to shoot myself when they're over. These days, that's saying a lot.
Now, break out the popcorn and let me at Indiana Jones.
Thank you, Michele!
It was only yesterday that I finally watched MICHAEL CLAYTON, and for the last third of it sat there thinking, "Um, guys? Do the words THREE DAYS OF THE CONDOR mean anything to you?"
That's the only movie on The List I've seen, and as mentioned, that was yesterday. Last movie seen in a theater was UNTRACEABLE with Diane Lane; let's just say I laughed a LOT in that one. Aside from the unrealistic things computers did in that movie, not to mention skipping over certain steps (little things like appearing before a judge, getting a warrant, etc.), and not even remotely close to realistically showing how a computer crime is investigated, it was a classic example of the very thing the movie was supposedly against. (And Diane Lane wasn't even naked in this one, dammit.)
May 22, 2008... INDIANA JONES AND THE CRYSTAL SKULL. Can't wait.
Posted by: William Simon | February 25, 2008 at 06:51 AM
Michele said: I'd say I'd like to see women in roles other than that of victim or sex toy, but c'mon, let's be real.
I did watch maybe half the Oscars last night. When Cate Blanchett walked out, I thought, "THAT is today's Emma Peel!" Mrs. Peel was no one's victim, and certainly no one's sex toy. Again....dammit....
Okay. Over to you, Josh.
Posted by: William Simon | February 25, 2008 at 06:55 AM
OK, I blew it. Can I take this blog back? They did pick a really really great movie as Best Picture, and that somewhat restores my faith. You know why that movie is great? Because it doesn't take itself too seriously. That's what I'm so tired of in movies these days, the humorlessness.
(No Country fort Old Men also happens to be brilliantly written and have two of the all-time great character actors in Tommy Lee Jones and Javier Bardem, not to mention one smokin' hot movie star in Josh Brolin.)
William, you're so right! I never thought about the similarities between Michael Clayton and Three Days of the Condor. 3 Days is equally overwrought, but at the time, it was actually original. Whereas Michael Clayton is a humorless ripoff of 3 Days and every other movie that has ripped off 3 Days in the Years in between. I have no problem with shameless ripoffs. The Coen Brothers rip off other movies all the time, but they do it with a wink.
Cate Blanchett is great, but who else is like her? Name five actresses who get major roles where the roles aren't those of, basically, bimbos.
Posted by: michele | February 25, 2008 at 07:16 AM
I'm proud to say I haven't seen any of the movies that were nominated. I haven't been to the movies in years, but I will make an exception for the new Indiana Jones movie. I saw the trailer and it looks like great fun. I wasn't sure Harrison Ford would be able to pull it off, but Indy is also twenty years older, so it seems to work.
Posted by: Joyce Tremel | February 25, 2008 at 07:24 AM
The one I'm waiting for is IN THE ELECTRIC MIST with Tommy Lee Jones as Dave Robicheaux.
Posted by: William Simon | February 25, 2008 at 07:29 AM
Michele asked: Name five actresses who get major roles where the roles aren't those of, basically, bimbos.
Cate Blanchett
Meryl Streep
Kerri Russell
Jennifer Aniston
Anne Hathaway
Posted by: William Simon | February 25, 2008 at 07:31 AM
Here's what you need to know about the Oscars:
George Clooney is hot.
Daniel Craig wasn't there.
Anne Hathaway's big eyes are damn scary and sometimes I dream about them, and it is not good.
Jon Stewart is funny, but he's a midget. I mean, a Little Person.
Johnny Depp is hotter than George Clooney. He might be hotter than Daniel Craig, but further study is required.
That French girl who won Best Actress for playing Edith Piaf should be a Bond girl.
Crystal Skull would be a very good name for a Bond girl. (That's for you, William.)
Colin Farrell was sweet to bring his mother, and it's great that the song from the little Indie Irish movie won for Best Song, but he still should have washed his hair.
The moment when Jon Stewart brought back the little Irish Indie girl so she could make her speech was probably one of the greatest Oscar moments I have ever seen. It felt almost genuine. But then J.S. brought us back to reality with the joke about making the Oscars kiss. Heh. Good one.
Helen Mirren is queenier than the real queen.
Daniel Day-Lewis is a brilliant artist and a class act, which was evidence by the tribute he gave to his wife. He also is obsessed with shoes and left acting for a while to become a cobbler. This is god's honest truth, Michele. I think he made his own shoes last night, which for some reason only god may know, were brown. With a black tux. Obviously, Daniel loves his wife, but next time, let's hope she dresses him.
Atonement is a brilliant film, esp. if you like to cry. The kid who played Briony was fabulous, as was James McAvoy, who is even Littler than Jon Stewart.
That is my Oscar report. Now I have a question for anyone else who watched: WTF was up with the ponytails? Were the hairdressers' union on strike, too?
Posted by: ramona | February 25, 2008 at 07:32 AM
OK, I'm hooked after two chapters. I'll have to be making a stop on the way home from work tomorrow.
I haven't seen any of the pictues nominated...and haven't for years now. I quit going to grown-up movies 17 years ago when the kid was born. I took the kid to a few supposedly child oriented flicks when he was little, but got disgusted wondering why words like shit, hell, and damn were featured prominently in movies aimed at 6 year olds, and just stopped. It's not that I oppose the words, I use them and plenty more besides, but not in front of six year olds.
I can't ever remember caring about the Oscars or any awards ceremony, although I do eagerly await the William Allen White nominees every year....I have a think for children's books.
I'm sure I'm missing some wonderful films out there, but I can't seem to want to care enough to invest two hours of my life to go get a card and rent one. I'll occasionally sit down and watch a a 30 minutes DVD of some wonderful old TV show that I have the set for(Bob Newhart, Northern Expoisure, WKRP, Taxi), but even that's an occurence that rarely happens.
Now if awards were televised for books.....yeah....I'd probably be there eagerly. TV and movies...you can have 'em, but don't mess with my books.
Posted by: SUe | February 25, 2008 at 07:32 AM
thing for children's books...not think
Why is it no matter how many times I proof, I miss something?
Posted by: Sue | February 25, 2008 at 07:35 AM
Instead of the Oscars, I watched the conclusion of Pride & Prejudice on PBS last night, which I have seen countless times already. (I have daughters, remember, and when they were home sick from school, we watching Anything Jane Austen.) I decided that Colin Firth was better than I first thought. And Jennifer Elhe was terrific.---I understand she was Michael Clayton's girlfriend, but her subplot was left on the cutting room floor. I guess I'd better get the Netflix DVD!
Michele, you are so right about movies being terrible, and I wonder if the various ways we can now avoid going to the theater means that since today's movies being made are made for teenage boys. Will there be nothing left for adults in 20 years? Will we still be watching the original Indiana JOnes? (And what a pleasure to be ableto introduce him to your boys!!)
Can't wait to get my hands on NOTORIOUS!
Posted by: Nancy Martin | February 25, 2008 at 08:02 AM
Congratulations on the book, Michele, and great topic today. I agree with the movie choices - I want humor in a movie and I want the good guys to win! If I want to be depressed, I'll save the $9 and watch the news. We skipped the Oscars as well.
And Indiana Jones has been one of the top movies in our house since my daughter was old enough to watch it.
Posted by: janetlynn13 | February 25, 2008 at 08:07 AM
Great comments, all, and many thanks for the congrats on the book!!
Ramona, brilliant as usual. Only, I disagree about Johnny Depp because he's squandered his hotness on weird fashion and hairdos.
And where was Clive?? (Not that I watched the show. I peeked at the last hour after Indiana Jones was over and was sorely disappointed for lack of Clive.)
I totally agree about the cute little Irish movie that won best song. I saw it, and it was an adorable, hopeful, lovely little movie with the cutest couple in it. More of them, please!
On William's five actresses -- I'll grant you Cate Blanchett and Meryl Streep and raise you Helen Mirren. But that's it! I haven't seen waitress so I can't comment on Keri Russell. What else has she done? As for Jennifer Aniston and Anne Hathaway, I respectfully disagree. All romantic comedy actresses are basically playing good-girl bimbos, womne whose destinies are controlled by the men in their lives and their marriage prospects. I'd put both of those actresses in that category, and include Kate Hudson, Katherine Heigl and Amy Adams as well.
Posted by: michele | February 25, 2008 at 08:23 AM
Oh, another great moment I managed to catch was when Diablo Cody won best screenplay. This woman was a stripper a few years ago! Will she be spoiled by success and lose that genuineness? Let's hope not.
Posted by: michele | February 25, 2008 at 08:25 AM
Michele, quick rebuttal:
1. It's the weirdo fashion and hair that make Johnny Depp hot. And, the killer cheekbones.
2. Clive wasn't there because he was with me. He was reading NOTORIOUS. Aloud. In my ear. And then we ate chocolate.
Posted by: ramona | February 25, 2008 at 08:46 AM
Michele, Clive was at my house, along with Paul Giamatti. I watched "Shoot 'Em Up" again and had a ball. The dry wit in that film was amazing. Talk about a movie that didn't take itself seriously...over 60 bad guys dead and one baby born in the first ten minutes! :o) (and William, Monica Bellucci did a great "Bond-like" girl in this one)
I did catch the very end of the Oscars (I was looking for the local weather) and while I like Daniel Day-Lewis a lot, I really wanted to comb his hair. Maybe the hairdressers were on strike :0)
Nancy, if you loved Pride & Prejudice (and who didn't) you must see North and South with Richard Armitage (trust me on this one).
I am now reading the book (Edith Gaskill) and as always the BBC was faithful as faithful could be to the author's intent. Of course I would watch Richard Armitage read the news, but that's just me.
Last but not least, hurray Michele! Looks like I have to get to the store early tomorrow and pick up the book!
Posted by: Maryann Mercer | February 25, 2008 at 08:54 AM
ramona-yep, he said he was heading over there. Paul stayed here :o)
Posted by: Maryann Mercer | February 25, 2008 at 08:55 AM
Yes, Yay, yay, yay, Michele. And thanks, Michele, for giving up a little chunk of your Sunday to reassure me that my plot is not impossible, legal-wise. Since I don't think I can completely rewrite it in 3 days.
I did watch the Oscars (which I didn't know were happening until I heard a traffic advisory yesterday morning telling me to avoid Hollywood Blvd.) because I haven't seen any of the nominated movies and also cuz I was lonely and wondered what was happening in the world since I've been in RevisionVille. A. Jon Stewart made me laugh several times B. Daniel Day-Lewis is to acting, for me, what Meryl Streep is to acting, which is to say that they make me happy to be on this earth at the same time they are. But my, he's going to be one eccentric old man. C. that French girl accepting her Oscar was one of the best ever. I loved it that should couldn't do anything but cry, but cried so beautifully. D. Blond Bond was here with me. He came over late, though, cuz he didn't get the notice about avoiding Hollywood Blvd.
Posted by: Harley | February 25, 2008 at 09:20 AM
Shoot 'Em Up -- now there's a movie I need to put in my Netflix queue. I just put The Big Lebowski in there. Can't believe I've never seen that one.
Ramona, weird fashion does not make a man hot. There are a few women who can pull off weird fashion (Diane Keaton? Chloe Sevigny) but men should not fool around with stuff they don't understand. They should be conservatively dressed and well-groomed. (I agree with all comments previously made about Daniel Day-Lewis, including Harley's which had nothing to do with grooming.) As for Clive, I know you were lying, Ramona, because he was with Maryann.
Posted by: michele | February 25, 2008 at 09:26 AM
Speaking of Paul Giamatti, do people realize he was offered the role of Michaal Scott on The Office and turned it down?? I *adore* Steve Carrell in that role, but wow, talk about The One That Got Away. Paul Giamatti would've owned that role.
Posted by: michele | February 25, 2008 at 09:27 AM
Michele, if you missed The Big Lebowski, did you also miss The Fabulous Baker Boys?
Okay, I'll admit I watched more of the red carpet coverage than the Oscars. And what a whammo moment when I realized George Clooney was looking Regis Philbin in the eye---the same height?!? Egad, have I misplaced my adoration for George? A terrible disappointment.
Johnny Depp? I just don't get it, I guess.
And I have no words for taking Jennifer Aniston seriously. To me, she looks like a transvestite with a head injury.
Posted by: Nancy Martin | February 25, 2008 at 09:37 AM
Michele, congrats on the book (and congrats to me, who gets to buy it and enjoy it!!!!!). I agree with your assessment of movies, except that I don't like violence hardly at all. As for the Academy Awards, well, I live on the East Coast, which means the show starts after my bedtime and ends sometime around when I'm trying to wake up to start my day. Plus it's usually just really boring.
You must have had boatloads of fun introducing your kids to Indiana Jones. I loved "Raiders", but didn't particularly care for "Temple of Doom". It wasn't a giant vampire bat, it was a fruit bat. The meal scene and the subsequent "bugs in the tunnel" scene were nothing but gratuitous gross-outs. And the woman was a bimbo. I will, however, see the next one, with great hopes for a well-buckled swash.
I'm also looking forward to Prince Caspian and Mama Mia! . . . those are about my speed :)
Posted by: Kerry | February 25, 2008 at 09:38 AM
Ha ha Nancy -- a transvestite with a head injury? That's a good one. I've just always found her really whiny.
Kerry, I completely agree about the Oscars being on too late and being totally boring for the vast amount of the show. Can't we just watch the good bits on Youtube the next day?
I couldn't stop thinking about Ramona's comment on Daniel Day-Lewis's shoes. Turns out they're *fabulous* -- check out this photo:
http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2008/02/25/movies/0225-OSCARS_13.html
Posted by: michele | February 25, 2008 at 09:50 AM
Nancy, i like Colin Firth,too.in fact i adore him!there is something about dark hair and brown eyes...maybe it's because where i live you only get blond hair and blue eyes...
i wasn't suprised at all when i learned that Firth and Jennifer Ehle were having an off-screen relationship,too.
Ramona and Harley can have the Blond Bond.I have Colin Firth!
Posted by: Hannah | February 25, 2008 at 09:53 AM
Michele, I can't spend all day here because you are in denial about me and Clive. Or me and Blond Bond. Or me and Johnny Depp. Honestly, some people just have trouble with reality.
FYI, Johnny Depp (age 45) is only two years younger than George Clooney (47). Either he's made a deal with the devil, or that's some great wine he's been drinking in France.
But about those shoes: Do you think he cobbled them himself? Or just went out to the nearest Hush Puppies store?
Posted by: ramona | February 25, 2008 at 09:59 AM
First, congrats on the new book, Michele!
Now to the blog: I don't watch the Oscars either...or the Grammys or the Tonys or ___ (put any of the umpteen televised award shows here). I think they are all a waste of TV space. The TV executives must think if it's an awards show, everybody will watch...& I guess a lot do or else they wouldn't have them on.
JanetLynn, I'm with you, if I wanted to see something depressing I'd watch the news....but since I don't want to be depressed...I don't watch the news anymore!
I love Keira Knightly, but I don't like movies where I cry because it's sad...so I didn't see Atonement. I saw only one of the Best Picture nominees -- Michael Clayton -- & it was mainly because of George Clooney & Tom Wilkinson.
Before Michael Clayton the only movies I saw within the last year are Charlie Wilson's War (fun & thought-provoking), 27 Dresses, Enchanted, The Jane Austen Book Club, National Treasure 2 (can't go wrong with Helen Mirren) & Pirates of the Carribean 3. See the pattern here?
The only DVD's I own are comedies...Bridget Jones (with yummy Colin Firth & Hugh Grant), Sweet Home Alabama & Legally Blonde (Reese Witherspoon) and Notting Hill (Hugh Grant & Julia Roberts). What can I say...I'm a girl who likes girly comedies!
Thankfully I can DVR programs now because I'm fed up with the Reality Shows on TV -- Thank you PBS for the Jane Austen series!!
(My sordid secret...I do like history & archaeology-related shows on TV, with a little Bones thrown in, and they're not really comedies...)
But getting back to the Oscars...the main reason I don't watch them or any other award shows is the hype, stilted jokes & productions trying to be the next big Broadway show. I'd rather be reading something that could be made into a fun movie with George, Hugh, Colin, Clive, did I say George?....
Posted by: Becky Hutchison | February 25, 2008 at 09:59 AM