Five Things to Do Before You Die....

By Sarah

So after a few revisions, SWEET LOVE - my story of a dying mother making amends by reuniting her daughter with her true love in a dessert class - was enthusiastically accepted by the publisher last week  which means I have one full week off before the copyedited ms comes back for my review. Crazy schedule you say? Well, yes. I haven't written this tightly on a deadline since a New Jersey chemical plant spewed yellow sulfuric toxic fumes minutes before the presses started rolling. (Ahh, bliss.)

Anyway, it's a week off. A whole week off to think about the next book (I've got a great idea already!), true, but also to clean the house, pay bills, do taxes and organize the stuff I've neglected for the past year. Which brings me, of course, to death.

Let's say I were to die today. Not out of the realm of possibilities considering the ice on the road and the fact I've been good and sedentary for six months. Were I to step into eternity by crossing the yellow line and saying hello to a tractor trailer, would I have wanted my last acts to have been scraping a twelve-year-old's vomit from a bed frame? (Don't ask. Bad weekend.) Or culling a sixteen-year-old's bookshelf of A-List crap? We all know the answer. Hell no.

Yet, this is the fine line we walk as mortals. Do we live as if each day is the last? (Though one can only bungee jump into the Grand Canyon so many times.) Or should we proceed with confidence as if there will be many, many more bungee jumping days ahead and to, instead, fix that clogged drain and tackle the dog's diarrhea?

Perhaps it's because I turned forty five a few weeks ago or maybe it's because scraping vomit gets really old really fast, but this idea - this list! - of what I need to do before I die is so on my mind. Yes, there are places we're supposed to see before we die, but anyone can get on an airplane and do that. My question is, what should we do now so that when the Mack bulldog encounters us head on we are prepared?

After careful consideration, here are my minimum demands:

*Bruce Springsteen. As many of you might remember, I have been a ship passing Bruce's luxury liner in the night ever since my friend Lisa was allowed to see him in Philly back in high school and I was not. Since then, I have missed him and his concerts at every turn. When I dated a rock and roll reporter for the Asbury Park Press, a man who was paid to cover Bruce's bowel movements, there were dozens of opportunities to meet Bruce one on one. And yet? I had to work. Or the weather was lousy. Or it was too late in the evening. Years afterward, Bruce's literary agent (he had a literary agent you say?) and mine were one in the same. She held out hope I could meet The Boss. Alas, no. I have never seen him. So here's my final request  - I want to meet Bruce Springsteen - heck, I want to sit in row 48D and see him belt out Thunder Road  - before I die.

*French. I want to learn how to speak it. This might be an I-live-too-close-to-Montreal thing, but it has  always bugged me that I don't know how to speak French. It's such an us versus them thing. And think how great it would be to go to Paris and actually be able to speak the language! To hear what they actually thought of us.

*Size 6. Trite? Yup. But I don't care. The last I was a size six was the day I found out I was pregnant with  Sam and it's been downhill ever since. It's not just the number, it's the opportunity to wear whatever I want and look good. Like an evening gown. Or a halter dress. Hey, I'm not dead yet. Not yet!!

*Scotland. To live. Not to visit. A wee hut. Charlie in a kilt. Mist across the moors and crags. Salmon in the stream and peat smoke everywhere. Plus, the most fantastic wool to knit. Not sure how this will fit with Bruce and the size six, though I understand the French and Scots have always gotten along well. This might be doable, especially if The Boss can take up the bagpipes.

*The New York Times Bestseller list. Actually, I'm afraid of hitting this. Oh, go on, right? I'm dying for it. True, but what then? My friends who've made it complain it's only a notch up from there. How long you stay on the list. Where you enter. Where you leave. Plus, you know that once you make it, someone in some small New Jersey newspaper who's waiting for the next toxic spill is penning your obit.

No thanks.

The beauty of this list (the death one, not the NYT) is once I wrote it down I saw how easy it was to achieve. To lose weight, learn a language, even see the boss. (Let's, for now, leave the NYT list aside.) I can DO this. Or is it...that I don't want to? That once I learn French and drop down to a size six, move to Scotland where Bruce will visit in a kilt (ohmigod) so intrigued is he to meet an NYT bestseller, I will have, essentially, dug my grave.

I'll have to think about that while I'm cleaning the basement today. Though ask not for whom the Mack truck brakes too late. It brakes too late for thee.

What's on your list?

Sarah

Comments

[Sue]

The only list I have starts out Gatorade, milk, bread. So…if I actually had a list, the ponderable becomes, ‘will I even attempt anything on the list,’ because the even bigger ponderable would be, ‘how would achieving those things on the list change my life and am I really ready for change?’ I think I just scared myself.

[Josh]

I'd like to get to France, finally. I may have told the story. I had surgery in 1997 and was laid up for 8 weeks. Towards the end, I was getting a little stir crazy, and although I could barely walk from my car into the mall to the travel agency, I booked a Thursday-Tuesday trip to Paris with my wife. We went up to Philadelphia to get our passports on an expedited basis, which you could do back then. We arranged childcare here and everything. About a week before the trip, my toddler daughter caught a stomach virus, and she got over it in 24 hours. My son, who was 7, caught it from her, and it took him two days. My wife then caught it, and it took her more than the weekend. Once my wife caught it, I struggled my way back to the travel agency to get trip insurance. Sure enough, Monday night during a humiliating Eagles loss to the 49er's, it hit me, and I was wiped out. Remember, I wasn't over my surgery, yet. I researched what hospitals in Paris would accept my insurance, and on Thursday morning went to my GI, whom I had been seeing for years. I couldn't sit up in his waiting room; I had to lie down. He told me that I couldn't travel out of the country in my condition, and he sent me home. He actually called a couple of days later to make sure I was okay. We got back all of our money due to the insurance (best $78 I ever spent), but I've never made it to France, and to top it off, my passport expired last year, so now I am stuck in the US forever.

[Tammee]

Get published

Buy a House

Live in a place where I can see a body of water from my own windows

Get married, if only for a week (actually preferably for a week...lol)

Sing a solo in front of an audience

Hmmmmm....I guess they all are possible, so we'll see

[Darlene]

Like Josh, I'd love to go to France. (Maybe that's a dream of laid-up people?) And even though I'm not a runner I'd like to do a 10K race. But most of all I'd like to have a bath in a big tub with tons of bubbles. Can you tell that lugging this gianto cast into the shower is beginning to get to me? BTW, I'll send the cast weight in chocolate to anyone who can figure out how I can avoid getting hit with a blast of cold water when the shower is turned on. (Because of the cast I have to get in and THEN turn the water on.)

[Tammee]

Hey Darlene,
Take a plastic grocery bag in with you and put it around the shower nozzle until the water warms up. Just a thought :)

[Sue]

Darlene can you run the shower to warmth without getting in, turn it off, get in, and then turn it back on? If not, do you have anything against looking like the Gorton fish package dude?

[Nancy Martin]

I dunno. This morning I'm thinking be careful what you wish for. At least where the NYTimes list is concerned.

I went to school in Scotland, y'know, Sarah. And even in July, you'll need a hot man to keep you warm! I thought you were a Turks & Caicos kinda girl?

[Kathy Reschini Sweeney]

What a great blog - and I LOVE that cover - yum!

Okay, here are a couple of mine:

I would like to go to Las Vegas and see the Grand Canyon

I would like to live to see The Lord of the Rings trilogy on the big screen again

I would like to live long enough so that the notion of gay marriage is normal

I would like to see some very big and powerful liars held accountable for their treason

Hmmmm. I need to re-think these. I have too many control issues to hang my hat on those last two.

[Joyce Tremel]

Great list, Sarah and your book cover is gorgeous!

I would like to finally get published.

I would like to go to Ireland and Scotland.

I would like to open a bed and breakfast in Gettysburg.

[sarahS]

Nancy... be careful what you wish for? Do tell.
Kathy, clearly you're a much better person than I am because your desires are so altruistic. And just.
Josh, I think they'll let you out of the country. I mean...don't they want you out?

The funny thing is that last night I thought I really was going to die. Woke up with chills, sweats, a blinding headache, delirium and thirst. Only now beginning to move around. I could only wonder - was the blog a jinx???

[Kerry, The Martial Tart]

Trust Sarah to pose great questions. In the "live my life. . ." category, I try to make sure that my daughter and husband hear "I love you" from me at every opportunity. I'm trying really hard to take care of my body (a size 6 could be in sight, but only because I'm pretty convinced that sizes have been inflated). I try to live honestly and to send as much positive energy into the world as I can (while still being grumpy and cynical on more than a few occassions). And I try really hard to embody the idea that it's never too late to start something new.

Things I still want to do? Travel the U.S. seeing all the wonderful natural places I haven't seen and re-visiting the ones I have. Spend more time with my sisters and nieces. Take that Princess cruise to Alaska. Go to Kenya and Tanzania to see the Rift Valley, Ngorogo Crater, the Serengetti, and the footprints in Olduvai Gorge. Visit New Zealand and Australia. Learn to cook. Jump 3' on my horse.

And when I'm gone, I want my ashes planted under a redwood in California.

[Pam aka SisterZip]

No, Sarah, Charlie just may be scraping off vomit for you in a couple of days!

I want to go Cooperstown and see the Hall of Fame.

I want to see the Grand Canyon & Mt. Rushmore.

I want to go back to DC with Dear Hubby and see what has changed since 1972.

I want to go to Ireland & Scotland.

I want to be able to see my daughter become Dr. Daughter (PhD not MD).

The only one not likely to happen is the Ireland/Scotland thing. That is WAY beyond our means. Dr. Daughter is very possible unless the new boyfriend becomes too important!

[sarahS]

Funny how Ireland and Scotland are on so many lists, huh? Pam, this can be done....though with the dollar right now maybe not. I bet there are inexpensive package tours.

Or maybe we should charter a TLC trip of our own?

[jodiL]

Count me in on the charter TLC trip!

[Hannah]

my picks...

-go to Austria
-travel to France
-see California
-get married
-have a family
-be happy and make someone else happy
-recover from this disease that's making my
life a living hell..

how boring do i sound...blaah,blaah

[Karen in Ohio]

What a great blog, Sarah. I hope you feel better soon, by the way.

On my list, before I turned 50, was to go to Paris. Since then, I've been to France four times, as well as London and a bit more of England (not nearly enough), Italy (also not enough), and Sydney, Australia. So I want to go to Provence, Germany, more of Italy, Istanbul, and many places in South America. And of course Scotland and Ireland. I'd sign up for a TLC charter!

I have been published, but only with non-fiction, so now I want to write fiction good enough to get noticed. (Keeping my fingers crossed with this one!) I'm not bold enough to aspire to the NYT list.

Learning to play the harp would be a dream, but it would have to be a small one. They are outrageously pricey.

Size six IS doable! I just bought an on-sale Calvin Klein coat marked size six. Since I wear a 10 in every other brand, I'm thinking it's worth it to have fewer clothes and spend more on the good stuff. :-)

And before I die I want to see a woman Commander in Chief. Please, God.

[Laura (in PA)]

We all seem to have similar lists.

When I really dream, I see myself living in Ireland and writing books that people actually want to read. I was lucky enough to get to Ireland a few years ago, and I'd go live there in a heartbeat. This dream isn't very feasible, but I refuse to let go of it.

Another goal is to find a way financially to work at a job that makes me look forward to getting up in the morning, rather than working for the better pay. Unfortunately, that is going to take a lottery win or the death of an unknown wealthy relative who leaves everything to me. Both highly unlikely.

The size 6 is way too ambitious for me. I'm actually happy I'm getting back into the size 10s I had "outgrown". And I think I'm actually good with that, at this stage of the game.

Also, I'd really like to be able to run 5 miles straight, and like it, so I can stop worrying about everything I eat, and feel good about exercising. We just got a new treadmill, and I'm up to a mile and a half. Hopefully I'll keep progressing.

Great blog, Sarah. Hope you feel better!

[Pam aka SisterZip]

Sarah, I'm so in on that charter! Leave Dear Hubby at home...that will make it cheeper!

[Harley]

Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, congratulations! From where I sit in Revisionville, having latest book enthusiastically accepted is the ultimate ambition. And having my kids survive the experience.

But, if i fast forward a month?

I want to write an outstanding standalone.
I want to write and sell a screenplay and then see it on the big screen. Maybe more than one.
I want my kids to thrive and be happy. Forever.
I want my dogs to live forever.
I want to find a way to write at night without eating myself into a stupor.
I may want to find True Love again, but I'll get back to you on that.
I want an indoor swimming pool like the one in the Hearst Castle.
I want to live in Paris for a year.
Oh, yes -- I want to be one notch below Sarah on the NYT list

[ArkansasCyndi]

The TLC Trip? Book it!!

I am almost embarrassed to write this but there is hardly anything on my "must do before I die list". I've been incredibly fortunate to do and travel as much as I want.

Paris? Been there. Sorry, didn't care for it.

London? Been there.

Belgium? Been there (great country).

Costa Rica? Great trip. Highly recommend

Climb an active volcano? Done it

See the national parks in Canada? Incredible beauty.

Been to most of the major national parks in the US.

Scotland and Ireland - that's something I'd LOVE to do... Perfect TLC trip, what with all the kilts in Scotland!

Hot air balloon ride? Done it.

Taking flying lessons (was on my to do list)? Done

I always wanted to live on a lake. We moved on one in 2004

Complete my doctorate - done

Retire early - done

BUT, I can so get on the "I'd like to be a size 6" train, but HA HA HA. That's never gonna happen. I'd be happy with the size 14 train.

Get published - that'd be a hoot for sure, not even looking for NYT list...just my name on the cover of a book

Take a cruise - Husband is so not interested. I could probably drag him on one, but I'm afraid it'd be like dragging an anvil behind me all the way.

The EXTREME really out there fantasy - Learn to fly a helicopter!

What a fun activity. I loved reading everyone's list.

PS to DARLENE - When I had a cast on, (it was on my left leg so this might not work for you), I ran a tub of water, sat on the side and slid my butt in, leaving my legs in the air, then lowered my right (uncasted leg) into the water. I had to have hubby pull me out but it was worth every second.
Best advice you've been given is to turn the shower on, let it warm up, turn it off, then get in. If you are going to be in the cast for much longer, have someone install a hand-held shower nozzle. That way you can get in, remove the nozzle and hold it off to one side and wait until the water gets warm. Good luck. So, what'd you break and how?

[Maryann Mercer]

Count me in on the charter trip to Scotland and Ireland. I'd go back to Scotland in a heartbeat :o) and Ireland was a country my daughter and I were discussing just the other day (go-today.com has some great deals).
My list? Nothing too ambitious(and I already got to meet Barry Eisler, so that's one down already!):

Get published
Lose 20 pounds (and stay there)
Cross-country ski
Have the Cubs make it to the World Series(I think I may have just guaranteed immortality)
See New England in the Fall
Go back to Scotland; visit Iceland and Greenland and the Greek Isles, although not all at once :o)
Be able to twitch my nose like Samantha so I could visit family and friends without the hassle.

Josh-I think you can get your passport a little more quickly these days. The mad rush is over according to my friend at the Post Office. Just bring lots of money!

[ArkansasCyndi]

Good lord I've been chatty the last two days. Can you tell I'm locked in a motorhome with the husband (and have been for 2 months) with few others to talk to?????

[Karen in Ohio]

This topic reminds me of a quote:

Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for? Robert Browning

Works for women, too!

[Pam aka SisterZip]

Sarah, the Boss is touring this year. Starting Feb 28 in Hartford, CN. Surely there is someplace you can go to see him.

[Marcia in OK]

My bucket list:

-Take my kids to Disney, the Grand Canyon, Washington D.C., Yellowstone, a train trip up the East coast, and drive the Pacific Coast Hightway.

-See the spectacle of Las Vegas

-Learn to dance the two-step (give me a break - I live in OK!)

-Find an excercise I can tolerate so that i can keep eating and enjoying the foods I love.

-Find a guy that sees the same future I do that my kids can love too.

-Read all the books in my TBR pile.

-And, heck, I'd love to see Ireland and Scotland live everyone else.