WTH Happened to High School?

By Rebecca the Bookseller, Public High School Graduate

This week, my daughter, who is a sophomore in high school, has finals and papers and Power Point presentations due. She’s totally stressed out. She’s 16.

What in the hell is going on? Are we collectively raising a generation of kids who are going to be burnt out by college – never mind grad school?

In order to avoid a rant, I’m going to make this a collective effort. Accordingly, here are some things I did and did not learn in high school. Then it’ll be your turn to share.

I did not learn Advanced Calculus.

I did not learn how to write a 40-page term paper with footnotes and exhibits. Hell, I didn’t really learn that until law school.

I did not learn how to conjugate a zillion verbs in any foreign language. Seriously – did any of you learn any real language in high school? The only way to learn a language is to speak it. Donde esta la biblioteca? Does not count.

I did not learn how to present a multi-media presentation with coordinated graphics, text, animated images and a soundtrack. No, the filmstrips with the accompanying tape (beep!) do not count, even if you were in the AV Club.

I did not learn that at a private school in the next neighborhood, half the students were in some kind of therapy for eating disorders, anxiety attacks, or depression.

Don’t get me wrong – it’s not that these are not good things to learn.

Here is what I did learn:

I learned that when you get hit with a dodge ball, it stings, but it doesn’t last. I also learned that it was okay to have people laugh at you, because you were all going to be laughing at someone else when they got nailed.

I learned that how you behave when you lose is just as important as how you behave when you win. The quickest way to the bench at my school was to grandstand.

I learned that it’s okay to question authority – even – heaven forbid – the President of the United States – because that’s our right, and that this country was founded on the absolute necessity of civil liberties.

I learned that boys who went off to fight came back as changed men.

I learned that people can be mean as hell, but many times help can come from unexpected sources.

I learned that people have jobs –the vast majority of the kids in my high school, including me, had year-round part-time jobs by sophomore year.

I learned that if you’re driving, you have got to take responsibility for the people in your car. Otherwise, it’s your mess to clean up.

I learned that boys and girls are different. In most ways. I learned that what you think is eternal love might just be hormones, but not without a lot of crying. I learned that getting to first, second and third base are just as exciting and wonderful as heading straight home. Looking back, I shouldn’t have waited so long to take the trip the whole way around the bases, but that’s a story for another day.

Most importantly – I learned how to PLAY. I learned that drinking can be fun, but that drinking too much makes you feel like you’ve been run over by a truck. I learned that some people can get high and be fine, and that some people turn into jerks.

And I learned that the book is always better than the movie.

Those things are important too.

This obsession with ‘everybody wins’ troubles me. I mean, some schools have banned the game ‘Tag’ because the person who is ‘It’ feels bad about themselves. Are you kidding me with this shit?

And this obsession – which starts way too early – about GPA and class rank and building resumes for college apps – that scares the hell out of me. Because if kids don’t learn the off-campus stuff in high school, what’s going to happen when they leave home?

Anyway – we’re picking up our daughter after her last exam this morning and going to Florida. Where we are going to focus our collective Type A personalities on fun. And laughing. And screaming on the coasters. And just hanging out without phones or schedules or faxes or e-mails or power point presentations.

So, since I’m not here to keep talking – how about sharing what you did or didn’t learn?

Comments

[Josh]

I learned that generally, when you get a "D" or an "F" for a marking term, that you earned it.

That translating Cicero word-by-word sequentially isn't exactly the way to get a good grade. Sorry, Miss Fay, but after "Omnia Gallia in tres partes divisa est," which was in the first week of Latin II, I had had enough. It just took four more marking periods for the corpse to be completely cold. Only one F there over two years, but should have been more.

That spending all class making fun of Mrs. Buzzard's leopard vest doesn't help you learn about valances or concentrate or whatever Chemistry things we should have been learning. C's and F's there, deservedly.

That pining over Clare, who rightfully wanted nothing to do with me, or looking at the legs of the cheerleader sitting in front of me was not conducive to learning parabolas or other silly calculus things. C's and F's there, deservedly.

That the time spent hanging out in the newspaper staff room reading hard-core porn paperbacks outloud to a rapt audience of like-minded teens, without the stressed out editors like Sarah around (bet she didn't know about that), was the happiest time of the whole experience.

Lots more, but I have an Ethics seminar to attend today, so I will be off line.

[Kathy Reschini Sweeney]

Josh - I love you, man.

One has to wonder if the leopard for Mrs. Buzzard's vest went peacefully.

I learned that there is a line between getting in trouble and getting in real, criminal trouble. A bunch of us learned that one together. Thankfully, we stayed on the right side of the line. Okay, we were *on* the line. Some friends tell me they knew I'd be a lawyer some day when I negotiated immunity for everyone in return for, uh, disclosing the locations of the missing forks. Good times.

I also learned that if you participate in class, you can get away with a lot more in terms of excuses for other stuff.

[William Simon]

I learned that Arthur Miller was a brilliant playwright, Shakespeare did know what he was talking about, and Victor Hugo was a master of construction.

I learned that Humanity as a whole can perform absolutely amazing acts of kindness, then be sadistically cruel, very often within the same minute.

I learned (as Josh says), that pining over some girl who doesn't know you're alive can mess up your GPA. (In my case, her name was Candace, but the end result was the same.) Once I realized it was hopeless, said GPA improved. (Had I known the Pining/She Doesn't Know You Exist carried over into adulthood, I'd have bagged the whole thing then and there.)

I learned that even schools can make mistakes. (A letter came to the house stating I lacked enough credits to graduate; that was a VERY long night. Next day, my Guidance Counselor double checked, and it turned out I was THREE credits OVER. I guarded THAT letter with my life until I got home.)

I learned people can surprise the hell out of you. The proverbial "Fat Kid" who couldn't walk without tripping over his own feet walked out onto the baseball diamond one day, smacked three in a row over the fence, and was suddenly elevated to Superstar Status. I still remember his name, too. Danny, if you're out there, someone remembers that day.

I learned that Higher Math makes no sense, and if I can balance my checkbook, Life Is Good.

I learned that some teachers genuinely possess Magic. When Mr. Carver saw me reading one of Don Pendleton's THE EXECUTIONER, he asked to borrow it, read it, then invited me after school to genuinely discuss it, as we analyzed "Classics" in class. It became a tradition; when each new Pendleton came out, which was about every three months back then, there was an After School Conference. I believe Mr. Carver enjoyed them as much as I did. If I ever "make it" as a writer, it's because of that man.

[Rick]

I agree with most of what's being said; however, I do believe that the academic stressers (longer papers, integration of technologies, more language prep) are important to keep pace with what's current in this generation not what we were doing 35-55 years ago in high school. And we have the tools to support the extra effort. My struggling 5-7 page report on information found in a dusty corner of a library written on paper or with a manual typewriter was a far greater challenge than some kid's 30-page, noted paper greated using high-speed web access to everything under the sun in seconds and typed on a computer with the resources and tools of MSWord, Excel, and PowerPoint.

I also agree it's acceptable to fail. If you don't fail in grade school or high school and learn the lessons from it, when are you going to learn how to deal with failure? College? Life? So what if you got laughed at in school for something stupid you did or got bounced out of a dodge ball game or, heaven forbid, were "it" in tag. The school districts who ban this stuff should be the ones being psycho-analyzed, not the kids.

[Nancy Martin]

I learned that getting picked first for the team in gym class felt much better than getting an "A" in algebra.

But also---looking around my small town, I saw a lot of consequences of failure. And although I loved my town, I always knew I was going to leave it. So while I pursued the good times, I also didn't want to fail.

Great blog, Rebecca. Soak up that sunshine, girl!

[Nancy Martin]

Good point, Rick. Writing a term paper on a 40-year-old manual typewriter with only long-drying White Out for damage control was one of the most difficult tasks of my life.

Hey, remember Typing Class? All the girls took it. We only had one guy in my class. Later, watching my husband learn to use a keyboard when computers first arrived in his office---now, that was watching a man endure slow torture.

[michele]

I have to say, guys -- wow, I really disagree. The best experiences of my life were when my school or job pushed me to excel. I spent one year (freshman year of high school) in a small-town public school where everybody drank and played sports and thought school was a grind and a bore, and thought I was a nerd for wanting to learn. Those kids are right where I left them, drinking lots of beer in their little town and struggling to survive.

[Maryann Mercer]

I learned that having a cousin three years older and president of National Honor Society can be a drag. For most of my freshman year, I was "Glen's cousin"...talk about pressure. Good thing I could hold my own in the grades department.I had a family rep to protect since my trig teacher not only had taught Glen but my uncle Henry (she was I think almost as old as the building).
I learned that making a papier mache cactus with a classmate who wears Old Spice can cause an everlasting connection between the two.
I learned that teenage boys can be better friends than some teenage girls.
I learned that history is people...I had a fantastic teacher who made the subject more than just bunch of timelines. And I learned that writing is fun from being on staff at the school paper.
I learned to appreciate music...all music.
And to sing a cappella without panicking!
I learned fear and sorrow when Kennedy was assassinated (I was in journalism) and when my psychology teacher could not hold class because she was so upset. And my best friend's mom died the next day.
Most of all, I learned that high school doesn't prepare you for life. You have to learn that yourself, day by day, bit by bit.
And michele, I didn't mind being pushed to excel, because I think it taught me the value of working hard, BUT I think today the value of working hard has been lost in the mad rush to succeed no matter what. Kids shouldn't have to be so stressed that they don't have a chance to be kids. There's a fine line between pushing and shoving.

[Judy Larsen]

I learned that when I really loved a topic (or a teacher) I'd never give up. I learned I was smart and I liked that feeling. I also learned that crying sometimes got me a few extra points in geometry (I'm not real proud of that, though). When a teacher stopped my mom in the grocery store and told her I was a writer I learned what I could be.

I learned that some boys back then were intimidated by a smart girl. I learned that those same boys liked the cheerleaders more than a yearbook editor.

I learned that it's easy to forge notes from your parents, but I also learned that my mom had an uncanny sense of knowing when I'd done so.

I learned to drink beer and I learned that drinking 12 Tom Collinses in an evening will make it so that I'll never drink another one again.

I learned to balance the beer and the books so that when I went to college I didn't go off the deep end either way.

[Harley]

I went to a fantastic -- public -- high school. I learned a lot about drugs and rock & roll, but saved sex for the summer after graduation. Whatever I didn't learn back then (due to skipped classes and weasling out of anything beyond algebra) I'm learning now. That's what extension courses are for. Half of what excites me now would have put me to sleep back then.

Most of the important stuff I have only realized in retrospect. For instance: the teachers that made such an impact will remain among the Big Influences of your life. Ditto the friends.

You know what I'd like? A reunion that would be attended by the Dead Faculty and Alumni. I'd give a lot to see my best friend, who died 2 years ago and my first boyfriend, who didn't make it to 35. And Mrs. Williams, who conveyed passionate love for Greco-Roman history, and Mr. Barrett, who supposedly taught Social Studies, but in fact taught me to think independently.

[William Simon]

Being pushed to excel is fine; my mother was a teacher before I came along, and as you can imagine, no slack was cut. But the pressure to excel/succeed at any cost has led to a horrifying epidemic of cheating, from grade school to college to West Point to the FBI Academy.

In my opinion, for what it's worth, the biggest mistake ever made was tying aptitude test scores to teacher bonuses. Year after year down here, the TAKS test is in the news with cheating scandals, teachers who "fudge" the grades, principals who "don't believe in failure", etc. When it comes to money, people get weird....

[Joyce Tremel]

I learned that when you go to your 20th or 25th reunion people will talk to you and you have no idea who they are! Also that the people who were "hot" in high school are definitely "not hot" anymore. And that the cheerleaders are still annoying.

[Joyce Tremel]

William, I agree with you about those tests. Pennsylvania is considering making kids take a standardized test in order to graduate. A very bad idea. Some of the smartest kids don't do well on these kinds of tests. Ohio has standardized testing and my son Andy, who is a grad student at an Ohio college said the kids he teaches are dumb as rocks, but they obviously passed the test to get into college.

[Karen Olson]

What didn't I learn? Trigonometry, calculus, chemistry, physics. (And I never did learn these things)

What did I learn? I could write, I loved Shakespeare and Moby Dick and Chaucer and art history.

I did not make lifelong friends. I didn't even make friends who lasted through high school. That's what college was for.

[Karen Olson]

Oh, and as opposed to Joyce's experience, I learned at my 25th reunion that the "hot" people WERE still hot, and I was most definitely still not. No one talked to me. I was reverted back to that geeky kid with the big glasses who just liked to read. I am NOT going to my 30th reunion this summer and reliving that all over again. Once was enough.

[ramona]

I learned that there are books, and then there are BOOKS. Thank you, Mrs. Barker, for explaining this while handing me Les Miserables.

I learned that, if you grew up in a little town, it is not necessary to attend your class reunions, as long as your mother periodically goes to the Post Office. However, I also learned that my mother's answer to "What's Ramona been doing the last X years?" is "She had twins and she's put on weight." When I go home, I avoid the Post Office.

[maggie]

I learned that it takes way more energy to be "cool" than to be a nerd. And I learned that (thanks to Catholic school) plaid is a great equalizer. Hard to be cool in rubber-soled brogues and black watch plaid.

[hollygee]

I learned that teachers are interesting persons and that if you were a curious student, if a bit lazy, they might be interested in talking to you on a person to person rather than a teacher to student basis.

I want to know if kids who are writing papers now are taught how to find the reference sources beyond the internet? Libraries, librarians, people interviews, etc. are still viable sources for information and may reveal something outside what can be found on the internet.

[Kerry, The Martial Tart]

High school was my escape from home. I did learn advanced calculus, as well as how to read deeply and write well in two languages, to sing in a choir, to do library research, to think and to reason, and to take responsibility for my own learning. I learned what a difference one good teacher can make, especially when that one good teacher follows on the heels of a really awful one.

I learned how to use a slide rule, logarithms, trig tables, manual typewriters (with blank caps on the keys), and libraries.

I learned that a lot of kids who proclaimed their morals the loudest were often those who lived them the least. I learned the value of good friends, of stretching my mental muscles, and of being goofy as often as possible. Through those good friends and a handful of outstanding teachers, I discovered a world of books and music that I never would have explored otherwise.

I was never "taught to the test" which I agree has been one of many death knells for the students I now struggle to engage and teach. I had the great good fortune to be rewarded for intellectual curiosity and to value the opportunity to learn everything and anything.

I also learned how devastating parental pressure to succeed can be to a child, and tried really hard with my own daughter to find the appropriate balance between combating laziness on the one hand and pushing too hard on the other.

Rebecca, GREAT blog! Have a wonderful time in Florida, and tell your daughter "good luck" :)

[SarahS]

Fuck you, Josh. I was so not a stressed out editor. Did I sit around reading porn? No. But that may because I, uhm, had what one calls A LIFE!

Moreover, I didn't care what you did because I WASN'T YOUR MOTHER!!!

Rebecca, this is so great! Anna's registering for the SAT, a process that in itself takes hours of daunting questions.

But if you knew what other parents were doing to get their kids into the right colleges....Ay, yi, yi.

Hey, have fun FLA. Think of me in a hotel room writing alone....

Josh, I wanna see you after class.

[Mary Storyteller]

William, very good point. Comparing scores would only make sense if the students came in all the same. Teaching is not assembly line work, though NCLB and "accountability" seems to be trying to make it that way. Even if we could, we shouldn't WANT students to all come out alike. We need their differences, their creative approaches to problems.
Many schools have eliminated valedictorian and saluditorian in favor of a "with honors" distinction. Competition for that extra .0001 of GPA leads to ridiculous efforts and decisions. We also used to try to get students to limit "honors" classes to two or three, in the areas they actually had the most aptitude and interest in. Often the parents would insist on "all honors." I would watch these students come into my Short Stories class, a fun elective with reasonable workload, and the tension would ease out of them. Life can't be "nose to the grindstone" all the time.
I was a Natiional Merit Scholar and straight-A through high school (learned to accept Bs in college, even sometimes a C), but I still remember lots of fun times, and counselors who encouraged me to join clubs and act in plays. Colleges, at least then, wanted a well-rounded person, with more than academics to recommend. My brothers would tell teachers who chirped, "Mary's brother?" -- "Don't get your hopes up." They wanted to be just regular students, no pressure for them.

[cathy]

I didn't learn advanced calculus in high school. I stopped with non-honors precalculus, which was called trigonometry and functions. to be honoest, wouldn't have qualified for advanced calculus, althuogh I could have taken regular calculus had I wanted to take a 4th year of math. Instead I took 3 years of computer science along with 3 years of math. I'm dating myself, but I had a year and a half of fortran, a semester of macro and pascal for the AP course.

For language class I deliberately took latin so I wouldn't have to learn how to speak it. There was a time when I could have told you what the supine was and how to use it in a sentence. We read Caesar, Cicero, Virgil, Ovid, Plutarch, Pliny and the Vulgate.

While my school (private) offered lots of AP courses, no ever told me I wouldn't get into a good college if I didn't take them, and I did normal stuff during the summer - working as a lifeguard and swim instructor at a couple summer camps. I also didn't hold any job other than babysitting during the school year.

Term papers were a fact of life. Not 40 pages, but a 15-20 page paper at the end of termin English or history was the norm. Science classes generally only required a 5 or 6 page final paper. English class geneally also involved at least 4 or 5 6-8 page papers during the term.

We were not taught to the test but were taught to value learing and intellectual curiosity. Aside from the PSATs, SATs, APs and Achievment tests, I don't think there were any other standardized tests. As a private school, we weren't required to take the NY Regents tests.

I learned that being a bottom feeder in high school wasn't going to determine the course of the rest of my life.

I leared that driving the tiny little toyota in drivers ed in no way prepared me for driving my dad's 69 chevrolet biscayne (an impala without the bells and whistles), especially when it came to trying to parallel park it in manhattan. fortunately, my dad had that one figured out before me and very nicely went out with me on sunday mornings when he could have been sleeping in so I could practice driving and parking at a time when I was unlikely to do any damage.

[Mary Storyteller]

hollygee -- Libraries, librarians, people interviews, etc. are still viable sources for information
YES!
Students would be so surprised when I told them that a primary source -- a person who knew from his/her own experience was the best source. Talk to Grandpa! The best work I ever saw from my students was when I told them to talk to an older relative and write about what they did when younger. They were so good that I didn't want to give them back, and I told them to preserve those stories because others in their families would also value them.
One student, a dancer, told me that in my class she learned that she could also express herself in her writing. I hold that as my highest honor as a teacher.

[Tania]

In my school in the 1980s, I could have learned Calculus, except that I wasn't a math whiz and stopped with Algebra II. I took both French and Russian; physics and chemistry; AP English and AP History; in tenth grade wrote my first 80-page term paper (and it was indeed an entire-term project, begun in September and handed in in December) with copious footnotes and bibliography, produced on an IBM typewriter since it was before most people had home computers. PowerPoint was as yet undreamed of, but oral presentations were standard.

All this wasn't all that draining. What WAS draining, and what I really resented at the time and could hardly believe they were putting us through it, was that those of us who played an instrument were required to participate in various band and orchestra competitions. If you were unluckily competent or played a rare instrument, you could end up crisscrossing the state going to District Band, Regional Band, State Band, and All-Eastern, and the same progression for Orchestra. Extra rehearsals evenings, and Friday-through-Sunday bus trips every weekend in the spring. It's Spring Break? Too bad, gotta go to Regional Orchestra anyway. We did our schoolwork in spare moments, e.g., on the bus, or in rehearsal when we weren't actually blowing air into said instruments, and no one got much sleep.

Add to this the part-time jobs that most of us had starting in 10th or 11th grade, and it was all very good practice for the frantically busy years of college and grad school to come. When I finally got a full-time job, I didn't know what to do with all the extra time I had for the the first time since I was about 14.

This taught me to work very hard, but it also turned me into an overachieving workaholic. Only recently was I able to step back, realize this, and decide it was not really a good way to be.

[Anna Merriman]

I'm in high school at the moment and I know exactly how your daughter is feeling, Rebecca.
Let's see,
So far i have learned,

that putting french words into english sentences ("ou est my homework" or "I'm in class a la moment") does not count as real french.

that the excuse "I left it on my computer at home! can I please bring it tomorrow?" works but should not be overused.

that most teachers don't accept wikipedia even though it is a HIGHLY reliable source.

that there is a fine line between getting extentions on a few projects for help and having so many extentions that you're ready to kill yourself.

that if you ever let play practice and sports coincide, both your sports coach and your drama director will come down on you like a ton of bricks.

I did not learn:

Precalculus
Biology (but that's just because the teacher was evil)
or why permanganate is written MnO4 when it is not a 7th column ion.

Some very valuable life lessons there!