We Interrupt This Blog—
by Harley

So there I was writing a blog on the Federal Reserve, when Larry King came on. Discussing UFOs. I know, we’ve already chatted about aliens on TLC—I think Sarah started it—but it’s an election year, and we need to revisit some issues.

Here’s what happened: recently, a bunch of folks down in Stephenville, Texas saw a silent low-to-the-ground well-lit spaceship. These were solid citizen types, not yoga instructors or professional clowns. They didn’t appear to be on drugs. One of them was the county constable.

Yes, I believe these guys. That’s not even an issue. I can think of a lot of things less plausible than interplanetary travel, and the fact that they landed in the Lone Star State suggests a sense of humor. Larry King brought in a professional skeptic who wrote off the sightings as “sun dogs” in a peevish tone of voice, but what got my attention was the science guy that said the Air Force has been holding out on us for 60 years, and that presidents always just clam up and do what the Air Force tells them.

Which answers the question, “why would anyone in his/her right mind run for president?” (Because the winner tours Area 51!)

Picture this: it’s the day after the Inaugural Ball. You’re the new president. You’re hanging out in the Oval Office, there’s a knock on the door and in walks the USAF Big Cheese.

“Madame/Mister President,” he says, “I’m here for your flying saucers briefing. Yes, it’s true: we’ve got them in special underground parking lots, except when they go out for night rides and pick up research specimens. We’re very strict about the abductee quota, which is based on current census figures, and we keep it low: no more than .2% of registered voters. They’re careful about wiping out the memories, but sometimes you get citizens—Iowans and Nebraskans, mostly—who’re immune to the erasing procedures, and end up blogging about it. We’ve suggested a cattle-for-humans swap, but the Department of Agriculture is already upset about Crop Circles, and the aliens aren’t going for it anyway. BTW, in the interest of national security, what you hear in the Oval Office stays in the Oval Office. No one must know what I’ve just told you. Especially the spouse. Jackie didn’t know, Lady Bird didn’t know, Laura was definitely in the dark. Nancy Reagan’s astrologer told her, but we discredited her. We think Betty Ford knew.”

Unlikely? Well, if we at TLC are a representative sample, one out of three of you finds nothing odd about this scenario. Especially if you’re William, Tom or Josh. According to a 2005 Harris poll, more women than men believe in God, miracles, heaven, hell, the Virgin birth, angels, the devil, ghosts, astrology and reincarnation. But more men believe in UFO’s and witches.

And get this: Republicans go for God, heaven, angels, the Devil, Hell, Virgin birth, ghosts and witches; Democrats like miracles, UFO’s, astrology and reincarnation. And the Independents? Not so religious. But stronger than Republicans on UFOs, astrology and reincarnation, and more into witches than the Democrats are.

There’s a way for the presidential candidates to exploit these facts—e.g., if you’re going for the Female Independent, brag about being Capricorn with Leo rising. Want Republican males? Get tough on Wicca. At the very least, it could lure people into the voting booth, because this stuff’s a lot more fun to research than Prop 92 and 93.

Put me down as a YES on everything but Hell and The Devil.

Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Monday!
Harley

Comments

[Tom]

I can explain the Texas sightings.

It's a problem I have with parallel parking.

[Josh]

Ooh! Politics blog on a day off from work. Nothing good can come of this, but I need to take the first shot. (Tom's was not really a "shot.")

From everything I understand, for the past three decades, at least, the Republicans HAVE been "getting tough on Wicca." Want to see it go into high gear? Nominate Clinton.

[William Simon]

To paraphrase Mr. Spock, it would be illogical to assume this is the only planet in the entire universe capable of sustaining life.

To quote myself, if WE are the Ultimate in Creation, if we're the Best That Can Be Done, well ...we're screwed.

[Nancy Martin]

No wonder Betty Ford invented that hospital.

But Pat Nixon? Hey, she had the look of an abductee, don't you think?

[j renee stuart]

Okay - I confess. I'm a Libertarian... and I believe in The Great Pumpkin.

[Rick]

I've been to Area 51 and what I saw would amaze you. If only I can remember more than something about armies of monkeys.

[Kathy Reschini Sweeney]

I believe in all that stuff. I think it comes from growing up RC.

Why not believe it?

Great blog, Harley. And I think Nancy Reagan knows more than she's telling. That woman missed nothing.

[Maryann Mercer]

Was the Texas sighting around the holidays? Maybe it was Jolly Old St. Nick having some fun inbetween toy drops :o)
Anything is possible...maybe not plausible but definitely possible, which means there may just be hope for us humans yet :o) I am such an optimist! And Harley, your take on what actually differentiates the GOP from the Dem makes more sense than a lot of what passes for fact. Good job!

[Harley]

The sightings were January 8 -- Hey, Margie! Is that Epiphany?

And oh, dear Pat Nixon. Will that poor woman ever be remembered for anything other than wearing a cloth coat? (oops. I'm dating myself.)

[J.D. Rhoades]

I believe in UFO's in the sense that I believe people have seen flying objects that they cannot yet identify. Do I believe they're travelers from another star? What we know about physics, especially the "Einstein barrier" (the speed of light), the difficulties involved in acclerating to even nearly that speed, and the distances between star systems would tend to make it an unlikely explanation.

[Nancy Martin]

The shell-shocked woman who walked with Nixon to the helicopter---she had definitely seen things from another world.

[ArkansasCyndi]

Saw that UFO report out of Texas. First, it was "explained" as a number of planes in the area and the people who saw it were just confused. The problem? there were no planes in the area. Oops. Need another explanation.

Great blog!

[michele]

Thanks for that clarification, Dusty. You've made me feel comfortable admitting that *I've* seen a flying object I couldn't identify. On a cold dark night just a couple of months ago, I drove around the pond to my neighbor's house to go to a trunk show. I parked along the deserted road, and as I got out and locked my car, from the corner of my eye I saw an oval disk rise in the sky above the trees. It was black in the center but outlined in brilliant glowing green. As I turned to look at it full on, it flashed away.

This is absolutely true. I wasn't drinking anything, and I have no vision problems that I'm aware of. I have no idea what it could have been, but I know I saw it.

[Harley]

Ooooh, Michele, I just got chills. Seriously.

Yes, poor Pat. Nancy, on the other hand? You're right, Kathy. Nancy gets her hair cut at the same salon I go to for my blondeness. Not only is she perfectly coiffed, she appears to be sharp as the proverbial tack. I know she keeps her Secret Service men hopping. (And they always look kinda miserable at the salon.) I bet she intimidate the aliens.

[Nancy Martin]

Michele, I hope you plan on blogging about the trunk show. And did you tell any of the other guests about your sighting??

[j renee stuart]

Michele, the same thing happened to cousin. She was having a cup of coffee on her back porch when a shiny disk-thing rose above the treeline, hovered for maybe fifteen or twenty seconds, then took off at an unbelievable speed. She is the most rational, well grounded (No pun intended) person that I know. If she says she saw it - then she saw it.
By the way...what's a 'trunk show'?

[Harley]

I think trunk shows deserve a blog of their own, Michele.

[michele]

There's no shopping where I live, so people will have shows of local designers in their homes. This was not Oscar de la Renta, folks. But yes! I told people there about my UFO sighting, and they were unimpressed. Maybe they're not as open-minded as the Lipstickers? I then read in the paper a couple of days later that a pilot flying out of a nearby airport reported someone shining green lights at his plane!

[Elaine Viets]

I was puzzled by that UFO report, Harley. When I was a reporter, flying saucer sightings peaked in August, during the slow news season, in places like Piedmont, Missouri. But a sighting now, in an election year? Amazing.

[Harley]

and in TEXAS. I don't understand it, but I know there's some significance to the fact that it happened there. In Stephenville. Larry King's Debunker guy dismissed it by talking about all the airports and military facilities around Stephenville, but presumably those things have been around for years.

On the other hand, I was also struck by how Larry (or his producers) managed to find fun, charismatic and attractive people, both for the "I saw it with my own eyes!" group and the "I'm a scientist and I believe this stuff" panel. Whereas the poor Debunker needed a stylist, a massage, and a martini. And some friends.

[SarahS]

OMG - this is a great day! Michele is perhaps the most practical person I know and if she saw one then definitely. BTW - Should we be worried about UFOS all over the place now? Maybe someone should tie these sightings together.

I was 15 on Cape Cod with a friend and we were walking down a sandy road bordered on either side by marsh. Pretty flat and pitch black. Out of nowhere a huge glowing object appeared in the sky, grew larger until it was incredibly bright, hovered and then - zing - took off.

We ran hell for leather back to the cabin and called the local cops and I think a local navy outpost, or some military thing. (The bay off wellfleet holds a target ship used for bombing, so that might have been an explanation.) They said they'd received numerous reports, but nothing they could verify.

My parents laughed. But now, thanks to Michele, I know they were wrong.

[SarahS]

Also, these sightings are supposedly indicators that the End is near:

http://www.rb59.com/prophecy-news/2008/01/ufo-sightings-increase.html

[Rita Scott]

We had a well publicized sighting about 6 yrs ago here. They couldn't debunk the witnesses, they were all cops, who put it over the radio so the next dept could track it.
The UFO went right by Scott AFB, but they just didn't happen to have their radar on that night! yeah, right! Sci-fi TV did a segment about it.
I think alot of UFOs are things our government is testing.

[Laura (in PA)]

OOH, I love this kind of stuff!

Interestingly, Harley, I have often mused over the fact that my husband has no belief at all in God, but is more than willing to believe that there are Aliens, and the biggest myth of them all, politicians.

I believe in lots of these kinds of things (witches, psychics, ghosts, etc.). I always put it down to my Irish roots, but maybe Kathy's right with the RC thing.

Very cool blog, Harley!

[Harley]

Yes, I'm RC too. Half Slovak, whose claim to fame was that they were the peasants in the Dracula legend; and half Scandinavian, the people who believe in trolls. I can't believe vampires and trolls didn't even make it onto the Harris Poll.