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TMI

By Sarah

I am on deadline for SWEET LOVE - my best book yet. I'm a busy woman with a month worth of rewrites  ahead of me along with kid duty, housework, bills to pay, Thanksgiving to attend and lots of carpooling. Which is why I'm so very glad NASA, a federally funded organization, has announced that they will NOT be releasing data on near misses at airports because the public simply doesn't need to know.

Hear, hear.

It's about time that someone in this age of information finally blew the whistle, drew the line and executed a whole bunch of other cliches that mean "stopped this craziness." Too much information. That's what we're dealing with these days. We know about everything from Dick Cheney's enlarged spleen to Britney Spears's custody arrangement and the color of her underwear. Of course, there's lots of stuff that we should know that we don't....but certainly the number of birds that fly into engines and pilots who stagger into the cockpit are not on that list.

Frankly, I'm overloaded. The data on red wine alone has my head spinning - and not in the normal good red wine way. First, alcohol is bad, but a glass of red wine is good. Wait. It's really good, especially if you live in France and eat lots of fatty cheeses. But hold on! Red wine for women is a no, no. Even a glass a day can cause breast cancer. Though, if you can analyze the statistics, that's bull since only a certain percentage of women get breast cancer and, of those, a teeny tiny percent drink alcohol. Plus, red wine can help your heart. Conclusion? Ask your doctor since he or she has even MORE information, information you can't possibly understand without attending seven years of info-saturated me school.

As for taxes.....

Unfortunately, this Age of Information thing, the concept that with the speed of the Internet we can know Now and in Detail, has spilled over to everyday discourse. No longer are particular subjects taboo. People reveal the most personal tidbits about their lives with the least little nudge.

Look, I live in a bubble when I'm writing. I find it hard to leave my desk long enough to go to the grocery store. But when I do, I invariably run into an old friend or long lost acquaintance who is all too ready to dump about a relationship that's not working because her husband doesn't pay attention to her. Hours have been consumed, positively pissed away, listening to stories about dogs with mange, dogs with loyalty issues, dogs with bad attitudes and, worst of all, dogs with worms.

Health concerns are top of the TMI list. I'm sorry, but as much as I love you please don't tell me about the color of your urine. Urine color, along with snot consistency should never, ever be discussed outside a doctor's office. Ditto about these thick prospectus these companies in which I've invested keep sending me. I really don't care and I don't have the time to sit down and try to comprehend why section B of Article II is up for proxy vote. Borrring!

Last week, our daughter and I began the school tour. We looked at my alma mater, Tufts, Dartmouth and Boston University - three different schools within a reasonable distance. We came back with books - books! - the schools gave us listing their courses, professors, typical days, typical nights, requirements, admission standards, statistics on who gets in, who doesn't, tuition (don't ask - horrifying), scholarships, rooms, libraries, dining, extracurricular activities, tradition, alumni.....endless amounts of information I will never read. Wanna know a secret? We threw them away.

Even a trip to the dentist is fraught with unnecessary info, most of it technologically driven. Because they have digital equipment, dentists feel compelled to show you up close and in graphic, high definition detail, the decay in your right bicuspid. No, no and no! I don't want to see that icky black detritus left by devouring bacteria. I want to put my headphones on, open my mouth for the Novocaine and forget why I'm there or what they're doing.

Which is why I'm glad NASA's not telling me about how many near misses there have been. Flying is a fact of everyday life. Rarely can one get 25,000 feet into the air and ask to be let off. We're victims, really, poor sitting ducks with few options. Better that we don't know our plane nearly clipped a private jet flying too high.

Am I wrong? Or, admit it, you're sick of TMI too....

Back to the book,

Sarah

Comments

[Elaine Viets]

I'm getting ready to fly to St. Louis Nov. 7 -- I don't know if the NSA report would make me feel better or worse. I'm jittery enough about flying as it is.
But didn't we, the taxpayers, pay for that report? Don't we have right to it?

[Darlene Ryan]

Nancy, lemon curd makes a wonderful filling for a jelly roll. It's also good on warm bread pudding or warm rhubarb crisp or a s spread for scones at afternoon tea. (For those of you who've never had rhubarb it looks like reddish celery and is very tart but tastes wonderful in a pie or crisp with strawberries.)

[Elaine Viets]

"But didn't we, the taxpayers, pay for that report? Don't we have right to it?"

That should be "a right to it." Sheesh. The thought of getting on a plane is making my fingers shake.

[ramona]

William, your post makes me think of a book title: If I Did Keep It a Secret.

Michele, be careful what you wish for. Are you sure you want gossip from Rocco's love life? (No offense, Rocco, I just live in the slow lane.)

If the right wingers have a problem with Albus, they can just suck his wand.

[SarahS]

Ice wine...I thought you said "mice wine" which is guess is really a wine in some parts of Asia - stuffed with live baby mice. (Though not live for long, I'm guessing.)

And, yes, Elaine, you're right - we did pay for that report. Then again, I pay for the lot of stuff the govt. does that I don't see.

Back to the book!

[michele]

Rocco, you and I are totally going shopping, hon. I can only imagine how much fun you would be! Email me off list and let's make a date.

[Michael]

Oh don't worry. A few airlines spend the extra money to get the engines overhauled in China.....

[Kerry, The Martial Tart]

Nancy, I hear you. We're starting an overhaul ourselves soon, and I'm almost afraid to begin emptying cupboards (especially the ones that are hard to reach). Lemon curd -- YUM! Bet it's good on tangerine sherbet, but I'd take it slathered on poundcake, too. Which reminds me . . .

Sarah, I so DO NOT want to read a book full of deserts. I am Making a Healthy Lifestyle Change, and reading recipes like that (or worse, actual descriptions of the finished products) will make me Very Cranky.

I think maybe I need some of that wine (no, wait -- calories -- arrrrrrgggggghhhhh!)

[ramona]

(Minor Hijack, Sarah) I'd like this for Christmas, or sooner:

http://www.cafepress.com/buy/headmaster/-/pv_design_prod/p_261600.180385900/pNo_180385900/id_23044176/fpt_/opt_/c_666/pg_1

[Josh]

Ramona, is that "Headmaster" some kind of sly literary double entendre? How witty.

[michele]

I want that t-shirt too!

[michele]

PS -- Josh, you're disgusting!