Sleepy, Wakey, Dreamy, Snorey, Grumpy, Loopy and Doc

By Rebecca the Bookseller

I used to sleep. I know I did. The memory is hazy as time goes on, but I know it happened. I was never a heavy sleeper, but I did sleep through the night.

Then I had children. Some children sleep like little angels, for hours at a time. Not mine. Never did, and still don't. So I blame childbirth for starting this mess. Then, another thrill - menopause, where insomnia is rivaled only by the hot flashes as the most dreadful symptom. The medical answer to this? Hormones. No thank you. I think we all know how well that worked out for the last two generations of women, don't we? So, sorry Doc, I'll take the fatigue.

Then, and I'm not sure how this happened, I started to snore. Not all the time, but enough to make a difference. Know how I am sure that I snore (in addition to my husband, who can give a chain saw a run for its money)? Because sometimes I snork myself awake. That's right. I wake myself up - at first, it was like one of those falling off a cliff things - jarring. Now, I just roll over. I am currently trying one of those non-snore pillows, but so far it's only given me a stiff neck.

Yes, I tried all the conventional wisdom for insomnia - use the bed only for sleep; get up and go to bed at the same time day after day; avoid caffeine; take a hot bath, blah-blah-dee-blah-blah-blah. It's all crap.

So now I take naps. But I can't power nap - like my doctor friends, who can, no kidding, fall asleep sitting bolt upright in a chair during half time of the Steeler game and then pop right back into the conversation. I'm looking at you, Mitchell. If I nap for any less than an hour, I feel hungover. And a hangover with no preceding funny memories is a very sad state of affairs.

Here is the fun part of all this - my dreams have changed. They're better -and get this - I can change them. Not all the time, but lots of times. It occurs when I find I'm in some kind of place where I know I'm dreaming, and I can change the direction of the dream, or extend it, or make it end. Very cool. I didn't tell anyone about this because, frankly, I thought it was probably some kind of delusional state that has a diagnostic name that can get you locked up for 72 hours. But then, I read about something called Lucid Dreaming - and guess what? It's a real thing, and not just my personal psychotic manifestation. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

Because I'll tell you, the dreams are pretty passionate. And not just sexual - although those are wonderful. But I can do that in real life, thankfully. So it's the violent ones that I enjoy the most. Do you know how many jagoffs I have beaten to a bloody pulp with my own hands? Lots. Sometimes, I just let the dream wheel spin and see who gets the smack-down. But sometimes, I substitute someone who really deserves it. You know, like those smirky people on TV who think they can get away with anything. Oh, the fun I've had with them, wiping that smirk off with a nice roundhouse kick to the schnozz. Good times. Because in my dreams, I could take Chuck Norris. Blasphemy? Blow it out your ear. If this is the only upside to insomnia, I'm taking it and running. Running right over anyone who gets in my way. And leaving a mark, too. Ahhh, catharsis, thy name is kickass.

There are studies about this Lucid Dreaming, and even classes you can take to learn how to do it. I sure as hell can't explain it, but I'm not going to question it. And here is why you shouldn't question it either - because people who are sleep deprived tend to be very grumpy, to say nothing of loopy. And grumpy people tend to take it out on other people. This way, I express lots of aggresssion on schmucks who really deserve it, without felony charges. It's really a win-win situation.

Sweet Dreams!

Comments

[Josh]

Lucid Dreaming? Shit, I'm lucky to be lucid when I'm awake.

[ArkansasCyndi]

Snoring, huh? I'd put my dad up against anyone in that contest. True story...Growing up, I lived in a two story house, the lower story being a basement. The basement had three bedrooms, a bath, playroom, laundry room, etc. My bedroom was downstairs on the same end of the house as my parents' room but on the other side. One night (jr. high), one of my friends woke me up in the middle of the night scared to death. She told me someone was upstairs moving furniture. I listened. It was dad snoring..upstairs..across the hall!

Dreams - I dream in color. I can usually remember 2 or 3 of them in the morning if I try early. I always hear stories about how people "pose" a problem to themselves before they go to sleep and then while they sleep, the mind works out the problem and gives them the answer in a dream. I've tried that, but so far, my mind just tells me stories that make no sense.

You know who's dreams I'd like to hear about? Margie!

Great topic Rebecca

[Nancy Martin]

Sleep deprivation finally beat me. I was crazy---depressed, angry, easily triggered to do ill-considered things. And the naps became so frequent that I was basically sleeping half the day, while tossing and turning and hot flashing half the night. So I take Simply Sleep. It's Tylenol pm without the Tylenol. I only need half a dose. Sleep is blissful.

[Laura (in PA)]

Ugh - sleeping.

I don't usually have trouble falling asleep, but if I wake up in the middle of the night I can't get back to sleep. And I wake up easily. For example, my husband went to the Eagles game Monday night. He came home at 1:00 am, and although he tried hard to be quiet, with 3 dogs in the room it's hard to get in unnoticed. I was then awake from 1:00 am to 4:00 am, because I couldn't fall back asleep.

I'm not one of those people who can get by on 3 hours sleep. I need 8. or I'm cranky. Really cranky.

Yesterday I realized that I was full of tension and decided to work at home today so I wouldn't give into my general annoyance with the world, and slap someone. When I got home last evening, I did 30 minutes of yoga for the first time in a couple of months. I was reading in bed and fell asleep at 8:30, and slept through the night. I guess I just needed to relax a little.

I do use Tylenol PM at times, or just the PM part, which is basically Benedryl (diphenhydramine). It works to get me to stay asleep, but I'm REALLY groggy the next morning, so I don't do it unless I haven't slept well for several days running. (So, Nancy, generic Benedryl is probably the same thing as Simply Sleep, and may be less expensive. Worth a look.)

My husband, damn him, falls asleep within 30 seconds of hitting the pillow, and snores. He was quite bad for a while - we could easily hear him snoring in the bedroom upstairs when we were downstairs in the family room. He lost a bunch of weight though, and now it's much better. He still snores, but it's considerably quieter now.

[William Simon]

Insomnia and I are old friends. Lunesta, Ambien, Unisom, Trazodone, Valium, etc etc yadda yadda yadda sit in the cabinet, but nothing really works. I've even been tempted to try the Old Remedy (double shot of Jack Daniel's or Laphroaig followed by, ummm, "intense physical exertion") but those days are long gone.

I've just accepted the fact my sleep cycle is a mess, has been since childhood, and c'est la vie....:)

[janetlynn13]

Rebecca, Lucid dreaming sounds great, but I bet you have sleep apnea. It causes you to stop breathing and wake up with your next breath! (Have your husband pay attention to your breathing the next time he's up in the middle of the night and you're not.) Talk to one of those doctor friends of yours, and then go get a sleep test. Unfortunately, the solution my friends were given was to sleep attached to an air machine...

[ArkansasCyndi]

Laura - you said your husband falls asleep in 30 seconds? I swear...I tried to time my husband on how long it took for him to go to sleep, but I needed a sweep hand! He can close his eyes and be snoring before I get my pillow fluffed right!

Stuff to help you sleep - haven't found ANYTHING that doesn't give me a hangover in the morning. And frankly, I had enough hangovers from college to last me a lifetime! :)

[michele martinez]

Great topic, Rebecca! I have these same troubles, too, mainly with staying asleep. I'm often awake for hours in the middle of the night, especially if I'm stressing over something. My remedies -- a glass or two of wine and Tylenol pm, but they don't always work. A friend of mine who had bad insomnia keeps trying to get me to try some Chinese herbs he swears cured him forever, but who knows what's really in them?

[Laura (in PA)]

Yes, Cyndi, exactly. It's enough to make you want to smother him with said pillow.

[Harley Jane Kozak]

Yes, I'm one of those obnoxious people who can fall asleep in 30 seconds flat, sleep for 7 minutes and wake up ready to take on the world.

But I'd rather be lucid dreaming!

[Maryann]

Sleep? On my wish list. Every day. I'm not sure how OTC sleep aids work along with the Benicar and allergy medicine I take at night, and I refuse to pay for prescription sedatives. That leaves chamomile tea, or a boring book (the good ones keep me awake!). I did break down and buy one of those "Prelude to Sleep" CD's; you know, the ones with Delta waves underneath some New Age music. Kept me awake. The PM stuff like Tylenol PM also keeps me awake. I think I'm dyslexic in the sleep aid department :o(
However, I have learned I can function on five hours sleep. Any less and you don't want to be in the same city. If I get too much though (like on Sundays when I don't set the alarm), I'm groggy and tired all day.
One thing though...when I take Singulair(sp) for the allergies, I have really colorful dreams and very strange ones. I don't beat anyone up, but I run into all sorts of people from my past. And Barry Manilow. And Alan Rickman.
Here's a question though...do you ever dream something and then sometime later experience deja vu? Happens to me and makes me wonder if I astral-project or something.

[Maryann]

michele, check with an herbalist. I take oriental herbs as a preventative for colds. My acupuncturist checked interactions with my meds, and all is well. I also have a friend who goes to a Chinese physician for her peripheral neuropathy. She takes the herbs regularly and swears by them.
Oh... and Chuck sleeps in a nano-second. I'm serious. I can be talking to him and he's asleep. If he's really tired, he can fall asleep in mid-sentence (his not mine)!

[bea]

Ah, sleep. I'm convinced that sleep cycles change during our lives, and there's not much to be done about it. Another area where we have to muddle through and try to find what works.

I don't remember my dreams very often. The ones I do remember are entertaining and bewildering. There is nothing lucid about them.

[peach]

I recommend you see a pulmonologist about a sleep study ASAP. Health risks include heart attack and stroke, let alone the killing off of brain cells from oxygen deprivation. Memory loss is another nasty you will eventually deal with.

After 10 years of trying to get my mother to get tested, she was finally diagnosed during her hospital stay in May for knee replacement surgery. Her oxygen levels were so low she had to be put on an oxygen tank and a bipap machine. My mother's brother and sister were also tested this year and both were also diagnosed with sleep apnea. They all use the c-pap machine to sleep.

It is incredible the difference in my mother since she has been on this machine. More energy. She stays awake all day. No more nodding off where ever she is sitting. This included in the past such locations as the toilet, car, the middle of conversations, etc.

In the past the machines were huge from what I've been told by the med. equip. tech. who comes to my mother's. The new machines are small lightweight and very portable. My mother has had three types of mask and has chosen the full mask (covers both nose and mouth) as being the most comfortable for her. Individual preference. She has no problems falling asleep and staying asleep.

[ArkansasCyndi]

Maryann asked :do you ever dream something and then sometime later experience deja vu?

YES! Lately, more than usual. AND it can't be a mind trick...sometimes I remember the actual dream. The strongest one I had was in 2005. I was visiting an RWA chapter in Houston and I had been in that building before. It was the coke machine that triggered it but I could shut my eyes and "walk" through my dream.

And Laura - No jury of non-sleeping wives with snoring husband would ever convict you if you smothered husband with said pillow!

[Shannon]

My husband had sleep apnea and was in the process of adjusting to the c-pap machine, when things fell apart (mostly unrelated to the sleep apnea). The sleep lab tech said it could take 6 months to get used to the machine, but that it would be life-changing if he stuck it out. My husband agreed that it was helping him get better sleep.

As for me, I've had drugs cause to me have very vivid dreams about hurting people, which were unsettling enough that I stopped taking the medications.

[Margie]

Hi, it's Me, Margie.

Somebody asked about my dreams. I don't usually remember them. But then I don't really need to dream much - I just live it, honey.

[Kristine Coblitz]

I'm a chronic insomniac. Have been for years. I've also tried all the remedies, both chemical and natural. Nothing has worked. I've seen the sunrise more times than I want to count, so I share your pain. Combine the lack-of-sleep grumpiness with pregnancy hormones, and I'm not a pleasant person to be around. LOL!

People think it's fun to tell me how sleep deprived I'm going to be once the baby comes. I tell them that I've been practicing for years!

[Josh]

I sometimes take Ambien. I can't believe it, but the pharmacy filled a prescription for 90 of them! That is about a two-year supply for me.

The issue with Ambien is the sleep-activity thing that you've probably read about. Some people eat and don't remember it; Joe Kennedy drove in his sleep, apparently. My "problem" is more domestic: I do laundry. I will take an Ambien and go to bed thinking I have laundry to do, and when I wake up and go downstairs, six loads will have been brought downstairs, sorted, washed, dried (on the line or in the dryer), folded, and sorted into piles for each person. Sometimes the laundry has migrated back up the two or three flights of stairs from whence it came. This has happened more than once.

[Laura (in PA)]

Wow - I need to try Ambien. I don't get that much done when I'm awake!

That's really freaky, Josh. Do you wake up more tired than when you went to bed? I can't imagine doing all that makes you feel rested.

[Hester Sturrock]

Have ANY of you discussed SLEEP APNEA with your doctor? Amazingly 4 members of my family, who live in different parts of the country, all got diagnosed, within a year, with sleep apena. We all have CPAP machines and we all are not grumpy during the day because we all are getting a proper amount of rest at night. (well - not as grumpy. Best

[Buzz]

Lucid dreaming is exhausting.

Gregor Samsa

[janetlynn13]

Josh, Are you married? I'd take just about any man who did 6 loads of laundry a day while he was awake, much less asleep.

But seriously, how do you know you are really sleeping with Ambien, if you find you are doing stuff and not remembering it? That sounds like more of a nightmare than anything. How do you know if you did something horrible or not? Or even let the dog out all night???

[Buzz]

Lucid Dreaming will become passe`.

Edgar Cayce

[Pam aka SisterZip]

***a side note to Mary re:message from yesterday---would love to meet up with you for coffee. email sisterzip73@yahoo.com***

On occasion I have to take Xanax. (And it is only when I catch myself standing over Dear Hubby's sleeping form with a carving knife in my hand...)It really gives me great dreams. Not romantic or violent, just weird!