Compromising Photos

By Elaine Viets

Victorians dreaded the "compromising" photo. Lives and marriage prospects could be ruined if men or women were photographed with the wrong person, even if they had on their clothes.

The compromising photo was the key to a Sherlock Holmes story, "A Scandal in Bohemia." The King of Bohemia had been foolishly photographed with the scandalous Irene Adler. Irene had the photo, and the king feared this indiscretion could ruin his chances of marriage to an innocent princess.

Now we have a modern-day version of this Victorian dilemma. Vanessa Hudgens was photographed nude (gasp!) and the picture was plastered all over the Internet.

Vanessa’s representative told reporters, "This was a photo which was taken privately. It is a personal matter and it is unfortunate that this has become public."

It’s also proof that Vanessa is almost as innocent as the character she plays in Disney’s "High School Musical." She’s only 17, for heaven’s sake. Tell me you never did anything stupid at that age.

Vanessa is young enough to believe that the girls who sign her yearbook are her "best friends 4-ever" and boys who say they love her really mean it. She hasn’t acquired that protective layer of adult cynicism yet.

When I was a lot older than Vanessa, but not much smarter, I worked at a television station. The big scandal of the day was that a certain bigwig had accidentally returned a tape of her and her lover to the local video rental store. We never did figure out if this was an urban legend or a true story, because the reporter who broke the news wasn’t exactly Woodward or Bernstein.

But you can bet the so-called indiscretion was a hot topic all over the city.

"Jeez," I said at lunch one day, "who’d be dumb enough to photograph themselves having sex?"

There was a loud silence, and I realized everyone but me had done exactly that.

"My ex-wife made the return of all photos and videos I shot of her the condition for our divorce," one said. "She ran them through the dishwasher."

"Don’t you want to see what you looked like when you were young and beautiful?" asked another.

"I can’t imagine anything more depressing than viewing my young self when I’m a saggy, liver-spotted eighty," I said.

"You have to remember," said another, "the camera is our life."

And that is the truth. The camera is our life. There’s no escaping one, whether we argue on a street corner, flash at a Mardi Gras parade or get drunk at a party.

Nearly everyone has a camera. People carry them like Texans claim to carry guns.

More careers will be comprised as camera use in increases. How many ambitious people will be barred from running for public office because they toked in college, kissed someone of the same sex, or wore an outrageous outfit?

I am relieved that no photos exist of the pink hot pants and silver platforms I wore in the 1970s.

We all do stupid things, but nowadays, we’re more likely to wind up shot – with a camera.

And that can be more deadly than any bullet.

Comments

[Josh]

I think she's 18, thank god.

Things are different now with the Internet, and people really need to think twice. That photo was looked like a perfectly loving photo that someone in a realtionship would send someone else. The betrayal of its being plastered across the world for everyone to see must be devastating.

Ten or so years ago, before the age of the Internet, I had a client call me asking what to do. An ex-boyfriend had contacted her from prison and said that if she didn't pay him some unspecified amount, he would send some compromising photos of her to a men's magazine that published such things. The photos had existed, but she didn't know whether they still did. Her husband did not know about them and she did not want him to know. They were newlyweds.

I told her to go down to the newstand, buy one of the mags, and call them, telling her story. I said I thought they would require some sort of ID (not that I would know from actually looking at, um, reading one), but that they were not in the business of getting sued in lovers' quarrels.

A week later, she called me back. While dressed in a raincoat with a hat on, she had bought one, called them, and received assurances that they require two forms of ID. They also put her on a "watch" list of a sort, I think. She came away from the call assured that she would be okay.
And I came away from the event feeling good that I had done some good.

And I didn't charge her, because it wasn't really legal advice.

[Lynn]

Do you really think that will work now? If she had gone to the publisher these days, they would have held the front page for her photos.

[William Simon]

What amazes, and saddens me, is that anyone CARES about this sort of thing. We've all done stupid things, especially when we were younger, but since when is a private moment that becomes public something for people to dine out on? Where did this insatiable need for gossip come from? Why would anyone with half a brain care what this young lady has done in her private life? I just don't get it.

In terms of being photographed "in action" so to speak, I refer to Samuel Johnson when he was asked about the pursuit of women: "The expense is damnable, the position ridiculous, the pleasure fleeting...." (The ridiculous part is what I'm talking about!)

[Joyce Tremel]

I don't understand it either, William.

Could it be that some people are so insecure and so envious of these so-called celebrities, that they love to see them screw up? It makes them think, "I'm glad I'm not that stupid." Then again, scandal has always been with us. Maybe it just seems more prevalent now because of the internet, etc.

[SarahS]

For years, there's been a trend among teenage girls to email nude or semi-nude photos of themselves to boys in their clsses. When I first heard about this, I was struck by their boldness and, well, confidence. At that age the last thing I wanted was for some boy I knew to see me naked. Then again, had I known the effect that might have had on the boy in question.....

I can only think about these girls' futures. What if they decide to run for public office some day? What if they appear in a Disney production?

Then again, teenagers have never been known for thinking ahead, have they?

Good post, Elaine.

[Josh]

Are these sent unsolicited, or to boys they are in relationships with? I couldn't see you, Sarah, sending such a photo unsolicited to some guy you had a crush on (I don't know if there were any of those, as we've never discussed that.) or if you were in a relationship. You had too much self-respect. But you wouldn't expect your daughter to do that either, and who knows what would happen if she got into what she thought was a serious relationship with a boy? Teens have very limited control over themselves.

[Kathy Reschini Sweeney]

Great topic, Elaine.

In a story similar to the one Josh related - a friend runs a taxi company. One Saturday morning he got a call from a hysterical woman who wouldn't talk to anyone but him. Apparently, she'd had too much the night before, and thought she remembered someone taking photos in the cab of her in several compromising positions.

He checked with his drivers from the night before and nobody knew anything about it. At least that was before the internet.

I think many of us are profoundly grateful we are at least old enough that any photographic evidence from our past is not in electronic form. I mean, once you destroyed the negatives and the original, no more picture...

[Mary]

Amazing stuff! Shoot when I was a teen, we were self-conscious about being seen in our suits . . .and not bikinis either. We are lucky to have grown up when cameras were not so ubiquitous.
A storytelling friend just reported being questioned at a school when a student reported that he had taken the student's photo with his cell phone (photographing minors requires permission). Even though the only photos on his phone were of his two dogs, there were tense moments, finally resolved when the student admitted it was just one of his habitual "imaginative fabrications."

[Mary]

"Nearly everyone has a camera. People carry them like Texans claim to carry guns." Elaine, that's brilliant!
And Josh, your "save the day" advice makes you my hero!!

[ramona]

"Teens have very little control over themselves." You said it, Josh. I saw one of my book group kids yesterday, in a public place, from afar. But not too far. Please let her have had a lazy summer, because otherwise that weight gain means....

How about the idiot kids (and not just kids) who video themselves and their friends smoking dope, and worse, and then post their cinematic masterpieces on YouTube?

Nice post, Elaine.

[michele martinez]

Great topic, Elaine!

I've heard that stuff about teenaged girls sending nudie pics of themselves to boys, too, Sarah, and then the boys forwarding them to everyone they know. This isn't just about the cameras, it's about the pornification of America. Teenagers are watching a lot of internet porn, and it's changed the way they interact and what they're willing to do. I just read "Restless Virgins" which is about a sex scandal at Milton Academy (non-fiction). The gist was that even nice girls are doing gang bangs,having sex in front of other people -- things that were at the extremes when we were younger if they happened at all. The parameters have shifted. Right after I read that, I watched the HBO documentary about the making of "Deep Throat" and thought, hmm,positive development for the human race? Not!

[Harley]

My God, it strikes me as nothing short of miraculous that after a youth spent in show biz and under the influence of a fair amount of drugs and a whole lotta wacky boyfriends, I have no nude photos in my past.

(Or wait -- do I, Josh?)

Of course, I'm not dead yet. I could yet become some year's Scandal Queen of AARP.

[Maryann]

Chuck took a picture of me sleeping once...I told him if he ever showed it to anyone I'd REALLY starch his underwear( this was way back in the day)! Of course, I grew up in the modest fifties and early sixties...no one showed anything back then (unless...gasp...she was pregnant and even that could be disguised by poodle skirts and overblouses. I think one girl actually went into labor during math class, or so I heard)
I think (and this is just my humble opinion) that scandal endures because we've gotten used to so much that it takes something like Britney's meltdown or a Disney teen's risque pics to spark attention. Sad. And even more sad, we can say "gee, I'd never let that happen to me".

[Maryann]

Michele, there was a documentary about Deep Throat?

[Josh]

Harley,

My research showed that there was a claim of some partial nudity, showing some percentage of a breast from the side or something like that. It would have cost $20 or $30 for further research, and, sorry to say, it just wasn't worth following up. I'm not sure what would have been worth $20 or $30, but that certainly wasn't--even if I would have had the whole cornucopia of Hollywood actresses in some stage or another of undress.

[Pam aka SisterZip]

Try as I might, I haven't been able to convince my daughter that oral sex is actual sex. (Thanks, WJC) But even she is horrified by all of the women who agree to have video of themselves during sex. She is almost 23 and in some ways wiser than her years.

[michele martinez]

Yeah, it's on HBO all the time right now.

[Elaine Viets]

"The pornification of America." Terrific phrase, Michele. And Josh, you really did help that poor woman. Hats off (but that's all) to you.
Elaine

[Maryann]

Not quite enought to make me get HBO, but it'll be out on DVD soon I suppose. :o)

[Kerry, the Martial Tart]

This is very scary stuff. My eldest niece has/had the misfortune to have picked a very poor "best friend", a young girl with no self-esteem who is All About The Boys. My niece and her friend were messing around taking pictures of one another's abs with their phones, and "best friend" showed them (without my niece's permission) to some boys in one of her classes. Thank heavens she never actually sent them anywhere (as far as we know), and that no faces were involved. It was a very near thing, though.

In this case, we had one kid having some relatively innocent fun, and another with horrifically bad judgement (and some very messed-up priorities). Scary, scary, scary. I'm so glad my daughter is older!

[William Simon]

Once again, I am forced to ask the age-old question, "Where were these girls when *I* was 16?!?!?"

[Elaine Viets]

Once again, I am forced to ask the age-old question, "Where were these girls when *I* was 16?!?!?"

Er, William, when my husband asks that question I remind him that the girls weren't born yet.
Elaine

[Josh]

William, I have been asking the same question since I posted six hours ago.

[Marcia in OK]

Pam aka Sister Zip said: Try as I might, I haven't been able to convince my daughter that oral sex is actual sex.

This is such a problem now with teenagers (middle schoolers and High schoolers). How can actions that can lead to sexually transmitted diseases NOT be actual sex?

I teach a 15 week Nurturing Parenting education class to family at risk of Child Abuse & Neglect. Most have children in Foster care. We spend a couple of those weeks talking about how to talk to your kids about sex/alcohol/other drugs. The parents are always freaked when I start spouting my statistics and sharing related stories about how teenagers don't think of oral sex as SEX. From the teens perspective if it can't end in pregnancy - NOTHING to worry about.

I don't have all the answers, but I'm pretty sure we need more discussion and education. Avoiding pregnancy is NOT the only issue our kids face these days.

Thanks for opening the discussion Elaine.

[William Simon]

Touche, Elaine! Touche, indeed...:)

I'll tell you what bothers me more than this, though. Movies like SAW, HOSTEL, TURISTAS, etc, being made in the first place, then coming out "unrated and unedited" on DVD. The idea of some creatures watching these movies in the dark scares me badly....