Back to You, Jennifer!

by Nancy Martin

Local television news is perhaps the last bastion of the toupee. Where else can you see a group of forty-something men with extremely high foreheads sporting thick, lustrous heads of hair that look suspiciously like Captain Kirk's 'do back in 1968?

The upside of the toupee-wearing weathermen is that at least they shave. (Let's take a poll among the ladies of TLC. Do you like the unkepmt, I-shaved-last-week-so-what's-your-beef look?  If my husband doesn't shave, there's no way he's getting any, y'know?)

I will admit that local newscasters are well groomed. But save me, please, from their inane banter, their Chicken Little promos (The sky is falling! Details at noon!) and the baby-voiced girls we're supposed to take seriously as they chirp the Top Stories. (Are all those Jennifers so young they've never seen a Lauren Bacall movie??)

Thank heaven my local newspaper has started posting the breaking news on their website, because I have stopped tuning in to the noon news on Channel 4 in the hope of learning what's going on in our world. At least the newspaper understands what real news is. For television people, it seems every fender bender in the city brings at least two helicopters to record the carnage. If there's a weeping bystander--great!  And if they're lucky, there's blood on the pavement and they've got their lead story for the next three days unless an NFL player punches somebody in a nightclub.

Earlier this week, our local yokels broke into the Today Show (okay, not exactly a program that takes on the mantle of Walter Cronkite, but still) to cover . . . a traffic jam for an hour. From the glitter of adrenaline in the eyes of the "anchorwoman" you might have supposed she was reporting Russian troops landing downtown and taking hostages among the baristas at Starbucks. But hey--the people actually in the traffic jam were in their cars, not at home watching there televisions, so why bother interrupting the Today Show's in-depth interview with Joey Fatone?  Oh. Wait a minute. Nevermind.

On my book tour last spring, a station in a mid-sized city I won't mention (for concern I might embarrass one of our regulars) promo-ed a latenight broadcast by putting a badly lighted, peppy and cheerful young woman on the screen saying, "Could a knife-wielding killer be hiding in your neighborhood? Tune in at eleven!"  (Do you suppose that particular Jennifer looked so cheerful because her forehead was entirely motionless? Botoxed at 25!)

This year's fall TV season brings a comedy that tills the fertile soil of local news stations. Back To You stars Kelsey Grammar, and perhaps because it's set here in Pittsburgh, my husband and I watched the pilot. The show recycles an old joke, but it's a good one. The executive producer, Steve Levitan said it best:  "What's so funny about local news is there's this great narcissism pretending to be altruism."

Despite my questionable taste in sitcoms, I am a firm believer in the idea that we need the four branches of government to keep democracy afloat--the fourth branch being journalists who keep everyone else honest. Where would our nation be if Woodward and Bernstein (and Ben Bradlee and Katherine Graham) hadn't done their job so well?

Have you been watching the Ken Burns WWII series this week?  Would our nation have responded the same way if the footage we're seeing now had been widely shown at the time?  Or what if the only coverage of the current war came to us via such sources as Fox News? (Tangent: Does Elizabeth Hasselbeck's contribution to The View count as news? Do people listen to what she says because she's a pretty face? And if so, have you ever been so proud of Barry Manilow before?)  Do we get the best unbiased television news from the BBC these days? Newspapers have always served as our national conscience. But if they're dying because of the easer, cheaper ways people get their news now--electronically--will we lose more than just the jobs of real journalists?

There are good reporters on TV, of course. I still lament the loss of Bob Schieffer in the anchor's chair at CBS. (Although he still does a great job in Washington.) But an item popped up on my radar screen this week about his predecessor.  Dan Rather is suing CBS. Would Dan still have his job if his story about the president's serivce in the National Guard came out now? Now that public opinion has turned against Mr. Bush? I wonder. Timing is all.

Funny how we used to see movies about reporters. There are still a few good series mystery novels about reporters, but pretty much we're in an era of lawyers and cops, aren't we?  Why is that, I wonder?

We all need multiple sources of news--balanced coverage so every citizen can use his or her reasoning skills to decide what's really happening in the world.  (Was George Clooney the victim of a careless driver, or was he a naught boy who passed on the right?) We need the "public press" more than ever these days, don't you think?

Let's help keep democracy chugging along today. Buy a newspaper.  One advantage is that we don't have to see the reporters wearing toupees.

Comments

[Cate]

Local news in these parts is from a town 3 hours drive away. Obviously worthless on a local level. The newspaper? The editors actually let a headline go through(front page, mind you) with something like, "This Better THEN That," and their facts are generally questionable. Even sports scores can't be trusted, because they are different in their teasers on the front page than in the body of the paper. Worthless.

My husband is addicted to FoxNews, even after the morning when their anchor woman was wearing a bikini. That was a hard-hitting news day, I'm sure.

I gave up on TV news. I cruise the online varieties of the big American stations for my headlines, but I've been watching the BBC World News on TV. It is the best news in America, now, I think. But then again, I'm getting to the point where I watch BBC America more than any other channel and was asked in an email one day if I was European. Maybe I need to start watching some good US TV again. Is there such a thing?

[sarahS]

I LOVE the BBC....

[Rocco]

Ciao, Bellas!

A shout-out to Fanilows! No wonder I just adore this blog.

Now - let's talk about toupees. There is simply *no* reason for bad hair on camera. None. Nada. The producers should be taken out and shaved with a rusty razor.

Bald can be beautiful, but beyond bald, there are very fine hair pieces - and a good stylist can make them look natural. Yes, a stylist is required, my lambs - one cannot just get double-faced tape and a rug and call it a 'do. Please. I mean, that is like a surgeon operating on himself with no decent instruments. It should be illegal.

[ramona]

Okay, Sarah, you had a good personal excuse to leave your newspaper. But how about a little respect for those who've stuck with it, despite the lousy pay, unreasonable expectations and demanding hours, because they believe the work is important and worthwhile? I don't know a print journalist who is in it for the money, or the fame, or the glamour, or the respect, because none of that is there. As foolish as it sounds, it's always the idealism.

It bugs me when an entire profession is trashed, but I'm too close to this, so I'm going to do a Cinema Dave now.

[sarahS]

Geesh, Ramona. I didn't think I was trashing the reporters who work in the business. All my life I put up with people first telling me that my father sucked and then telling me that I sucked.

I think you're intelligent enough to know that when we're talking about what's going on with corporate journalism, we're talking about the word from on high. And I never would have believed if it hadn't happened to me and a story I tried to get thru about the Catholic Church. That was before the sex scandals. And if it had run - as it should have - I wouldn't be here today.

Of course we have respect for those who've stuck with it. Right, Karen?

[Kiaduran]

Oh, heavens, where to start...

Our local TV news is pathetic - consistently opening with news from cities not our own, scare lead-ins, films run that don't match the reporting - amazing lack of ability. Always end up watching an out of town stations to find out what the heck is happening here.

And, the local paper was bought several years ago by a woman who got her billions via divorce. She has managed to destroy the paper by firing or forcing out dozens of reporters and staff for such nefarious "wrong doings" as including addresses in articles or quoting our mayor in stories about our local government. The paper is currently involved in lawsuits against former staff, and anyone who says something about her she doesn't like; the national labor board is after her due to the firings/resignations and the vote to unionize and her refusal to obey the results of that vote. She also went after local businesses that displayed signs in their windows that asked her, nicely, to obey the law.

Among her more interesting edicts is that articles cannot include addresses, mention of the mayor (unless preapproved by her or her boyfriend), and all people mentioned in the articles must be addressed by "Mr", "Mrs" or "Miss" - love to read a story about Mr Hitler or Mr Dahlmer. Her antics have cost the paper thousands of subscribers, huge staff turn over, and has been featured in papers across the country on how not to run a newspaper. We are sooooo proud...

I will probably now be sued. Oy!!!

[Becki]

I buy all print media - books, mags and newspapers to support our democracy and to ensure their continued "life".

Not sure if our country would rally the way they did in WWII. Think our characters are less moral and weaker.

And since WHEN do we applaud a geriatric crooner of pop pap as a political pundit????????????????

Barry was WRONG!!! Just as wrong as a conservative guest would be if they asked Joy to be excused for a day. The View handled it correctly. A guest doesnt have get to pick and choose!

Note Susan Sarandon who probably despised Liz but was civil and "listened" to her comments before giving her own. THAT is how you do it.

[Josh]

Ramona, I just read the obit again, and they DID say that a "Rev. James T. Kirk, Jr." is involved. Were you referring to that, or was it just kismet?

[Kerry, the Martial Tart]

I don't trash journalists, dear crazy blog sister Ramona! I know that there are lots of folks out there doing the best they can to get it right -- hell, I'm in the local minority who don't even trash the local forecasters who have the sense to admit that they have no clue whether we're getting the biggest storm of the season or another week of drought (we're in a sort of weather Bermuda Triangle here, where a small child blowing out a candle can shift entire frontal boundaries). I reserve my anger, as Sarah said, for the folks who decide what I do and don't need to know -- and who, more often than not, get it woefully wrong.

Oh -- and OK, Colin Firth can leave off the shaving for a day, but that's about it.

[ramona]

OMG, Josh, I just checked and Captain Kirk was mentioned! I had NOT read it before, I was kidding around....Do you hear the Twilight Zone music, too???

[Josh]

According to the Diocese website, there really is a James T. Kirk, Jr. at that parish.

[Kristine Coblitz]

Maybe I'm being too optimistic, but I still have hope for the news industry. It's in trouble but not a lost cause yet. There are a few reporters out there who have my complete respect for continuing to fight the good fight. I wish I could be one of them, but I just don't have it in me. I still work in the field, just in the technical areas (engineering trade magazines) instead.

[Maryann Mercer]

Ah, but Becki, wrong or right,Barry had the right to ask, and the right to refuse, which is what choice is about. And I applaud Susan Sarandon for her tact and restraint, but she's been vocal about her feelings for many years and has taught herself to count to ten. I'd say Barry did what he did for a friend. And he had that right. Just as the program had the right to say, nope. Can't do it.If they were two private citizens, that would have been that.
To clarify why I dropped my paper (if anyone cares), I have to tell you that we once had two papers, two sides of the coin, complete coverage boundary to boundary. Then one managed to undercut the other salarywise and benefitwise and the smaller one went under. Our news is both local and national but told with the conservative slant of the publisher. I have an issue with one-sided coverage of anything, so I take my chances with occasional visits to CNN and the Sunday paper. Our "local" paper now has control of most of the small towns around here as well.
I respect the reporters by the way.I'm just not sure we get their best stories.)On the lighter side, we do have a perky weather-girl and a co-anchor who isn't afraid to get acupunctured on TV (in his shorts).

[Cheryl]

As proof of the rock that I live under, I have no idea what Barry Manilow did on the View.

I grew up in a home where we read the newspaper and always thought that I would. Then I moved from land of the The Washington Post to the St. Louis Post Dispatch. What a disgrace and disappointment. The majority of the stories were from wire sources, which almost seems like phoning it in, literally. The local stories were just embarasing. From what I understand back in the days of being a 2 paper town, it was a good paper.

So now it is all internet and how happy am I that Times Select is now free. And can't forget Jon Stewart and The Daily Show.

There was a joke on Night Court years ago where they referred to a toupee as the "Shatner Turbo 5000" model, which is now part of the family lexicon.

At one of my husband's class reunions the master of ceremonies was a classmate that was working as an anchorwoman on the local tv news. Aside from not having the good sense to wear a slip while wearing a white dress, big granny undies and being back lit (twas not pretty), she was stumped when the game of "who came the farthest" was down to the last 2 competitors. One came from Hawaii and the other came from Abu Dhabi. Even after the guy that came in from Abu Dhabi said that he traveled for 2 days to make it to the reunion, she still chirped, "so who came the farthest?". Painful.

[Cate]

Okay, gotta comment re: Barry.

I adore Barry Manilow. (I also adore Freddie Mercury, but that just speaks to how odd I am.) I think he has the right not to go on a show if he doesn't want to. I also think he has the right to shut the heck up about it! I am getting sick and tired of every "celebrity" out there thinking they can use their status to spout off on TV or on the stage. It would be like me going to work and preaching my views ad nauseum. Just plain tacky! And while they have a right to speak, I also have a right to stop buying their stuff.

Face it, though. The View is all about getting things stirred up. I really do wonder how much of that show is real and how much is fabrication. And yes, I've lost a lot of respect for Barry Manilow over his public comments about this. Even if Elizabeth Whats-her-Name is a titch backwards.

[Nancy Martin]

I once read a magazine article about a company that matches up celebrities with causes they might like to represent. Some are paid, some work on behalf of--say, Darfur on their own nickle, just to do something good for the world. (One example is the Josh guy from West Wing--what's his name??--who's a spokesperson for women's breast cancer because of a family member's success in fighting the disease.) But the article made it pretty clear that a lot of celebs simply used the service to polish up their public image. It would make a great blog, except I have no idea where that article was originally. I'll have to scout around. Carry on.

[Nancy Martin]

Which is not to say Barry Manilow was paid to take a stand against Ms. Hasselbeck. (Sorry, Cate, I think he had every right to decline to appear with her.)

We, of course, wouldn't dream of stirring up things as they do on The View.

[Cate]

LOL Nancy. No worries there, I don't think. There is a decided difference between stimulating discussion and 'getting into it' for publicity. There's no "I'm right, you're wrong" attitude here, whereas Barbra's gals just like to bicker for ratings. It's one step above naked mud-wrestling, I think.

[ramona]

Just to show there are no hard feeling, let me just say, or rather, ask:

Is it just me, or is there as much love on this board for Barry Manilow as there is for Blond Bond?

And there really is a Reverend Captain Kirk?

I think I'm going to hide under my bed until the world gets back to normal.

[Kathy Reschini Sweeney]

Another great discussion.

Yes, Ramona, Fanilows are a force to be reckoned with. I had no idea until there was an episode of Will & Grace about it, and I mentioned it at a party. People came out of the woodwork and admitted to being major fans.

And the new '70s collection is terrific. Helps that several cuts are his.

[Cassie]

Cate, referring to "The View" as "one step above naked mud wrestling" hits the nail on the head!! I love it!

[Kerry, the Martial Tart]

Kathy:
What's the 70's collection called? And e-mail me (pleeeeeeeease) -- I have a music project that could certainly benefit from your assistance . . .

[Kathy Gillen/ lessons from the laundry]

The anchor woman on the local news scare me. The two I watch not only seem to be botoxed, but perpetually in the land of the 80's throw-back suits. I swore I saw shoulder pads last week! Maybe all the money goes to facial enhancements. I like getting my headlines on-line.

[Katherine C.]

Wow Sarah — you got $26,000?!?! Lucky girl. I work for a small, locally-owned paper (which may not last much longer, the owner died last spring and the family is doing legal bickering as whether or not to sell) in mid-MO, and make less than $25,000 after almost three years. Ah, the paycheck-to-paycheck life. Around here, the broadcast media is somewhat of a joke because often their coverage — especially of smaller counties in their coverage area, such as ours — generally come straight from the local papers. Heaven forbid they actually put any effort into finding their own ideas, sources, etc. — some of them even go so far as to pretty much blatantly steal the lead, although some stations are getting better ... Our paper prides itself on providing local coverage. With a staff of four, now down to two (we haven't found replacements yet, makes life SO much fun) it's sometimes hard to do, but our goal is to always make at least the front and back pages all local stuff. Because we're so small, pretty much anything that happens outside the county, aka regional, state and national news, comes from the AP. I think we do a good job, but I may be a wee bit biased. That said, I would agree that "corporate journalism" is hurting our profession as a whole, and unfortunately, it just keeps spreading. Our paper may not last as is much longer because we're just not generating enough revenue, and most of our late owner's heirs just want to get rid of us and the two other papers they own in the state. So I echo Nancy — support your local papers, because they're your friend. Usually.
As for the BBC — I've recently become addicted to it when I get home late at night, and although I haven't caught the news on there yet, I've heard nothing but good things. And I watched the first night of War on PBS — it was great. I've missed the rest of them because I haven't been home, but I plan on finding them all at some point. And now, as I have once again written a short novel, I'll shut up. Just remember, print news — at least local print news — is good, and most if not all brodcast journalists have sold their souls to Satan. No, really.

[Kathy Reschini Sweeney]

It's called "The Greatest Songs of the 70s" - there is a bonus one with a second CD that has acoustic versions - but I just got it and haven't listened to the second CD, so I don't know if it's worth it or not..

Kerry - just e-mailed you. LOVE the music projects. Thinking of doing a Halloween CD this year.