Back to You, Jennifer!

by Nancy Martin

Local television news is perhaps the last bastion of the toupee. Where else can you see a group of forty-something men with extremely high foreheads sporting thick, lustrous heads of hair that look suspiciously like Captain Kirk's 'do back in 1968?

The upside of the toupee-wearing weathermen is that at least they shave. (Let's take a poll among the ladies of TLC. Do you like the unkepmt, I-shaved-last-week-so-what's-your-beef look?  If my husband doesn't shave, there's no way he's getting any, y'know?)

I will admit that local newscasters are well groomed. But save me, please, from their inane banter, their Chicken Little promos (The sky is falling! Details at noon!) and the baby-voiced girls we're supposed to take seriously as they chirp the Top Stories. (Are all those Jennifers so young they've never seen a Lauren Bacall movie??)

Thank heaven my local newspaper has started posting the breaking news on their website, because I have stopped tuning in to the noon news on Channel 4 in the hope of learning what's going on in our world. At least the newspaper understands what real news is. For television people, it seems every fender bender in the city brings at least two helicopters to record the carnage. If there's a weeping bystander--great!  And if they're lucky, there's blood on the pavement and they've got their lead story for the next three days unless an NFL player punches somebody in a nightclub.

Earlier this week, our local yokels broke into the Today Show (okay, not exactly a program that takes on the mantle of Walter Cronkite, but still) to cover . . . a traffic jam for an hour. From the glitter of adrenaline in the eyes of the "anchorwoman" you might have supposed she was reporting Russian troops landing downtown and taking hostages among the baristas at Starbucks. But hey--the people actually in the traffic jam were in their cars, not at home watching there televisions, so why bother interrupting the Today Show's in-depth interview with Joey Fatone?  Oh. Wait a minute. Nevermind.

On my book tour last spring, a station in a mid-sized city I won't mention (for concern I might embarrass one of our regulars) promo-ed a latenight broadcast by putting a badly lighted, peppy and cheerful young woman on the screen saying, "Could a knife-wielding killer be hiding in your neighborhood? Tune in at eleven!"  (Do you suppose that particular Jennifer looked so cheerful because her forehead was entirely motionless? Botoxed at 25!)

This year's fall TV season brings a comedy that tills the fertile soil of local news stations. Back To You stars Kelsey Grammar, and perhaps because it's set here in Pittsburgh, my husband and I watched the pilot. The show recycles an old joke, but it's a good one. The executive producer, Steve Levitan said it best:  "What's so funny about local news is there's this great narcissism pretending to be altruism."

Despite my questionable taste in sitcoms, I am a firm believer in the idea that we need the four branches of government to keep democracy afloat--the fourth branch being journalists who keep everyone else honest. Where would our nation be if Woodward and Bernstein (and Ben Bradlee and Katherine Graham) hadn't done their job so well?

Have you been watching the Ken Burns WWII series this week?  Would our nation have responded the same way if the footage we're seeing now had been widely shown at the time?  Or what if the only coverage of the current war came to us via such sources as Fox News? (Tangent: Does Elizabeth Hasselbeck's contribution to The View count as news? Do people listen to what she says because she's a pretty face? And if so, have you ever been so proud of Barry Manilow before?)  Do we get the best unbiased television news from the BBC these days? Newspapers have always served as our national conscience. But if they're dying because of the easer, cheaper ways people get their news now--electronically--will we lose more than just the jobs of real journalists?

There are good reporters on TV, of course. I still lament the loss of Bob Schieffer in the anchor's chair at CBS. (Although he still does a great job in Washington.) But an item popped up on my radar screen this week about his predecessor.  Dan Rather is suing CBS. Would Dan still have his job if his story about the president's serivce in the National Guard came out now? Now that public opinion has turned against Mr. Bush? I wonder. Timing is all.

Funny how we used to see movies about reporters. There are still a few good series mystery novels about reporters, but pretty much we're in an era of lawyers and cops, aren't we?  Why is that, I wonder?

We all need multiple sources of news--balanced coverage so every citizen can use his or her reasoning skills to decide what's really happening in the world.  (Was George Clooney the victim of a careless driver, or was he a naught boy who passed on the right?) We need the "public press" more than ever these days, don't you think?

Let's help keep democracy chugging along today. Buy a newspaper.  One advantage is that we don't have to see the reporters wearing toupees.

Comments

[Susan]

I stopped watching local news a long time ago. I blame much of the fear in our society on their pumped up, puffed up, breathless coverage that's packaged in such a way as to insinuate that we ought all to be in constant panic because we're all about to be shot/robbed/raped/pillaged/caught in a giant snowstorm any minute. Forget thoughtful analysis. It's all about the ratings and if you want to get the ratings, you have got to scare the beejesus out of people so they won't dare touch that dial. Cable news is only a little better, and I've essentially given up on that as well (with the exception of the brilliantly brave KO on MSNBC). Better to stick to the local paper for local news and the WaPo and NYT for national/international news. The WSJ is also pretty good (if you avoid the editorial section), although I guess under its new ownership, I'll have to take it off the list as well.

[ramona]

I was going to gag-order myself on this topic, but what the hey. Although online rules the news in my house, I still love Sunday mornings with me, my coffee and the fat Sunday edition spread all over the dining room table. Anyone who disturbs me is in for it.

About TV news: I fear we are in trouble as a nation when Anderson "Mr. Bumbleymouth" Cooper has his own, nightly, hour-long show to re-explain the days events for us. Just saying.

As for the teasers, I suspect reporters hate writing them, just as copy editors hate writing headlines--and writers hate writing the one-sentence synopsis--so they make them as out-there as possible. It's all buzz-phrasing. "Knife-wielding maniac" is perfect to pull in the viewers.

On the same topic, I do a morning exercise program on TV. During the commercial break, (when the trainer instructs you to do two more sets of pulse squats but you really sneak off to eat chocolate cake), he always reappears with a teaser, and it's always on the same, buzz-phrasy subject: "Find out what to eat to lose your belly fat!" "Want to know the stars' secret to losing belly fat?" It annoys me, because we all know all know that the only way to lose belly fat is to employ a knife-wielding maniac.

[Rebecca the Bookseller]

Oh my. Did Captain Kirk wear a toupee?

We stopped watching local news (except for sports) years ago. The kids even joke about it: "Breaking news: cat up a tree! Details at 6." Or "The best-selling soap in America can kill you on contact. Tune in next week for this special expose." Huh? Jerry Seinfeld did a great send-up on SNL several years ago.

I get my news online - from newspapers and other sites. We pay for the Times online - does that count, Nancy?

And I love Keith Olbermann, but he needs to lay off the Bill O'Reilly stuff. OK, the guy is an asshole. We know. Although, I think Bill may have pulled a Don Imus with this latest idiocy.

[Laura (in PA)]

We subscribe to the Philadelphia Inquirer, and I, too, love the Sunday morning paper and coffee ritual.

I took a journalism class when I was (finally) getting my degree a few years ago. Our instructor was married to a producer for the local news station and brought him into class to talk to us. He admitted that TV news concentrated on things they could get a picture of, because that was their medium over words. He didn't go so far as to say they pick stupid stories because that's what they got on camera, but it's in the back of my mind whenever I watch TV news. I watch the local news in the morning but get most of my info from the newspaper and online news sources. I think they all have their place.

My favorite is the winter, when the local weatherman gets positively orgasmic right on the air about the possibility of snow. Especially after having lived most of my life in snow country, watching this entire area panic about a few inches is amusing. Until I have to get on the roads with them. Is there some rule in PA that you have to wait until the snow is finished falling before you plow? Are the plows not allowed to get dirty?

I watched "Back To You" as well. Looks so far like it might be a good one.

[Joyce Tremel]

My problem with our local Pittsburgh news stations, especially one that will remain nameless, is that they make up some of their news. If anyone in Pittsburgh remembers the reports of women being raped in the North Hills several years ago--it was all fabricated news. No rapes occurred.

There are only 2 reliable TV news reporters in town. They are the only ones our police department will deal with now.

I have more respect for the newspapers, although since when are sports front page news?

I've been loving the WWII program. I'm amazed that there's so much I'd never heard about before.

[ramona]

Hey, Laura, were you watching a couple of years ago when one station tried to NAME the blizzards?? It's tough to get too worried when Blizzard Bob is headed your way.

[Nancy Martin]

But Ramona, Anderson is so cute! Didn't you see him in GQ?

And I think naming blizzards is a darling idea. But they need spring-like names, don't you think? Like Pansy. Or Petunia.

[SarahS]

As a former reporter who grew up with a Pulitzer-Prize winning editor as a father, I can tell you that we're in serious trouble journalism wise. The only hope was - and still is - the local, independently owned newspaper. But that is a dying breed. And, no, something owned by Gannett does not count.

I am no conspiracy theorist, but I think Rather's right: we are solidly in the age of corporate journalism. Lucrative advertising dollars are too few and far between to resist. And the White House has structured it so that unless you kowtow to their party line, your sources will be shut down. Personally, I think the daily briefing should be abolished. Like Seymour Hersh (one of the greats) said, anyone who goes to those is a hack.

Don't even talk to me about Judith Miller.

What can we do?

Buy your local independently owned newspaper, eschew TV news with its obsession over house fires and tune into some interesting stuff that's happening on the web or radio. Democracy Now! is a great one.

It's a sore point with me, maybe you can tell.

[Kathy Reschini Sweeney]

Joyce - are you serious? Geez. And I want to know which two I can trust. Although the chance of me watching local news is nearly zero.

When we get settled in time (which is kind of rare) we try to watch Jim Lehrer on PBS. Otherwise, it's Keith on MSNBC and online news.

Our local papers - and I'm not even sure they both count - are pretty dismal. We still get the Post-Gazette (delivered in the morning), but the only thing I look at are the sports headlines and the cultural events.

And is it me, or are book reviews in all print media an endangered species?

[ramona]

Sure, Nancy. In six months, when your windows are rattling and snow is blowing sideways across your yard, I'll be asking, "How are you liking Petunia now?"

I do love it when Anderson Cooper, or any other newscaster, tries to stand up in hurricane force winds. There is just no way to maintain any dignity.

[NancyJoy]

I watch local news but have lower standards for both style and substance. The worst toupees here are on my accountant... and my congresswoman, who always looks as though she is sporting that morning's roadkill.

I'm still a daily newspaper reader. Since the local was sold from the Pulliam empire (Dan Quayle's wife) to the Gannett empire, only half the editorials turn my stomach. I also check BBC news online 1-2x/week, for a bit of perspective.

"Back to You" seemed a little too full of slapstick and charicatures, but I'll watch another episode or two before a final verdict. I'm crazy for Kelsey; I'd watch him eat cereal. Patricia Heaton is an uber-conservative but a good actress. And she doesn't sound like a chipmunk being Tasered, like Hasselbeck.

Ken Burns' series, "The War," is both enlightening and horrifiying, especially seeing how mistakes cost thousands of lives, and how generals -- one in particular -- turned tail and ran, leaving their soldiers to certain slaughter. I wonder... in 20 years or more, what will the Iraq war's version of such a documentary be ?

[Kerry, the Martial Tart]

OK, first, I hate the unkempt look. I mean, it has to take as much work as shaving, right? To clip the beard to the 3-day stage? So either shave the stupid thing, or let it grow. Sheesh.

News? I give up. I liked our local newspaper, but we had a falling-out over their perpetration of regional stereotypes that was so offensive as to make me cancel my subscription. Local TV? Fuggedabout it. (Funny story: my 20-something daughter recently joined a local kickball team. Yes, kickball -- just like we played in elementary school, only with beer. Her first game was against the championship team, headed by none other than the male half of the anchor team of our biggest local news channel. Her riff on the seriousness with which they pursued their victory had me rolling on the floor. Now I *really* can't watch him!)

I bounce around among on-line sources and do the best I can by going for variety. It's really hard, though . . .

[Josh]

"Living is easy with eyes closed. Misunderstanding all you see."

I could light the last page of my local paper on fire and I would be done reading it before my hands got burned. Sorry Ramona. We also subscribe to the Sunday Inquirer, and that's worth the buck.

But what burned me up yesterday was an eight-column-inch obituary, PHOTO INCLUDED (!) of a baby that was stillborn this week or last. The obit listed surviving "family and friends." What friends? I realize that it is a great loss, I know I am being a bit judgmental here, and maybe it is because I am coming down with a cold and it is the end of quarter, but that seems like the height of narcissism, having a long obit for someone who never was even alive, in the "I remember Johnny in the "he was my brother, pre-school, high-school, the Army, in the PTA or Kiwanis, playing golf or kick ball" obituary sense.

[NancyJoy]

P.S. How many cities HAVE independently owned newspapers? Mine hasn't for almost 20 years...

[Josh]

It could also be because I am a jerk. That is most likely.

[ramona]

Josh, FYI, families now write their own obits. If you want to say Captain Kirk is deeply in mourning for your loss, no one can stop you.

[Laura (in PA)]

Our local newspaper is dismal as well (although it is touted as "Pulitzer Prize-Winning" from a winning photo about 30 years ago). We subscribed for a while, but I lost interest upon seeing the front-page story about some woman's rosebushes being vandalized. I did used to read it online and search for items about my particular area or school district, but they changed their website so I can no longer do that, I assume because they want me to pay for such tidbits.

Ramona - I do indeed remember. Too funny! Now I have to think up names for the upcoming season's Nor'Easters and send them in to my manic weatherman. You can always tell when he's worked up - his bowtie is askew. ;)

[Karen Olson]

I agree with Sarah about journalism being in serious trouble. As a 20 year print journalist, I left the business last year and never looked back. It truly is the age of corporate journalism. We had more sacred cows running around the newsroom than you could shake a stick at. My husband at one point had a great story about a local realtor that would've rocked the entire region since the realtor was very prominent. The story never got into the paper.

I write a series with a reporter protagonist, but I've been trying to keep the fictional newspaper where she works in a place newspapers were about five or six years ago. Because if I were to write about what's really going on right now, it would be far too depressing and not funny at all.

[Kristine Coblitz]

I majored in journalism in college, but I decided before I even graduated that I would never work as a reporter, especially a TV reporter--and not just because I would have to wear make-up all the time. I am a news junkie, but sometimes what I see on the news makes me ashamed of the industry. I agree that the journalism integrity of this country is in trouble and getting worse every day.

I don't watch local news unless I need to catch the weather or if a tornado is about to hit the city. I get all my news from online sources.

[michele martinez]

Ooh, great topic.

For so many years I lived in New York, where the local news was not local. The news on the affiliates was extremely high-quality in every sense. The stories were big and the reporters were talented and serious. Some of the best coverage I've ever seen is on New York One, which is the local 24-hour cable news station. It was a cross between CSpan and CNN, with totally unphotogenic, intelligent reporters. Plus, I love Chuck Scarborough. I used to pass him walking on Park Avenue and he always said hi.

Now I have truly local news. The reporters are unphotogenic without being smart. But I'm finding it sort of adorable. The concerns are *very* local.

As for print journalism, I agree it's dying, and that's a tragedy. But like anything else it's partly the consumers' fault. If we consume our news on tv or on-line (guilty!) how can we complain? I do my part by subscribing to three daily papers, but I'm just wasting the natural resources since I never read them. I read them on-line.

[ramona]

I wasn't going to be belligerent, but now I think I will. To the people who were once journalists and now bemoan how the profession is going down the tubes--why did you leave? Why did you abandon the industry instead of staying and fighting for change?

Is it because the money sucks, you got sick of constantly getting called out in the middle of the night, you got nothing but criticism from the public until they needed you, you were never home to help your family during bad weather and national emergencies? Or was it the insulting comments your wife got in the grocery store? Were the death threats the final straw? Or the cell phone that's strapped to your ear 24/7 so that you are never, ever "off"?

Everybody seems to agree--serious journalists are sorely in need. So, please, all of you "formers" who so freely criticize your colleagues, the ones still working for the sell-out papers while you quit and walked out the door, come back. Go to work at a teensy, low-paying independently owned newspaper. If you don't put honor and integrity back into journalism, who are you expecting to do it? Somebody else, right?

[Maryann Mercer]

I let my subscription to our local paper lapse several years ago, but I do usually get the Sunday local paper, especially during football season (my fall fixation), and on Thursday since that's when the insert for Local Events and Entertainment comes out.
I turn on our local CBS channel in the AM while I get ready for work but only to get the weather. If I catch a headline in the scroll across the bottom of the screen, so be it. And I check CNN online. I gave up on TV news for the most part during that travesty known as the last election...and I haven't found a reason to go back.
I think the media is an important part of this country but only when (if) they do the job right, check the facts, report the truth. But, let's face it, the truth can sometimes be really boring, or not what people want to hear, so journalism takes a back seat to creative writing, especially on the tube. If you want unvarnished news try BBC America. It's a reality check.
I've been catching enough of Ken Burn's latest to make the decision to buy the series on DVD. Would it have made a difference back then to see broadcasts of battles or Jewish transports (because Hitler would have made good use of the television medium)? It would be nice to think so, but I fear there would have been those then, just like those today, who would have said. It's all propaganda and not at all real.
Serious subject...and I like my newscasters clean cut thanks. Clive Owen or Colin Firth not so much...a little grunge is sexy.
And yep, I was proud of Barry. Elizabeth should never dish it out unless she can take it. That's fair play.

[Harley]

Nancy, I'm here in Alaska cracking up over the traffic jam story. Quel scoop!

I have a confession. I love facial hair. The unshaven look. I'm very sorry, it reminds of sex, something I haven't had in a long time. Story at eleven.

[Word Nerd]

Thanks for plugging newspapers today, Nancy! As one who earns her living working as a reporter for a small daily, it's nice to see somebody recognize the difference between print and TV news.

It is a tough business, but I have to say there are a lot of talented, dedicated people determined to still get it right in this profession.

[sarahS]

Ramona - All of the above. (Except for the wife thing.)First of all, I was expected to work the occasional holiday/summer weekends/ week of nights, know all about politics/economics/how the HIV worked for about $26,000 a year. No kidding.

But what really did it for me was that I was called in and made to work on July 10, 1998. It was a summer Saturday so I couldn't change my schedule. Even though my brother had died hours before. Cried as I wrote *other* people's obituaries.

The next day, I sat down and outlined a book about a hairdresser working as a reporter.

Does that justify my exit?
I owe that industry nothing.