The Rat Bastard CD

by Me, Margie, who knows one when she sees one

Let me be perfectly clear that this blog - and the entire CD project for that matter, is not about any one particular Rat Bastard. Please. There are so many of these assholes running around that you could throw a rock - a big rock - with spikes - in a crowd and it would undoubtedly hit one of them. Hopefully in the face, leaving a hideous mark. Not that throwing stuff in a crowd is a good idea. Unless it's a Rat Bastard Convention. Then, fire away. And call me. I'll help.

But if, in fact, someone were to THINK this were about them - and with some of the toxic levels of self-absorbtion exhibited by these mofos - it's possible, we just want you to know that if you subpoena anyone or anything from TLC, you're going to get our designated agent and representative: Me, Margie.

Can you imagine Me, Margie on the stand? "Look, your honor, I'm busy, so let's just cut to the chase. That asshole over there is a rat bastard. If you ask me, the guy needs to spend some time with me and a chainsaw. Make him pay. BIG numbers. It's the only thing the selfish prick understands. I have nothing further at this time. By the way, is it true you guys go commando under those robes? 'Bye!"

We haven't had a CD blog in a couple of months, and this is a holiday weekend, so most people are traveling and not -as I must assume is ususally the case - waiting on pins and needles for the blog to post. Heh.

So here is the CD project - let's say you were in a relationship with someone who turned out to be, let's say, the spawn of satan, or even just a code red dickhead. And we're not limiting this to men - women can be flaming jagoffs too. And let's say the sumbitch in question is finally on his/her way out the door. This is a great event and it deserves a soundtrack. A soundtrack that says: "Fuck you and the horse you rode in on" (no offense intended to the horse).

We did a small sampling, and here are some fantastic suggestions from some names you may recognize:

Our number one pick by consensus: F.O.D. - This is one great song - short for "Fuck off and Die" by Green Day. [Not to be confused with another soothing ballad, "FOD (Fuck of Death)" by Mortician - on their Zombie Apocolypse CD, which I think I heard at a Pre-K open house. Kidding.] Here are some sample lyrics:

You're just... a fuck,
I can't explain it 'cause I think you suck.
I'm taking pride
in telling you to fuck off and die.

That is just perfect, isn't it? Thanks to everyone who suggested this one.

Another top vote-getter was Alannis Morisette's "You Oughta Know".

Jon Bon Jovi's "You Give Love A Bad Name" was also popular, as well as Carly Simon's "You're So Vain"

And in a surprise hit from the vault, Nancy Sinatra's "These Boots Are Made for Walkin'" showed up on several lists.

And now, for a sampling of our other contibutions. We (OK, Me, Margie but with help from Tom in CA and William in TX, both tech guys who know how to burn the MP3s I can't find on iTunes- but don't kid yourself about who is in charge and will make the final cuts. Just saying.)

From Sarah:

I Use to Love (him) But It's All Over Now...The Stones

We Won't Be Fooled Again...The Who

Take Another Piece of My Heart (Janis Joplin)

Idiot Wind (Bob Dylan - "It's a wonder you still know how to breathe." Gold!)

Elvis Costello's Angels Want to Wear My Red Shoes ("used to be disgusted, now I try to be amused")

From Cyndi - Faith Hill's Ain't Gonna Take It:

I’m gunna crawl out from this stone
that I’ve been under
to see the light and breathe the air

And another Faith Hill song called "Free"

I'm free...kicking out of that prison
I'm am free...singing those words of wisdom
Let it be...nobody gonna put the blues inside of me

Elaine suggested a fantastic song for almost any occasion: "Bitch With a Bad Attitude". Classic.

Maryann says: Well there's that ol' stand by "Hit The Road, Jack (and don't ya come back no more no more...)" and Paul Simon's "Fifty Ways to leave your Lover" AND Gloria Gaynor's "I will Survive". I like Sin City by the Dixie Chicks too.

Laura (in PA) suggested some first class country songs:

Here's a Quarter (Call Someone Who Cares) - Travis Tritt
Drinkin' My Baby Goodbye - Charlie Daniels
Blame It On Your Heart - Patty Loveless
Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood (also suggested by Karen)
You're Gonna Miss Me When I'm Gone - Brooks & Dunn
How Do You Like Me Now - Toby Keith
Better Things To Do - Terri Clark
Goodbye Earl - Dixie Chicks
Kiss This - Aaron Tippin <<

Josh came through with these classics:

"Cocaine Blues" by many, including George Thorogood and Johnny Cash. ("Early one mornin' while makin' the rounds, I took a shot of cocaine and I shot my baby down. I shot her down cuz she laid me low. I thought I was her daddy but she had five mo'.")

"Go your own way" by Fleetwood Mac.

"I will survive" by Gloria Gaynor.

"Positively 4th Street," by Bob Dylan ("You've got a lot of nerve to say you are my friend").

"Hats off to Larry" by Del Shannon.

"You Don't Own Me" by Leslie Gore.

"You're No Good" by Linda Ronstadt (from my wife) - Hi, Mrs, Josh! We know you. Well, okay, we know stuff about you. Not that we'd ever repeat the stuff, I mean.

Nancie the Gun Tart (and really, when a woman is armed and playing this music, you'd best mind what she wants, son) sent these fine tracks:

Linkin Park-In the End

The F-Ups-Screw You

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers-Don't come around here no more

Motley Crue-Don't go away mad-just go away

Katie suggests Insensitive by Jann Arden, and Katie already has a play list called "Boys Suck" - Katie and I are going out for drinks to compare notes.

Kerry the Martial Tart had a good one, with a very cool explanation:

Linda Ronstadt's "You Tell Me That I'm Falling Down" from Prisoner in Disguise. It's basically a "You think there's all this stuff wrong with me but, know what? I'm a big girl and can take care of myself -- the highs and the lows -- and you're full of shit anyway." But ballad-y, you know? Yes, Kerry, we do know, and we think you should be a music critic.

Sue sent this list:

Better off Without You - the clarks
Goodbye Earl - dixie chicks
The Thrill is Gone - bb king
Good Person Inside - jill sobule (great lyrics)
I'm An Asshole - dennis leary (I'm not sure, but I think that was the opening Sing-a-Long at the 2004 Rat Bastard Convention)
Real Man - bonnie raitt

Solon suggested "Call Tyrone" by Erika Badu. Dont' know the song, but I like her headgear.

Steve added this one to the list: "Thank God and Greyhound" by Roy Clark.

Bea had two gems to add:

Alison Krauss--Forget About It
Mary Chapin Carpenter--Out of My Life -best line: "But when she burns you again, and your phone doesn't ring....Baby, it's me."

And Tom not only sent song suggestions, but links too. Yippee!

Harry Nilsson's 'You're Breakin' My Heart (So Fuck You).'

'He Had It Comin' ' by Kander & Ebb from 'Chicago.'

Y'Know, I LOVE this song! I am going to get out my dance hall stockings and sing this one as loud as I can. You know, in solidarity and stuff. OK, here are the cool links from Tom, who says he and his work pal wasted a whole shitload of time on this, which I always like to hear. Plus his work friend suggested a song from Avenue Q with these lyrics:

There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;
And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."
I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime,
But there's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of your time.

And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore.
I don't think that you even know what you're looking for.
For my own sanity, I've got to close the door
And walk away...

Rolling Stone did an article on Angry Love Songs, and Tom sent the link: 20 Best Angry Love Songs

And then there is a blog about Break-Ups Songs: Songs To Break Up To

I am so damn proud of all of you. And I just have to add a couple from Margie's FU playlist:

"My Give-a-Damn's Busted" by Jo Dee Messina
"U Had Me" by Joss Stone and
"I Don't Need a Man" by the Pussycat Dolls

OK, Friends of Tarts, your turn. Oh, and have a nice long weekend!

Comments

[Nancie aka Gun Tart]

And here are a couple more to add to the fine selections above:

Headstrong by Trapt

Glad That I Lost You The F-Ups

Someone recently suggested to me I’m in desperate need of parental supervision to monitor my music choices. I can’t imagine why.

Have a safe holiday weekend everyone!

[Josh]

Here's another:

"Cell Block Tango," from Chicago. There's almost too many lines to quote.

"He ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times."

"You know, some men just can't hold their arsenic."

"You could say we had artistic differences. He saw himself alive. And I saw him dead."

[Liz Clifford]

I think "Frankie and Johnnie" would fit into the what-you-would-like-to-do playlist. Pick your favorite version.

And for the old folkies, "One of these days" (I'm gonna tell God how you treat me) by Gibson and Camp. Why not go right to the source?

[peach]

The only time I hear this song is when my daughter and I are driving and she has this on one of her CD,s. Thought it might be appropriate.
By Pink: U + Ur Hand

"That's when dick head put his hands on me
But you see

I'm not here for your entertainment
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it's over
Before it began
Keep your drink just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight"

[Michael]

not sure of the artist's name or sond title, but this one seems to fit today's theme;

"I never kissed a girl til I met you,
Then you got drunk and cheated on me.
I never kissed a boy til I went to prison,
Murder in the First Degree....."

[Sue]

For the cheating bastard:
Joss Stone – "Dirty Man"
Miranda Lambert – "(I’m A) Crazy Ex Girlfriend" as well as "Gunpowder and Lead"

And for the daredevil driver/pedestrian who crosses your path - Jeff Daniels – "Have a Good Life (Then Die)" http://www.jeffdaniels.com/disc.asp

[Maryann]

Shawn Mullins did a song on his "Ninth Ward Pickin' Parlor" by the name of Maggie Brown...great little folksy number (about a guy who "got done wrong" but that'not the point) with one of my favorite all-time lines..."I guess I just saw red. I pulled my pistol from my belt and shot them graveyard dead!" Love that imagery :o)
Happy long weekend everyone!

[William Simon]

How could we forget the Classic Jimmy Buffet anthem: IF YOUR PHONE DOESN'T RING, IT'S ME.

Or the classic cartoon where two guys are sitting in a bar, late at night, listening to Frank Sinatra on the jukebox, and one says "I wonder who HE listens to...."

[SarahS]

And since I'm going thru an Amy Winehouse phase, let me add Stronger Than Me. Can't get it in the US yet, but it's on youtube.

Also, Is That All There IS? By the late great Peggy Lee.....Somehow, it diminishes the jerk.

Great blog. I'm feeling the power.

[Amy]

My favorite at karaoke:
Scandal's "Goodbye to You"
and a little obscure but The Murmurs'
"You Suck"

They get the point across.

[Kerry, the Martial Tart]

I SO want a copy of this CD. Not that I'm planning anything, but because we all need to hear the powerful message that we don't need someone else to validate us.

Plus, sometimes it's good to have music you can just wail to in the car :)

[mary alice at mystery lovers bookshp]

Ipod challenged here......I have the Erika Badu CD in the store and I'll let you borrow it for the Tyrone song. Love it.

Everyone have a few hot summer nights this weekend as we all move on......head full of lyrics.

[Mary]

Kristin Lems had some good ones "If I'm a Clinging Vine, then you're a pumpkin," "When It's Said and Done the only one you can stop him from calling is you."
Casey Jones' "I Keep Missing My Man but my aim is getting better"
and my new fav "Collecter of People -- not worth my precious time"
And I'll throw in a book (English teacher hazard) -- IF I'D KILLED HIM WHEN I MET HIM (I'd be out of prison now) by Sharyn McCrumb -- hysterically funny!

[Shannon]

She Let Herself Go by George Strait. Of course, I believe that there's a George Strait song to suit any situation.

[Pam aka SisterZip]

Walk Away on Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson:

"I want a man by my side
not a boy who runs and hides
are you gonna fight for me, die for me
live and breathe for me
do you care for me
cause if you don't then just leave.
Walk away."

or

Never Again on My December by Kelly Clarkson

"Does it hurt
to know I'll never be there
Bet it sucks
See my face everywhere.
It was you
Who chose to end it like you did
I was the last to know.
You knew
Exactly what you would do
Don't say
You simply lost your way.
They may believe you but I never will.
Never again."

Such anger...its great!

[Tom]

William, I always had the feeling Frankie listened to . . . no one but himself.

And You, Margie - lest youse leaves deese fine people widda idea you ain't a culchurred tomato, don' fuggedaboud dat Queen of the Night's Vengence Ditty from Wolfie's 'Magic Flute' -

German Text
Der Hölle Rache kocht in meinem Herzen,
Tod und Verzweiflung flammet um mich her!
(snip)
Hört, Rachegötter,
Hört der Mutter Schwur!

The vengeance of Hell boils in my heart,
Death and despair flame about me!
(snip)
Hear, Gods of Revenge,
Hear a mother's oath!

Yeah. Like dem eggheads say, it loses a liddle somtin' inna translation. But the tune kicks ass.

This CD is gonna needa title. Howzabout PHONICS OF FURY?

MELODIES FER MANGULATION? RAT BASTARD ON A STICK?

[Pam aka SisterZip]

How about the "Rat Bastard Ravings" or "Rat Bastard Rant"?

[beachfla]

Helen Reddy's "I am Woman"...

[Sue]

I almost forgot Francine Williams and "One Monkey Don't Stop No Show"

"My baby jumped up this morning,
sat on the side of the bed.
He said, "I'm leaving you, baby."
And this is just what I said.
I said, "I can't make you stay if you want to go,
but it's high time, baby, that you should know,

One monkey don't stop no show.
One monkey don't stop no show.
So, if you still wanna go, go ahead,
and I mean every word I said."

[ArkansasCyndi]

First I want to say I'm a little alarmed by this group's hostility.

Second - I'm a little alarmed by the music this group listens to

Third - I'm so proud to be a member!

[Sue]

Francine REED...not WIlliams

[Pam aka SisterZip]

Cyndi....ditto for me!

But fortunately for the Rat Bastards, the hostility goes into music instead of their hearts!

[William Simon]

At the risk of getting pilloried, leave us not forget there are distaff members of the Rat Bastard Squad, too.

BJ Thomas's ANOTHER SOMEBODY DONE SOMEBODY WRONG SONG came out the very next day after.... well, never mind...:) Was a long time ago...:)

[Me. Margie]

Hi. It's Me, Margie --

We are KICKING ASS AND TAKING NAMES today! I feel the love. Really. Fine line and so forth. But there is nothing more beautiful than having friends to rant and rave when you need it.

Yes, I will try to do an iMix when we get the entire list together, and I will definitely do a follow-up blog with the entire play list.

One lawyer friend suggested that this blog and the comments be attached to all Pre-Nup Agreements. More powerful than a court order!

[Cyndi]

Don't forget Goodbye To You by Scandal. Good blog! I'm in such a mood for these songs today!