The Best Days to Sell Books

By Elaine Viets

There are some dates I never pass up for book signings. One is this Friday night, from 10 p.m. until midnight. That’s the witching hour for Harry Potter parties across the land. The stores are packed with kids drinking sugared punch and eating chocolate doughnuts and brownies.

I’ll be sitting in a chain bookstore, watching sugar-hyped kids take the store apart.

Why?

Because the children have parents who are wondering if they walk out of the store now, can they be arrested for child abandonment.

(The answer is yes.)

To distract the parents, I ask them if they’d like to buy my latest Dead-End Job mystery, "Murder with Reservations."

"You’re spending thirty bucks on your kid," I whisper, like the snake in the Garden. "Why not get yourself a treat?"

About that time, the little darling is pulling down a spinning card rack or dragging the white Harry Potter owl across the gray carpet. Yep, the parents deserve something. Probably a medal for motherhood.

"Sure," says the distracted mom, who is now wondering if abortion is retroactive.

"How would you like me to autograph your copy?" I ask. Once the copy is personalized, the book is sold.

"Make it to Jeanne," the long-suffering mom says, peeling her hyperactive offspring away from the Potter display. The kid throws himself on the floor and starts screaming, "I want it. I want it now."

Mom looks like she wants to sink into the floor.

I’ve sold thirty or forty hardcovers on Harry Potter night, mostly to parents. I could probably sell the Brooklyn bridge or oceanfront property in Arizona. The parents are so grateful an adult will speak to them. I’m not fazed by their kids’ behavior. I used to be a newspaper reporter, so I’ve seen much more childish behavior. I once had an editor rip out a phone and throw it across the newsroom. "We don’t print the truth, lady," he yelled into the broken receiver. "We just print what people tell us."

At least these kids are sober.

Here are other signing dates I never miss. These are not elaborate signings with a reading, Q&A time and chairs for the audience. I just grab a folding chair, sit at a card table by the entrance, and snag readers as they come through the door.

The day before Christmas: "Do you have a mystery reader in your family? Do you need a personalized present? I’m signing books right now."

The word that gets them is "personalized." A signed book looks thoughtful and classy. No one will know that you bought it yesterday.

The day before Mother’s Day: Sorry, gentlemen, but you’re notorious for waiting till the last minute to get your wife a present.

I do a version of my Christmas spiel, hitting the word "personalized." Works like a charm. Also, men are more likely to buy hardcovers than women. I don’t know if it’s because men make more money, or if there’s another reason. But I love Mother’s Day.

Father’s Day doesn’t work quite as well, because wives are more likely to buy in advance, and my books have a bigger women’s audience.

But at Christmas, Mother’s Day and Harry Potter Day, I declare a little holiday in my heart.

Comments

[Janice]

Excellent marketing and funny post!! My HP will be delivered to my door by Amazon on Saturday. Good luck with your HP/EV sales!

[Mary Alice and Mystery Lovers]

After raising three kids and driving a carpool of 7 for years, I learned a thing or two. That's why at Mystery Lovers you'll find mostly relaxed and happy parents brosing the store while the kids attend a showing of the latest Harry Potter at the Oaks theater two blocks away. At about 11:30 the staff in costume will lead a parade to the store for butter beer and treats and the shenanigans are at a minimum.
Live rescued owls entertain and the line moves swiftly. And Pittsburgh Magazine calls it the place to be on Harry Potter night!
Elaine, I'm sure your books and those of the other tarts will find a good home too.
Three more days. Ya gotta love it.

[Elaine Viets]

Sounds like quite an event, Mary Alice. Wish I could be there to see it.

[Rebecca the Bookseller]

Elaine - Brilliant!

Absolutely brilliant!

I'll be at Mystery Lovers (dressed as Trelawney, assuming I remember where I put the glasses) for the big night - bittersweet this time.

[SusanB]

Why do men buy more hardcovers? Generally speaking - they value more (financially) the work that goes into them. Women, stand up for yourselves! You're cool! I remember babysitting frequently as a high-schooler: and the men *always* gave way better tips than the women. They valued me watching the kids more than the wives did (ironic as it was often those same women who mostly took care of the kids) - so there is hope, generally the men did appreciate that work, though they may be awful at actually expressing it other than financially.
Off to hide under my tin foil hat for making broad generalizations.... (I know, there are many examples of the other way 'round: but they'e notable because they're unusual!)

[Harley]

Elaine, you are a genius!

SusanB, I kinda remember that from my own babysitting years, and my waitressing years too, so i grew up to be the exception. I fight for giving the babysitter a raise in our house, and I'm the one sneaking the extra five bucks under the plate of shrimp fried rice at the Chinese restaurant. Once you've lived on tips, you don't forget.

[William Simon]

Elaine, that is the single most brilliant stroke of marketing strategy I've ever heard of! One of those where you smack yourself in the forehead and say "Ah ha!"

You'll knock 'em out of the park Friday night, I know you will....

[Kathy Reschini Sweeney]

Simple but inspired - go get 'em, Elaine!

SusanB - I'm with Harley - once a waitress, always a better tipper.

Or in the great words of Steve Martin "My Blue Heaven" - 'I don't believe in tipping. I believe in overtipping."

[William Simon]

Got to go with Harley and Kathy on this one; I've known too many waitresses, cocktail and food, who broke their necks on a daily basis for very little return. I don't know what the common rate is today, but I've been known to start a riot leaving 30% or more. I guess anything is better than nothing, but I've seen too many people who stick with 10% or, even worse, say "I don't tip, you should appreciate my business." (Coincidentally, those are usually the most demanding customers.) How a waitress could hear that and not contemplate homicide is beyond me.

It's probably just another coincidence but, after leaving a tip like that, you'd be surprised how well I'm treated the next time I go in to that establishment. Also, I always tip in cash, not add to the card. Some places make the staff wait until the charge clears before giving the waitress what they're due. At Thrillerfest, the room service guys averaged 15 minutes after the first day there. I think it's jungle drums telegraphing or something.

Sorry, Elaine.... we now return to our regularly scheduled blog....:)

[Maryann]

What a great idea, Elaine! I bet the parents are thrilled to see a non-costumed, talking about anything BUT HP, adult in the room. Having just made 144 little circles with holes in them (Hogwarts House Badges) and coloring 50 Hogwarts House Ties for cashwrap decor, I'm gearing myself up for Friday night...all the booksellers working HP are getting together for a potluck dinner before the madness begins, and some for a few drinks after. Between 9 and the stroke of Deathly Hallows, the kids are the thing.

Just a PS on tipping...I usually start at 20% and go up or down from there, depending on the service, and I like cash as well and try to hand it to them, not just leave it on the table. I don't do room service, but I do leave a dollar or two on the desk every morning for the ladies who clean. Funny thing though, in Scotland, we left one pound sterling every day, and it was never picked up.(Yep, we left it all when we checked out)

Go get'em on Friday night Elaine!

[Elaine Viets]

Maryann, you are a brave woman. I've actually seen men leave a generous tip at a pancake house, and the wife steal part of it for herself. Turned out she was kept on a small allowance and was furious hubby was giving money to a strange woman but not to her.

[SarahS]

Geesh, I hope you're right, Elaine. Sleeping Beauty is on the Barnes and Noble discount table starting tomorrow. I was worried that people would fly by it on their way to pick up Potter, but now I'm wondering about all those mothers milling around the Beach Reads table.....Fingers crossed!

Good for you. I'm impressed you can stay up that late. I plan on taking a nap then breezing in around midnight to pick up my copies from Bear Pond Books....Anna's wearing her iPod so she won't accidentally hear any spoilers.

Wear earplugs everyone!

[Maryann]

Elaine, I think I'll keep a mental picture of you having intelligent conversations. Maybe that will offset the "he took my crayon" or "why do I have to be a Hufflepuff?" from the kids whose parents were'nt wise enough to make them take a nap :o) I plan to...nap that is...once I leave the day job!

[Shanna Swendson]

The stores let you do signings on Harry Potter night, or do you do it unofficially? Since I write books that are along the lines of Harry Potter, but for adults, and since the first book in my series came out right before the Harry Potter book 6, I tried to set something up for that weekend and was told that they wanted no other authors doing anything that weekend because they were so focused on Harry Potter. I did manage to creatively rearrange shelves at my neighborhood bookstore to move copies of my books onto some more prominent locations, where they promptly sold, but the stores wanted nothing to do with me as an author in an official capacity. I tend to remember that and smirk when I read the stories about how bookstores aren't profiting on Harry because the books are so heavily discounted and they don't sell much else that weekend because it seems to me they aren't even trying to sell anything else.

[Rita Scott]

Elaine - I'm so glad you feel up to taking on all the little.....darlings, yeah, that's the word I'm looking for! (are you still on drugs?)
Always tip in cash! IRS can't trace it!

[Shannon W.]

First time blogging on this but read almost daily. I have one question for Mary Alice. Butter Beer-how in the world do you get it? Of all the Harry Potter things in Harry Potter's world that's the one thing I want to try most!
Tips-I'm always the one who overtips. It's less embarrassing when you have extra cash and you're out with a non-tipper. Now, if we get same waitress she gives us free drinks.

Elaine, great blog and hope you sell out!

[michele martinez]

That's smart marketing, Elaine!

Oh, how I wished I lived in Pittsburgh. If I didn't have to be somewhere bright and early Saturday morning, I would hop on a plane and bring my seven-year-old to Mary Alice and Richard's for HP night. I love this series as much as my kids do. And I always love a costume party. (It would be worth it just to see Rebecca dressed as Sybil Trelawny -- PERFECT!. Hmm, I wonder who I would dress up as.

Speaking of Rebecca, I can't believe she hasn't told you all that she's doing a Potter prediction blog on Friday. Make sure you drop by to tell us your best bets for who lives, who dies, who's secretly good, who's secretly evil etc.

[PJ Parrish]

Elaine,
I admire your courage. If I had to sit in a bookstore filled with screaming fructose-fueled darlings, I'd set myself on fire. But the fact that I recently endured a Frankfort-to-Miami flight with a little charmer kicking the back of my seat for nine hours might be coloring my feelings a tad.

[Jeanna Schilling]

Woo hoo! I can't wait til Friday -- thanks Michelle!

Elaine, I am in awe of your marketing skills -- hope you have a great Potter night.

Mary Alice and Rebecca -- I wanna come!!! Unfortunately, I'm here in Houston, and going to the party at the B&N where I used to work. Just to keep my hand in, I'll be wandering around, talking up all the Tarts' books while I wait for midnight. I still love to see customers headed to the cashwrap with big stack of books I've recommended!

Sarah, I have the same worry as Anna (but alas, no iPod). I may have to hurt somebody if they blurt out a spoiler on my way out of the store. There'll be a media blackout at my house until I'm finished reading!

[Rebecca the Bookseller]

Jeanna - THANK YOU! On behalf of all the Book Tarts, hand-selling is the very best way to get new readers for our favorite authors.

Rita - amen on the cash. Love the way you cut to the chase, honey!

PJ - CONGRATULATIONS on your Thriller Award. Boy, was it wonderful to see a female author up there!

Michele - can the Saturday appointment and come to Pittsburgh!

As for Friday - it will be all Potter, all day here at TLC- think about your predictions and thoughts as we count down together to the Magic Moment.

[Mary Alice and Mystery Lovers]

Butterbeer?
Your favorite root beer and your imagination-------------the latter not in short supply with this crowd.

[michele martinez]

My Saturday appointment is can't-miss or I'm not kidding, I would, Rebecca! (It's Visiting Day at the older one's camp).

[Cinema Dave]

Since the Harry Potter spoilers broke last night, security for the books have been even tighter in library land. We are not allowed open the boxes until Saturday morning. All staff signed an oath agreeing to this procedure.

I plan on going to a little Waldenbook store on the corner of Federal Highway and Atlantic Blvd. Friday night/Saturday morning. This bookstore does something cruel -they give one 50% discount coupon good only when you purchase your "Harry Potter" book.

[Elaine Viets]

Shanna, the store invited me to sell HP night -- apparently I'm there to entertain the parents.
PJ, I'm with you on the kids and I cheer the stories of flight attendants who throw the little monsters off the plane.
Jeanna, thank you for the hand-selling. We authors depend on it.

[michele martinez]

C'mon, guys, lets not get too anti-kid, here. My boys are excellent travelers and have been from a young age, but I'm always sympathetic, especially to the really little ones, who get upset on the plane. Kids' ears often can't handle the pressure changes well. Plus, I'm sorry, but these reports of flight attendants drugging kids or telling parents to do so are outrageous. They should be criminally prosecuted as far as I'm concerned. Put in some damn earplugs and earn your salary fer Chrissakes.