Bra-ha-ha

by Nancy

A new photo of Hillary Clinton made the news this week, not because of her opinions on Iraq or the coming election. No, this new pic appeared along with outraged captions because of her . . .  cleavage. (You know you can count on The Lipstick Chronicles to keep you abreast----hahahahaha!---of developments of such national importance.) It seems Senator Clinton showed a little more skin than usual on C-Span, and all hell broke loose. Even Robin Givhan of the Washington Post said it was, "startling to see that small acknowledgment of sexuality and femininity peeking out of the conservative---aesthetically speaking---environment of Congress."

Jeez, Robin.  Got your smelling salts handy?

At least one idiot (You Know Who You Are) is going to complain of seared retinas, but you can go here to see the picture for yourself, if you feel moved. Me, I'm intimately familiar with middle-aged decolletage, so it's not exactly a shocking sight. In fact, the whole brouhaha made me want to vote for her even more because I hate it when somebody gets hassled on the playground, and it sure feels like HIllary's taking the heat for something that's just--well, natural, especially in the summer.  To me, she doesn't exactly look as if she's auditioning for Hooters. She looks like she got up a little late, grabbed her Chico's Travellers and threw on a nice pink jacket to cover it all up, and presto---she figured she was ready for C-Span.

I guess not.  We've coped with photos of Britney's hoohah, but a glimpse of the upper reaches of Hillary's sternum triggers a national hissyfit.

Whatever your politics, just about everybody's got--uh--firm opinions on what Hillary should wear or what her hair should look like.  I mean, don't we have other issues to be concerned about these days? (Like, who, exactly, is misbehaving in the Hamptons this summer?  Entertainment Tonight has failed me.) But, no. We get fired up about a woman leaving her Nehru collared suits at home for once.

The real question, I suppose, is this: Is it necessary for a female candidate to dress like a man to get elected? When she ran for the senate, she wore a rotation of black suits with pastel blouses.  I hear she threw away those suits after the election, she was so sick of them. (And they must have been dry-cleaned to death.) Now, it seems, she's testing the waters with different looks.  Obviously the cleavage outfit---uhm--fell flat.

Here's an article that spells out the rules for cleavage in the workplace.  Does your office comply?

Tit for tat, though.  Rumor has it that John McCain squabbled with his handlers on the subject of his "metrosexual" look--an outfit that was somebody's unconsidered suggestion he should try. It was a t-shirt worn under a v-necked sweater. I must be out of the fashion loop, because apparently this sartorial statement is a signal that the wearer might actually--gasp--get a manicure once in a while, a sure sign that he might have---double gasp!--gay leanings.  (My husband didn't get the memo on this either.  And since he buys clothes for himself only every couple of years, he's going to wander around sending off mixed vibes for a while longer. I wonder what the other guys on his football officiating crew think? Or are they equally clueless?)

Judging by McCain and some of his campaign staff recently parting ways, I guess male policitians are just as sensitive as women about the messages sent by their wardrobe choices. After all, look how Al Gore's ill-fated sojourn into the earth-toned palette turned out.

Are we really so bored by Iraq and national health care and the problems of the working poor that we feel we can be obsessed by the mistakes in every candidate's closet?  (You should see the number of outfits I've worn once or twice before I regained my sanity.)

There are pockets of rebellion, of course. Here's a woman running for governor of Alabama who campaigns with a photo of her cleavage and the caption, "More of these boobs" and a photo of the incumbent and his running mate with the caption, "And less of these boobs."  The photos are printed on t-shirts available from her campaign . . . along with marijuana stash boxes.  I wish her the best of luck. Really.

Hang on, though. Is the cleavage issue really not one of dressing appropriately for elections, but one of--and I truly hate to say this---age?

When, exactly, should a woman start buttoning up? And when is a man too old to wear a t-shirt under his V-neck?

For obvious reasons, I know a lot of ladies over the age of 50, and some of us prefer to keep things covered up while others figure you only live once and you might as well do it dressed however the hell you like.  I have friends who will go to the grocery store displaying more bosom than Courtney Love.  (You Know Who You Are.) Dignity, schmignity.  We came of age during the sexual revolution, and now they're saying, I may be over twenty-one, but I worked for what you're leering at, Bubba, and I'm still hot!  (And they'd be right.) Me? Okay, I'm a long way from the days when junior high classmates tossed popcorn in the direction of my 38Cs, but yeah, even I've been known to hoist myself into a Wonderbra from time to time. You don't like it?  Then what are you looking at, moron?

I haven't started to wrinkle yet, though.  Maybe that's the line I need to draw?

To fight off the ravages of gravity, you can exercise, scrub, exfoliate, wrap, massage and apply six dozen different lotions and potions.  Canyon Ranch offers a service called the Anti-Aging Neck and Decollette Treatment.  " . . . a unique treatment for the often-neglected area that provides a targeting approach to the visible signs of aging. Topical vitamins, antioxidants and fruit acids repar, rejuvenate and restore tone to this delicate area.  Please allow an additional 25 minutes."  Don't you want to know what they do to you for 25 minutes? And is it the opposite of a mammogram?

(Lest you think I'm a total skeeze, here's an article about a movement that somebody--hello, Bob Jones!--is trying to start to get teenagers (and their Desperate Housewifely mothers) to dress more modestly. Is there anything wrong with a little backlash against those provocative butt cracks that start in the dressing rooms of Ambercrombie & Fitch, Rue 21 and Wet Seal? I can get--er--behind this one, to a certain extent.  There's just some stuff we don't need to see.)

But I'm annoyed that these days people are talking about Hillary's cleavage or McCain's sweater or John Edwards and his haircut.  (Okay, the haircut shows a little lapse in judgment.) It smacks of---oh, I dunno---somebody trying to distract us from the real issues, doesn't it?

As for me, I hear there's a heat wave coming, so I've got my hot weather wardrobe ready. Shorts? Not with my legs. (Not only do I have a little cottage cheese going, but my skin tone is what we call Holly Farms Chicken.) But I have a nice linen skirt.  And a couple of pairs of Capri pants. And yeah, a few low-cut summer tops that I'll wear along with . . . sunscreen.

Good thing I'm not running for office.

Don't forget! Tomorrow is the TLC Deathly Hallows discussion! Don't stop by if you haven't finished the book, because there will definitely be spoilers.  But if you've read the book and want to dish, this is the place to be!

Comments

[MARY ALICE AND MYSTERYLOVERS]

Yikes!
This is the least of my worries. After 60 plus years on this earth I have no cleavage...just ugly scars that the best docs cannot change b/c of radiation---boobless but still hugging. Monday I see my oncolgist about my current state of health following surgeries and chemo for the BC!
Right now there are several of us sister/Cancer Vixens (A great book, by the way) who are mystery bookstore owners...weird but maybe an age thing. More to the point........what is going on with the numbers of us who are dealing with the ravages of breast cancer. Shrill rant over... but not for long! Trust me!
Thanks to you Nancy for a chance to vent.

[Joyce Tremel]

I'm definitely not a Hillary fan (as a matter of fact, I don't like anyone in either party), but I think she (or any candidate) should be able to dress however the hell they want. I don't see anything wrong with her outfit.

Personally, I'd love to see someone just wear jeans and t-shirts. Forget the suits, the ties, the fancy haircuts.

[Nancy Martin]

Thanks to our very own Vixen Mary Alice for reminding us of what really matters whenit comes to this issue!

[Liz Clifford]

I missed the outfit in question, darn it. But let's cancel the next debate and have a swimsuit competition instead. And if Hillary elects to wears a bikini, all the men have to wear speedos. I see Obama winning that one by a landslide, but McCain might have some silverback fans in the crowd.

[j renee stuart]

Good luck on Monday, Mary Alice. While you're with your oncologist, my best friend's sister (sort of my 'sister-by-default' for the last forty years) will be having a mastectomy. Her cancer was discovered thanks to her Routine Mammogram. (I wish I could put that in bold print)anyway...the point is,Fellow Tarts, don't skip your mammogram. I know it's not fun - hell... I walk in there a 38C and walk out a 42Flat, but it saves lives. Maybe yours.
I don't know how to do that techno-cool 'linky' thing - but here's a website with a petition that will make it a mandatory 48 hour hospital stay after a mastectomy. Please (pretty please with milk and sugar?)sign the petition and pass it on. http://www.lifetimetv.com/breastcancer/petition/signpetition.php

p.s. Cancer Vixens ? Is this a book you would recommend to someone who is undergoing treatment?

[bea]

I could not believe that Hillary's cleavage was a headline. A headline.

My first thought was that the national press is just as vapid as the rags, but the national press has a cloak of respectability because it covers presidential candidates rather than rehabilitation candidates. But I think it's deeper than that. We seem to have become a society where appearance is soooo important that every little thing has to be plucked, examined, analyzed, and categorized. Image, they say.

My second thought was that this is a gender thing, with Hillary and Condeleeza given excess coverage (Rice wore black leather boots--another headline). But then there was Dick Cheney wearing the wrong coat at one of the Nazi death camps, and Al Gore's misbegotten foray into earth tones, and, more recently, a story about a congressman showing up on the floor in a Hawaiian shirt and sandals--and all of these got coverage. I hadn't even heard about McCain's image issues. (Remember Nancy Pelosi? Wasn't there more coverage of her hairstyle than her plans when she took the gavel?)

I am doing my part. I won't click on the stories about Lohan, Hilton, Spears. And I won't click on the stories about Hillary's cleavage, pant suits, thigh size, etc. Enough.

[michele martinez]

Ooh, Hillary. She's my man!

I think the smart strategy is to remove the physical appearance issue by dressing conservatively. She generally does that pretty successfully. I wish it weren't so, and that Hillary could let herself be whoever she wants to be, but we *are* a shallow society and that's not changing any time soon. I think she's in more danger from being too loosey-goosey than she is from acting/dressing like a man. Way of the world, folks.

[Karen Olson]

Hillary's cleavage still doesn't move me to vote for her...I find her way too devisive and we've had years of that.

It also shows that if she's trying for this look, or even giving in to her people who want her to think it's a good idea, it's on par with her feeble attempt to make cookies when Bill was president: caving in to the masses. Do we really want a president like that?

And Mary Alice, you're fabulous: inside AND out.

[ramona]

Hmmm, Nancy, last week it was bodice rippers, this week it's ripping bodices. What's coming up next Thursday?

[Maryann]

Cleavage in the Senate? Dear lord what is the world coming to? Next we'll be talking about how many wrinkles Obama needs to be president or whether or not John McCain has walnuts stuffed in his cheeks. Or, heaven forbid, how bad Biden's tee shots are. The real issues, health care, Iraq, poverty in America, illegal immigration, and more just aren't colorful enough are they? Who cares?
I'd rather see Richard Armitage, George (Clooney, not Bush) or Daniel Craig and Clive Owen in speedos!
My own cleavage only appears on special occasions...but like Nancy I do not like my legs, so no shorts. One look at some of the women at our local mall made that decision for me. Cropped or capris for me...and nice tops. What bothers me about cleavage is the amount of sun damaged skin I see...leathery, dry and parched, and given what we know about skin cancer (breast cancer too), scary.
One of the women I work with starts her chemo tomorrow. She was fortunate. Lumpectomy with only two lymph nodes removed. Hers too was found by mammogram. The pain is worth it.

[Elaine Viets]

Nancy, anyone criticizing Hillary's modest peep show needs to spend an hour on a Florida beach. I'm sorry to say the biggest eye offenders are male. Gentlemen, you are without shame when it comes to showing skin that should be covered in daylight.

[Harley]

Nancy, I don't even know how to begin to express how happy this whole blog makes me. The thought of John McCain as a metrosexual is going to get me through the day.

[Josh]

Bea, did you have a microphone in my shower this morning? Because your third paragraph sounds almost exactly like what I was ranting about. I despise Rice, but I was offended by the criticism of her S&M outfit, just as I was offended by the limited coverage Cheney's stupendously disrespectful showing at the concentration camp received. The coverage is sexist at best, and politically-based dirty tricks at worst (Notice that we don't generally hear about what people from one political party are wearing or their haircuts or botox, just the other party.)

The reason that Hillary is divisive is because she has been the subject of a smear campaign for twenty years. Something about a strong woman. Did you know that she shot Vince Foster to cover up their affair? How about that she kidnapped the Lindbergh baby and pinned it on that Bruno Hauptmann stooge? Was she hanging around St. Petersburg when she saw it was time for a change, killed the czar and his ministers and made sure Anastasia screamed in vain? Of course, I'm not saying that she was.

[Nancy Martin]

Oh, come now. For a non-political blog, this is getting awfully partisan.

I want to know who's in the Hamptons this summer? Can't anybody help me out here??

[Maryann]

I'd love to help, Nancy, but I'm not even sure where they are :o) And I have to keep reading DH or I won't be here tomorrow :o(
Just in case, have a great dish...I'll check the archives and add my two cents after the fact.

[bea]

As a matter of fact, Josh, I did listen in on your shower musings this morning. I usually do on Thursdays; hope you don't mind--and please stop singing those CATS songs. On Fridays, I listen in on Margie's morning activities. Need I say more?

[ramona]

Nancy, your wish...from "Hampton sightings"

"... Barefoot Contessa chef Ina Garten stopped in to Townline BBQ on opening night, Monday, and sampled some authentic BBQ. She sampled both chilis on the menu,­ the California and the Texas chili. A source says that she was "very intrigued by the fried cherry pie." "

I'm sorry I didn't find this the day of the berry blog.

[JDRhoades]

"The real issues, health care, Iraq, poverty in America, illegal immigration, and more just aren't colorful enough are they?"

The Republicans have nothing to say on these issues, at least not anything that anyone wants to hear. Nor do they have the high ground on issues like corruption and abuse of power. This is why they're desperately trying to get people to focus on non-issues like Edwards' haircuts and Hillary's cleavage, when they're not outright lying about Obama's religion. It would be hilarious if the lazy media didn't play along so willingly.

[mary alice at mystery lovers bookshp]

Cancer Vixen is a great book by a woman cartoonist, Marisa Marchetto, who was diagnosed just before her wedding. She does wonderful stuff-----New Yorker etc. I recommend it highly for anyone going thru this and you can order from us at www.mysterylovers.com
It is spot on and helpful. Shoe lovers will love the designer shoes she dons for each chemo session, too.

[Cinema Dave]

Oh JD,
in the words of my great spiritual mentor,

"There you go again."
--------------------------------------------

[Cinema Dave]

About today's central theme,

One trend that I see this summer more than any other summer is female fanny cleavage.

That used to be the domain of teamster guys, but modern day women seem to have the market cornered lately. Didn't somebody post an entry with photos about this subject last year?

[Cinema Dave]

Elaine is correct about male exposure, especially closer to Fort Lauderdale.

As for myself, I have turned into Robert Shaw from "the Deep." He is the only character who seems to go scuba diving with long pants and long sleeves.

Jaqueline Bissett......AAAAAWWWWWWWWWWW !!!!

[Nancy Martin]

Okay, as long as I have an Ina Garten sighting, I'm satisfied. (Fried cherry PIE??) I love Ina. Someday we have to run a quiz asking people who their favorite celebrity chef is. Much more volatile than politics, though.

[SisterZip aka Pam]

The femaile fanny cleavage is due to those damn low rider jeans. I hated those things in the 70s (when I looked GOOD in them)...I really hate them now. I really don't want to look at someone's ass cr...sorry. Everytime I see it, I think of Dan Akroyd (sp) and the Norge repairman on Saturday Night Live. Some things are meant to be kept hidden.

[SisterZip aka Pam]

don't know where I got the spelling for female...