Black and White Heroes

by Guest Blogger William Simon

(A tip of the Martini Glass  to Lee Goldberg, Author, Raconteur, Pierce Brosnan impersonator, and a like-minded guy.)

Time was, you could tell the Hero just by looking at him.

He was nice looking, perfectly dressed, and goodness glowed from within like a bright white light.  You knew that, within the space of fifty minutes (one episode, less commercials), the Hero would a) save the world or at least the small part of it he was standing in; b) get The Girl (yes, there was always a Girl, and in a time when calling her The Girl would not get you demonized, lynched, or worse); c) catch the Bad Guy and turn him over to the proper authorities, or dispense his own brand of justice; and d) do it all over again the very next week. 

We had police officers and private eyes, we had reporters and jazz musicians, we had doctors and secret agents, we even had the Hero of Heroes, Superman…..who, disguised as a mild-mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper, fought a never-ending battle for……..well, you know the rest.

Through it all, one hero in particular stood head and shoulders above them all, was the standard to aspire to, the perfect representation of the Man to Grow Up to Be, at least in my childish opinion:

THE SAINT, starring Roger Moore.

To a seven year old boy in Chicago, The Saint was a wonder.  Tall, broad shouldered, ridiculously handsome, impeccably mannered, debonair in the classical definition of the word, but boy could he deal with Bad Guys.  Exotic locations (so the reality was Elstree Studios back lot, back then who knew?), glamorous women, dastardly villains, cool cars, and always, without exception, on top of any situation he ran into.  The Saint never killed anyone, but if the villains met their own ends he didn't do much to stop it, nor did he agonize over it.  Justice was served, mystery solved, Bad Guys nailed, all with a healthy dose of wit, style, and charm.  Mysteriously wealthy enough to do as he pleased, anywhere he went an adventure was waiting for him, and he went a lot of places where adventures were waiting.

(Two questions linger:  Why was he almost always introduced as "the ‘infamous’ Simon Templar"?  He was the Good Guy, why would he be 'infamous'?  Also, many times when he landed in a foreign city, the police were there waiting to tell him zey vere vatching heem closssely…but he hadn't done anything yet, just walked off a plane; consider the fun his attorneys could have with that bit of business….)

There were attempts to revive the character:  RETURN OF THE SAINT in the 70's starring Ian Ogilvy was good….but it wasn't the same.  A series of television movies starring Simon Dutton in '89 were capable….but it wasn't the same.  (Sorry, but the less said about the abortive pilot with Andrew Clarke in '87, the better.  And one does not discuss the '97 theatrical film with Val Kilmer.  Ever.)

I've mentioned Chicago already.  In Las Vegas, while recovering from an accidental test of the Laws of Physics, there he was five afternoons a week.  In Miami, occasionally getting home at outrageous hours while leading a lifestyle that would be considered illegal these days, and learning from one particular incident involving my date's purse and a mugger that Ft. Lauderdale police officers have *no* sense of humor, there he was at midnight.  When I was transferred to Houston in the early eighties, didn't know a single person in the city, and everything that could have possibly gone wrong with the move did indeed go wrong, there he was at five AM, courtesy of a very nascent cable TV station.  Over twenty years later, when the last round of Corporate Layoffs left me "right-sized" (Hey, Kids!  Play the Lottery…if you win, you get to keep your job!), Encore's Mystery Channel had the series running every afternoon at 3:30pm.

No matter what was going on, it was comfort food for the brain.  A return to simpler times, easier times, when black was black and white was white and one had not yet learned the infinite shades of grey there are in the adult world.  (See?  It does tie in to the title, eventually….)  After many years of long careful precise unemotional logical Socratic thinking I've concluded that, sometimes, the Real World sucks.
Thanks to the advent of DVDs, the vagaries and whims of syndication programmers no longer hold sway.  All seven seasons of the series now sit in the video cabinet, to be watched as desired.  Or as occasionally needed.  Someone who knows me better than I know myself made the comment she can always tell when I am dealing with an ugly professional matter; THE SAINT runs on the home theatre almost 24/7.

I carefully considered the comment, marveled at the intuition, respected the intellect, then arched my left eyebrow in the best Roger Moore tradition, and suavely replied, "So?" 

I grew up believing this:  The Good Guy triumphed, no matter the odds.  Victims were always rescued, maybe at the very last moment, but they were alive and saved.  If your cause was Just, and you were Right, you'd win.  Bad Guys always lost.

(insert pause….. imagine shrug….. picture sheepish look)  I was a kid….what did I know?

Back to the point, look around today and we have no heroes on television.  We have sociopathic psychos with badges who ram guns down people's throats and yell "Suck THIS, pal!", and they are usually some sort of  recovering addict, be it alcohol/drugs, sex, or gambling.  We have characters who kill as easily as they sneeze.  Stealing is perfectly acceptable, as long as no one gets caught.  No damsel needs rescuing, and if she does it's usually a setup to try and kill the protagonist.  It is entertaining for him to slap/hit/threaten her, usually while screaming her marked resemblance to a female canine at the top of his lungs.  Lie, cheat, steal, hurt, no matter; it's okay, the end justifies the means.  Results are what count, not the methods to achieve them, and if you don't believe that, take a close look at the Business World today.

Heroes should be above the crowd; polished but not effete, superior but not snide, capable but not arrogant, strong but not uncaring.

Special.

Today, we have no Bogart, or Gable, or Cooper.  We don't have a Gardner, a Bacall, a Hepburn. 

Hell, we don't even have a Saint anymore….

William Simon tries to be witty.  He is successful approximately half the time.

Ed. Note: Regular Blog readers will no doubt notice William's absence from the Comments today.  William is in court, acting as a forensic expert witness in a child custody case.  The facts are horrendous.  These are the cases no one wants to talk about; these are the issues that keep decent people up at night. Not many people could do this kind of work and stay sane.  William does it, and keeps going back for more.  So thanks for blogging, William, and, you know, thanks for doing what you do.

Comments

[Joyce]

I miss the good old days too, William.

I'd also like to add my thanks for what you do. You sound like one of the good guys!

[j renee stuart]

Bless you, William. My best friend is a police officer. She's been hit, kicked, spit on and shot at. She's faced down killers with her gun drawn. The cases that give her nightmares are the ones that involve children. You're right about the Heroes.
"Heroes should be above the crowd; polished but not effete, superior but not snide, capable but not arrogant, strong but not uncaring."

"Special"

William, you *are* a Hero.

[ramona]

William, the reason Simon Templar was "infamous" was because he was a former alcohol/drugs/sex/gambling addict.

Okay, I'm kidding. I've never seen an episode of The Saint, so I looked it up on Wikipedia. Look what I found at the bottom of the article:

"On March 13, 2007, the American cable network TNT announced that it was developing a new one-hour series based upon The Saint. The proposed series (for which no broadcast date has yet been announced) will be executive produced by William J. MacDonald and produced by Jorge Zamacona."

Does this make you happy? After reading the editor's note, it sounds like you deserve a little perk.

I may be a Pollyanna, but I believe that, most of the time, firemen are brave, teachers are smart, doctors want to cure you, reporters try to get their facts straight, cops protect and serve with honor, and William Simon is a Good Guy.

[ArkansasCyndi]

I too have bemoaned the fact we have no Bogart, Grant et al (well, maybe Clooney) And We WON"T discuss Bond Actors!

I loved the Saint. I don't think I've seen an episode in 30 years! I saw the movie..'nuff said there, except I have the same car!

I hear or read stories about awful things (mostly man's inhumanity to man) and I'm always floored by things we do to each other. Story last week or so about the 17y/o Iraq female who was stoned to death in an 'Honor' killing. Seems she was friends or had a boyfriend who was a Sunni. This was April of this year.

NOTE TO SARAH - Got TSPB yesterday. Made the mistake of starting it last night. Almost impossible to put down. LOVE IT

[Kathy Reschini Sweeney]

What a great blog!

OK, I have to come clean. Until I started reading this blog, I had only a vague idea of who or what "The Saint" was about. Never watched it. Thought of Roger Moore only as a replacement Bond.

And the Movie Which Shall Not Be Named was awful, so that was no help.

Since then, I've seen a bunch of episodes. Love them. This guy is just as tough as Eastwood, but with more style.

Just one more way TLC is improving the world - bringing The Saint back to the forefront. one reader at a time.

And speaking of improving the world, thank heaven you can do this work William. Not many can. Godspeed today in court.

[Sue L]

William - between this blog and your blog on PROTECT, I think I can guess the kind of work that you do.

One of my good friends needed someone like you, and thankfully, she found a hero to help protect her and her children.

A hero, just like you.

We may not have them on TV, but we still have them in real life.

In fact, we have one right here, talking to all of us every day on TLC. William, The Saint.

[michele martinez]

Who says we can't discuss Bond actors? Clive could definitely play the Saint!

William, you ARE a saint, and I know you'll be great on the witness stand with that calm, authoritative demeanor of yours. Wish I could be there to see it.

[Maryann]

I too was glued to The Saint whenever and wherever it was showing...Roger Moore WAS Simon Templar to my young eyes. Saved the world, got the girl, rode off into the sunset, all the good things. Thanks, William for reminding me of that. My favorite good guy today (at least on TV) is Vincent D'Onofrio's Bobby Goren on Law & Order CI. He carries his own baggage but still gets the job done...usually by using his wits rather than his gun. Not sure he's quite Holmes, but close :o)
And William, thanks most of all for being there for those who can't protect themselves. PROTECT is a great organization. You are indeed one of the white hats in this gray world.

[NJ Joe]

Who didn't love The Saint? I even drove my Mom nuts trying to dress like him (just for Church).

We now have PROTECT's information avaialbe at the family's restaurant and are still getting people to sign up. (Hey, the free desert helps - but whatever works).

I am one of those men who just could not do what you do, William. Too much desire for street justice with these animals.

So I salute you for keeping the system working the way its supposed to. But if it doesn't, well, let me know.

Your blog brothers are with you in spirit today. To the extent you are able, please let us know how it goes.

[Marcia in OK]

William - sorry, but I've never seen an episode of the original THE SAINT series. I'll start checking my local cable listings, obviously, I've been missing out on good stuff. (I did watch lots of Marshall Dillon on Gunsmoke - does that count?)

And, I'm thinking about you today, and said prayers for you and those you represent in court today.

Do something relaxing and kind for yourself for this evening. Doing the right thing is vitally important, and, it is exhausting to mind, body and spirit. Rest up and be ready for the next time.

Good Friday to all.

[j renee stuart]

If he were here today, William would probably claim that he's no 'Saint' - but that's okay... To quote the great philosopher Billy Joel - "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. The sinners are much more fun."

[JJ]

I am going to go rent The Saint. If it's on DVD, somebody must have it. We could use some true heroes these days.

William - I add my thanks and will also say a prayer.

No one needs champions more than children.

I don't post much, but this is one of the few blogs I read. Gotta admit I came to see what Margie was up to and stayed for the rest of the good stuff. Most of the time, it makes me laugh. Some days, it makes me proud.

[Laura K]

Oh, man, I *loved* The Saint. And the other fab TV show ruined when they made it into a movie, Mission Impossible.

Ah, the good old days.

As has been said before, William, thanks for going to bat for those who need it most...especially when it's so often such a grim job.

[Rita Scott]

I remember, before we all had a/c, all the neighbors sitting in their yards fanning themselves, until The Saint came on, then everybody went in to watch it and toughed out the heat.
No one but Roger Moore could be The Saint (and he couldn't be Bond!)
William, now that I know what kind of cases you handle, it explains the alcohol, but Saint explains the style in which you do it!
thanks for being a white hat!

[Coco]

This is so true about today's 'heroes' in movies and on TV.

Have to confess though, that I am looking forward to the new Die Hard. He doesn't dress well, or have the smooth moves of The Saint, or Bond, Willis as McClane does get the job done.

I have worked with law firms for much of my career, and the kinds of cases William is on today are the ones that really kept the team up all night - preparing and worrying. So much at stake, and so many variables in the courtroom.

William- best of luck today. Hoping and praying for a happy ending, or whatever comes the closest. And I'll add my gratitude for the work that you do. Where I come from, we call it God's work.

[Mary]

A saint . . .with a sense of humor! " "right-sized" (Hey, Kids! Play the Lottery…if you win, you get to keep your job!" I wish you great success (and fewer nightmares) in working to protect children. A police officer told a woman's group that the hardest part of her job was taking custody of an abused child and NOT attacking those who had hurt that child. It's so hard to even imagine how someone could harm innocents. Stay well!
Meanwhile, Harry Potter is my hero for the next month -- I was talking to the Borders manager about the big release party. I might even make up a costume -- Trelawny (misty and otherworldly) or McGonagal (stern but loving). I've been told that I could be (have been?) either one.

[Kerry, the Martial Tart]

I've also never seen The Saint, but will try to catch reruns. I do find some heroes, at least off the beaten TV track. Ranger Marcus and Captain Sherridan, not to mention D'elenn and Jakar; Jon Crichton (sp??) and Aeryn Sun; both Bill and Lee Adama, and definitely Laura Roslin; and let's not forget the entire staff of The West Wing. Good people trying to do good things, in spite of real-world complexity and their human foibles.

Which is, of course, exactly what William is doing, goddess bless him!

[Petey]

I didn't realize The Saint was on DVD - guess what I'll be doing this weekend?

I loved that show, and it sounds like it holds up well after all these years.

Between Elaine's turtle story this week, and William's job, I'm feeling very anti-bully.

Hope things go well in court today - William, please do let us know. I'll check back late.

[Rebecca the Bookseller]

Sending good vibes to you, William. You'll be great.

Try not to tell the judge what you really think of him/her. They don't like that, especially if they're idiots.

Don't know how you do this work, but am very grateful that you do.

Kerry - do NOT get me started on the great Aaron Sorkin - can you BELIEVE they cancelled Studio 60? For what? Another 'Who is Dumber Than Who" Game Show? Makes me sick. Have NOT seen last night's finale - waiting for iTunes, so don't tell me.

But who are all these other characters? I am obviously spending too much time reading and missing some good TV!

[Michael]

Great, thought provoking blog William,

I think part of the reason for the demise of our black and white heroes is that everything, including a lot of the traditional heroic role models and their underlying values have been PC’d into a “make sure you don’t hurt anyone’s feelings.” shade of gray.

The heroes always won, the villains always lost, but in today’s “there are no losers” society, it’s ok to accept less black and white results. (gee, there’s that phrase again)

Our society (or at least the part of it Hollywood shows us on tv) has weakened because we’re afraid to insult those who don’t want to strive to measure up to those old fashioned heroic standards.

And our heroes have weakened to reflect that.

[Christopher]

I'm with Joe. Couldn't do the civilized part that you are clearly so good at, William.

So you're standing in for all of us today, and we're pulling for you and for this child.

I know the justice system is necessary, but I have a real hard time trusting the system to deal with people who are clearly a threat to children.

As far as heroes - I've started watching the old Westerns. Talk about simple times where good and bad were clear, and the bad guys lost.

[Dan Bodenheimer]

Thank you for the really great post about The Saint and for all the excitement it has stirred up! The official website of The Saint Club is at http://www.saint.org/ where there is plenty of news about all the DVD editions and the new series coming to TNT in the near future!

Roger Moore is The Saint. Sean Connery is James Bond.

[William Simon]

Dan, thank you for saying that! For those who may not know, Dan is a true "keeper of the flame", and has run www.saint.org since (forgive me, Dan, I'm not 100% certain) 1997 or so. Somewhere in there.

For all those who sent Good Thoughts and Prayers, thank you. Today didn't go as well as hoped for, but not as bad as it could have been. In the event, the child in question is in a safe, happy home for now.

Sometimes, Life is Compromise.

[Tom]

William, I didn't know you are another displaced Chicagoan.

Oh, the sweet sad glories of local Chicago television in the '50s and '60s!

[William Simon]

No kidding, Tom....the glories of WGN late night....