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May 26, 2007

TLC Advice-a-Thon: How to Tell Your Marriage Might be in Trouble

TLC Advice-a-Thon: 3 Ways to tell Your Marriage Might be in Trouble:

by Harley

1. You're so hung-over from the rehearsal dinner you wake up and beg your bridesmaid for drugs, just to get through the day.

2. In the middle of the ceremony, right after saying "I do," you think, "I'm making a terrible mistake."

3. A week into marriage, you unconsciously introduce him to someone with the words, ". . . and this is my first husband."

[by the way, he was a very nice guy and is doing just fine without me.]

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Comments

Jeebus!!!

And, you know, I believe every word.

Here's one I got from a former leading lady - "Never fall in love with someone who doesn't like dogs AND cats."

Or the one from earlier, about calling your spouse by another name when you're fighting? Try that one at the wrong moment on the wedding night, let me know how it works out for you....

How about, you discover that your husband has a MySpace--for "work" of course--and someone named Jezebel has been e-mailing, asking to be his friend.

Who the hell has a My Space for work?

Jezebel? That's subtle as a brick. So she's dumb and she's a tramp. Perfect.

My cousin's first husband had a real knack for finding the dumb tramps.

It was for a news story, Kathy. They set up a MySpace to see who would respond. Enter Jezebel.

I've gotten a lot of mileage out of it at home, but I guess I should have mentioned the particulars here, huh? Oops.

Ahh. It is a great story!

When a week goes by and you realize that you have spoken to your husband during this entire time....and you're not bothered!

Only a week, Cyndi? That's not trouble.

I'm wondering if someone might actually name their daughter "Jezebel" . . . in the South, perhaps?

Sad to say, Harley, but the answer is 'Yes'....

Harley, I am from the South and I know no one named Jezebel. Which makes me a little sad.

If you're a church musician or soloist for long enough, there are repeating patterns in weddings you dread to see.

You know the marriage is in trouble if . . .

. . . there's a fistfight during the reception - between the bride and the groom.

. . . the separate vacations start during the honeymoon.

. . . gifts of jewelry from one partner to the other are 'stolen,' followed shortly by large deposits into individually-held off-shore bank accounts.

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