Eileen Dreyer has entertained thousands of readers of mysteries and romance. But if you spend any time with her in person, you’ll find she’s deadly funny on the subject of writing and writers. The Lipstick Chronicles prevailed upon her to tell us her theories of the four types of husband of successful writers while she wasn’t out promoting her newest suspense paperback, SINNERS AND SAINTS.

The Four Types of Husbands for Successful Writers

By Eileen Dreyer

These are the four types of husbands seen with successful (meaning still employed) women writers. It started out being romance writers, but tracks right across into other genres. Husbands have been known to move from type to type, also. Unfortunately, more often in the
wrong direction. Ahem!

Husband Type 1: The Love Husband

Tends to show up after his wife has made her money. Has questionable background (membership in an heretofore unknown Indian nation or the Israeli Mossad is a favorite), even more questionable artistic talent, which the wife funds.

I do have pressings of one singing "between a rock and a hard place" in his leather thong. Finally, she sees the light and pulls the plug after catching him plugging one of the guests at a fan conference. We think one author killed and ate her husband after they procreated.

Husband Type 2: "Our Success"

He considers the career – created, managed and maintained by the wife – to belong to both of them. It is "our" agent, "our" contracts, "our" bestseller.

"Our Success" can often be seen shilling wife's work at conferences (I know this is completely unfamiliar to you guys), is particularly adept at shooting wife's career in the foot by interfering, insulting and aggravating every professional in her life. Truly the most uncomfortable of husbands, since at any publishing function he tends to stick to you like dogshit to your shoe.

And if the wife’s obnoxious, they tag team.

Husband Type 3: Mr. Threatened

He is so threatened by his wife's success and growing independence, that he either runs away --either physically or mentally – or becomes abusive.

Remember that the vast majority of us came to writing as a second or third career; moreover, our success was unexpected – at least by the husband. We've actually lost two romance authors to murder.

Husband Type 4: Mr. Perfect

I’m not exaggerating. He is perfect. He is supportive, supporting, at least as delighted as his wife by her success, his ego is completely separate from her success or lack thereof, he is a great help and the best cheerleader in the world. Okay, he will complain on occasion about the laundry not being done. But he doesn't mind being called Mr. Kathleen Korbel. In fact, he thinks it's a
kick in the head.

The really odd thing is that we realized that most of these guys bear a startling resemblance. I swear to God. They are mostly fair complected – light brown, red or blonde hair – medium to big build, and have what my editor calls "that cute pinchability" where you just want to take their cheeks and go "wudgy wudgy wudgy." Facial hair is optional.

Moreover, these men tend to fall into left brain careers: engineers, computer experts, chemists, etc. They tend to be much happier handling the practical side of the couple's life. If they partner with their wives to help with their businesses, they are excellent associates. They stick to no one’s shoes, but are remembered fondly by all they meet.

There is no known bridge between the first three husbands and Type 4. There is just this giant chasm. I've seen a couple of Type 3s make the climb to 4s, but I've never seen a 4 fall backwards into any other category.

And there you have it. I'm thinking of doing a paper for American Psychology.

Comments

[Katherine]

Yay! I know which one I've got.

[Alex]

W00t! I definitely married a four. He's a well-built programmer with light brown hair. And he'd be quiet happy to be Mr. Me.

[Nancy Martin]

Yikes! Good thing all those #1, #2 and #3 guys are at conventions this weekend. And Mr. Perfect is sleeping late this morning at this house.

Thanks for the hoot, Eileen!

[Kathy Sweeney]

Hilarious!

I think these categories could have a more universal application. K.Fed, anyone?

I am a big Eileen Dryer reader, and now I'm going to have to find out how to meet her in person.

Thanks for visiting and for a funny blog on a cold morning!

[Kathy Sweeney]

Whoa - you are Eileen and Kathleen Korbel? Duh. I thought she was your friend with the great husband.

I have Kathleen Korbel romances in my keeper section. I love Eileen's books, but please don't stop writing as Kathleen either.

Very cool. Two identities.

[Lula Todd]

Murder? Murder??? By their husbands? OMG!

[Mary Alice Gorman]

Rock on, girlfriend.
Let's make Kathy's dream come true and join us in Pittsburgh. You promised me a kiss on the lips after I reviewed Sinners and Saints.

mary alice

[Elaine Viets]

Eileen, you've been entertaining writers with this for years -- I'm so glad you wrote it down so everyone could enjoy it.
Elaine

[ramona]

I want two identities. And not for writing, either.

Funny stuff, Elaine. Do your separate identities get separate hubbies?

[ramona]

I'm sorry, I meant EILEEN. Elaine, Eileen, tomato, tomahto...

[Eileen Dreyer]

Actually, I'm evil twins, and we're both married to the same man--he finds that a bit kinky as well. And yeah, as Elaine said, I've been observing this for a while. But Twist finally convinced me to share in print. I'm just a font of sociological surveys. I also have a migratory pattern of white trash, but it's only applicable to St. Louis. And since I live there, it's NOT going to show up in print.

Eileen

[Kathy Sweeney]

Eileen -

You really must come to Pittsburgh, if only to test your migration theory. I think you will find evolutionary data and support for your theories here as well.

Mary Alice and I can even take you on a guided tour. And I'm not putting the itinerary in print either...

[Lucy S.]

"We've actually lost two romance authors to murder."

Now I am curious - who were these two people?

[Harley]

Brilliant!!

[Debby]

Eileen,

What a riot! Not that I am married or anything, but I definitely enjoyed it.

Loved "Sinners and Saints"! Hope to meet you again sometime as I am definitely hooked now!

Debby (met you at TTP)

[Lonnie Cruse]

My Type 4 accompanied me to Love Is Murder this weekend in a bitter cold Chicago without complaint. Well, without MUCH complaint. I made it worth his while.

[Charlaine Harris]

Hah! I've got a type 4. He's tall, chubby, a chemical engineer, with light brown hair. Lucky me!