Bla, bla, bla

By Sarah

Publishing is a roller-coaster business. (Hey, there's a cliche!) Last week, por ejemplo, I was in the dumps. I mean, I was wallowing in the orange peels, coffee grounds and egg shells. I had no talent. My new book was going to bomb. I didn't have enough time to write my next one. The isbns on the paperback of BUBBLES BETROTHED coming out in two weeks had been all screwed up on line. I was miserable. So miserable, that I overheard my husband and children weighing the pros and cons of shipping me off to a writer's colony. Or a leper's colony. Anything to get me out of the house.

But the Goddess of Miserable Writers is a merciful one and soon, after my due diligence lying on the living room floor, drops of goodness began to rain from the sky. My agent returned from maternity leave with glowing reports, Harley wrote to tell me she loved my first chapter (I don't care if she was being polite, I'll take it) and Meg Cabot gave me a killer blurb for THE CINDERELLA PACT.

And then there was "bla, bla, bla."

I don't know why this story cheered me so. Perhaps it is my genetic predisposition to schadenfreude, that delightful German term for taking pleasure in another's misery. But the tale of spoiled, rich, bratty lawyer Dianna Abdala put a smile on my face. Like I said, the Goddess of Miserable Writers is benevolent and catty. And Dianna is one miserable writer.

In case you missed her faux pas extraordinaire, Dianna is a 24-year-old, 2004 graduate of Suffolk Law School outside Boston, who was offered a job by a local criminal defense firm. Lucky she, no? She accepted and then William Korman, the attorney who offered her the job, called back to say they would be hiring two attorneys instead of one and, therefore, her initial salary offer would be decreased. (This key element goes missing in many news stories.)

Abdala, cocky little thing, shot an email back declining the offer and saying, "I have decided instead to work for myself, and reap 100% of the benefits that I sew.” (Note to Massachusetts Bar: homonym refresher courses?)

Also, Dianna noted, "After careful consideration, I have come to the conclusion that the pay you are offering would neither fulfill me nor support the lifestyle I am living." Dianna is apparently a self-proclaimed trust-fund baby. And a lawyer. Oh, dear, sweet schadenfreude!

Korman wrote back that her email rejection and subsequent voice mail, "smacks of immaturity and is quite unprofessional." Plus he had just ordered new "stationary." (Massachusetts Bar - I'm telling you - homonyms.) The nerve!

Abdala responded with the following email: "Bla, bla, bla."

I LOVE that. I don't love her or Korman, though I do relish the beauty of sharks fighting sharks. But I do love her response. It is the ultimate answer in this age of information bombardment and bad news, directives on how we should express our patriotism (or not) or conduct our personal lives.

Bla, bla, bla.

Characters in my books say it all the time. When Bubbles tunes out, that's what goes through her head. When Nola Devlin, my protagonist in THE CINDERELLA PACT, is being lectured to, "bla, bla, bla" is what she's thinking. And now a real woman in the vicious world of legal hiring writes it for the world to see. (Korman forwarded her emails to the Boston Globe and then the International Herald Tribune....Nasteee!)

News reports have centered on Dianna Abdala as a cautionary tale, about the danger of sending unguarded emails, but they're totally missing the point. Even if Dianna is spoiled and bratty and careless and a poor speller, this one 24-year-old chick so ticked off a big criminal defense lawyer that he had to tattle on her. Bla, bla, bla is that powerful. And I ask you....

Is there not a "chicklit" book in this?

I LOVE writing!

Sarah

Comments

[Mary]

I had heard the story but missed the Suffolk Law School punchline. Suffolk is a regional, "working class lawyer" school (and spread out in downtown office buildings). Disclaimer - I have several friends who graduated from there, received a fine education and have good careers. I also have a friend who I had to make an emergency should-to-cry-on run when her academic advisor suggested that Suffolk was probably her best bet for law school admission.

[Mary]

argh - shoulder-to-cry-on. No more posting before coffee.

[Lisa Coutant a.k.a. Pop Tart]

Love this!

[sarah S]

I was going to say that about Suffolk, but held off because a)I know plenty of people who went to third-rate schools who became first-rate professionals and 2)maybe it's good these day. Who knows, ratings are just bla, bla, bla, anyway.

[JDRhoades]

It's interesting that EVERY news story I've read about this omits the fact that they had decreased her original offer, i.e. it was the law firm that reneged on the deal, rather than the young female lawyer.

Oh, and criminal defense relies heavily on skills you don't learn in Harvard Law school.

[Harley]

I too, admit to occasional severe bouts of Schadenfreude. It's also one of my favorite words. Nearly as nice as "bla, bla, bla" (although I used the optional "h" quite often, as in "blah, blah, blah.")
PS: Sarah's new book ROCKS. Wait till you read it.

[Susan Co]

How odd, I thought the bla,bla,bla was what my dog hears when I tell him not to chew on my socks or my husband hears when I say No! honey you cant buy that nifty new 1200 horsepowered riding lawnmower! I guess it translates for many things.

[Janice the SweeTart]

Gee this reminds me of Charlie Brown cartoons, whenever the teacher talks all we hear is, "wah,wah, wah." Pretty close to bla, bla, bla. Personally I adore this response in general (not in reference to lawyers, who are all odd anyway) but my hubby doesn't appreciate my use of the blablabla..........hmmmmm wonder why?

[Kathy Sweeney aka Smart Tart]

I thought of Charlie Brown's teacher as well.

It also reminds me of the "Lalalala, I can't hear you", chanted in a sing-song voice while covering one's ears.

Wonder what the other partners in Korman's law firm think about this idiocy making the public rounds? I'll bet they used more colorful words than blah.

[Rob Gregory Browne]

I love the response, too. Pretty much sums things up, doesn't it?

Would work well in Hollywood.

[Josh]

People are meaner than they need to be. Lawyers can live by the Golden Rule, too.

My Suffolk Law School memory is that guy who killed his wife about 15 years ago. She was a Suffolk Law School alumna. He claimed that he was at a traffic light in Boston and some black guy came up to the car, tried to carjack them, and shot his wife. The city put out a typical "usual suspects" (read: unfortunate black men) search and actually made an arrest. The husband got found out and jumped off a bridge.

[toni]

I love this story, Sarah. Hadn't seen the point about the salary decrease, either, which makes a better story. Cracks me up. I suspect there will be some blah, blah, blahing going on around here for the next few days.

[JDRhoades]

"People are meaner than they need to be. Lawyers can live by the Golden Rule, too."

The good ones do.

But I'll say this: a lot of the meanness can beclient driven. "I want to you put a lien on all their assets! What do you mean there's no legal authority for that? I want a bulldog! I want someone that'll fight for me! All you lawyers do is take care of each other!"

Bla Bla Bla.

[Janice the SweeTart]

You know what I just realized? Every time Geo Bush talks I hear bla, bla, bla. No wonder I turn the channel. ;)

[Andi]

I lost all ability to buy ANY of it when I hit the part where the guy complained because he'd just ordered new "stationary".
It seems a) unlikely that he'd order biz cards, letterheard or ANYthing else until the new hire was actually physically on board, perhaps with a signed contract (dunno if they have employment contracts in law firms but I wouldnt' be suprised);
b) there's usually a probationary period with new hires, and new laywers are SO low on the totem pole that they don't necessarily GET added to the line-up right off.
And I'm sorry but the lawyer concerns himself with the details of ordering office supplies? i've worked in big firms, small firms, teeny ones and megahuge ones and I can't imagine the sentence "I just ordered new stationery" every coming out of the mouth of a lawyer. One article I read said he claimed to have already ordered cards, letterhead and set up an email account for her. Oh come now; any employer waits until someone's actually THERE before spending that kind of time/money. at least any reasonably intellgent employer. But then some more searching would seem to show that he's actually a sole practitioner. Still, no secretary? office manager?
And apparently he hired her off of Craigslist? Now I think Craiglist is a dynamite excellent resource, but um, is that really how new lawyers find jobs nowadays?

Seems to me they really were rather perfect for each other and deserved each other.

Oh well, maybe with some of the money he saved, he can hire a proofreader.

[Jan]

Oh, Sarah, how you make me laugh! I hadn't heard this story (have I been watching too much Olympics instead of news?) so I was thoroughly enjoying your retelling.

And then you stuck in the notes to the Mass. Bar about homonym refresher courses and I did actually laugh out loud. Yup, just me. Sitting here. At the computer. All by myself. Laughing out loud. (And, yes, I know those are incomplete sentences - they're supposed to be for effect. Or not.)

Thanks, m'dear! I needed that! :-)

[ceeha]

I am going to give Korman the benefit of the doubt and assume that he was kidding. He may have even spelled stationery wrongly on purpose. See, it's funny.