What's Good for the Boob....
By Kathy Reschini Sweeney
It's been awhile since I blogged. This is because I simply cannot keep up with the bullshit. If someone had told me - even two years ago - that we would be re-fighting about birth control, I would have laughed. Now I grind my teeth and wonder WTF is going on.
Let me just say this to our Guv, and to all those other men who think they can be blase about what does or does not get shoved into a woman's body against her will.
Let's play a game. It's a variation on pin the tail on the donkey, a favorite of children's parties for decades.
It's easy because all you have to do is close your eyes - and everyone knows once you close your eyes, it doesn't matter what's done to you because you can't see anything. Kind of like when my sisters told my little brother he could go outside in his underwear, and as long as he closed his eyes, no one could see him. What followed involved a lot of crying, and it wasn't my brother's tears.
Anyway, here's how we play - you go into the "doctor's" office - which might be a closet, or an alley but what do you care - you cannot see anything any way. Then you drop your pants. No peeking! Then your "doctor" shoves things up your ass and you have to guess what they are before they are removed.
Afterwards, you can get your prescription for hard-on meds, or the results of your prostate exam, or your blood pressure reading, or any diagnosis that might require antibiotics, or painkillers, or any other non-OTC meds. I mean - if you are dumb enough to let yourself get sick, then you should be willing to take one (or more) for the social order if you want to get well. If you had just abstained from things that someone else knows are bad for you, you wouldn't be in this, uh, position in the first place.
Who is voting for these creatures?
I thought the civil rights challenge of my generation was supposed to be LGBT equality. Enough with the homophobia, people. Get over it. Time has illustrated that your house on the culdesac is safe from marauding bands of gay banditos in colorful minivans with the sole intent of ruining your marriage. And for that fabulous visual, we thank you, Lewis Black.
Instead, there is a group of people who seem bent on setting women's rights - and all civil rights - back about a century. And here is the scary part - other people appear to be listening to them! Is it selective blindness or deafness? Is it ignorance? My favorites are the ones who claim to be constitutionalists. Good grief - one of the primary purposes of our independence was to be sure our rights rested with the People - not the federal government. Not even Jefferson or Franklin - who were well-known fans of inserting things at every opportunity - would be able to make sense of this kind of crazy.
Finally, let me just say something about the position of "Right to Life". Because there seems to be some real confusion about what this means these days. If, by right to life, your vigilance ends when a human exits its mother's uterus, then you are missing one helluva chunk of the "life" part.
Abortion is a heartbreaking issue. Nobody gets up one day and says - hey, I think I will go about getting myself an unwanted pregnancy so I can have my reproductive system ripped up, along with my emotional health. Most women who have to have medical assistance to end a pregnancy do so with great sorrow. Did you know that if you have a miscarriage - through no fault of your own - and within the sacred bonds of marriage - even if you only had sex in order to have kids and you didn't even enjoy it - you have to have a procedure to remove the balance of the tissue before it becomes necrotic and causes an infection that could render you sterile. This procedure, under most of these proposed statutes, is considered an abortion.
If your baby dies in utero - and this happens - can you imagine the nightmare of this? If this horror visits your house, you need to have a procedure to remove the fetus- you know - the baby for whom you just finished painting the nursery. The baby you wanted more than anything. This is also considered an abortion, and you can now double-down on the trauma by having to hear about how you are a baby-killer, complete with video.
And if you are raped, and you want to be sure that there are no permanent injuries to your reproductive system, or assure that you did not acquire some kind of disease, you say YES when the doctor asks you if you want to have a similar procedure. This is also considered "murder" and therefore verboten according to these self-righteous asshats.
I would like to have about five minutes alone with anyone who thinks any of this makes any damn sense. But first, they need to spend some time with women who have endured multiple miscarriages, or lost babies in utero, or survived a rape and still get out of bed every day. I know all these women and they would be happy to speak with you.
And then, if you still think any of these laws are appropriate, we are going to play my new game. Would you like this blindfold on first?